Friday, stop acting like Monday.

Hey, Friday, you’re acting too much like a Monday. Come on, you’re better than that.

Let’s back up, Thursday night was so much fun. We gathered with hundreds of other Murray State fans to watch the NBA Draft on the big screen at the basketball arena BECAUSE OUR BOY CAM PAYNE WAS THE 14TH PICK. Y’all we love our mid-major team (is that still a thing?) and, admittedly, were a little sad when Cam declared he was leaving after his sophomore year.

But it was so fun to celebrate his success and see our alma mater’s name. I read articles and posts on social media all evening while Greg and I finished season five of “One Tree Hill.” (Let’s not talk about how I almost asked Google who Lucas called. I’m going to find out tonight. I want it to be Peyton. But I think it’ll be Brooke. And I’m not sure how Lindsey fits in.)

So I woke up this morning excited it was Friday. As a stay-at-home mom, especially in the summer, I’m not sure why Fridays are different than other days, but they still feel different, like the door to the weekend is cracking open.

Plus I still had this once-a-reporter-always-a-reporter adrenaline in me as I read more articles and tweets this morning about Cam being a lottery pick for the Oklahoma City Thunder. THIS MORNING AFTER EVERYONE SLEPT UNTIL 7:30! It’s like a miracle with Ben, who actually slept until 8. Happy Friday to me.

And then reality reminded me that I should call the pediatrician first thing. Ben had been peeing excessively. I laid in bed last night and made a plan to call and get a professional’s opinion. Part of me chalked it up to an easily distracted 5-year-old boy with a short attention span. Like he doesn’t want to stop playing to go to the bathroom. BUT there have been daytime and nighttime accidents. And frequent trips to the bathroom. And then accidents not long after he just went.

He and I were both frustrated, so I swallowed my momma pride and called the pediatrician. And the nurse didn’t think I was crazy mom and wanted me to bring him in. Appointment made.

And then Cate woke up, running a fever, coughing and talking about her congestion. She was like this on Wednesday – but I figured she was worn down from church camp earlier in the week. Thursday she seemed like herself. But now here on Friday she was puffy-eyed and lethargic again.

So I called the pediatrician again. I talked to a different nurse, but she also trusted my momma instincts and added Cate to the appointment I already had.

Not much later, Ben showed me his toes. Earlier in the week, there were a couple red spots that he said itched. So I gave him some anti-itch cream. Seems reasonable, right? Well, today those innocent red spots were blistery. His toes were swollen and the blisters increased and multiplied throughout the day.

I didn’t bother calling the pediatrician a third time. I just added it to our list of things to discuss during the appointment.

I haven’t even told you about how I rushed my lethargic, ailing kids out the door to meet the locksmith at the lake house at 10 a.m. The lake house is about 25 minutes from our house, so at 9:30 I herded my two cats … er, kids … out the door, promising they could watch a movie when we got there.

At 9:50, the locksmith called and said he needed to reschedule. Except I didn’t have a cell phone signal at that point so I got the voice mail when I got the lake house. I called the locksmith back from the landline inside (yep, those still exist). I wasn’t available to meet him when he wanted to meet me, so I volunteered to bring him the keypad lock, some other knobs that needed to be installed and keyed, a key to our house, and instructions on what we needed done. Because, sorry, ailing kids trumps locksmith ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DIDN’T SHOW UP WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO.
Anyway.

All this and we returned home by 10:30 a.m., where the kids settled in for some episodes of Super Mario Bros. before lunch.

Turns out, despite Cate’s complaints of a sore throat and congested head, Ben is actually the one with strep. Yep, excessive peeing is a symptom, and I knew that, but I was in denial. I had high hopes that his tonsillectomy would drastically cut down on the strep diagnosis for him. Oh, and that’s poison ivy between his toes. And Cate just has a virus.

They kids pestered each other so much and interrupted me with their tattle-telling while I was trying to talk the pharmacist that I sent them to their rooms when we got home. They both promptly fell asleep – y’all it was almost spooky because these two just don’t nap these days – and I contemplated the bacon-wrapped, cheese infused hot dogs we’re going to eat for dinner. Then it’s family movie night with “Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken,” kettle corn, and Reese’s Pieces.

Because Happy Friday to me.

And, really, Friday, stop acting like Monday. You have some hours left to redeem yourself.
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Goodbye, tonsils.

“Open eyes! Open eyes!” my boy groggily yelled as he was waking up from the anesthesia required for the tonsillectomy. It’s like he knew what he was supposed to do, but he didn’t have the control or wherewithal to do it.

He eventually woke up and started behaving like a quieter version of himself. We forced him to sip on apple juice and then he asked if he could watch TV. And then he asked if we could go home, where he had two gifts of things to do while sitting awaiting him.

Although there was an unexpected surprise just after Ben was called from the waiting area to get ready for the tonsillectomy: He was the model for a new wagon the surgery department has to take kids back for procedures. I signed a release and the hospital marketing lady snapped pictures as the nurse wheeled him down the hallway.

Of course, that was just the photo shoot. His actual surgery came later – and went well.

My boy had his tonsils and adenoids removed. The ENT also removed the ear tubes that were on their way out while he was in there. I’m hoping this is the last procedure for Ben for a while.

In January 2014, he was diagnosed as being allergic to trees, grass, weeds, and dust mites. He started allergy shots for that later that same month. Related, he got ear tubes in February 2014. All of that has helped him tremendously.

But since April 2014, he’s had strep throat seven times – and of those five times since Christmas, specifically. He’s had a history of strep other years too, but not has frequently as the past year.

So the tonsils needed to go and ENT recommended taking the adenoids while he was in there.

I’ve been on board with this plan since before we even went to an appointment with the ENT earlier this month. My biggest concern is keeping him from running or climbing or jumping for at least a couple weeks.

Today he doesn’t feel great – his throat is sore and he doesn’t want to use his voice much. But he’s not complaining. He’s resting on the couch, watching movies, eating Popsicles, and obliging me with my many requests that he take a sip of apple juice.

And you know I’m sympathetic because I made animal-shaped Jell-o Jigglers with a mold I’ve almost tossed so many times. I had to read the instructions because I couldn’t remember how to make Jell-o, much less Jigglers.

But I imagine he’ll want to run around sooner than the doctor wants him to – which, really, is to be expected while mothering a boy.
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Joy to the World (Vol. 3)

Happy weekend, friends!

Today I've officially known Greg half of my life. We met 17 years ago through a mutual acquaintance and then went on a date the next week, on Valentine's Day. Ah, how romantic! I suppose, but, really it was about logistics of going on a date the next Saturday. It was my freshman year of college people, I wasn't looking for marriage. My how time flies ... and most of it's been fun! 

Life with Greg also been a bunch of real life that looks nothing like I expected. I mean that in a nice way. Really, that's the theme of my life ... 

We had a little blimp in our normal routine this weekend when both kids came home from school at lunchtime Wednesday with fevers. Cate also complained of her throat and stomach hurting, so I ended up taking them to the pediatricians' office to get swabbed for strep. Positive!

This was Ben's fifth strep diagnosis since late April 2014 and third since Christmas. It's Cate's second time in less than a month. Talking about health and medicine always prompts a good Facebook thread ... 

But they're better now. Hopefully for good. Or at least the rest of this winter.

Meanwhile, I've been posting things I'm loving over at Instagram, so I'd love to have you connect with me there. Here are some snapshots of #choosingJOY the past couple of weeks ::

1. "Experiencing Joy" by Jeannie Cunnion :: Joy seems to be a theme on the internet right now. At first I thought, well, isn't my focus this year cliche? And then I realized it just means there are that many more resources out there. Like this article.

"What produces JOY is first remembering the good news of God’s grace and then letting it flow through us to one another." {Jeannie Cunnion}

2. Extra! Extra! board game :: Even though I haven't played this game yet, it's making my list. Here's the back story: Greg and I have played Settlers of Catan regularly with our best friends since February 2007. In May 2007, we started an perpetual scoreboard that we still tally wins. We sit in the same order around the table.

I haven't been wanting a new game. I'm still happily addicted to Settlers of Catan, but then I read about this one. By the makers of Settlers! Before I was a mom, I was a reporter. So, yeah, this game seems perfect for me.

3. Road trips with friends that involve stops at good restaurants and our favorite college basketball team :: This has happened once with our friends the Gachokas. And it's happening again today and next Saturday. I love basketball season. And my friends.

4. Sharing my story at other websites :: Yesterday I has posts at both places I regularly contribute – God-sized Dreams website and Circles of Faith. The GSD post is about marriage and how I've known Greg half my life {officially, today is 17 years!} and at COF I'm sharing another excerpt from my book that talks about how God hears the desires of our heart. I'd love for you to join me at both places.

5. Reading a new cookbook like a novel :: I've been lacking meal planning inspiration. So I resubscribed to eMeals and ordered a new cookbook, recommended by my friend Kayse Pratt. I spent an hour Thursday reading "Dashing Dish" by Katie Farrell.

6. From my #choosingJOY list on my iPhone :: 63. Walking in the morning. 64. My time with Ben during the day and him saying, "We have a busy day, you and me." ... 67. LeeAnn Willet bringing me JOY stickers at a Racers game. 68. A meal with so few carbs {tilapia, green beans, salad, blackberries} I barely have to take insulin.

How have you been #choosingJOY lately? {Tweet that.}
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Read other JOY-related posts and Joy to the World (Vol. 1) and (Vol. 2).

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Joy the World (Vol. 1)

My kids are sick. Again. I thought we quit sickness, but apparently it didn't quit us, despite the essential oils I've been slathering on my kids right after they take vitamins. Just another reminder that I'm not actually in control. Of course ... 

Greg and I stayed up late last night watching an episode of "Blue Bloods" after we'd been out at a Murray State basketball game while my kids were sleeping in their beds and our college friend Amber watched Netflix and read a textbook on our course. I told her it would be the easiest babysitting job, ever.

I should have known when I stayed up later than usual that I'd also be up more than usual throughout the night. My kids are sleepers. Really, they always have been. Perhaps I'm spoiled, but we all like our sleep around here.

About 12 minutes after I'd fallen asleep, Ben was suddenly standing beside my bed. "My head hurts. It hurts to swallow my germs." Even in my grogginess, I could interpret his 5-year-old boy speak: His fever was back up and his throat hurt.

So I gave him another dose of ibuprofen and wrote down the time, temperature, and medicine. I have to do that when I have one sick because I can't always remember what time I did what. But this time I have two pieces of paper on the kitchen counter. Alternating Tylenol and ibuprofen with two sick kids is a momma's version of math.

Anyway, all of this to say, I was laying in bed last night after I got up the first time (Yes, there were other times ...) and I had an idea. I know, sometimes middle-of-the-night ideas aren't good ones. But it still seemed like a good idea this morning, so I'm going with it. We shall see how it goes.

As I'm choosing joy in everyday life, I thought it would be fun to share (perhaps weekly? monthly? randomly?) things I've read or heard or watched that bring me joy. Now, I realize joy comes from the Maker of all things in this earth when we decide to let go and realize moments matter. But I also know choosing joy can be helped along by a blog post, song, movie, or conversation with a friend.

So I want to share. And I hope you will too.

1. The Packers of Catan :: You may know we're obsessed with the Settlers of Catan board game. We have an ongoing scoreboard with our best friends that's we've been tallying wins on since May 2007. We have other friends who play too, so we're glad there's an expansion version. Apparently the Green Bay Packers agree with us. This article just made my husband and I smile.


2. "Sugar" by Maroon 5 :: This video has been circulating on social media. And I've watched it more than once. I like it that much. If you haven't seen it, go watch now. And you can thank me later.

3. Kristin Strong's words about blogging trends :: I realize some of you don't care about blogging trends. Actually, I don't either. In the new year, there have been many articles and posts and tweets about the best practices of blogging. Honestly? They annoy me. Sure, I want people to read my blog, but I also like what's happening here at my little corner of the big 'ole internet. So Kristen's words were refreshing for me. She has a way of doing that.

4. I'm keeping a list of #choosingJOY moments on my phone, like people count gifts, so I thought I could share a few of those too ...

#22 French toast for dinner // #23 Ben building with LEGOs // #24 Reading fiction because it's like a vacation right in the middle of everyday life (It was "Shoot the Moon" by Billie Letts this week.) // #25 Greg coming home for lunch and cooking me a fried egg for a sandwich because I wanted something warm

Your turn. Anything to share from your own #choosingJOY this week?
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I'm linking this post with Jen Ferguson for the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

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4 Things I Learned in December

I know it's cliche, but I can't believe 2014 is basically finished. The harder I try to slow down and be in the moment, the faster time seems to go. December was full of Christmas, college basketball, and sickness for us. We love being with our favorite people and soaking in the season.

We simplified our schedule and the amount of presents bought this year, and those were welcomed changes. We held on to our favorite traditions and took life one day at a time, which mostly involved wondering if Cate was going to have a fever again and when Ben was going to have his turn being sick.

Before December ends and I have to remember to write 2015, I want to reflect on the month. Here are four things I learned this month ...

1. Amazon Prime Pantry will keep me from having to go to Walmart. I discovered the service on accident when I searched for Qtips on Amazon, thinking they would be an add-on item I could put in my cart for my next order. Turns out Qtips are part of the Prime Pantry! I got so excited I started a conversation on Facebook about it. Turns out I wasn't alone in my excitement.

The excitement continued with 76 trash bags, 185 Qtips for kids, 500 regular Qtips, 18 ounces of body wash, 100 Ziploc sandwich bags, 6 rolls of paper towels, 36 rolls of toilet paper, 70 Tide pods, 16 ounces of angel hair pasta, 2 bags of animal crackers, and 32 ounces of ketchup showed up on my front porch.

While adding products to my Prime Pantry box, Amazon tracks how much of the box is filled. What percentage of the box an item will fill is indicated as I shopped.

The prices were similar or cheaper than what I usually pay. Plus the convenience is worth something, trust me! Amazon also had a promotion that day that included free shipping (which is usually $5.99) and coupons worth $3.63 that applied to my order. The coupons and free shipping were automatically applied and shown as discounts at the check-out page.

2. Rend Collective's Christmas album may be my favorite ... ever. It's been on repeat around here and is tempting me to stay in the rotation after Christmas.

3. Make-up school work is no fun but a slow start to the month was sweet. 

Cate started the month with almost three weeks of sickness. Walking pneumonia then a virus with a high fever. There were inhalers and much ibuprofen. And there were slower moments than I expected to start this month.

Specifically, she missed six full days and two half days of the 15 school days between Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. We went to the pediatricians' office four times. She had two finger-prick blood draws and another from her vein in the out-patient lab. And there was a chest x-ray.

And then momma Googled too much and temporarily became a hypochondriac.

Cate was fever free the week of Christmas. Praise God! And then Ben started running a fever the day after Christmas and was diagnosed with strep throat on Friday and flu A on Monday.

I'm thinking about asking Murray Pediatrics if we can get a frequent patient punch card ... 

4. Ben made it to his maintenance allergy shot doses. So now it's once a week for those two shots. We had been doing twice a week for almost 11 months so this is a welcomed change. Of course, he hasn't had an allergy shot in more than a week with Christmas and now sickness.

How was your December? Did you learn anything worth sharing? I'd love to hear about it in the comments.
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I'm linking up with Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky, who inspired me to document life this way. I love these monthly posts. Read previous posts: {From 2013} June. July. August. September. October. November. {From 2014} January. February. March. April. May. June. July. August. September. October. November. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

On sickness, colored lights & miracles

My girl has had a fever for seven out of the last eight days. 

She started running a fever when we got home from Nashville. It wasn’t surprised because that’s what being around a bunch of cousins always does! I ended up taking her to the doctor the next day because THREE of the said cousins had strep throat.

Turns out, Cate did not have strep throat. She had walking pneumonia. I would have preferred strep, but, hey, I don’t get to choose these things. So the treatment plan was azithromycin, ibuprofen, and albuterol. Wednesday morning she seemed to go to school, and that’s what the nurse practitioner had indicated would probably be the case. She said to call back if she was still running a fever on Wednesday.

On Thursday while I was with Greg at a holiday lunch at our local crisis pregnancy center that we support, the lady from the school office called to tell us Cate wasn’t feeling well. I went to pick her about two hours early and learned she had a fever again.

For as long as she’s been talking, Cate’s always said her eyes hurt when she has a fever. Sure enough, her eyes were hurting again Thursday.

And they’ve basically hurt since. The fever has come down when there’s ibuprofen in her system, but when that wears off, it’s been getting up to 102 regularly and even 104 on Friday night. We did go back to the doctor on Thursday – you know, because we were supposed to call. Flu and strep tests were negative, thankfully, but blood work revealed something viral going on.

So while recovering from walking pneumonia, Cate also picked up a virus of some sort.

Part of me says, “Well, ‘tis the season for all these germs.” But the other part of me is remembering October, when she also had a virus that prompted a high fever and kept her home from school for days. Enough is enough.

This weekend was pretty much all about Christmas – and I hated that Cate had to miss out. She got a little sad Saturday morning when she realized she was going to miss out, but I couldn’t blame her because I was a little sad myself. And, y’all, she’s been the best patient possible while rotting her brain on continuous episodes of “My Little Pony.”

I took Ben to the local Christmas parade, where we met up with some cousins and friends. And then we all went with our friends the Goodriches for our fourth annual tree hunt. It’s become a family favorite tradition – and the Goodriches didn’t care Cate had a slight fever. Plus, it was as low as it had been for as long as it been … until it decided to spike back up yesterday evening. She did get some one-on-one time with Gran-Gran while Greg, Ben and I went to watch our Murray State Racers beat in-state rival Western Kentucky.

Back to the tree ... Last year our tree was so big we had to keep trimming it so it would fit in our living room. It was wild and crazy. I loved it. But, you know, I love our tree this year too. Cate picked it out, which is likely the highlight of her sickly week. It’s a smaller tree, more like Charlie Brown’s and less like the Griswold’s, and will forever be remembered as the EASIEST TREE I’VE EVER PUT UP IN ALL MY LIFE. Y’all, that’s quite a title, but it’s true. It’s little branches can’t even hold all of our ornaments, so we chose to leave the heavy ones off.

Although I did for an instant wish we had white lights – which we did at some point. But Christmas lights don’t last forever. In fact, I threw away a strand today. I can’t deal with those tiny bulbs that go out and kill the whole strands. Last year, that big tree I mentioned required Greg to make a run to Big Lots to get some extra lights.

Anyway, our tree is pretty. And it fits right in with this less-is-more idea God keeps putting on my heart this Christmas season. I’m going to elaborate on that another day.

{Read about our tree hunts from 2011, 2012, and 2013.}

Meanwhile, I just keep praying Ben stays well. It’s a miracle, really, he hasn’t picked up anything yet. He had strep in October, but otherwise has managed to stay healthy. I realize I probably shouldn’t speak that aloud, but, hey, I’m craving conversation.

I say that like I haven’t enjoyed all this time at home. But, really, I have. I’ve purged, organized, cleaned, stuffed and addressed Christmas letters, scrapbooked, and read.

Side note: In eight days starting with Thanksgiving, I read FOUR FICTION BOOKS. Along with Ben staying well, it’s a miracle. I devoured the series by Dani Pettrey and pretty much want to hang out with her main characters, the McKennas now. Of course, they live in Alaska, which I’m not sure I can handle right now. You know, all that literal darkness and coldness. And there are probably more germs I don’t need to be around.
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Living with diabetes

I’ve spent much of this month writing and sharing about adoption around here. But I recently learned November is also National Diabetes Awareness Month. 

For the past decade, I’ve been injecting insulin since my Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis. I was going on 25 and settling into what would become our hometown not even two years into marriage when my doctor – who I met for the first time that day – told me my pancreas wasn’t producing insulin. I needed to be hospitalized to get my 500-something blood sugar down and have a crash course on drawing insulin into syringes, injecting said insulin, monitoring my blood sugar levels, and counting carbohydrates. Every bit of this was new to me.

{Read more about my diagnosis and treatment since in a post from earlier this year.}

I barely read nutrition levels before I spent three days in the hospital learning the basics of diabetes while discovering feeling better – energized, rested – really was possible. I didn’t know I felt so bad until I started feeling good again.

I was scared to leave the hospital. I was scared to manage this disease. I was worried about food choices and insulin intake. I felt burdened by these new responsibilities. But I just did it. The fear drove me to learn and manage and cope.

Thankfully, diabetes doesn’t scare me anymore. Sometimes I think I’ve actually become too comfortable.

I don’t inject insulin with syringes anymore. I wear an insulin pump that mimics a working pancreas. It’s programmed with ratios and formulas that actually give me more freedom – something I was suspicious of before I had a pager-sized device in my pocket or waist band nearly all of the time.

I’ve learned more since January 2004 than I ever did in a high school or college science class. I’ve had doctors care for me in the medical and intellectual ways I needed to move forward and manage this chronic condition in ways I would never be able to do alone. I’ve learned when to best exercise and can nearly always guess at my blood sugar level based on how I feel.

Like anything in life, there’s still room to learn more and do even better caring for myself. So that’s what I’m thinking about this month.
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To Nap or Not To Nap?

My mom has told me I was a terrible at taking naps when I was a toddler.

Turns out, nothing has really changed.

Really, I bet the total naps since Cate was born more than seven years ago is less than 10. No wonder I didn’t like middle-of-the-night feedings with my babies. Speaking of babies, that’s me and newborn Cate in the picture above when we were still hanging out in the hotel room in Indiana waiting for the clearance from state adoption officials to head home to Kentucky.

Back to the subject at hand, I still get so restless when I even think about taking a nap.

Take today for instance: I didn’t sleep well from 3 to 4 o’clock this morning – although that shouldn’t be classified as morning – so I’ve been dragging today. Starting last night, I’ve been congested and achy. I went to sleep fine, but then was hot and restless when I woke up well before the sun came up. I read some on my phone and then moved to the couch to finish up sleeping until 6:45 a.m., which is a more respectable morning time. I woke up with a headache, congested nose, itchy throat, and tired eyes.

I had a busy morning of tending to work responsibilities for the two lake houses I manage and ran a couple other errands while my kids were both at school. I really prefer to be home when my kids are at school because they really are pretty good errand-running assistants and I can be oh-so productive at home when they’re not here – think writing, reading, doing laundry, cleaning the house, and organizing. But that just wasn’t going to happen this morning.

So I started thinking about napping. I figured Wednesday was a good day to try it. Cate gets out of school early on Wednesdays, so it gives us more time at home in the afternoons. I had a good plan: The kids could rest in their rooms and then watch a movie while I napped.

Well, they rested. Quietly. Exactly to the 2:30 p.m. time I designated.

And I laid in my bed, totally restless and wondering why I thought napping was a good idea. Being in bed in the middle of the day makes me think of everything possible I would rather be doing with my time: Reading. Writing. Blogging. Scrapbooking. Digging into “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore. Reading more of “Moment Maker” by Carlos Whittaker.

So I watched two episodes of “Private Practice” on Netflix on my Kindle Fire and mostly ignored my phone. That’s like resting, right? Yes indeed, especially for the mom who rarely ever turns the TV on for herself during the day.

Call it a mental nap. But it’s the best napping I have in me.

Even when I’m sickly.

And, yes, I pretty much drafted this blog post in my head while watching Addison Montgomery and company. Hey, it’s more restful than making the grocery list I need to make or sweeping the crumb-filled floor under the kitchen table.

Do you take regular naps? How about when you’re sick?
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On Real Life :: A Peek Into My Week

Standing in our lake house kitchen last weekend, I was talking to my friends Katie and Aaron when I noticed one set of cabinets was coming apart from the others, creating a gap where there wasn’t a gap earlier in the week. We kept talking, catching up because we don’t see each other more than once or maybe twice a year.

And then I wondered if the cabinets were going to fall. Such a thought interrupted a good conversation.

Greg and Aaron came back to our house that evening and retrieved some tools. They ended up securing the cabinets enough that we didn’t have to worry if they were going to fall on one of the five children 4 ½ years and younger who ran through the kitchen countless times as us adults continued catching up. Then Greg called his professional handyman Monday morning.

Slanted cabinets aren’t a big deal, but they require attention that we hadn’t planned on giving them.
And such as been my week.

Cate’s adenoidectomy – that’s a fancy word for a surgery to remove her adenoids – has been on the calendar for Wednesday morning for a month. So, of course, I wasn’t surprised when Ben woke up with a splotchy, red, swollen face Tuesday morning.

Thankfully, we only live three blocks from the local Medical Arts Building that’s attached to the hospital because I was there first thing Tuesday morning to sign some papers for Cate’s procedure 24 hours later and then went back about an hour later so Ben could get an oral steroid prescription to dry up his poison ivy that was nearing his right eye. And, yes, he had it on one other body part I probably shouldn’t discuss on a public blog.

His favorite nurses tried to teach him about poison ivy. “Leaves of three, let them be,” they said. They demonstrated with their fingers what poison ivy looks like. I showed him pictures on my phone. He listened and later repeated his own version: “Leave of three, don’t touch ‘em!”

Well, yes.

Of course, this is his second bout of poison ivy in the latter part of summer. And, no, I’m not surprised. He’s a boy who loves the outdoors – and is officially allergic to trees, weeds, and grass already. He takes allergy shots for those and apparently the occasional oral steroid for those leaves of three.

At least this time the steroid didn’t make him nuts, although I do think it’s interrupted his sleep. The nights run together, but I’ve lost count of how many nights he’s come into our bedroom while it’s still dark out because his nose was bleeding, he was restless, he wanted to check to see if Daddy had left for work yet, he wet the bed, or he thought it was an acceptable hour to start the day.

I don’t wish surgery of any kind on anyone ever, but the ENT removed “a big mess of adenoids” and in doing so she should be able to breathe better and be congested less. So that’s good news.

She was anxious going in, but she was brave. She came out of the anesthesia well. Even with a still-scratchy voice when the nurse wheeled her bed back to the room where we waited, Cate wanted to tell the nurse how she was going to eat chocolate pudding her friends Noah and Emma brought her.

We were home from the hospital by 9:30 a.m., so my girl and I spent the rest of the entire day at home. That part was especially glorious – right up there with the goodness that was the cinnamon roll Greg brought me for breakfast once Cate was back for surgery.

Silver lining, people.

She would tell you the silver lining of surgery involves treats and presents from friends. We’re dearly loved, that’s for sure. Plus Cate is well stocked in coloring supplies, new reading material, and treats. The texts, visits, and Facebook were more than social noise; they were reminders of community.

Her recovery is going well. Her throat is a little sore, but she returned to school the next day with only limitations at recess and gym class so none of her classmates would accidentally hit her sore throat and slow her recovery.

I’m grateful for health insurance because we’ve milked our plan for more procedures and appointments that would have seemed possible or necessary when this year started. I’m grateful to end the week with an Cracker Barrel breakfast with college friends this morning while the kids were in school. I’m grateful the no two days are ever the same.

Of course, not long after I published this post, I took Ben to get his twice-weekly allergy shots and when the nurse hoisted him up the table, she and I both noticed new patches of poison ivy on his ears, neck, arms, and legs. So much allergy shots. How about a steroid shot instead? Yep. 

And, yes, I’m grateful for normal life. Of course, by normal life I mean the one with sometimes slanted cabinets, conversations shared over all the other noises in life, and poison ivy that approaches a boy’s eye.
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Hello, sweet, sweet summer ...

These strawberries we picked with our hands taste like summer, even more so than the ones we bought at Walmart and Kroger the past few weeks. These strawberries have become a May tradition for my kids and me – along with friends – at The Berry Farm. So, yes, I taste community in them too.

We picked them Wednesday afternoon, taking advantage of the 85-degree sunshine that coincided with my daughter’s early dismissal school day. Courtney and I talked as we moved slowly through the rows of strawberries sprouting out of raised beds beneath plastic tarps. The kids moved faster, up and down dirt rows, then up a mound of dirt, then across the driveway to pet the dogs. It’s the fourth year my kids and I have gone with friends to pick these berries. I do think they get sweeter each time.

{See posts from 2011. 2012. 2012, again. 2013.}

Summer seems to be like that too. This favorite season of ours goes fast but we gobble it up as we go along. We swim and lunch and relax and read and vacation and catch up and slow down and make plans and play and work. And, you know, these summers are sweeter now that my girl is finished with first grade and we get a break in our routine that is built around the school calendar.

We’ll be consuming more summer foods like pasta salad, broccoli salad, and grilled burgers and kabobs when we hang out with my family at the lake this weekend. There’s likely to be swimming and boating and fishing too. And not just this weekend, but throughout the summer.

The strawberries are gone. We ate them with all three meals the past couple of days and I used the remaining few quarts to make a new-to-me strawberry cream cheese cobbler. I texted Greg a picture of the end result and suggested he come home for lunch so we could eat it together.

My girl and I kind of limped into summer.

The end-of-the-year projects and responsibilities were wearing on me, but I pressed through because I do believe we should finish what we start and do our best. I took store-bought cookies and a vegetable tray to the year-end program last night instead of the homemade appetizer and dessert I had considered making. These moments are good lessons in letting go for me and opportunities to talk to my girl about how we’re preapproved.

And speaking of my girl, this spring has been hard on her respiratory system and sinuses. She’s been to the pediatrician four times since April 2. I was jotting down yesterday’s visit in her baby book when I noticed she’d these four pediatrician visits on the sick side of the waiting room are equal to the number of times she went in for sickness all of 2012 and 2013 combined. Crazy, huh?

Yesterday’s visit was prompted by a 102.1 fever the night before her year-end program. Because sinus infections aren't really contagious and her fever had been gone since around 10 a.m., we went on to the program. I would have had a broken-hearted girl had the doctor encouraged us to stay home. We went. She said her lines and sang songs. We socialized and reminisced with school friends.

The school year came to an unexpected halt when she woke up this morning with a 103.2 fever. There was a time not so long ago in my life I would have been so frustrated that my girl had to miss the last two days of her first-grade year. And, yes, I'm frustrated today, but it's for her and not that I've failed as a mom in some way over which I actually have no control.

So, hello, Summer. We’re limping into to the break, but we’re so glad to be here – where sweet food and even sweeter community abound and hopefully sinus infections are fewer.

What do you love about summer?
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Here's a review of my friend Cathy Baker's book "A to Z Summer Fun: Ideas to Inspire Family Fun" if you need such inspiration. 

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Six Things I Learned in April

I sat with a friend celebrating my birthday a few days early at the same restaurant we met for lunch in late January for her birthday. I couldn't believe it had been three months. Where are you going, 2014? Slow down. Pretty please? Although, yes, I'm glad May is coming. It's my favorite.

1. Sometimes it's OK to let a book sit. 

I've had "Restless" by Jennie Allen sitting here for awhile. And then she said something on an (in)courage video last week that prompted me to pick up her book. Oh, I'm so glad I did. And I'm glad I'm reading it now and not two months ago when it first arrived in the mail.

There are many good books out there, but we can't read them all right when we discover them. And that's OK. On the heels of "Love Idol" by Jennifer Dukes Lee and "Chasing God" by Angie Smith, my heart is ready for "Restless." I don't know why I continue to be surprised God is in the details.

2. Mothers react to their children in ways nobody does.

My son had a hacking cough that turned out to be bronchitis. The day before the diagnosis, we were eating out at a restaurant with my mom when Ben threw up everything he'd eaten. First he puked in his basket with leftover corn dog and corn on the cob. Not wanting to disgust the people around us, I started walking him toward the bathroom. Of course, we didn't make it. He puked again.

And I caught it.

Seriously. 

Nobody told me about this part of motherhood. I'm almost seven years in, and I decided it would be a good idea to catch my son's puke. So I carried him and the puke to the bathroom, where he puked more in the toilet and I washed my hands. Twice.

Yes, this needs to be noted as his first puking episode ever. At least there is a story to go along with it.

3. Strep has the strangest symptoms.

In another strange diagnosis stories about two weeks after the bronchitis episode, I took Ben back to the pediatrician because he had spent the week peeing excessively. I realize that borders on too much information being shared, but, hey, that's sometimes what you get a momma's blog. Anyway, I was convinced he had an urinary tract infection. Or perhaps I was just hoping for an explanation for why he peed 16 times in 12 hours on a Tuesday.

Well, by Thursday, I learned excessive peeing is a symptom of strep. Really. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Turns out, Ben didn't have a urinary tract infection, but he did have strep throat with no other symptoms beyond lots of pee.

And, thing is, I've had plenty of prior experiences with strep, even with strange symptoms. Impetigo. Two cases with just one fever. A sore throat and an unobservant mom. Lessons from a high fever. Impetigo, again. Still, this is a new one. Add excessive peeing to the list.

Of course, I was watching my friend's kid that day and toted her to the doctor's office with us. Hopefully Ben didn't share his strep germs. Always an adventure, I tell you.

4. The pollen count is high around here. 

I have no scientific measurement. Just the aforementioned bronchitis and strep stories as well as Cate's sinus infection and pneumonia. All this month. Come on May ...

5. Jesus is still risen even if we don't do everything we plan.

We read {almost} nightly from "The Jesus Storybook Bible" the week leading up to Easter. We had multiple conversations about why Easter mattered. Cate her a guest speaker portraying a disciple at school and Ben made resurrection rolls with his class.

We still haven't talked through the Easter story using resurrection eggs or their meaningful Easter basket of candy that tells the story in chocolate money, rock candy, jelly beans and a chocolate cross. It's all still sitting on the counter. Easter still matters.

6. Needtobreathe's new album is really good. 

I especially love "The Heart" and "Multiplied." Here's a video of their performance on David Letterman. No, I didn't stay up late enough to watch it. Isn't that the beauty of the Internet?

How's your April been? What did you learn?
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I love these month-end posts prompted by Emily at Chatting at the Sky. Here are previous month's recaps from 2013: June. July. August. September. October. November. And from 2014: January. February. March. Affiliate links included.

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Ten Things I Learned in March

1. Being sick as a mom may mean enduring more than laying on the couch.

I woke up with a stomach bug when we were in Nashville, Tenn., the second weekend of the month. Puking in hotel and mall bathrooms is no fun. I know, the mall. I was only at the mall because that's where Rainforest Cafe is and my son had been talking about going there for AN ENTIRE YEAR. Seriously, since last time we went. So I couldn't back out on him ... or our table of 18. Really. One table of seven kids 10 to 2 years old and another table of 10 adults and a baby.

No worries, the tables were right next to each other and other adults paid attention to my two kids while I laid my head on the table between gulps of Sprite Zero and water. My brother-in-law told me wanting to drink anything was progress. Maybe he was right because I didn't throw up any more that day, of course, I didn't eat anything either.

We then avoided the Lego, Disney, Build-a-Bear and Bass Pro Shop stores so I could return home to my couch, where a sick momma truly belongs. Thank God for my husband and my friend Holly who was visiting from Texas who picked up my parenting slack.

2. An entire week of snow days is welcomed, but then that next Monday morning that comes right after the time change is hard. 

On March 10, I had to wake my 4-year-old Ben up for preschool for the first time ever, I think. Of course, that was also the first day in March school had been in session, thanks to two weekends and a snow week.

Oh, and, hey, did I mention that Monday reached 65 degrees and the kids got to play outside after school? Yes. And all the mommas rejoiced.

3. A friend who gives my daughter the gift of words blesses me. 

Speaking of Holly visiting from Texas, she brought my girl some books from her childhood. Those were in addition to the ones she mailed the week before she came. And then she taught her how to play Words with Friends. What sweet gifts of encouraging a love of words, which Holly and I share and are happy to pass along to Cate.

4. I really like to read non-fiction, but fiction is a good way to let my mind relax.

I recently finished "Love Idol" by Jennifer Dukes Lee. It's a book that allowed me to see some truths God has been trying to teach me in recent years in a new way. It's truly been a life-changing journey and that book has been a valuable resource. I finished the book several days ago and I'm still thinking about it. Meanwhile, I started reading Harlan Coben's new book, "Missing You." Nothing like a little suspense to balance all the internal processing.

I also recommend another book I read this month: "Surprised by Motherhood" by Lisa-Jo Baker. It officially releases on April 1. You can read my review here.

5. Dads have good parenting stories too.

In a momma-dominated blogging world, it was refreshing to have dads guest post on my blog earlier this month. In an continuing effort to embrace imperfection, I've loved digesting "No More Perfect Kids" by Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch. In conjunction with their book release week, I had some dads come share their own stories of realizing their kids aren't perfect and never will be. {Oh, yes, consider that another book recommendation for you!}

6. Those postseason college basketball tournaments that aren't the NCAA Tournament can be fun if my favorite team is playing. 

Murray State is in the semi-final round of the CollegeInsider.com Postseason Tournament. Yeah, the CIT. I've made fun of all these acronymed tournaments that aren't the NCAA too. But, hey, my Racers are still playing. And the games have been the kind that make the arena loud. That's March Madness ... at least on some level.

7. "House of Cards" is a good show. 

Who knew Netflix original productions would hook me like that? Kevin Spacey is so good as Frank Underwood. I like the behind-the-scenes drama of journalism and politics colliding and I enjoy the suspense of the story unfolding. Speaking of drama, "The Good Wife" has been rocking this season and "Scandal" is nuts in a way that keeps me watching.

8. Winning a local trivia night fund-raiser is fun.

Along with our two best other couple friends, we came in first out of 14 teams. The TV Theme Songs category really helped us. We brought home enormous Hershey's bars, trophies and gift certificates. {See picture at the top of the post!}

9. My kids have never been into a movie like they are Frozen.

The music. The characters. The story. They love it all. Yes, they, my 4-year-old boy is into almost as much as his 6-year-old sister. We had March 18 on the countdown app on my phone and they literally waited by the door for the UPS man to deliver the package from Amazon. He showed up about 4:30 p.m. that afternoon and they started watching it at 4:31 with much rejoicing. They watched it three other times that week and haven't stopped talking or singing about it.

I don't usually care about animated movies, but I like "Frozen" as much as any animated movie I've ever seen. That's not hyperbole; that's the truth. It's right up there with "The Lion King" for me.

10. When I find songs I like, I listen to them over and over. 

My most played songs this month are Ellie Holcomb's new album "As Sure As the Sun," NeedtoBreathe's "The Heart," and MercyMe's "You Are I Am."

Tell me about your March. What have you seen and heard and read and experienced?
________
I'm loving documenting life with these monthly along with Emily Freeman. Here are previous month's recaps from 2013: June. July. August. September. October. November. And 2014: January. February.

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Relax your heart

She tapped on my elbow again. After several prior physical therapy appointments, I knew this meant to relax. She didn't want me controlling my own reach. She wanted to see how far my shoulder could rotate up and sideways and back without the pestering pain.

That pain was what brought me into the physical therapy room that morning and several other mornings in February and March. This particular morning she was evaluating my progress.

She wanted to see if the massaging and stretching and pulling and prodding had loosened my shoulder and surrounding muscles and if my reach and rotation had improved. She measured and asked questions, like a post test. The pain was mostly gone but the reach and rotation was still less than normal.

And she reminded me to relax my arm. Again. "You have trouble relaxing your arm. You must like to be in control over your own movements," she said. Oh do I ever like to be in control. Of my arm movements, yes, but so many other choices and timelines too.

Like she taps on my elbow, I have to mentally tap myself. Yes, I have to remind myself to relax, but I'm doing better.

I sat with a fiction book the other day. The kids were playing outside and the clean clothes just waited for me to fold them. I started to read "Missing You" by Harlan Coben.

This morning started with a date with my husband. I didn't even look at my to-do list. We talked, laughed, ate breakfast at a restaurant, and enjoyed our spontaneous time together after the kids were off to school with my sister-in-law.

I talked the other day with my daughter instead of rushing into the afternoon homework routine. I understood her in a new way because I didn't hurry.

I left some dirty dishes in the sink after friends were over to watch basketball. I sat next to my husband on the couch and watched more basketball. And then last night we got in bed before 9 and watched an episode of "House of Cards." Yes, I had many different thoughts going through my mind, but I needed to be mentally done with the day instead of pushing myself to do one more thing.

I schedule monthly massages because I need a physical reminder not to carry so much of life on my shoulders. At first I felt guilty, but I let go of that.

Relaxing is part of my cure in laying down the idol named Productivity in my life. Curing perfectionism that seeks approval and and hoards replacement loves instead of Christ's love takes time because it's a process.

Like my shoulder is finding relief through the therapy, my heart is finding relief when I relax. It takes more than one appointment and some stretching, but I'm kinder and slower to anger this way. I'm seeing my daughter who is so much like me with more compassion when she talks about why recess was frustrating. I like life more when I free to enjoy it.

It's the middle of the week. Frustrations may be mounting. Maybe you're weary. Perhaps you have too many things on your mind like I did yesterday. Whatever it is, loosen your grip. Do what you can, but know you can't do it all.

Relax.

Relax your shoulders, yes. Don't carry all the world's problems there.

And relax your heart because from there everything else flows.
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I'm linking this post with two of my favorite encouragers: Holley Gerth, who hosts Coffee for your Heart, and Beth Stiff, who leads Three Word Wednesday. I'm also joining Lyli Dunbar for Thought-Provoking Thursday.

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A story of the lamest injury ever

My husband and I have been sleeping upside down in our bed. Like our heads have been where our feet would usually be.

Since early 2013, I've had some shoulder pain. Shh, I know, that's a long time. But it hasn't been constant and has varied in intensity. And I've been to the orthopedic doctor. Twice. I've had a steroid shot that rocked my diabetic world for a few months and only temporarily took away the pain. And now I'm doing physical therapy on it.

Really, it's the lamest injury ever.

I don't know even know why or when it started hurting. I do know I didn't help the issue when I went tubing on the lake on Memorial Day weekend. Yes, I'm talking eight-plus months ago. It had been hurting before the tubing, but I was still in denial.

Blow drying my hair, taking off my jacket, and reaching behind my seat while driving shouldn't be physical challenges. But apparently that's what inflammation does to a shoulder like mine.

So, anyway, I started physical therapy last week. Yes, for the lamest injury ever.

The plan is to go twice a week for 45-minute sessions that involve deep massages of my pectoral muscle, exercises to increase the mobility of my shoulder and elbow and strengthen my shoulder, and cold packs. The exercises and cold packs are happening at home too.

I have three sessions down and I have some hope, although yesterday's appointment was intense.

So I've been trying to do what I can to nurse my shoulder back to health. Perhaps my kids will eventually stop referring to my bad arm. I realized sleeping on it probably wasn't helping and I couldn't will myself to not sleep on it given our usual positions in our queen side bed because I like to sleep facing out of the bed.

"Husband, we have to switch sides or sleep in the opposite direction."

We chose the opposite-direction sleeping. Neither of us wanted to give up our sides of the bed and the bedside tables that accompanied them. So we moved our pillows down and tucked in the sheet at the head board. I've been sleeping much more comfortably.

For a few nights recently, Ben found poor excuses to come down to our room in the middle of the night. So the first night last week that we slept that way, he ended up standing by Greg's feet for who knows how long before Greg redirected him to the foot of the bed.

Even in his nighttime confusion, Ben thought it was funny. "Daddy, you're sleeping upside down." Yes, Daddy is the better nighttime parent.

Ben was fooled again when it was actually morning and he came looking for me, the one who will feed him breakfast and tell him what we're doing with our new day.

Anyway, at least I'm not sleeping on my sore shoulder anymore. Progress, right? 

I've promised Greg this sleeping arrangement isn't forever. I can say that because I have hope this is going to pass and be a funny story about a lame injury that took way too long to heal.
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Six Things I Learned in January

Here we are. First month of the new year done.

I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.

But it's true. And, yes, unbelievable. So, before it totally escapes, I'm going to recap these past 31 days with some things I've learned {or perhaps realized and remembered}.

1. It doesn't snow just because the temperatures are in the single digits. OK, so, I didn't learn this. But, really, if it's going to be 8 degrees, there might as well be inches of snow on the ground so I can't leave my house. Instead, here in western Kentucky, we had a bunch of really cold days. {All of this comes from the girl who loves summer.}

2. With the right number of doctor's appointments, it's possibly to make a good dent in that new deductible in just the first month of the year. I've visited the gynecologist, endocrinologist and orthopedic for various unrelated reasons. My son has been to the allergist and pediatrician. Then there's an ENT visit for him and another check up for me next week to start February. Plus there are my diabetes prescriptions that have been filled plus Ben's new EpiPen that accompanies us to twice-weekly allergy shots.

3. Certain kids music can be good even when the kids aren't still in the car. I'm almost entirely referring to Slugs & Bugs' "Sing the Bible." If we hadn't had the "Frozen" soundtrack on so frequently and the temperatures hadn't been so cold, I may have left that one on too ... at least for a few minutes. "Let it go ..." is kind of a theme for me. {I recently wrote about such here and here.}

4. People respond to real life. I posted a couple pictures online showing my real life laundry piles and dirty dishes and discussed dinner. People liked them and talked about their own houses. And at least two people even took their own pictures {here and here}.

5. I like binge watching TV shows more than watching movies. I guess this isn't something learned as much as it's something affirmed. We finished watch "Dexter" this month, thanks to Netflix. And this week we started "Covert Affairs," courtesy Amazon Instant Video. {Speaking of which, do you use Amazon Prime? Y'all. I'm addicted. The free two-day shipping has replaced some of my trips to the store. And now I found a show to watch for no extra charge beyond the $79/annual subscription fee.}

6. I do much reminiscing in January, a month that holds some landmark moments for me. I became a Christian in 1996. Greg proposed in 2002. I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2004. We met Cate's birth mom for the first time in 2007. Ben's adoption was finalized in 2010. This month hasn't had life-changing moments like those, but it's been busy and full of real life with a house, a husband, two kids, a vacation rental house, a job managing another vacation home, school commitments, friends who are like family, and family who are friends too.

What's your month been like?
________
Author Emily Freeman got me started documenting life this way. {See previous posts from 2013: June. July. August. September. October. November.} Emily's January post is worth your time as is sponsoring a child through Compassion International, as her post suggests. 

This post contains affiliate links. 

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A decade of diabetes

I had lost a ton of weight. I was always thirsty. And my contacts constantly felt dry in my eyes.

Those were my symptoms. For months. For a year at least. Really, probably closer to 18 months. At first I didn't notice. Then I needed to hold on a couple more months until my health insurance kicked in.

I chose a doctor a friend had gone to and liked. And within five minutes of talking to the doctor, I learned I probably had diabetes. She ordered a blood test to confirm, but she told me to go home and pack a bag for the hospital.

I cried. I called Greg. I cried. I called my mom. I cried. My best friend came over. I cried.

I cried because I was scared.
_______
Even on this first day of being a diabetic, I was thankful for my doctor. She was calm and encouraging. And she didn't let me in on just how dangerously high my blood sugar was. I mean, she told me the number, which was in the 500s, but she didn't let me know just how worrisome that was. She also didn't tell me until later about my A1C, which measures the average blood sugar level over the past few months, and how it indicated diabetes had gone undiagnosed in me for quite some time.

Some time in the previous year or maybe even two, my pancreas had stopped working. A virus killing off good cells is the best possible cause, but, really, the reason is a mystery. Turns out, my pancreas doesn't produce insulin and my body was burning fat because it couldn't properly break down sugar, leading to my thirst and hunger issues and weight loss.

I should say here science was my least favorite subject in school, making medical jargon and explanations seem like a foreign language.

Upon my diagnosis a decade ago, I spent three nights in the hospital, where the nurses gradually brought my blood sugar level down with shots of insulin in my upper arm and tended to my dehydrated body with fluids. I learned how to count carbohydrates, give myself insulin shots and monitor my blood sugar levels. I realized our bodies are complex and that addressing this one need helped me feel so much better in every way.

The rule-follower, people-pleaser in me kicked in, giving me enough strength to do what I needed to do for my own good.

For more than 7 1/2 years, I took one kind of insulin every time I eat and another kind each evening. Then in September 2011, I started using an insulin pump, which was such a good decision for me. This change came on the heels of me choosing a new doctor when the one who diagnosed me closed her practice. When I hesitated about his recommendation for pump therapy, he said if I decided do it I'd regret not doing it five years earlier.

Turns out, he was pretty much right.
_______
Then toward the end of 2012, this doctor, who taught me more about how diabetes effected my body than any other doctor before, moved from my small town. I started seeing another primary care physician in the same practice but it hasn't been the same since.

I still go to the doctor every three months to have blood work done so my blood sugar, thyroid function and cholesterol levels can be monitored. But that new doctor {the third, if you're keeping count ...} also recently moved from Murray. I have an appointment in a couple months to see yet another doctor in that practice, but I don't have high hopes she'll teach me like my first two. So tomorrow I have an appointment with an endocrinologist 94 miles away. He comes recommended by two people in the diabetic world I trust.

This doctor situation has been a burden to me. It's frustrating and keeps becoming more and more logistically complicated. Add in the fact I've been having an ongoing arm pain and unexplained hemangioma {a benign vascular tumor of sorts} on a female part, and I'm sort of tired of doctor's appointments.

One doctor recently called me a puzzle. She was talking about the hemangioma.

But she could have been referring to diabetes or arm pain. Nobody can pin down why or when my pancreas decided to stop working. My shoulder has had some inflammation before. But who knows why it decides to flare up when it does.

Talk about embracing imperfection.

I had a good cry ... well, OK, two cries ... earlier this month. Mostly looking at my calendar of doctor's appointment overwhelmed me. But I'm thankful for the way God continues to sustain me and teach me about just how complicated and precise his creations are.
_______
My kids like to watch my change my insulin pump infusion set, fill the new reservoir with insulin from the vial, and prick my finger to check my blood sugar. I know if I go too many days without exercise that my blood sugar rises for several days, giving me headaches. And when I do exercise, I have to take off my insulin pump so my blood sugar doesn't go too low.

I certainly don't manage it perfectly, and I still like to treat myself to sweets {with extra insulin, of course}. But I take care of myself, even though it's frustrating some times. A side effect of insulin is the difficulty losing weight. Yet I have to take it. I've gained more weight back in the past decade than I lost in those months before my diabetes diagnosis.

Like most people, I'm better off to pass on the desserts. But I like food. It's a vicious cycle. Usually I am thankful my chronic condition is one that is manageable. But some days I wish I could have a normally functioning pancreas.

For someone who took the minimum amount of science in high school and college, this last decade has been a crash course in anatomy, biology and even chemistry.

I don't really want to live Jan. 28, 2004, over again. But that diagnosis is part of me. I don't cringe when I give myself a shot or prick my finger. I just do it. Most of the pharmacist technicians at Rite-Aid know my name when I walk in to pick up my diabetes supplies.

Much of those first few days is a blur. But I remember one thing clearly: When I called Greg just a few minutes after I found out, crying, of course, he said, "It's OK, we'll change our lifestyle." He said, "we," and I was reminded I'm married to my one who is willing to live life with me, despite circumstances that may alter the course we thought we were on.

And he's lived by that these past 10 years. He knows when I get irritable there is a good chance my blood sugar is high. He knows if my words start to be confusing and I'm sweating that my blood sugar is too low.

God created me and knows the details of every hormone and organ in my body. I may not know why my pancreas quit working or answers to a list of other health-related questions, but I'm thankful there are ways to continue living this life, my life.
________
This is certainly a real-life look behind the scenes of my life, so I'm linking with Crystal Stine today. 

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