The Bachelor in Vegas

This was my running commentary during the show. I texted a shorter version to Holly while we watched together ... 821 miles apart. You can read my previous ramblings, should you be interested.

Vegas? Really? Seems like "The Bachelor" could do a little better -- more exotic, perhaps. Yes, of course, Michelle is excited to be in "Sin City."

I want Michelle to stop talking. Meanwhile Shawntel is eating and talking about replacing blood with chemicals as an embalmer. And she's still talking ... about draining blood and molding people's faces. And Brad keeps laughing and called her the hottest funeral director he's ever met. Um, Brad, really, how many funeral directors have you met? Much less wanted to date?

Oh, and, hey, producers, I don't care what's coming up later in the episode. I'm watching. I'll see for myself.

Emily. What a girl. Facing her fear of driving. Moving forward from her past. She's brave. "I decided I don't want to bring anything from my past into today." Wise, Emily. Really a story like that is the only thing that will make me want to watch a car drive circles around a track.

And another note for the producers: Ali and Roberto's "The Lion King" Broadway show was way better than this Elvis show with the Ashleys. Just thought I'd offer my opinion, you know, in case the producers wanted it.

I really just get confused which Ashley he's talking to while they were at dinner. And, no, I don't have their last initial memorized. He let the sweet one go and kept the emotional one.

Apparently I could be a therapist. Yes, vulnerability is hard. But it's part of having real relationships. Yes, there are emotions. That happens when people are vulnerable. And, hello, this is a dating show!

Observations from the cocktail party ...

CHANTAL may not be so high on Brad's list any more. He shrugged his shoulders when she said they were in a good place.

ALLI was impressed with his sweet gesture. And, hey, it was sweet.

MARISA. Hmmm ... I didn't really know she was there.

MICHELLE is too aggressive and still talking. "No talking" was the best thing she's said all season. Yet, she's still talking. And stroking Brad's hair.

LISA. Again. Not sure who she is either.

And in the coming weeks: Coasta Rica and South Africa. Much improved. Way better than Vegas. Thank you, producers. But oh the drama. Have I mentioned I liked "The Bachelorette" better?