Not all roses

I turned on the TV to watched the recorded finale of "The Bachelor" and there sat Emily and Brad on the couch while "After the Rose" show was airing.

Yep. I learned who Brad picked before the finale aired. Until today when Holly e-mailed me that she saw a magazine cover with Emily and Brad and then I saw the same magazine in the check-out line at the grocery store today, I thought Brad would choose Chantal. But I was still hoping for Emily.

Seems like my hope was reality. But, as Emily shared later, reality TV doesn't mean a transition into reality is easy.

Emily asked a tough question: What does being a father mean? As a parent, I so appreciate that. I get where she's coming from. I understand why Brad didn't want to be questioned over and over again, but I also think Emily just wanted to make sure she wasn't opening up her life -- and her daughter's life -- to someone that wasn't really in it. Even though it was a hard conversation, I think it was necessary, and it didn't deter Brad in the end.

And wasn't that Train song beautiful?

So ... after the final rose. They seemed still to be adjusting to each other but like they want to make it work. At least Brad seems to realize that the show is a fairytale and real life isn't.

I kept wondering why Emily's engagement ring was missing? And I was surprised they had planned to get married last night -- on TV. I think it's OK to wait, even if that's what they want, so they could deal with the logistics of this life-changing season. I hope it works. I hope love prevails.

Brad just keeps rubbing her ring finger, which really didn't have a ring on it.

Even so, Emily really needs to get over the show, and Chantal. I don't want her insecurities to get the best of all the potential good things. "I was watching it and thinking, 'I'd pick her.'" Thing is, Emily, Brad picked you.

Rest in that.

And -- finally -- he gave her the ring to put back on her finger. I guess it fits better now.

Lions and tigers and roses ... oh my!

And "The Bachelor" and his ladies are in South Africa.

I'm liking Chantal more in Africa. Several weeks ago, I was really liking her, and then all the emotional drama got to me. She seems to be back. And how cool that they're sleeping in a tree house. Although, really, I'm not sure I'd actually sleep there, in the middle of the nowhere, where wild animals are sure to be.

Helicopters are no surprise on "The Bachelor," but Brad picked up Emily for their date on an elephant. "This is like 'The Lion King' but better." Nice, Emily.

I know I've said it before, but I respect Brad's respect for Emily being a mom.

Did Ashley really think she was going to be on "The Bachelor" this long and not ride in a helicopter? And, on the same note, did she think she was going to be in the final three and not have to talk about the future. Brad kept apologizing to her, but it's not his fault she's apparently not into talking about how their lives could come together.

I'm sure Ashley will have more to say next week on the reunion show. Oh, and speaking of talking, I'm sure Michelle will have a thing or two or fifty to say.

My favorite two women are left standing, waiting for Brad. After meeting his family, he'll [supposedly] pick one. I'm still hoping Emily is his girl, but I have the feeling Chantal will be handed the final rose ... and a ring.

How do you think this show will end?

Hometown Bachelor

I've watched a few [OK, several ...] seasons of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette." And, I have to say, I love the hometown dates. I love seeing the other towns and cities, and I like to see what "real life" does to the relationships that are fostered in a romantic bubble.

So, moving on to my commentary I jotted down during tonight's episode of "The Bachelor" ...

First up, Chantal in Seattle. I've been to Seattle. And I like Seattle. After their hometown date, Chantal is my second favorite girl left. During the date, Chantal kept talking about how huge this hometown date is. Agreed. Then they walked into her parents' house. Um, that's what's HUGE about this episode. Literally. Just look at the front door alone. It's so, so tall. And there's a "self-made man" statue. Oh, and there is much, much, much wine.

I liked learning about Madawaska, Maine, as much as I liked listening to Ashley say she's confident now. I detect more disconnect coming. But, first, what do you know ... Ashley, the dental student who isn't actually a dentist yet, made the short list of notable Madawaska people on Wikipedia. Of course, there are more moose than people there.

My other favorite part of Ashely's hometown date was her tattooed sister, who talked about heart bursting using hand motions.

Shawntel was a little creepy in Chico, CA. Of course, she is a funeral director in a family who owns the funeral home. So I suppose it was appropriate the family's funeral home commercial opened her segment. And, you know, that organ music that played next would make me scared of anything, including death.

Brad may not have heard the creepy organ music, but he did see the fiery crematory. Then he said, "Can I follow you, where it says 'danger'?" And then he laid on an embalming table.

She totally dropped the not-running-the-family-business-because-of-love conversation bomb at the dinner table. Not cool. And then Dad was pretty blunt about her leaving would affect the community. Nothing like a guilt trip before blessing the relationship and hypothetical forthcoming marriage.

Saved the best for last. Emily in Charlotte. And her 5-year-old daughter, Ricki.

Brad was so patient with Ricki and isn't scared of that most important part of Emily's life. And Emily was so brave to let Brad in her life like that. Their date was so real. They even played Candy Land and cooked together. Then Emily had to be patient while Brad sorted out some weird your-kid-is-upstairs-sleeping-so-I-won't-kiss-you-goodbye thing in his own head.

My preferred pecking order would be Ashley to go next, then Chantal, and then the relationship that doesn't end with Emily. We'll see what Brad thinks, continuing next week in South Africa.

'How do you not fall in love here?'

I want Chris Harrison's job. [Apparently, so does Holly!] He gets to narrate "The Bachelor" and travel to pretty places. Like Anguilla.

Now on to my episode babble ...

While flying away on a one-on-one date with Emily, Brad said he hopes his relationship with Emily "take off." Ha. Takes off. On a private island, I'm guessing that's a pretty good start. Although the private island looks a little more like a large sandbar. I'd take it, though.

All this talk about whether Brad will meet Emily's daughter if he goes to her hometown along with recent conversations with a friend who is interested in a guy who has two young kids has me thinking about dating and kids. First, it makes me thankful for my family of four situation. But, hypothetically, I get Emily's reservations about introducing a guy to her daughter. It's easy for a small child to get confused if people go in and out of their life. Kids don't get time and emotions.

Can I just say that I love that Brad "broke the rules" and told Emily she's getting a rose ... and hometown date.

Shawntel seems like she'd be fun to hang out with.

"How do you not fall in love here?" I was thinking the same thing, Shawntel. Seize the moment for sure.

I'm glad Britt is getting the third one-on-one date, but I'm not so sure all her make-up was necessary, especially on a beach vacation. Oh, there's Michelle. She's been quiet so far. After saying Brad was wasting the yacht on Britt and mentioning "Britt and Brad" were cute names together, Michelle made me laugh more than she made me cringe, for once: "Not only do I not see them getting married, but I don't even see him friending her on Facebook."

Um, did Britt wear lingerie to dinner? And I had no idea her hair was so long.

Brad's therapist needs to tell him that it's OK that he's not falling in love with everyone. Sure, Britt is sad, but he can't help if he doesn't have chemistry with everyone. And, really, why would he want there to be chemistry with all six girls left? That would just complicate his heart.

Ashley, Chantal and Michelle. Wow, what an emotional, intense combination for a group date. Brad woke them up to start their date in the dark, yet Chantal still put on a dress.

And that's the last time the girls actually put anything on. They ended up with less on for their photo shoots. And, emotionally, the three women shut down.

Next up, hometown dates for Ashley, Emily, Shawntel and Chantal. Finally. Michelle can go home now. Her exit [both the walk out and the limo ride] was the quietest she's been all season!

And then there were six ...

My commentary while watching last night's episode of "The Bachelor" ...

Costa Rica! Much more magical than Las Vegas.

Michelle: Yes, if Brad is more interested in Chantal than you, then you aren't his girl. Duh. And I doubt she gets attacked by apes, or monkeys. And, really, I'm not sure how the rain can be creepy.

Um, Michelle called Chantal "aggressive." Pot. Kettle. Black.

I want to zipline there. And I want to rappel down a waterfall.

Really, Michelle? If Jackie is dramatic, then I'm not even sure what the word is for you. Again. Pot. Kettle. Black. Oh dear, then Michelle gets to rappel down the waterfall with Brad. She doesn't deserve that extra special treatment.

The girls are just "starting to bother" Michelle. Seems like they have been bothering her since Day One.

Even Brad rolled his eyes at Michelle. Of course, then he kissed her.

Alli seems like a nice girl. But I wasn't surprised Brad sent her home. He's not there to make a new best friend that isn't his wife.

So much for Brad's emotional down time. Michelle showed up uninvited. Brad nailed it when he said she's the biggest contributor to his feeling pulled in different directions. Yet he gave her a rose anyway.

Alright, enough about Michelle. There are other girls still around ...

Emily. "She's worth the fight." Good call, Brad.

Chantal. I go back and forth about what I think of her, but I loved their rainy zipline date. Although I do think her "I love you" to Brad at the cocktail party was a little premature.

Britt. I want her to have a chance.

Ashley. I'm okay with her going home soon and I was relieved her airtime was limited tonight.

Shawntel. I like her more and more all of the time.
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Six left. Who do you want Brad to love?

The Bachelor in Vegas

This was my running commentary during the show. I texted a shorter version to Holly while we watched together ... 821 miles apart. You can read my previous ramblings, should you be interested.

Vegas? Really? Seems like "The Bachelor" could do a little better -- more exotic, perhaps. Yes, of course, Michelle is excited to be in "Sin City."

I want Michelle to stop talking. Meanwhile Shawntel is eating and talking about replacing blood with chemicals as an embalmer. And she's still talking ... about draining blood and molding people's faces. And Brad keeps laughing and called her the hottest funeral director he's ever met. Um, Brad, really, how many funeral directors have you met? Much less wanted to date?

Oh, and, hey, producers, I don't care what's coming up later in the episode. I'm watching. I'll see for myself.

Emily. What a girl. Facing her fear of driving. Moving forward from her past. She's brave. "I decided I don't want to bring anything from my past into today." Wise, Emily. Really a story like that is the only thing that will make me want to watch a car drive circles around a track.

And another note for the producers: Ali and Roberto's "The Lion King" Broadway show was way better than this Elvis show with the Ashleys. Just thought I'd offer my opinion, you know, in case the producers wanted it.

I really just get confused which Ashley he's talking to while they were at dinner. And, no, I don't have their last initial memorized. He let the sweet one go and kept the emotional one.

Apparently I could be a therapist. Yes, vulnerability is hard. But it's part of having real relationships. Yes, there are emotions. That happens when people are vulnerable. And, hello, this is a dating show!

Observations from the cocktail party ...

CHANTAL may not be so high on Brad's list any more. He shrugged his shoulders when she said they were in a good place.

ALLI was impressed with his sweet gesture. And, hey, it was sweet.

MARISA. Hmmm ... I didn't really know she was there.

MICHELLE is too aggressive and still talking. "No talking" was the best thing she's said all season. Yet, she's still talking. And stroking Brad's hair.

LISA. Again. Not sure who she is either.

And in the coming weeks: Coasta Rica and South Africa. Much improved. Way better than Vegas. Thank you, producers. But oh the drama. Have I mentioned I liked "The Bachelorette" better?

helicopters and metaphors

[Previous ramblings about "The Bachelor" are here. If you are a sucker for the made-for-TV drama that may or may not make a relationship in the real world, join in the conversation in my comment section.]


I will not talk about Michelle. Or her magically appearing black eye. I will not talk about Michelle because she wants us to.

My observant friend Holly noticed Chantal and Brad got in a yellow helicopter and out of a silver one. Thanks to my DVR, I went back and looked, and it's true! What's up with that, producers? And Holly shared another funny helicopter-related observation during our running, texting commentary:

Chantal thinks she's special because she got picked up in a helicopter. Pretty sure that happens on EVERY episode of "The Bachelor."

Indeed. In fact, it happened again for Miss Black Eye later in this week's episode.

But back to Chantal's date ...

As cheesy as it is, I love the facing-your-fears-together storyline. "When you put yourself out there, a whole new world can be open to you." So true, Chantal. But let's remember, you're on "The Bachelor," so, yes, Brad is bonding with, kissing and planning picnics for other girls. Stop all the crying.

Brad seems to recognize that "The Bachelor" isn't the real world. When he gave Chantal a rose he talked about how he thinks about how their relationship could work in "the real world." Despite her quantity of tears, I think Chantal is around for awhile.

The interruptions are childish and unnecessary. Ashley H. is a vulture. Hey, Ash, you didn't "get" all that one-on-one time on that group date; you stole it, especially from Britt.

Speaking of Britt, she apparently doesn't eat of the food she supposedly writes about. But as a woman trying to win Brad's heart, she's growing on me. In fact, she's moved into my top three with Chantal and Emily.

Dear, Michelle - I know I said I wasn't going to talk about you. But I need to mention this: I thought you said you were here for Brad. You'd do anything for him. So just go down the building with him without the big scene, complete with cursing and threats of puking. Even my husband looked up from the magazine he was reading to shake his head at you and yell, "Fake." Your obnoxious, whiny ways aren't winning you any hearts in my house, so, please, stop talking.

Speaking of talking, Brad's therapist is back. And this comes after the group date involved Dr. Drew. I hope everyone now fully understands they have to truly open up in order to forge ahead with their relationships. Yes, vulnerability is hard, but it's the key to connecting with someone.

And, now, everyone, a collective "Awww ..." Yes, Brad missed Emily. Seems like there is more to come with that relationship next week.
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I know there are other "The Bachelor" addicts out there. Maybe you aren't as public about your addiction as I am, but I know you're reading. So, tell me, who are your top three choices as this point?

ninjas, a therapist and fangs

I drafted this blog while watching "The Bachelor" and texting with Holly and Katie. It's random observations and commentary. Feel free to join in below in the comments section.

I don't sing. So I can sort of imagine how Ashley S. [aka First Impression Rose Winner] was feeling in that recording studio. At least Brad couldn't sing either. They sure seemed to enjoy themselves, and the real Seal singing. And, hello, these rooftop dates on these shows. That's totally something I can go for!

"It says, 'Love hurts,' but what really hurts is being on this group date with all these other women." Yes, Michelle, it's called "The Bachelor." Again, it's a dating show. Get over it. And, no, the ninjas will not kidnap them. And, really, I hope they don't get the chance to "practice making babies."

I think Brad is keeping Chantal around for awhile. I just get that vibe. Perhaps it's her "puffy face." She even makes him stutter.

I missed one of the girls describing Emily as Barbie with the heart of Mother Teresa, but, thankfully, Holly and Katie both texted me about it. Emily remains my favorite, although I was growing a tad impatient with Brad unknowingly leading her into her story about her fiance and daughter and her ignoring the prompts. But she came around.

She worried that Brad wouldn't be OK with her "stuff." But he seemed appreciative that she told him. "It's not stuff. It's you." True, Brad, true.

I could have done without his therapist's appearance, though. He didn't really seem to offer much wisdom. Of course, if you want to get to know people, you have to be vulnerable. Of course, when you let go, it's easier to enjoy the moment. I hope he didn't have to pay for that advice.

Michelle, really stop talking? "Can I have you?" Um, really? Again, really, you're on a dating show. So Brad hugged her on his way inside. And, yes, you are interrupting. Clearly. Brad was talking to another girl. Why must he ditch Chantal for Michelle?

Brad likes that she's playful and direct. But, really, I think that's her just manipulating him. "She can steal me away any night." Oh, dear ...

Madison took out her fangs while telling Brad about how she'd had a bad week. I have an idea: Don't wear the fangs. He may take you more seriously.

I'm with Brad, though. Fang Girl seemed more real when she was walking away.
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My previous Bachelor ramblings are here, if you need to catch up.

tears, too much talking and onion breath

Holly wasn't watching yet, so I couldn't text her. Consider the following what would be my texts to her, plus some running commentary and some unsolicited advice. Oh, and don't read on if you haven't watched this week's episode of "The Bachelor" and plan to without spoilers.


Ashley [the one who got the first impression rose ...] is bitter that the other Ashley got the first date, and a one-on-one date at that. I have some advice that I think every season: Don't go on a dating show on national television if you aren't prepared to compete with other girls. Of course you hope he likes you more than the others. That's the point.

Carnival date. Good choice, Brad. "I feel like I can be myself around her. I like this girl. I like this girl a lot." Yes, Brad, again, that's the point. But slow down. This is just your first date. Then she says, "Can we do it again?" Referring to the kiss. And they kiss. Again.

I do appreciate Brad opening up about his father, the apparent root of his insecurities and truth issues.

And, hey, girls, again. It's a dating show. There will be group dates. That's no secret. Stop whining. And, specifically, Birthday Girl Michelle, let go of the fact that you're celebrating your 30th birthday on a group date with Brad and 14 other girls.

While making public service announcements for the American Red Cross, the group date included a girl who interrupted a scene she wasn't supposed to be in, pity claps, two girls with Brad on the bed, a walk-out-of-the-room drama from Birthday Girl, who actually said, "All I want for my birthday is Brad." Really, Michelle, stop talking.

"I feel like we need to dissect you." Yeah, Michelle, didn't stop talking. And I guess Brad doesn't care because he gave her the rose. And, of course, she kept talking about the rose.

Melissa needs to stop talking too. I'm guessing Raichel -- the manscaper -- would agree.

I don't really remember Jackie from the first night's cocktail party. But I'm liking her. Now, granted, I left the room to put Cate to bed during their pampering part of the date, so maybe I missed something between a room full of dressed and pulling up to the fancy venue that you fellow Bachelor addicts need to share with me.

"Now I'm afraid you're afraid of me." I get that, Jackie. And, really, I appreciate that she hasn't dated 80 men. Brad's concern that she hasn't had more than two relationships doesn't worry me, but he seems to be really caught off guard. Her caution to love shouldn't be a turn off, especially this early in the game.

Um, Train, really?! And playing a great song when they turn around. Super date.

Back at the house. Michelle, who has a rose, in case you forgot, is again monopolizing Brad because she had questions. Um, questions about coffee and what foods he keeps in his fridge. And she had the nerve to tell some other girls that's what she asked.

Oh, Emily. I've missed her this week.

And, wait, where's Fang Girl? I haven't noticed her this week. And, really, that's fine by me. Oh, she got a rose at the rose ceremony. I guess maybe Brad talked to her this week.

Did Raichel really say Jesus loved her and that's why she's going to stay? In all the drama and tears from Michelle, I started tuning out that part of the cocktail party while I was matching socks. Unfortunately, I wasn't watching the show on our TV with the DVR because Greg and some guy friends were watching football, so I couldn't rewind.

And then Michelle broke the crying while talking to Brad for a moment while she talked about onions and pizza. Um, weird and unnecessary.

Anyway ... Brad went to get the bottom of the crying.

But that didn't last long. Then came Ali and Roberto! I guess because they're still in love following their romantic start on "The Bachelorette" they can help Brad detect who is there for the right reasons. Um, yeah, OK. But, wait, they did mention Emily seeming genuine. So, maybe, just maybe, we all know what we're talking about.

Some parting words for a couple of those who didn't get a rose ...

Melissa, I'm really glad you won't be on next week's show. And I'm glad Brad saw through your tears and onion breath.

Raichel, Brad must not like the way you pulled off his wrist hair. Keep your manscaping ways to yourself. Oh, and fighting with Michelle probably didn't help.
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Ali and Roberto gave advice. I've sprinkled advice through this babbling blog. And the girls obviously have opinions, which are bound to translate into advice, eventually. So ... what's your advice? What would you tell Brad or the girls? You know, if you could ...

Team Brad

Confession: I like to watch "The Bachelor."

And, if you really want me to be honest, I am a fan of Brad Womack. Who can blame him for not picking one of the two women left three years ago when he wasn't ready to commit? Yeah, OK, lots of America, apparently. Sure, he should have dealt with his commitment issues before he ever went on the show. But couldn't we all say we should have done this or could have done that first?

So, Brad's back.

And he said he's changed, thanks in part to a brokenness following his letting Jenni and Deanna go. Of course, there were three years of counseling. [His therapist testifying on his behalf in the early part of this week's episode was entertaining to me.]

What kind of world would we live in if people couldn't change?

They can.

Hopefully I can.

And I guess we'll watch and see if Brad changed.

I appreciated the Ashley [of course, there are multiple Ashleys ...] who said everybody has things from their past they wished they had done differently. Amen. But I do understand the hesitations from the women: Is he ready? Is he going to repeat his indecision?

But give the man a chance.
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One of my favorite parts of watching "The Bachelor" [or "The Bachelorette," for that matter ...] is texting my commentary to Holly, which whom I share many interests, including but certainly not limited to Sonic drinks, detailed conversations, talking loudly, writing, playing cards, learning how to better trust God, and, of course, "The Bachelor." We may live hundreds of miles apart, but texting about reality TV brings us closer. Even when we watch on different nights.

While watching the episode that aired Monday night, I had plenty to text Holly. Here are some of my comments [in italics] followed by some additional comments. You know, because it's the most dramatic and controversial season of "The Bachelor." Ever.

"I don't want my package waxed at all." Ha!

Thanks, Raichel, for sharing your career in manscaping on national television. It was truly entertaining. Although I'm not sure Brad could say the same thing.

"I was once broken up with because he was looking for a more petite behind. ... Can you handle this?" Wow. Oh. Wow.

One of the girls totally said that. And where my ellipsis is, she was still talking while getting up and turning her backside to Brad, the guy she was trying to woo. Seriously.

Brad is asking about Madison's teeth! It's funny. "The girl has fangs. If that's her thing, fine. If it's a joke, take them off."

She totally has fangs. And likes vampires. Brad seemed annoyed by the whole thing, but he still mentioned fangs being hot. Um, no, Brad. Let the sweet Southern belle woo you instead.

That would be Emily. She's my favorite. She's Holly's favorite too, in case you were wondering.
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Yes, I think I'll blog each week about the show. I can't promise I'll always watch it on Monday nights, but I can promise I'll watch. And comment. Your turn. Who else out there watches "The Bachelor"? What do you think of Brad returning?