Build what matters

I saw the Five Minute Friday prompt last night on Twitter and immediately knew what I wanted to write about. When I finished folding some clothes, I typed this out on my phone. I love when one word spurs on so many thoughts and pulls together what's been happening in my mind. That's what Kate Motaung's one-word prompt did for me last night. 

Five Minute Friday is a flash mob of writers, all writing for five minutes about one word. This week the one word is BUILD. Write away. And then join us at Kate's place. 

Ready, set, write ... 

A year ago my husband, oldest girl and I were in Guatemala. That one week in a foreign land rocked my world. There have been related tears and joys and friendships and dreams – all rooted in one week in a land whose language I barely speak.

My first mission trip changed my perspective of pretty much everything. We went there to build houses and distribute clothing, food, and wheelchairs, yet God is building something bigger. I see parenting and church and service and relationships and society different than I did before stepping foot in Chichicastenango, Guatemala.

For the past year, God has been building upon that mission trip I took to Guatemala. I know what he’s doing in my life, and I have to wonder what he’s still doing there with the seeds we planted.

Sometimes in the midst of everyday life, I still find myself wanting to let God build more, starting in my heart and mind and spilling over into all the corners of my life.

We moved into our new house June 18. Since then, we've unpacked {most} of our boxes and arranged furniture. The washing machine here didn't work so before I did my first load of laundry, we had to move some appliances around. We've had one toilet overflow twice and the plumbers have been here twice to fix two of the three toilets.

Ben had a pretty bad case of poison ivy the day before we left for a road trip that started with Greg's business meeting four hours away and continued with a stop-over in Louisville on our way to Buffalo, NY, where we visited my sister and the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. At the end of our trip, my nephew unknowingly shared his hand, foot, and mouth virus with Rachel. W came home to "road closed" signs near our house, thanks to crazy amounts of rain. A few days later lightning from another storm struck a tree that blocked us from the open portion of our road.

It all seemed overwhelming. I thought I had come into summer intentionally choosing a freer scheduler and then I found myself outlining my day on Post-It Note because I was worried I’d forget something. Summer has been more adventurous than I planned.

And then, right there with a Post-It Note slapped on my calendar, I remembered my week in Guatemala. I remembered what we were doing on July 7 and July 8 one year ago. I remember how building houses built my faith.

And I remembered that God is building a good thing here too. We are making a new-to-us house a home. We are creating memories and embracing adventures. We have work to do for God's glory.

All of that is the kind of building that matters.
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Read all my Guatemala-related posts here. 

Gratefulness & Guatemala

I don’t want for a thing. Not a single item.

I’ve been known to spout lectures to my kids about how they need to be grateful and appreciate what we have – every single last thing.

But gratefulness isn’t just about things. Gratefulness is an attitude, a perspective. Yes, all the things are part of it because that’s the kind of world in which we live.

Gratefulness goes far beyond the things and takes root in our hearts. {Tweet that.}

My husband, oldest daughter, and I went to Guatemala last year. {Read more about that here.} We spent a week there, helped build some houses, and distributed wheelchairs, clothing, and food. And that one week spent in a foreign land almost eight months ago has rocked my own world.

While building houses there, the beginning was a concrete slab. The middle involved metal walls, a roof, and a couple windows. The end result was a sturdy, blue-painted house that far surpassed these families’ previous housing.

Yes, the houses were blessings that I’m sure spurred gratefulness in these Guatemalan families. How could they not? But I’m not sure the houses were necessarily the intended result. The hearts of the people – the ones who call Guatemala home and those of us serving – are what ultimately matters.

Sure, those families are better cared for because they have a roof over their heads, but I pray they know the love of Jesus in a new way too. We gave them food, but did they realize we really wanted to give them love that truly nourishes. Absolutely, God cares for our physical needs, but he yearns for our souls. {Tweet that.}

I’m still feeling the effects of that one week. That trip spurred on a couple new friendships and offered a new perspective. In any given moment, I appreciate my life and my things while longing for a simpler, less cluttered lifestyle.

And I understand gratefulness in a new way that I’m praying overflows onto my kids.

“The very thing most parents long to give their kids – a grateful heart – is destroyed in our attempt to simultaneously give them the world. It’s hard to have both because true thankfulness is experienced when we first understand we are missing something. And that’s hard to teach when we are trying to give them everything. When we have everything, we are thankful for nothing. When we have nothing, we are thankful for everything.”

(Kristen Welch in “Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World”)

It’s nearly impossible to live the American dream and long for God’s Kingdom at the same time. But the everlasting kingdom is better than any fleeting dream, so that’s what I want to hold onto here in the middle of it all.
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I’m excited to join Britta Lafont for her Meet Me in the Middle Project during Lent, when I’m going to slow down and notice the pieces of life I bypass in a rush. Find all the details about the Meet Me in the Middle Project here or reference Britta's introductory post.

#ThreeWordWednesday friends, I'd love for you join in Meet Me in the Middle by linking up there and here, but the weekly #ThreeWordWednesday link up is open as usual even if you're not participating in this Lenten project. I'm always so glad y'all are here.

An InLinkz Link-up

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"Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, or follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'.

Faith, Works & Love

“The Bible constantly elevated love over knowledge, mercy over sacrifice. Knowledge is a tricky bedfellow, because it can sometimes shield us from the gospel. Doctrine is tidier terrain than flesh and blood. … Could the highest level of ‘right theology’ involve loving God and people like Jesus suggested?”

{Jen Hatmaker in “For The Love”}

We can give our money and time to so many causes. Those refugees in Syria need help. There are orphans all over the world. Children need sponsored and adopted and fostered and mentored. Wells need to be funded and built. Third-world villages need medical care and access to education. Single moms could benefit from sustainable solutions to their problems. Our neighbors need to be invited in so they can meet Jesus.

We spend so much time acquiring knowledge, waiting for circumstances to be perfectly tidy before we actually do something with what we know. Learning is important. Understanding God’s ways is paramount. But sitting around becoming smarter isn’t worth much if we aren’t out there loving and serving. {Tweet that.}

James reminds us faith without works is dead. Those works don't save us, but they may save someone else. Those works don't determine our identity in God's kingdom, but they can grow God's kingdom.

I can do good work in Jesus' name, but I can't do all the good work. And neither can you.

Facebook is full of good causes. Our friends all promote whatever it is that moves their souls. Hunger. Homelessness. Orphan care. Adoption. Medical aid. Sustainable business opportunities. Life skills. Short-term missions. Long-term missions.

Every single one of those things and so many other causes are important. And we should tell people about them. But they aren't all going to be my things. And my things aren't necessarily going to be yours things.

But when I do my things and you do your things, when we come together with each other, when we open our doors and give our resources, then our small things add up to big things. We make ripples and bring light. We do good works not to save us but to let them see God wants to save them. {Tweet that.}

And we’re going to learn more about God and ourselves in the process, anyway.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I'm linking up with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

On Saying Yes {a guest post}

I've been asking my husband to write a post about our Guatemala trip. I know, you've heard my stories and perspective, but I wanted him to share too. And then when he did, I cried and wanted to go back. We're grateful for our Guatemala experience and how it's changed our family. And I'm excited you get a chance to hear more about that from Greg. 

How many of us actually like the idea of a God who calls us to submit our whole lives to Him? Isn’t that radical? Isn’t Him asking that of us crazy?

And how many of us Christians actually submit our will to His on a daily basis? I know I haven’t, not really, at least not on a daily basis.

Yet I do see examples in the lives of my friends and family – people submitted to the Lord and daily taking up their cross and following Him. These people are ministering to those around them, meeting physical and spiritual needs, and taking Jesus’s love into this dark and dying world even when it seems crazy to do so.

Last fall, I clearly felt the call of the Holy Spirit to look into this Guatemala mission trip with Bethel Ministries. I couldn’t escape the thought that God was calling us to this experience at this time. And despite so many failures in the past to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading, this time I said yes.

As Christians, we follow a God who loves to shake things up and turn our world upside down. He called Gideon while he was threshing wheat in hiding, He called Moses while shepherding in Midian, and He called Elisha while plowing in the field.

If you are serving a God who never humbles you, never disrupts your world, and never calls you to do things outside your comfort zone, you are probably serving your idea of God, not the Lord of the universe. When He calls you, don’t expect Him to ask for anything less than your whole heart.

The cool thing about how He works is He doesn’t ask us to use our willpower to change our hearts or give us a long list of things to do in order to get an “A” at being a Christian. He simply asks us to be obedient and submit to Him when He calls. He asks us to say yes when our selfish flesh would say no. And as we submit one choice at a time, He then changes our heart and transforms our mind, spirit and attitude. He is the one doing the work, all we have to do is say yes. {Tweet that.}

The powerful thing about what the Lord did through our team in Guatemala is that He took us and transformed us for His purposes that week. For the nine adults and four children who answered the call, we left our normal selfish selves in the USA and became a unified team with one purpose of serving the Guatemalan families we met.

So as our team got together to go to Guatemala, you may have looked at us from the outside and said that we looked like a bunch of imperfect people, not really suited to do real ministry. And you’d be right. But the truth is He had a specific plan for us to meet with families and children in Guatemala and bring glory to His name. The families we met with didn’t ask us about what sins we were struggling with or how many times we had let God down. They simply saw the love of God in the food that we brought, the wheelchairs we distributed, and the houses that we built.

And through that, God changed not only the families we served in Guatemala, but He changed us. My daughter, Cate, experienced poverty on a level that she had never seen before. Yet she also experienced the joy of the Lord in a new way, as she played with and smiled with those children who trusted God despite their circumstances.

She experienced what it was like to say yes to God, and the radical, crazy, amazing love of Jesus became a little more real to her that week. The day before we came home, she talked with Kristin and I about baptism and what that meant. We prayed with her and sensed that she felt God was calling her to submit to Him and that she wanted to say yes. I had the privilege of baptizing her at our home church with our family and friends a few weeks later. She felt the call of God, and said yes. And I am so thankful that she did.

Our trip to Guatemala reminded me in a new and fresh way that Jesus is the only source of contentment and joy. No matter what our circumstances, we can take joy in knowing Him, and remembering that this life is fleeting and eternity awaits. Nothing else matters when we are confronted by His relentless grace. {Tweet that.} I am so looking forward to what He has planned next.
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Read my other Guatemala-related posts here :: 

Mission to Guatemala

God said GO

Building a foundation & threading love

God makes us new

What, why, how?

What I learned in Guatemala 

With Faith Like a Child
Eyes on Guatemala

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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{God-sized Dreams} Seeing your child know God

We’ve always told our kids about God. We’ve said prayers around the table, before bed, and when they’re scared. They’ve gone to church since they were newborns and now attend a private, Christian school.

The last several months, Cate wanted to talk about baptism and communion. So we had short conversations in the mini van and our row of chairs at church. She’s read her Bible more and asked deeper questions. She went to church camp for a few days not long before we went to Guatemala on a family mission trip.

I knew God was moving in her life.

My husband Greg and I knew this 8-year-old girl of ours was one reason we were supposed to go on a mission trip. We knew seeing poverty was different than talking about being generous. Our team of 13 people from our small town in Kentucky included four kids about Cate’s age. We served with Bethel Ministries International in Chichicastenango, Guatemala, where we distributed wheelchairs, built houses, visited families, and distributed food, clothing, and school supplies.

On our last day in Guatemala, we had finished our projects and were on the black sand beach of Puerto de San Jose enjoying some time with team, who had become friends. In the midst of the adults chatting and the kids digging in the sand, Cate came to me and said she needed to talk. I expected her to say something about the loads of sand in her bathing suit, but instead she told me she wanted to be baptized when we got home.

Isn’t that the dream of parenting? We do all these good things for our kids and expose them to God in all the ways we know how so they can actually know God.

I know I've already told most of this story here, but I'm sharing it today at God-sized Dreams. I'd love for you to join me there for the rest of this post.
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I'm linking this post with the lovely Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Three Word Wednesday :: Eyes on Guatemala

“Don’t excuse yourself by saying, ‘Look, we didn’t know.’

For God understands all hearts, and he sees you.

He who guards your soul knows you knew.

He will repay all people as their actions deserve.”

{Proverbs 24:12}

I ran into Kim at the pediatrician’s office one day last week and then at the soccer fields this week. She’s my down-the-street-around-the-corner neighbor who organized our Guatemala team. We had texted some but I hadn’t seen her since we came home from the mission trip. I hugged her and told her how I was surprised how much I already want to go back. And then we made plans to lunch together.

The next day I talked about the mission trip to my endocrinologist during my regular diabetes check up. He’s actually from Guatemala and has been in the U.S. for eight years. We talked about poverty and government corruption in his homeland.

I’ve been thinking about our Compassion girl Roselyn. She lives near Guatemala City. Logistics didn’t work out for us to meet her when we were in country, but we hope to some time.

While shopping at a consignment sale, I found a children’s book in both English and Spanish. It took my mind back to Guatemala, where I watched my daughter read the English words while Angelica read the Spanish words of several books. I bought “If I Had a Dragon” (aka “Si Yo Tuviera un Dragon”) and I figure I’ll get it into the hands of a Guatemalan kid one day, somehow.

All these moments collided in my mind last week. Driving to and from my endocrinology appointment, which is an hour a half away, I had “Keep Your Eyes Open” by Needtobreathe on repeat. {This is also the song I used for the video I made about our trip.}

“… Cause if you never leave home, never let go

You’ll never make it to the great unknown til you

Keep your eyes open, my love”

{From “Keep Your Eyes Open” by Needtobreathe}

I want to keep my eyes open. I want to remember what I saw and experienced in Guatemala. Talking to Kim and then Dr. Figueroa and thinking about our week in Guatemala and how we were so close to Roselyn makes me want to go back – and take that book.

We’ve been home 6 ½ weeks and I’m seeing things – most every little and big thing, really – differently. My life is being filtered by my experience in Guatemala. Yes, the poverty I saw makes me thankful for my life and all the many opportunities here. But it also reminds me people here have needs.

I saw God in a new way there. And I want to keep seeing him that way here.

“Don’t let the night become the day

Don’t take the darkness to the grave

I know pain is just a place

The will has been broken …”

{From “Keep Your Eyes Open” by Needtobreathe}

I am notorious for complicating things and holding on too tightly to people and reactions and plans. But, really, the people and places God has used to change me the most weren’t ever part of my own plan. That’s how Guatemala was. That’s how adoption has been. That’s how life in God’s kingdom should be.

And now that I’ve seen God in a new way, there’s no turning back. {Tweet that.}
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Read my other Guatemala-related posts here :: 

Mission to Guatemala

God said GO

Building a foundation & threading love

God makes us new

What, why, how?

What I learned in Guatemala 

With Faith Like a Child

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An InLinkz Link-up
   
Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Guatemala} With Faith Like a Child

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” {Matthew 18:1-5}

We were gathered around Manuel, getting ready to pray for the seizures and attacks he’s had since he was a 6-year-old boy. He’s managed to survive, be married for more than 30 years, and father two boys. Really, that’s a miracle – especially in Guatemala.

Working in the fields isn’t always possible because of his physical ailments. His wife washes clothes for extra money, but being able to pay for food for his family and education for his boys is a struggle.

Part of our mission team was at this house with a local pastor and a couple of the missionaries from Bethel Ministries International to help address their needs. It was one of 16 homes we visited throughout the week.

{Read here about the details of our trip.}

Chris, who along with his wife leads BMI, was getting ready to pray for Manuel. First, he thanked Manuel and his wife for loving each other through the hard days. Then he asked Kellen – one of the four kids on our mission team – to sit next to Manuel and talked about child-like faith.

Sure, most of us who have spent any amount of time in church have heard a sermon or two on child-like faith.

But Chris looked Kellen in the eyes and said his hands were needed on Manuel while we prayed because he had just the kind of faith God wants all of us to have. Kids don’t have the distractions and anxiety that adults can easily have as they try to make grown-up decisions and take care of the people who are depending on them.

Yes, the Jars of Clay song was playing in my head :: “They say that love can heal the broken / They say that hope can make you see / They say that faith can find a Savior / If you would follow and believe / with faith like a child.”

Then Chris told Cate to come near too. And we all prayed.

In Spanish, Chris thanked God, asked for healing, and encouraged this family to seek Jesus the person – not the picture in the shrine they had built on a table in the house behind us. Meanwhile, I silently thanked God for these moments that drew my daughter in and reminded my heart what was important. Those moments next to a house situated among the dirt and cornfields were the best child-like faith sermon I ever witnessed.
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Read my other Guatemala-related posts here :: 

Mission to Guatemala

God said GO

Building a foundation & threading love

God makes us new

What, why, how?

What I learned in Guatemala. 

I'm linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Three Word Wednesday :: Our Salvation Comes

Cate was baptized this past Sunday – about three weeks after she decided to on the shores of a foreign country to follow Jesus with this gesture. Greg had the honor of baptizing her in front of our best friends and some family members in our church, where Cate has heard so much about this God we prayed for her to believe in.

We celebrated afterward by singing “Days of Elijah,” a praise song she chose. Honestly, I thought it was unusual song to celebrate a baptism, but as we were singing it, I realized it was perfect:

“Out of Zion’s hills salvation comes ... There's no God like Jehovah.”

We came back to our house and shared a taco lunch with the people closest to us. They’re the ones who do life with us on a nearly daily basis. They’re the ones who have helped us teach our kids about Jesus.

Many times, people can pinpoint the moment they decided to follow Jesus and recall where they were when they decided to get baptized. But, really, salvation comes as a process.

I think about my own story. Like any high schooler, I was searching for identity and trying to make sense of life. The questions abounded, leading the conversations with friends. Then God led me to Romans 8:28:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

It was not long afterward, when I was away from my friends and family at a Chrysalis weekend that I took that first step toward really following Jesus. That was more than 19 years ago. First steps are important. But the ones that follow become our stories. {Tweet that.}

Likewise, God had been working on Cate’s heart long before we got to Guatemala, but it was there God wove together all he had been doing and made her need for Jesus clear. Her decision to be baptized was the perfect ending to our mission trip. Her actual baptism was a moment that will be etched in her story forever. But all of that was just the beginning to what else God has for her.
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

What I Learned in Guatemala

“O my people, listen to my instructions. Open your ears to what I am saying, for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past — stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders.”

{Psalm 78:1-4 NLT}

I answered some questions last week about our mission trip to Guatemala. After I had that post drafted, my friend Kayse messaged me. Among the catch up was this: “I’d love to hear more about Guatemala! What did you learn?” Well, now that’s a question!

The whole trip was a step out of my comfort zone. With travel and logistics, I ended up being away from Ben for nine days – the longest I’d ever been away from either of the kids. I spent the week in a country whose language I didn’t speak. So, of course, I learned some things. I saw new things and experienced moments unique to that time and place.

But one thing that surprised me and taught me was the way our team served each other.

There were 13 of us from five different churches Murray area and four others who live there and work for Bethel Ministries International. Very few of us had relationships before preparing for this trip. Sure, our local group had meetings since January, when we all committed to go. And we did some fundraisers together.

But seeing God work within our group – in our conversations, prayers, laughter and service – was something I want to hold onto. Before Guatemala, God had been showing me how relationships come – and sometimes go, unfortunately – with seasons. My natural instinct is to huddle all my people together – around the table or in my Facebook newsfeed – and never let go.

Serving together for a week will build connections – and those connections won’t look like other friendships. {Tweet that.} While building houses, we had conversations that mattered about our lives back home. We talked about what God’s doing in our jobs and with our families. We trusted each other with pieces of our stories.

One of my favorite moments from the week came in the hotel parking lot. The whole team had just gotten back from eating together when one of the guys shared with Greg and me about a hard conversation he and his fiancée were having across the miles that separated them. They’re farther apart than Greg and I ever were, but we remember how hard distance can be on a relationship. We shared some things from our own 17 years of knowing each other. Like a dose of reality mixed with hope, we told him how building a relationship that lasts is hard work but how it’s worth it. And then Greg got a chance to pray with him.

Those are the moments that bond people and build a foundation for what God wants to do.

I had other encouraging conversations throughout the week. I shared about our current adoption plan and pieces of my faith testimony. I heard about other people’s dreams of new jobs, ministry opportunities, and schooling decisions. {Read more about how we spent the week in Guatemala.}

One night when we were reflecting on our day, one of the guys said, “We were listening to all these worship songs that make you want to do something. And here we are doing something.” It’s true – together we worked and worshipped. God was there and he moved throughout the week with us. And I believe he’s going to do more because of that week together in Guatemala.

I was reminded how service can happen wherever you are. {Tweet that.}

Sure, it's easy to serve in Guatemala, where the needs are so obvious. People don't have enough food and clothing. One family we had met had never heard about Jesus. Another family had but gave their lives to Christ for the first time.

But needs still exist wherever we are – in a hotel parking lot with a new friend, while we’re sharing a meal with friends we’ve known for years, when I pick up our daughter’s birth mom for a prenatal doctor’s appointment, when we work in our ordinary lives, and down the street from our home that lacks for nothing. God wants to use us – and our stories – to meet those needs. 

I don’t want to unsee what God showed me in Guatemala so I can be sure to see what he has for me here.
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In other another moment in Guatemala earlier this month, I also learned Cate wants to be baptized. This was such a sweet surprise to end our week in Guatemala. And it’s happening SUNDAY! {Obviously, there will be more to come on that!}
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I'm linking up with Emily Freeman for my favorite monthly recaps. Read other Things I Learned posts :: {From 2013} June. July. August. September. October. November. {From 2014} January. February. March. April. May. June. July. August. September. October. November. December. {From 2015} January. February. March. April. May. June.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Three Word Wednesday :: The Purple Backpack

While packing for Guatemala, I pulled out my trusty, purple L.L. Bean backpack. There were still beads, a couple washers, and a tiny yellow duck attached to the zippers. And the worn butterfly patch remained where other kids’ had their backpacks embroidered with their initials or name.

I can explain the butterfly.

Butterflies symbolize transformation. Caterpillars begin as one thing and are transformed into a new thing. It’s a beautiful picture of our faith journey and how God makes us new (2 Corinthians 5:17).

(Also, you can read about my own Chrysalis experience and my daughter’s more recent understanding of accepting Christ.)

That purple backpack once packed textbooks, dreams of becoming a writer, and pieces of relationships I didn’t realize were shaping me. As a teenager, I carried it around the hallways of Oldham County High School while I searched for myself. It hung on the back of my desk in freshman English class the same year Kurt Cobain died. It was with me when I chose being the editor "The Clarion Colonel" over enrolling in AP Calculus the year my school switched to block scheduling and my class selection was more limited.

I’m not the same person I was then. Sure, some things are the same, but my perspective and convictions have changed. Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, life is a process. Transformation comes in seasons. {Tweet that.}

That purple backpack was with me throughout our week in Guatemala. It carried coloring books and bubble gum for the kids, hand sanitizer and wipes for us, my journal, my camera, a rain jacket, and my diabetes supplies. It sat on dirt floors people called home, got wet the one afternoon rain came, and offered a piece of familiarity in the unknown. But it also helped carry my faith that God grew as I stepped out of my comfort zone and the memories of seeing a world so different from my own.

I’ve spent the last dozen years creating a grown-up life that looks nothing like I imagined but is better than I ever expected. This place I call home is smaller than where I walked the high school hallways I couldn’t wait to leave, yet I’ve traveled and experienced and lived in such a way that I can see a bigger picture of the world. I’ve gotten to know God more intimately through the adventures. 

And the purple backpack has been along for much of the journey.
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

When song lyrics bring something beautiful

“In your ocean I'm ankle deep

I feel the waves crashin' on my feet

It's like I know where I need to be

But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out

Just how much air I’m will need to breathe

When you tide rushes over me …”

{From “Something Beautiful” by Needtobreathe}

After day of riding amusement park rides in the July heat in St. Louis, we took our kids to their first real concert. Four hours of music, courtesy Colony House, Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors, Switchfoot, and Needtobreathe.

We were sweaty and dirty when we plopped down in the lawn of the amphitheater. The sun was still high. My kids were tired. And then my wise husband realized the other side of the lawn was already shaded. So we moved – and found relief and a better view.

Greg brought the kids some pizza during Switchfoot. As Jon Foreman roamed the crowd and sang from his heart, Cate and I recognized more songs than we thought we would. And now I want to watch “Fading West,” because, really, who knew Switchfoot had made a surfing movie? Y’all I have no desire to surf, but, goodness, Greg and I have soft spot for inspiration surf movies.

And then the Needtobreathe took the stage and my heart rejoiced. Their music is so good for my soul. And the fact Greg loves the songs like I do makes the whole thing even better. We saw NTB together in Nashville last fall. The band’s song “Brother” inspired the name for our new lake house.

A Needtobreathe concert isn’t billed as a worship service, but with the band’s lyrics and heart, that’s what it became for me. Scripture is sprinkled throughout the songs along with questions we’ve all asked in our faith journey.

We had been standing, clapping and singing. And then during “Keep Your Eyes Open,” I ended up sitting down because I still had a view of the stage and needed to process life.

“… Just past the circumstance

The first light, a second chance

No child could ever dance the way you do

Tear down the prison walls

Don’t start the curtain call

Your chains will never fall until you do

Cause if you never leave home, never let go

You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you

Keep your eyes open, my love

So show me your fire, show me your heart

You know I’ll never let you fall apart if you

Keep your eyes open, my love …”

{From “Keep Your Eyes Open” by Needtobreathe}

Of course, Ben had to use the bathroom just as the song started, so Greg took him. Cate sat down close to me and I told her how the song is linked to Guatemala for me. I’ve loved that song for a while, but lately it’s been reminding me of Guatemala and how I don’t want to unsee what we experienced there. {I even used it as the song to go with my pictures in a video I’ve shared with people who supported our trip.}

I reflected on what God had done in our lives and hearts since we boarded a plane for Guatemala early on Independence Day. There was something ironic about leaving the country on such a patriotic day, but I quickly learned God wanted to use stepping out of my comfort zone to free my heart more.

I sat there in St. Louis on Saturday night with my favorite people by my side as one of my favorite bands played. In some sense, so much has changed this month. Yet I knew I was exactly where God wanted me.

Other songs stirred gratefulness in my heart. Some melodies reminded me of moments I’ve shared with my family and friends. Needtobreathe is part of the playlist of my life.

Ben had been restless in his tiredness. During “Something Beautiful,” he sat on my lap, stretched out his legs, leaned his head back … and gave into rest. The boy is always going and moving and doing.

In all honesty, parenting him has been hard since I’ve been home from Guatemala. Like any relationship, it takes two – so some of the parenting struggle has been all me. Life is filtered differently the past few weeks. It’s not Ben’s fault he hasn’t experienced what I did. Plus he’s only 5 and I can’t expect him to fully grasp what God is doing,

Even so, I believe we’ll move past this hard part and be better people for it. Those moments of having him cuddled in were sweet. Something beautiful, indeed. I felt his body give into sleep and was reminded how many times I push against God, knowing full well he knows best.

And then I wanted to stand up again. So I laid down Ben gently on the ground and he slept for the last half of the Needtobreathe concert while I let God continue his work in my heart.

“God of mercy sweet love of mine

I have surrendered to your design

May this offering stretch across the skies

And these hallelujahs be multiplied”

{From “Multiplied” by Needtobreathe}

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I'm linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Guatemala} What, why, how?

Since we’ve been back, we’ve shared many Guatemala stories with our friends. I’ve sat around the table eating chips and queso with my two best friends and told them what I saw and experienced. Greg shared with his Bible study friends on a Tuesday morning. Cate has offered her own perspective – and told people in the grocery store and at the public pool about her decision to get baptized. We’ve shared pictures and stories … and answered all kinds of questions.

So, let’s gather around this virtual table that is my blog, and let me answer some questions for you …

How did you choose Guatemala?

We knew our neighbors Kim and Stephen Crouch had led trips there so we had them over for dinner in November to learn more. Personally, I was drawn to the fact kids could go and the time change was only an hour.

I also liked the relational element. The Crouches have been going to serve with Bethel Ministries International for seven years and know the missionaries well. BMI serves all throughout the country, hosting teams in different towns. Even though I had just met the Crouches, we have a slew of mutual local and college friends. I had also seen the way people who had traveled with them to Guatemala before stayed involved with the fundraising and planning for future trips.


What did you all do there?

Throughout the week, our team of 13 people plus the four missionaries who live there divided up most days to serve. We also worked with a local pastor and volunteers who knew how to speak the Quechí dialect many of the local people with Mayan roots spoke.

Collectively, we built three houses on concrete slabs, visited 16 families, and distributed 35 wheelchairs. When we visited families, we gave them clothes, shoes, toiletries, and school supplies. We prayed with people and figured out how Bethel could meet other needs, like build a bathroom or secure education and food sponsorships. I may not have understood every word, but I know it was the same Spirit leading people’s hearts. {You can see all my photos here.}


You took your kid to a third-world country?

I did. And, honestly, she's a huge reason Greg and I believed we were supposed to go. After initially talking to the Crouches, I thought we would wait until Ben could go too. But neither Greg nor I could shake the feeling we were supposed to go. I talked to other friends about family mission trips and, although I was intrigued, I kept coming back to this one.

We committed to go in January and in the months after we participated in various fundraisers, which paid for the projects and materials. We paid our own way for the travel and food costs.

Before we left, I talked to Cate about things – like how she may see a woman nursing a child older than a toddler because food options are limited and how she doesn't know the language so walking away from us was never allowed.

I never worried about taking her and didn't regret our decision once we were there. I did have to explain what a man drinking himself to death means. And I thought I was going to have to explain what Rahab did before she was used by God, but she clung to another detail of that morning's devotional.

Cate is 8 but has common sense and is a deep thinker. As a family, we can talk all day long about generosity and continue to serve here in our local community like we do, but Greg and I believed showing her actual poverty would be life-changing.


Was it hot there?

No, actually. Another group from our area went in June – to the coast, where it was hot. We ended up with nearly perfect weather in the mountains.

It was in the 70s most days and got into the 50s in the evenings. We had layers and jackets. It was the rainy season, but we managed to only get rained on one afternoon ... and the guys had just finished putting on the new roof at a house.

It was hotter when we moved south to the beach for our last day in Guatemala. But even then the temperature was pleasant and some clouds kept us from being drenched in sweat.

So, basically, the weather was better on our mission trip than it apparently was at home that week.


Had you been in a mission trip before?

No, I’d never been on a mission trip. Greg had been to the Bahamas with his college campus ministry. To serve together was definitely an aspect of this I looked forward to.


What was your favorite part?

Um, all of it.

Really, though, Cate deciding to get baptized wins for obvious reasons. But the day spent building the second house and exchanging friendship bracelets with Maria, Brenda and Angelica may go down as my favorite.


Do you speak Spanish?

No, not really. I can understand some, but I don't speak it. Please don't tell my high school Spanish teacher. She'll be disappointed those four years didn't amount to more.


Will you go back?

I hope so – and so do Greg and Cate. Honestly, the fact I hope to go back surprises me. Before we went, I figured the trip would meet the need I felt inside to go. And it did. But it also opened doors I didn't know were there. I love what Bethel Ministries does and I loved hearing about a new ministry happening in another part of Guatemala to serve orphans and single moms. Landon Divido, who is working with Bethel as an intern this summer, is preparing to marry his fiancée Amy and then help the ministry his dad started open a rescue center in Poptun, Guatemala. This will help orphans as well as single moms who need childcare so they can work to provide for their families.

These are the kind of ministries I want to be a part of, even from a distance and hopefully one day on the ground again.


What can we do to help?

We spent the week serving in Chichicastenango, Guatemala alongside Bethel Ministries. We saw up close the poverty cycle that paralyzes families. Families often choose between food and education. Many suffer continuously because of the dirt and dust that builds up in their houses, that is, if they have roofs to cover them.

Bethel works with families all over Guatemala to help meet their needs while sharing the gospel. Some of that happens through food and education sponsorships. A monthly $50 food sponsorship feeds a family of 4 for a month. Education sponsorships are $25 for children in primary grades and $50 for those in secondary grades.

We would love for you to join us in serving this part of the world through sponsorships for some of the families and children we've met this week. Through Bethel, 100% of the sponsorship money goes directly to the family. If you're willing to commit to this let us know and we'll get you more information about a specific family or child as well as how you can make your monthly contributions.

You can also read more about what Light of the World Ministries is doing in Poptun and join in those efforts.

And if you have more questions, feel free to ask me. We're all friends around a table here.
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Other Guatemala-related posts ... 

Mission to Guatemala

God said GO

Building a foundation & threading love

God makes us new

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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Guatemala} God makes us new

We spent our last day in Guatemala on the black sand beach at Puerto San Jose. The Pacific Ocean waves were mighty, but the men and kids found their way in and out of the white caps. The women snapped many pictures. After a week of serving, we rested in each other and God’s beauty.

That afternoon, Cate came to me from where she had been digging in the sand and said, “Mom, can I talk to you?”

I leaned toward her, thinking she was going to tell me about all the sand that had piled up in her bathing suit or ask another question about just how the volcanic ash created a black sand beach. “No, over there,” she urged wanting me to step away from our friends.

We walked a few steps away and she says, “I want to be baptized in a few weeks.”

My heart melted in that moment. This had been brewing. We’d have conversations many Sundays for months when the communion elements were passed through the congregation. She asked about what accepting Christ and baptism meant. Greg and I have shared our stories over time with her. But, really, it had been awhile since we talked about it, even though I’d been praying for her faith journey.

Standing in our bathing suits on the edge of Guatemala, I asked my girl some questions and then called Greg over to join our conversation. (And, yes, our team leader and friend Kim snapped the photo of us huddled together, not knowing what we were discussing but noticing the moment seemed important.)

Cate repeated to Greg what she had told me. We talked more about sin and separation from God and how Jesus makes eternal life possible. Knowing her personality is so much like mine, I reminded her that even when we choose to live for Jesus, we’ll still make mistakes. This life is a process of becoming more like Jesus. {Tweet that.} But it won’t be until we’re in heaven that we’re made complete and perfect. I hope she grasps this earlier than I did.

God makes us new – and seeing my daughter accept this truth was such a sweet moment, especially after everything we’d seen and experienced together that week. We had a front row seat to joy and poverty like never before. Really, the whole mission trip reminded me of “Inside Out” and how sadness and joy co-exist.

Earlier in the week, Cate said, “I should trust God more. These people trust God even though they don’t have much.” To hear her deeper understanding of needing Jesus will forever be a favorite moment in mothering her. Sure, it actually has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. But I’m grateful that’s the kind of God we get to serve together.

While I wasn’t expecting this conversation that day, God knew it was coming. God told us to go to Guatemala, and I’m so glad we got to see another piece of his plan for our family. Cate’s revelation was the perfect ending to a week that stretched my faith and gave me a refreshed perspective as we served others.
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This is the second in my reflections from our mission trip to Guatemala last week. More stories are coming, but until then you can see all my pictures here. Other Guatemala posts :: On hearing God say GO. On building foundations & threading love. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Guatemala} Building a foundation & threading love

I cried at dinner after our first day of work in Chichicastenango, Guatemala. A mixture of emotions collided in my head. I was missing Ben, overwhelmed by the poverty I had already seen up close, feeling useless after spending the day at the site for a house build. The guys did all the hard work hand mixing concrete and pouring it as the foundation of a house we’d build the next day while Cate and I struggled to communicate with the family. Plus I was in a third-world country with my 8-year-old daughter who was trying to process emotions of her own.

Our team leader Kim gave me a pep talk when we stepped away from the table as everyone else was ordering their dinner. She reminded me God called us to this country, on this trip, and this time. Perhaps my broken Spanish, smiles, coloring books and pieces of gum really did help that momma and her two kids feel loved while the guys poured concrete. Maybe I just needed to be a mom and help my girl try to grasp this new perspective in front of us.

Two Guatemalan kids – 11-year-old Angelica and 12-year-old Sergio – had the best smiles that day. Our broken Spanish made them laugh as they kept an eye on the concrete that would become the foundation of their house. And I stood there that evening in their homeland crying.

As our team processed the day during our nightly devotional, we talked about foundations – the literal ones we were building and the spiritual one on which we build our faith. This family was going from having a dirt floor beneath their adobe house to a metal house built upon a concrete slab. Talk about security and improvement.

But sometimes security in Christ comes when we step out of our comfort zone. {Tweet that.}

That’s what I had to do in Guatemala. I eventually dried my tears and decided to let God use me – even if that didn’t look like I expected, even when that made my heart race, even when I wasn’t sure what He would do with the seeds we were planting with our service, prayers, and hugs.

With Jesus as the foundation, we can have hope and assurance there’s goodness to come. {Tweet that.}

We saw Angelica and Sergio the next afternoon when we went to build their house. And two days later Angelica was at another home we were building just down the dirt road among the cornfields from her new house.

When we walked up to build that second home, Angelica looked at me and said “Hola!” like we were friends. There was still a language barrier but we had bonded anyway. And now we had a chance to serve Maria and her four kids, including 9-year-old Brenda. I gave Angelica, Maria and Brenda a bag of embroidery thread. Cate joined them to make friendship bracelets – joining in with much more ease than that first day.

These Guatemalans made Cate, teammate Cheryl, and me beautiful bracelets far superior to our braided ones. And then Maria turned the hacky sack she was crocheting into a pouch for Cate. Yes, it was beautiful and created in love. But it was also a sacrifice because she could have sold the hacky sack at the local market for money for her family. Yet she chose to give it to my girl.

I carried supplies, used a drill, helped hold a wall, and assembled bunk beds that day. I watched a team of people come together and build a house – and relationships with each other. But my favorite moment of the day came when women and girls used thread to make gifts and tie together sweet memories.
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This is the first in my reflections from our mission trip to Guatemala last week. More stories are coming, but until then you can see all my pictures here. 

I'm linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria Gathering and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

God said GO {on going to Guatemala for the week}

It’s Independence Day weekend … and in the morning we’re leaving our comfortable surroundings for a week-long mission trip in Chichicastenango, Guatemala. This time, “we” means Greg, Cate and me. Ben is splitting his week between two grandmas.

Honestly, not traveling as a family of four was my biggest hesitation in committing to this trip in January. But I kept hearing God say, “Go.”

So that’s what we’re doing. When we step out in faith, we don’t always see the whole picture. Five months ago, I wasn’t sure why God was telling us to go now. But then in his goodness, I got to see a glimpse of the master plan. We’re preparing to bring a baby home this fall. I won’t be available to go to Guatemala for the next several years.

God knew this.

I know there could be a thousand other reasons we’re supposed to go now. We may even get to see some of those reasons this week. Or we may have to wait. Regardless, we believe God has called us to do this.

I’m most looking forward to experiencing this mission trip with my husband and my 8-year-old daughter. None of us have done anything like this before, so to do it together is especially exciting. I’m eager to see Cate interact with the other kids in our group and the ones who call Guatemala home.

We’re taking 50-pound suitcases packed with clothes, school supplies, soccer balls, and toiletries to donate. We’re carrying-on our own stuff in smaller suitcases and filling our backpacks with things we think we’ll need throughout the week. But no expectations are packed.

I don’t know what to expect, but I want to be open to whatever and whoever God has for us there.

In recent months, I’ve emailed with Katie, who works for Compassion International as a donor relations manager. This trip to Guatemala isn’t a Compassion trip, which is a thing. Katie and I initially connected in December when Greg and I made a donation and she called to thank me. I emailed her again a few months ago when I was trying to make meeting our Compassion-sponsored girl Roselyn, who lives in Guatemala, happen while we’re there. Sadly, that wouldn’t work out with our mission trip schedule and Compassion’s travel guidelines.

But Katie has been praying for my family as we prepare to go to a country she loves. And she emailed earlier this week to check in. The encouragement and sincerity in her words was so good for me. To know someone I’ve never met in person has invested themselves in our trip has reminded me how God’s Kingdom works.

And then she said this:

“When we are able to approach life and the opportunities the Lord gives us with open hands rather than tight-fisted, he fills those anxious places with so much joy and peace in His presence. It is certainly not an accident that you all will be on this trip, and I know He will work in and through you.”

Y’all, that is my prayer and hope. If you think about us this week, please join us in prayers for our family, for Ben and his time with grandmas, for the people we’ll meet and serve, for the missionaries who live there full time and have given their lives to this, and for traveling mercies.

People have asked what we’ll be doing. We’re going to build three houses, distribute clothes and food, and help with the ministry’s wheelchair distribution program. If you want to join us in specific prayers, below is information about the families for whom we’ll build houses.

I’m looking forward to bringing home stories to share with you. Thanks for being on this journey with us.
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Hope from the weekend

Most Sunday nights I stay up later than I should because I don’t want the weekend to end. Cate has only seven days of school left – although one of those will be spent in Nashville at the zoo and the Aquarium Restaurant – so I’m even more eager than usual to break out of the weekday routine.

This past weekend was full of some particularly sweet, hope-filled moments.

In October 1990, a new family moved next door to my family in Mockingbird Valley subdivision in Oldham County, Kentucky. I don’t remember how long it took Katie and I to become friends, but I’m glad my life since has included her. Since moving out of that neighborhood, we’ve lived hundreds of miles apart, and we’ve lived in the same town. We’ve texted and emailed and talked on the phone. We’ve mailed letters and presents. We’ve been in each other’s weddings and loved on each other’s kids. Even though we aren’t neighbors anymore, we can pick up where we left off when we do get to hang out.

This time we got to hang out for not quite 24 hours. Katie treated me to the gift of time. She sneaked away from her family to come hang out with mine four hours away. We shared meals, caught up with stories, and sat around in our soft pants. She snuggled with my kids and laughed at their jokes.

We parted ways after eating Thai food, but we’ve talked on the phone and texted more than once since Saturday afternoon. Katie has known me and loved me since I was 11 years old. I cherish our history. A little time with her always makes me wish for more but leaves me grateful the conversation we share is ongoing.

The second half of my weekend involved conversations with newer friends with whom I share passions. Hope That Binds had a picnic for its volunteers Saturday evening on a beautiful property in Carlisle County. I’ve loved connecting with this adoption ministry and helping with the quarterly newsletter and some events that connection families who love adoption. The evening was full of adoption stories, many kids who loved the chance to swim even though it wasn’t even 80 degrees, good food, reminders that God created us for community, and hope of what’s to come next.

On Sunday, our Guatemala mission team had a Trades of Hope fundraiser. It was a win-win, for sure. Our friend Becky Lile donated her commission from sales from our party to our team’s fund for the needed supplies for wheelchair distribution, home construction, and food and clothing distribution. Trades of Hope has fabulous fair trade accessories – jewelry, bags, stationary, scarves, home décor – that empower female artisans who are working their way out of poverty. It’s more than charity because these women are taught how to run a sustainable business.

(Actually, the party link will open for at least a few more days, if you’re interested in coming along side us for this fundraiser.)

Hope was the theme – and not just because I spent time with Hope That Binds and Trades of Hope. Seeing hope is choosing joy for my soul. {Tweet that.}

The history of my friendship with Katie – and other friends who have walked through so many different seasons of change with me – gives me hope because those moments then helped make me into who I am now. Meanwhile, new friends offer fresh hope that what we’re doing together now matters.

How are you experiencing hope these days?
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I'm linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering, where hope abounds. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."