Even God-sized Dreams can change

Moving to a wide-open space to call home been one of those one-day dreams for when circumstances seemed right, the land was located in the right place, and the house suited our needs and wants.

Well, one day happened.

In June, we moved 8.3 miles away onto 33 acres. Around here, we call that moving to the country. Now I run errands in town.

Our house is all on one level, which I love. The kitchen is many times bigger and brighter and the open layout of the living, dining room fits our lifestyle, and the laundry room is bigger but still close to the kitchen. There are windows with views, wide open spaces to roam, and woods and creeks to explore.

Months before we moved in, I stood on the front porch looking out to where my boy could run free, where my husband could let his dreams take root, and where we could all five adventure together, I knew the dream had changed.

Dreams can change, you know. {Tweet that.}

I say that because I’ve been hesitant to believe that.

Join me at the God-sized Dreams website, where I'm sharing more about what moving taught me about dreaming.
_____________________
Subscribe to get new posts and/or a monthly newsletter with content not available on the blog in your inbox. When you subscribe, I'll send you a FREE #choosingJOY printable.

Celebrating other women {who made me a mom}

Mother’s Day was especially hard one year, right there in the midst of my own hard, emotional infertility season. And then God led us to adoption and I became a mom one week before Mother’s Day 2007.

That’s how dreams are sometimes – they seem so far out of reach and then they happen in an instant and we realize the timing is perfect. Of course, when I was waiting to be called “Momma,” I didn’t think the timing was very perfect!

But hindsight offers perspective.

Truth is, I wouldn’t be a mom if it weren’t for other women who chose life for their babies and then chose me to be their mom. Dreams have a way of humbling us and pointing us back to the Creator of it all. {Tweet that.}

Three times, I became a mom because of adoption. Sure, infertility led us there, but since the day we stopped trying to conceive a baby, I’ve had no doubts this was God’s plan for our family.

Adoption is relational to its core. Always rooted in grief, adoption is a redemption process that builds families and connects people beyond the walls of one home. The earthly process of bringing a child home this way mirrors the spiritual adoption of God choosing us for an inheritance we share with Christ. It’s kingdom work that sanctifies.

{Join me at God-sized Dreams for the rest.}
_____________________
Subscribe to get new posts and/or a monthly newsletter with content not available on the blog in your inbox. When you subscribe, I'll send you a FREE #choosingJOY printable.

Dreams Can Change

When we moved 6 ½ years ago into our current house that sits right in the middle of town, I thought we’d live here forever. We live next door to Greg’s grandma, across the street from the park, and just around a couple corners from my best friend. We can walk to our favorite parade-watching spot and get most anywhere we ever go in 10 minutes.

Inside, the laundry room is right off the kitchen, there are four bedrooms which fit our family perfectly, and there’s extra space in the play room/office on the second floor and the basement living room to spread out.{It's a really great house. And it's for sale.}

But Greg has long dreamed of living on more land, where we are boxed in with neighbors (even great ones!). Adventure feels a little restricted here. We have a lake house and my mother-in-law lives on hundreds of acres, so as we spent time at those places, Greg’s dream started becoming my dream.

In recent years, it’s been one of those one-day dreams for when circumstances seemed right, the land was located in the right place, and the house suited our needs and wants.

Well, one day happened. 

Several weeks ago, we looked at 33 acres that intrigued Greg but the outing came with a disclaimer to me: “I don’t think we’ll like the house.” Greg is a real estate attorney and entrepreneur, so we’re often looking at property. I figured that’s what we were doing that Saturday morning in February.

But then we loved the house.

And the land.

And the location.

Standing there on the front porch looking out to where my boy could run free, where my husband could let his dreams take root, and where we could all five adventure together, I knew the dream had changed.

Dreams can change, you know. {Tweet that.}

I say that because I’ve been hesitant to believe that.

Sometimes dreams change so God can usher us into a deeper relationship with him. {Tweet that.} Sometimes they change so we can meet a new friend or find a new passion. Sometimes they change for reasons we never know.

But change isn’t always bad.

Again, I say that because I’ve been hesitant to believe that.

We closed on our new dream five days ago. We went out to the property, which is 10 minutes from where we currently live, two times Easter weekend. There wasn’t a single piece of furniture on the off-white carpet that is going to be removed soon, but the house was full of hope. I could see my people in the kitchen and believe that’s where we are supposed to be. The layout suits our lifestyle of doing life together.

We’re having some renovations done, but the four-wheeler has already taken my husband and big kids on treks through the woods. I have no doubt much adventure awaits because that’s the beauty of accepting dreams can change.
_____________________
Two books that encouraged me to slow down, learn about God-sized Dreams, and embrace change are "Girl Meets Change" by Kristen Strong, "You're Made for a God-sized Dream" by Holley Gerth, and "Breaking Busy" by Alli Worthingon. 
_____________________

An InLinkz Link-up

_____________________
Subscribe to get new posts and/or a monthly newsletter with content not available on the blog in your inbox. When you subscribe, I'll send you a FREE #choosingJOY printable. 

"Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, or follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'.

On organizing the dreams God gives

I’m a Type A person who finds great pleasure in getting things done. I like a clean house. I like to start and finish projects. I like to mark items off a to-do list and make plans because, really, if it’s on my calendar it’s going to get accomplished.

I used to think I wasn’t a dreamer, considering myself too practical for that. Then God used Holley Gerth and many of the ladies who write for this website to show me He’s the Dream Giver. He’s given me gifts and personality traits to use for his glory – and when all that merges it truly is a dream come true.

God-sized dreaming is about far more than the end result, though. {Tweet that.} It’s really about the process of making choices about how we will spend our time, surrendering the details and timeline to God, and connecting with people. Too often I’ve tried to do it my way, but God is working on me.

My dreams are about mothering and writing. I share our family’s adoption story because it’s my faith journey. I share about our everyday life so other moms know they aren’t alone. I believe stories have power – so I tell them and write them.

But real life doesn’t always allow me to write whenever I’m inspired. Sometimes I have to email myself an idea so I don’t forget it while I’m feeding the baby or doing laundry or grocery shopping. Other days the baby takes a longer-than-expected nap so I get extra time to work on whatever project is in front of me. God surprised me with a lake house management job a few years ago that I love because it combines my love for details, planning and hospitality.

Regardless of what the day looks like, I’m thankful for my iPhone that allows me to carry much information and many ideas while connecting to people anywhere.

{Read more at God-sized Dreams, where I’m sharing specific ways I organize information and connect with people.}
_____________________
Subscribe to get new posts in your inbox and a monthly newsletter with content not available on the blog. When you subscribe, I'll send you a FREE #choosingJOY printable. 

"Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, or follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'.

No performance required

My third-grade girl was nervous about a poem she had to recite at school. She knew every word to “Animal Crackers.” Sure, they came out too quickly and she could have spoken louder when she practiced in our kitchen. But she knew what she was doing.

Yet fear sneaked in. Tears came. Nerves abounded.

As I comforted her, I remembered every night before I had a school presentation when I was growing up, I would get irritable and nervous. Tears weren’t strangers to my preparations either.

But I don’t want that for her. I want her to stand in a confidence I never knew. I want her to realize she may mess up when she’s standing in front of her class, but life is okay anyway. I want her to realize her performance – with this poem or anything else – doesn’t define her.

I told her all these things. And then we opened up her bible to 1 John 4:17-18:

“This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. ...”

She is loved perfectly by the one who made her. She doesn’t have to score well or speak perfectly to earn God’s affection. Sure, as her mom, I want her to do her best, but she’s already loved.

The same can be said for you and me.

Join me at God-sized Dreams, where I'm sharing the rest of this post. 
_____________________

An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{God-sized Dreams} Thankfulness for the hard days

More than two years ago, we were in what we thought would be our family’s third adoption process. But I hesitate to call it a process because we weren’t getting anywhere and hadn't been for quite some time. We met closed doors even though we believed we were pursuing God’s will for our family.

We ended up laying down our desires because my husband Greg and I each had peace that was right – at least until God told us otherwise. ...

So we let go.

And we lived.

And then about 18 months later, God surprised us. He renewed the desire to adopt in a fresh way. He guided conversations between Greg and I. We asked for prayer because we believed God was moving in a new way. ...

Thankfully, the hard days were a just season. {Tweet that.}

Isaiah 43:19 offers so much hope when the days are dreary:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

I’m thankful God was working in my life even when that season didn’t look like I envisioned. I’m thankful God made himself known even when we made the hard decision to stop pursuing adoption. I’m thankful he once again knew the desire of my heart and made is a reality in his time – which was better than my time anyway. And I’m thankful God didn’t leave me stranded in the wasteland.

Join me at God-sized Dreams to continue reading this post.
_____________________
Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{God-sized Dreams} Seeing your child know God

We’ve always told our kids about God. We’ve said prayers around the table, before bed, and when they’re scared. They’ve gone to church since they were newborns and now attend a private, Christian school.

The last several months, Cate wanted to talk about baptism and communion. So we had short conversations in the mini van and our row of chairs at church. She’s read her Bible more and asked deeper questions. She went to church camp for a few days not long before we went to Guatemala on a family mission trip.

I knew God was moving in her life.

My husband Greg and I knew this 8-year-old girl of ours was one reason we were supposed to go on a mission trip. We knew seeing poverty was different than talking about being generous. Our team of 13 people from our small town in Kentucky included four kids about Cate’s age. We served with Bethel Ministries International in Chichicastenango, Guatemala, where we distributed wheelchairs, built houses, visited families, and distributed food, clothing, and school supplies.

On our last day in Guatemala, we had finished our projects and were on the black sand beach of Puerto de San Jose enjoying some time with team, who had become friends. In the midst of the adults chatting and the kids digging in the sand, Cate came to me and said she needed to talk. I expected her to say something about the loads of sand in her bathing suit, but instead she told me she wanted to be baptized when we got home.

Isn’t that the dream of parenting? We do all these good things for our kids and expose them to God in all the ways we know how so they can actually know God.

I know I've already told most of this story here, but I'm sharing it today at God-sized Dreams. I'd love for you to join me there for the rest of this post.
_____________________
I'm linking this post with the lovely Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{God-sized Dreams} The journey of a dream

I prayed for God to use my family’s adoption story.

It was a wide-open prayer I offered up over time – sometimes hesitantly, other times confidently. Meanwhile, I wrote an ebook called “Peace in the Process” tells about the hard season of infertility and then how God led my husband and me to adoption. The crux of the story is God built my family of four in a way I never expected – and simultaneously built my faith.

I sold some copies of “Peace in the Process” and started getting feedback from people I didn’t know. And then I started praying for people I didn’t know as they shared their infertility and adoption stories.

I continued to pray God would use these words for his good – even though I had no idea what that would look like. Meanwhile, I started getting involved with a local adoption ministry. The co-founder and I connected easily and planned some events. Through the events, I met other women who were waiting and hoping and struggling and wondering like I did – and sometimes still do.

{To read more about how God built my dreams, join me at the God-sized Dreams website today.}
________________
With this post, I'm joining Jen Ferguson for the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Easter is for Dreamers

I know the Easter story. I try to comprehend the significance of Jesus' resurrection. But I've never thought about how Matthew 28:1-10 also has much to say about dreaming.

Two Marys were at the tomb, but they weren't there expecting a miracle. They went there because of obligation and tradition. Somebody needed to put oils on the deceased's body to prepare it for burial.

But God surprised them. A stone was moved not because Jesus needed it to exit the tomb but so these women could see inside. They witnessed the miracle.

"The women left the tomb quickly. They were afraid, but they were also very happy. They ran to tell Jesus’ followers what had happened" (Matt. 28:8). Of course, dreaming is scary, but it's also joy-filled beyond our imagination. And that makes us want to proclaim the good news – The Good News, especially – to others.

Jesus told the women they didn't need to be afraid. And he told them to go. "Then Jesus said to them, 'Don’t be afraid. Go and tell my followers to go on to Galilee, and they will see me there'" (Matt. 28:10).

Sometimes when we dream action is required. {Tweet that.}

Making the phone call. Sending the letter. Accepting the job. Booking the trip. Serving in another country or on your street. All of that can be scary, but God may have a surprise waiting when you least expect it.


Join me at God-sized Dreams today to read more about why Easter is for dreamers.
________________
I'm linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering, where encouragement happens. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Joy to the World (Vol. 3)

Happy weekend, friends!

Today I've officially known Greg half of my life. We met 17 years ago through a mutual acquaintance and then went on a date the next week, on Valentine's Day. Ah, how romantic! I suppose, but, really it was about logistics of going on a date the next Saturday. It was my freshman year of college people, I wasn't looking for marriage. My how time flies ... and most of it's been fun! 

Life with Greg also been a bunch of real life that looks nothing like I expected. I mean that in a nice way. Really, that's the theme of my life ... 

We had a little blimp in our normal routine this weekend when both kids came home from school at lunchtime Wednesday with fevers. Cate also complained of her throat and stomach hurting, so I ended up taking them to the pediatricians' office to get swabbed for strep. Positive!

This was Ben's fifth strep diagnosis since late April 2014 and third since Christmas. It's Cate's second time in less than a month. Talking about health and medicine always prompts a good Facebook thread ... 

But they're better now. Hopefully for good. Or at least the rest of this winter.

Meanwhile, I've been posting things I'm loving over at Instagram, so I'd love to have you connect with me there. Here are some snapshots of #choosingJOY the past couple of weeks ::

1. "Experiencing Joy" by Jeannie Cunnion :: Joy seems to be a theme on the internet right now. At first I thought, well, isn't my focus this year cliche? And then I realized it just means there are that many more resources out there. Like this article.

"What produces JOY is first remembering the good news of God’s grace and then letting it flow through us to one another." {Jeannie Cunnion}

2. Extra! Extra! board game :: Even though I haven't played this game yet, it's making my list. Here's the back story: Greg and I have played Settlers of Catan regularly with our best friends since February 2007. In May 2007, we started an perpetual scoreboard that we still tally wins. We sit in the same order around the table.

I haven't been wanting a new game. I'm still happily addicted to Settlers of Catan, but then I read about this one. By the makers of Settlers! Before I was a mom, I was a reporter. So, yeah, this game seems perfect for me.

3. Road trips with friends that involve stops at good restaurants and our favorite college basketball team :: This has happened once with our friends the Gachokas. And it's happening again today and next Saturday. I love basketball season. And my friends.

4. Sharing my story at other websites :: Yesterday I has posts at both places I regularly contribute – God-sized Dreams website and Circles of Faith. The GSD post is about marriage and how I've known Greg half my life {officially, today is 17 years!} and at COF I'm sharing another excerpt from my book that talks about how God hears the desires of our heart. I'd love for you to join me at both places.

5. Reading a new cookbook like a novel :: I've been lacking meal planning inspiration. So I resubscribed to eMeals and ordered a new cookbook, recommended by my friend Kayse Pratt. I spent an hour Thursday reading "Dashing Dish" by Katie Farrell.

6. From my #choosingJOY list on my iPhone :: 63. Walking in the morning. 64. My time with Ben during the day and him saying, "We have a busy day, you and me." ... 67. LeeAnn Willet bringing me JOY stickers at a Racers game. 68. A meal with so few carbs {tilapia, green beans, salad, blackberries} I barely have to take insulin.

How have you been #choosingJOY lately? {Tweet that.}
___________

Read other JOY-related posts and Joy to the World (Vol. 1) and (Vol. 2).

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

On dreaming together

He asked me out for ice cream when I was 18, still a college freshman trying to find my footing in an independent life I was trying so hard to embrace. I soon realized I didn’t love ice cream like he did, but he could calm my perfectionist-driven heart.

That was 17 years ago this month. The boy who asked me out for ice cream became my boyfriend for most of my college years, took the brunt of my emotional growing pains, proposed marriage four years later, and has been my husband for more than a dozen years.

Greg has known me for half my life now. And when I say “know me,” he really does.
Marriage was really hard at the beginning. I don’t want to say it’s gotten easier – but God has changed us. We’re more in sync.

After all these years, we can dream together.

His dreams used to scare me because they were so unfamiliar to me. His entrepreneur spirit made me nervous. He’d suggest something that was different than what I had concocted in my head, so I’d reject his ways because mine seemed better. I wanted him to read my mind and was disappointed when he didn’t.

But God has shown me over and over how Greg has our family’s best interest in mind – even when he’s dreaming big. Maybe especially when he’s dreaming big.

{Join me at God-sized Dreams today for the rest of the story ... }
___________
Want more stories? Read about how Greg and I met each other. And then our first date. 

"Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

One Word :: JOY

“Light, space, zest—that’s God! So, with him on my side I’m fearless, afraid of no one and nothing. … I’m asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with him in his house my whole life long. I’ll contemplate his beauty; I’ll study at his feet. That’s the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world, the perfect getaway, far from the buzz of traffic. … Already I’m singing God-songs; I’m making music to God. … Point me down your highway, God; direct me along a well-lighted street; show my enemies whose side you’re on. I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God.”

{From Psalm 27 in The Message}

I started this year thinking about the word LIGHT. And, of course, God has used that word over and over in my life. He’s taught me about living in the light and laying down details so my burden is light.

This year, I’ve started a journey of breaking free from some strongholds that are rooted so deeply in my childhood that I thought they were all just part of me. But God is showing me that doesn’t have to be true. He’s got a better plan. It involves forgiving and moving forward. It involves trusting him in a new way. It requires my whole heart.

This is a hard journey for me.

Those strongholds are so deeply rooted in my soul that they’ve overflowed into my marriage, my parenting ability, and daily life more than I ever realized – until this year when they were brought to light in a new way to me.

To continue on this well-lighted path God has me on, I want to embrace joy – not circumstantial happiness but joy that comes from living out the abundant life God promises. I want to know my soul is free – even on the hard days.

I’ve been thinking about this word … JOY. It’s such a simple word, but I’ve realized joy is hard for me because I want to hold on, even when I know the change that is coming is healthy and good. I paused with embracing this focus for the new year because it’s seems cliché these days, but I have no doubt God wants JOY – his joy alone – to seep so deeply in my heart that I am changed from the inside out.

Those verses from Psalm 27 were read at church recently. It wasn’t that translation, but sometimes I scroll on the Bible Gateway app during church to read different translations. This time The Message translation struck me, bridging how God wanted me to take what I learned about LIGHT and apply it to JOY. Of course, in God all things are connected, but these words made it so clear to my heart.

Light, space, zest—that’s God!

And that’s what God wants for me. I know it. But it’s like God knew I needed a reminder that the hard journey is worth it. Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God.

We’ve just celebrated Christmas and this one-word focus for the new year was confirmed over and over again as I listened to several different versions of “Joy to the World,” one of my favorite carols. I thought I’d share my favorite versions with you.

“Joy to the World (All Creatures)” by Shaun Groves

“Joy to the World (You Are My Joy)” by Rend Collective

“Joy to the World” by Bebo Norman

“Joy to the World” by Jason Gray

“Joy to the World” by Randall Goodgame/Slugs & Bugs

“Joy to the World” by Third Day

“Joy to the World (Unspeakable Joy)” by Chris Tomlin

Like I did with LIGHT, I’m going to collect songs of JOY this year. So joining “Joy to the World” is Jason Gray’s “Laugh Out Loud” to start the new playlist.

“… I was alive but I wasn’t living

A prisoner of my fear and shame

But when you find you’ve been forgiven

Laughter will rise like a holy kind of praise

So I throw my head back and offer up my thanks!

Ha ha, don’t it make you wanna laugh out loud

Oooh oooh, and shout, “Hallelujah!”

Oh yeah, if you got joy go and let it on out

Ha ha ha ha

He said bring to Me, your heavy heart

Take my hand and we’ll go whistling in the dark …”

{From “Laugh Out Loud” by Jason Gray}

I can’t actually whistle, but I can trust God. I can offer up my thanks and learn more about this joy God is offering me. So, this is how 2015 begins for me.
___________

An InLinkz Link-up

___________
What’s your focus going to be this year? Some people choose one word instead of making resolutions. I’ve liked doing that because while it’s a focus, it’s still wide open for God to move. And I’m not failing at resolutions just a few days into the year this way!

I'm linking up with this post with Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory, other God-sized Dreamers, Beth Hess' One Word 2015 post, Circles of Faith, and Holley Gerth's Coffee For Your Heart. Holley recently wrote about how laughter can sound like praise, helping confirm what God is teaching me. I also shared this post with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering that Jen Ferguson hosts and Anne's Front Porch Inspired. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available at Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Three Word Wednesday} Talk about adventure

The wild tree in my living room reminds me that life is full of adventure as we seek God and the dreams He’s given us.

A few years ago, we decided to cut down a tree from my mother-in-law’s farm to use as our Christmas tree. We brought along some friends who did the same. Mimicking the children’s classic “We’re going on a bear hunt …,” our kids chanted, “We’re going on a tree hunt …”

If four years in a row can make a tradition, we made one – one that we never anticipated but continues to go down as a favorite holiday adventure.

This is the fourth year our living room is decked out with a tree from our hunt. I love the smell and the unconformed look of its branches wildly reaching out. God created this tree uniquely – just like he does each one of us and our dreams.

I prefer white lights and ornaments from places we’ve been and those that document my kids’ growth. I even like their handmade ones. Our tree is perfectly imperfect and radiates beauty. Maybe your Christmas tree is artificial with shining colored lights. It doesn’t matter – it’s yours.

And it’s okay if you don’t decorate for Christmas the same way every year. We’ve had artificial trees in the past, and in some ways that’s easier. But we like the adventure that comes with my husband Greg using a chain saw, hauling the wild tree home, and making it fit in a portion of our living room. The kids like to help decorate, stretching their little arms as high as they’ll reach.

I really love when the house is quiet and dark, but there in the corner of the living room is the glowing beauty from our tree. Sometimes I need the quiet and dark to see the glory.

I think about when God told us to adopt. We had no idea what we were getting into – talk about adventure.

I remember when I realized I was supposed to tell our infertility and adoption story because it’s my faith journey that taught me I belong to God. Yes, the earthly adoptions made us a family, but we’re also co-heirs with Christ. The parallels are exciting and the most tangible example of faith I’ve experienced.

I spend time with my community of people. It’s loud and chaotic, but God is there and I can’t imagine my life without them. That’s real life adventure right there.

{Join me at the God-sized Dreams website, where you can read the rest of this post.}

 

    An InLinkz Link-up
   

___________
I'm also linking up this post at Holley Gerth's Coffee For Your Heart, Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory, and the Soli Deo Gloria Gathering that Jen Ferguson hosts. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

God orchestrates details

We loved everything about our daughter’s independent, private adoption process. We built a relationship with her birth mom in a way we wouldn’t have been able to with an agency in the middle.

On Cate’s second birthday, we started taking steps toward our dream of a second adoption and met with our social worker. And, yes, we dreamed of another independent adoption process. But we assumed we’d have to proceed with the “normal” agency adoption route. (Yes, I realize there’s actually no normal in the adoption world.)

My husband, Greg, and I both knew we had been blessed by our first adoption process and considered it a little greedy to hope it would happen again like that.

So we chose an agency in Fort Worth, Texas, and made plans to attend an orientation there a couple months later because we already had an extended family vacation planned to the Lone Star State. I filled out grant applications, gathered documents for our home study, and made an appointment to meet with our local attorney to update him on our desire to adopt again. That last matter was important because I’d already put his name on countless forms.

More evidence of life not being what I expected, our attorney called a couple days after we met with him to tell us he found us a birth mom. Well, actually, the birth mom found him and he thought of us.

I couldn’t even orchestrate this miraculous timing if I tried. And Lord knows I tried.

{Join me for the rest of the story at God-sized Dreams, where I’m sharing about God’s faithfulness.}
________
That second adoption process led us to our son, Ben. I tell this story and others from my journey to motherhood in my new ebook “Peace in the Process: How God Built My Faith & My Family,” which is available on Amazon. Adoption is an everyday conversation at our house, but this month is National Adoption Awareness Month, so I’m hoping the topic finds its way into other homes and hearts.

I'm linking up this post with Beth Stiff's Three Word Wednesday, where she's sharing some news that you'll want to hear. I'm also sharing at Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory.

Want more stories? Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Dreaming in Stories

My 4-year-old son Ben loves Daddy to tell him stories before bed. Usually my husband chooses childhood memories of fishing or exploring with his brothers and friends. Ben is captivated and often wants to hear the same story told over and over again, as if he’s claiming the adventure has his own dream.

Really, aren’t some of our dreams birthed from stories we’ve heard?

The Bible is full of adventures that entice us. We watch TV shows and read books that draw us in with their characters and plots. Stories are the foundation of so much more than bedtime entertainment.

Earlier this year I read “The Secret Keeper,” a fictional story of a woman uncovering her 90-year-old mother’s story. This book by Kate Morton had nothing to do with faith specifically and everything to do with dreaming and discovering.

Sometimes we discover stories that wreck our reality. Other times what we uncover propels us to dream.

{Join me at the God-sized Dreams website to read the rest ...}
________
Want more stories? Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Only & Never :: On God Being the Only Absolute

As a preschooler, I wanted to wear only pink and purple dresses. As a young adult, I refused to eat at the local Chinese buffet, telling my husband adamantly I didn’t like Chinese food.

I never wanted to live in Murray after I graduated from college, work for a specific small-town newspaper we criticized in my journalism classes, or send my kids to a private, Christian school. Of course, I also assumed I would have kids biologically when I was ready.

You know that cliché about “Never say never …”? Well. I’m here to tell you, it’s true.

And while you’re eliminating “never” from your vocabulary, but go ahead and strike out “only.” Never and only create absolutes that are impossible to uphold.

Truth is, we don’t have any authority to create absolutes. Only God is absolute.

God is The Way, The Truth and The Life (John 14:6). Unlike my childhood clothing preferences, God never changes. He’s steadfast and constant too – something that can’t be said about my food choices either.

Here I am, regularly wearing jeans, T-shirts and flip flops while eating (and sometimes even cooking!) Chinese food. I’ve been back in Murray for 12 years since moving away briefly after graduating. That newsroom I swore I’d never enter turned out to be the job I loved. I only left that job because God called me to something better and harder – mothering. Of course, those kids weren’t born in my way or my time. But God wrote a story of adoption that built my faith like nothing else I’ve ever experienced.

{Read the rest of the post at GodSizedDreams.com, where I'm thrilled to be a regular contributor.}
________
I'm linking up this post with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering.

Want more stories? Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Lessons in dreaming from the Kentucky Wildcats

I've been a Kentucky fan longer than I can remember. That picture above is 16-month-old me.

But, admittedly, I've especially been enjoying this team the past few weeks. Yes, it's late in the basketball season. The Wildcats are one of the Final Four teams and here I am rooting for them in a new way because they've taught me some lessons about the dreams I have in life.

With all this one-and-done business, it's hard to learn the players' stories. And, yes, the stories are what I love about sports. But this team's story has won me over in a new way and reminded those dreams are worth pursuing.

Five freshman start. It's like Coach John Calipari has a new team every year as many of his players go on to the NBA before they turn 20 years old. As a fan, that's hard to keep up with sometimes. But, now, it's April and the 2013-14 University of Kentucky Wildcats have me.

This NCAA Tournament run has been amazing. An eight seed, the Cats beat ninth-seeded Kansas State, top-seeded Witchita State that hadn't lost a game all season, fourth-seeded Louisville that happens to be the defending champion, and second-seeded Michigan to get where they are. They ended the regular season with a losing streak and hobbled their way in the SEC Tournament, where they ended up fighting until the end.

I knew this team was growing on me when it lost to Florida in the SEC Championship. So much so I had them beating Louisville in my bracket. Yes, it was wishful thinking. My dreams have nothing to do with basketball championships, but this team and its will to win taught me a few things.

Just listen to this quote from UK Coach John Calipari after his team beat Michigan on Sunday to head to the Final Four this coming weekend:

"They were trying. Loving the grind, learning to work, becoming self disciplined. Counting on one another, being their brother’s keeper, all that stuff. Losing themselves in the team.

It’s hard when all seven of them scored 28 a game in high school to give up something and then you’re looking at the other guy, and when they all just settled in and lost themselves in the team, the game became easier. They became better. They had more fun. They became more confident. And all of a sudden this is what you have.

But it took us four months."

{UK Coach John Calipari}

Most of us don't call our people a team. We usually refer to our family or friends. Or maybe your people are your community or even tribe. Perhaps you have a more organized moms group or Bible study. You have co-workers and neighbors.

These people really are like our team in life.

We've all had personal successes and failures. That's part of what we bring to the tables we gather around. We count on each other. We lose some of ourselves when we're part of a team and that makes us better version of ourselves.

But these relationships take time. It took this young team dominated by freshman several months to bond together in a way that made them stronger. When they got to that point, they've found success. It's true that we really are better when we're together. And we won't get better instantly or without the investment into each other's lives.

I listened to UK's press conference after the game on Sunday and I've read through the transcript more than once. It's packed with other lessons:

Believe in your story before it's over. After UK lost to South Carolina, which had a losing record, earlier this season, Aaron Harrison said his team was going to have a great story everyone would be talking about. Coming off a loss, he still knew what team was capable of more and he knew the players would need each other: "I just felt that even though we lost that game we came together in that game. We became stronger in that game because we knew that everyone else on the outside wouldn't be on our side after taking a loss to a team like that. I knew we just had to come together. If we came together we could do some things." Likewise, when God gives you a dream, know there will be losses, but there will be more to the story.

Stay in the moment. UK could have looked past Kansas State and started thinking about handing Witchita State its first lost or facing its rival Louisville again. But that would have distracted the players from what they needed to do in the first game. Take your dreams one step at a time.

Be ready when your time comes. Sometimes dreams have to wait. Marcus Lee got sick earlier this season and hasn't played much since. And then he was one of the stars of Sunday's game. His coach called on him and he was ready. He wasn't even mad that he had to wait for his name to be called: "Spending this time with my family and my brothers is not challenging at all. Once you see that glare in your brother’s eyes when they’re playing hard and winning games, you can’t be mad about it at all." Our time often isn't God's time, but hang in there because the best time is coming.

Stay the course. There will be criticism and doubters and hurdles, but focus on continuing to develop. Life is a process.

Make decisions that help the people around you. Aaron Harrison knew he needed to take the shot. Sure, he could have missed, but he wasn't worried about that and took it anyway. It turned out to be the game-winning shot. Listen to what he said afterward: "I knew I had to take the shot. I wasn't really sure how much time was left. But I knew that it wasn't that much time, so I just tried to take the best shot I could take. And it fell. And in making that shot and seeing my teammates so happy and running toward me, it’s the best feeling in the world."
________
All of these quotes were taken from UK's post-game press conference following its win over Michigan on Sunday, March 30. You can read the entire transcript here. 

I'm joining Jen Ferguson's Soli Deo Gloria party, other God-sized Dreamers, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart, and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory with this post. 

Want more stories? Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Living like sheep {and free books!}

New Zealand. August 2009.

Holley Gerth taught me something about sheep this past weekend as a dozen of us gathered around tables with her and spilled our God-sized dreams into real-life conversations. Sheep are defenseless when they're alone. They can't protect themselves against predators unless the single sheep is disguised in a group that confuses the predator. They flee when they're scared and band together because there is safety in numbers.

Photo by Nasreen Fynewever.

Perhaps we really can learn something from sheep.

I gathered with women I'd never met in real life this past weekend. While we shared meals and stories, my soul felt protected. The same goes when I gather with my friends in my everyday life. Protection comes as emails, texts, phone calls, lunch dates, trips to the park, and parties.

Life is best when we're coming together and communicating. Like those sheep. I know my herd of people often direct my heart and soul right to the Shepherd himself, the one who gives dreams and grace.

Together really is the best way to experience life.

Jenn and I talked the whole 5 1/2 hours from Murray to Branson and then again, along with Sonya who joined us for the trip back, which took longer than usual because of some icy roads in Missouri. Sonya is an encourager who asks good questions. I stayed up later than usual talking with my roommate Kelli who quickly became my friend. Elise drew me in with her stories. Deb's quietness gave way to wisdom. Jennifer and Michelle gave us their time and perspective of the publishing world. Cathy cared for the details and our hearts. Kim cracked jokes at perfect times and shined a sweet spirit. Sarah gushed with excitement. Nasreen led us with love, truth and laughter. Holley opened her heart and her words both to the group and to us each individually.

{You can see more photos on Facebook.}

In addition to these ladies, the weekend was possible because of the generosity of Revell Books, DaySpring and (in)courage. And, yes, there were free books. In fact, I brought home two sets of the free books -- one for me and one for you!

GIVEAWAY :: Use the Rafflecopter below for various ways to enter to win. On Friday I will pick five winners. Each winner will get one of the books -- "You're Going to Be Okay" by Holley Gerth, "A Millions Little Ways" by Emily Freeman, "Rethink How You Think" by Dr. David Stoop, "The Smart Woman's Guide to Planning for Retirement" by Mary Hunt, and "Everday Confetti" by  Karen Ehman and Glynnis Whitwer.

UPDATED to CONGRATULATE Holly C. Wyse, Jennie Woelpern, Beth Stiff, Stephanie Hoffpauir, and Chrissy Montes on each winning one of these books. Winners, you've been emailed, so let me know if you don't have a message from me in your inboxes!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

________
I'm sharing this post with communities I adore at Jen Ferguson's Soli Deo Gloria party and Beth Stiff's Three Word Wednesday. 

This post includes affiliate links. 

Want more stories? Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Grace that inspires

With markers in hand, Cate was creating a detailed picture for Gran-Gran's birthday present. It involved a rainbow and leprechaun. Although I'm not entirely sure of the significance, I know she had a plan. When Ben haphazardly swiped the red marker across the corner of the paper near the sunshine, Cate was irritated. She thought her vision was messed up with the stray red markers.

I totally get that reaction, but I reminded her  Gran-Gran was going to love whatever she made. With some convincing, she let go of the irritation she had for Ben's interference and finished her picture while Ben kept his marks on his own picture.

We went about our weekend that included a granddaughter-planned surprise party for Gran-Gran. I forgot about the picture snafu the day before.

The day after the party, Cate was talking about how she made the sunshine rays out of the red mark Ben left on her paper. She was talking to me, but Ben was listening closely.

"You aren't mad?" Ben asked.

"No. That was yesterday," Cate said

She had no hesitation in her voice. She meant it.

She had moved on. Truly.

I explained how she was demonstrating grace and forgiveness to her brother. Having held onto too many grudges myself, I was proud of her for realizing letting go was so much freer than dwelling on imperfect interference.

"I thought I just changed my attitude," Cate said in response to my lesson on grudges.

Ah, yes, an attitude adjustment. She's right. Changing her attitude helped her let go. Letting go helped her enjoy the rest of the day, including the party she was thrilled to plan with her cousins.

Grudges create barriers between people and hearts. Grace opens the door to joy.
_______
Author Holley Gerth asks, Who inspires you?

These two little ones do. {They wouldn't like me calling them little. But they're 6 1/2 and 4. They're still little.}

They're full of joy and ideas and dreams and grace. Yes, sometimes the energy and ideas pile on my weary momma brain and lead me to mental exhaustion. But their innocence and life remind me of what matters.

Some days I don't feel equipped to be a mom, their mom.

I don't want Cate to carry a burden of perfectionism like I have for so long. Her personality leans that way already, and I want to show her freedom that only comes from laying it all down at the foot of the cross.

I don't want to silence Ben's joy, but on the days I become annoyed with the noises and repeating words and constant movement I'm afraid that's what I'll end up doing. Knowing how best to channel his energy while still training him that there are times to stop talking and moving is hard.

But then I see Cate's big, brown eyes soaking up life and Ben plotting his next joke and endearing interaction. God reminds me of the faith journey he's brought me on. Their adoptions followed a heart-wrenching infertility season. Their lives are testimonies to God's faithfulness.

God most certainly wanted me to a be a mom, their mom. 

Learning about laying down perfection and teaching my daughter to do the same is possible because of the faith journey that led us here. Figuring out how to be a boy mom is part of my story. These two are my God-sized dreams personified. Greg and I want God to have his way in our family. I don't always know what that means, but I know the One who does, even on the hard days.

If I knew how to do it all perfectly right now, then I wouldn't need the One who gives and sustains life. I want that grace that Cate showed her brother to swing our front door open. I want joy to come in here.
________
I'm joining writers at God-sized Dreams, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart, Beth Stiff's Three Word Wednesday, and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory. 

This post is part of something happening in my heart hearing the message that I'm pre-approved in God's love. Next week I'll join Jennifer Dukes Lee and others who are saying yes to God and laying down idols as the Lenten season begins. I've gotten a sneak peek at "Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need for Approval and Seeing Yourself through God's Eyes," Jennifer's book that is inspiring this movement. I've read enough to know you'll want to pre-order it and have it in your hands when it releases on April 1. Her post today introduces you to the movement and offers some fun printables. 

Want more stories? Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Be brave. Relief will come.

Even at 4 years old, he had a plan. Be brave for the shots and then go to Chick-fil-A.

Ben was recently diagnosed as being allergic to trees, weeds, grass and dust mites. Clearly these are things I can't really keep away from him. So allergy shots it is. Yes, plural. One in each arm twice a week, starting today. The frequency will become less as the treatment continues. Hopefully his ear infections and nose bleeds will become less frequent too.

He didn't want to pull away from the plan until the nurse was holding the needle. Then he didn't want to be brave anymore. He wanted to kick and pull away. He wanted to resist.

I can see a bigger picture. I understand that this momentary fear will be so worth it once he has relief. He could only see that needle in her hand and the one near her on the counter. He could only remember how all those pricks in the back and arms bothered him before.

I remember how scared I was when I was diagnosed with insulin-dependent diabetes a decade ago. That fear propelled me forward but in the beginning if I thought too much about the needles piercing my flesh I got nauseated. I still can't watch nurses draw my blood. Yet I overcame the fear because I learned it was worth it to feel better and I became comfortable taking care of myself this way.

As Ben pulled away from me this morning, trying to escape this needle that would be such a blip in the big picture, I realized I do the same thing with God sometimes.

I get scared sometimes too, even when I have a plan. I want to pull away from the One who is orchestrating the details because I have a plan of my own. I want to pull back from people I love because they've frustrated me. I want to push against change that will heal my soul and risks that will strengthen my faith.

But relief will come. 

If I just take that first step

or send that email

or ask that friend how I can pray

or try that new thing

or meet that new person

or go to the place I've never been

or let go of control, again

or if I try again after I failed the first time.

God is the giver of the dreams, so he's going to give us what we need to overcome the fear. He's going to strengthen us and heal us as we face whatever fears are like needles piercing our life.

Ben survived the two shots this morning. I'm pretty sure he'd forgotten about his fear by the time he ate his Chick-fil-A biscuit and climbed in the play area. That's the thing about fear, it's fleeting if we cling to the One who promises everlasting relief. 
________
I'm sharing this story with God-sized Dreamers, Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes, Jen Fergson's Soli Deo Gloria Party and Lyli Dunbar's Thought-Provoking Thursday.

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."