Supporting Foster Families {and looking after orphans}

Most people know I became a mom through adoption – three times. I’ve shared that a couple hard years of infertility is how God led Greg and I to adoption. We had no idea what we were getting into, but once we were there, we knew that’s where we were supposed to be.

Adoption wasn’t our Plan B, but infertility was the heartache God used to get our attention. Obviously, not everyone is called to adoption. But God does call his followers to care for the fatherless and orphans.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

–James 1:27

Sometimes caring for orphans does mean growing your family through adoption or foster care, but many times it looks like helping families who are walking through these processes, participating in programs that help feed and clothe orphans, or supporting businesses that give to orphan care.

Through the ministry to adoptive mommas God built up around me, I’ve gotten to learn much about fostering recently. I have friends who have foster babies in their homes right now. I know others who are getting certified so they can serve this way.

I’ve been thinking about how when we – as believers – claim to be pro-life, we have to do more than protest abortion. We don’t have to adopt or foster, but we do have to serve children who need love and moms who are choosing life. And some of those children and mommas are wrapped up in the foster system.

May is National Foster Care Month. So I wanted to share some ways you – wherever you are, whether you’re married or single, regardless of how big your family is – can serve families who are choosing to foster. {Tweet that.}

Show up with a meal. Any time a regular routine is interrupted – even with something happy like new life – it’s hard to get to the grocery, plan meals, and prepare meals. And whatever you bring doesn’t have to be gourmet. Go to the local BBQ restaurant and get enough meat and sides to provide a few meals to the family adjusting to its new normal. Have a pizza delivered to them. Double whatever you’re making for your own family.

Offer specific help. Think about this family’s life and offer to do something specific – go to the grocery, do laundry, sit with the baby so momma can shower, or mow the lawn. Texts that say “Let me know what I can do” are well-intentioned, but saying “I’m at the grocery store, what I can I get you?” are more practical.

Provide care for other children. With the foster system come many appointments (pediatrician checkups, visitation with bio family, etc.) the family doesn’t have much control over. If you know a family who is fostering a little one, offer to help with any older kids in the home.

Be on call to get supplies. Foster situations often happen with little time to spare. If you know someone who suddenly has a new child in the home, offer to run to Walmart to get diapers, formula, clothes, activities, or whatever else that child may need. Children often come into foster homes with almost nothing.

Let parents give gifts. Foster children have a lot of people in and out of their lives. So, if you have something special to give a child, let the parents do that for bonding purposes. Depending on your relationship with the family, you may get a chance to bond with the child too, but give that time.

Understand you may not understand. Even if you weren’t called to foster, your friend was. Be a listening ear and be there for whatever practical support is necessary, but don’t judge the way she’s bonding with a child that may not be in her home forever. This child needs love – and with that comes attachment. Yes, it’s hard. But God doesn’t promise he’ll call us only to easy things. He calls us to sanctify us – and that usually means doing something hard. In fostering, there’s the emotional challenges as well as the complications that come with a flawed system and its logistically issues.

If you do some of these things I shared – or other things that make sense for the people in your life – then you’re serving orphans because your friends need you while they’re in the trenches. And my guess is you’ll get a whole new perspective that draws you nearer to God.
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Thanks for your grace last week when I had a schedule snafu that threw off the post I thought I had prepared for #ThreeWordWednesday. Life happens sometimes. I'm glad to be back this week! And I've got several giveaways opens, if you're want to join me there too: "The League and The Lantern" book for tweens. Jeremy Camp CDs. The new "ESV Family Devotional Bible."

An InLinkz Link-up

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Focus {a Five Minute Friday post}

It's been almost a year since I've joined the Five Minute Friday crew to write. So here I am. The word this week is FOCUS, so I set my timer and focused on this for five minutes. It's straight from my mind to you. And I'm linking up with others at Kate Motaung's place. 

Ready, set, go ... 

{FOCUS}

The week after Christmas break, I had trouble settling back into a routine. Then we had some snow days, and I blamed them the following week for feeling unsettled. And now, here I am, at the beginning of February and I’m still feeling unfocused.

Except I see God working. I’ve been reading some valuable books and having meaningful conversations. Greg and I have been dreaming together and waiting to see how that unfolds. We’ve been soaking in time together as a family in the evenings.

But I get distracted. I want to solve people’s problems, but know I’m not in control of much. But I keep thinking about the friend I know who had to decide whether to terminate her pregnancy because her baby’s brain isn’t developed; the friend whose adoption is suddenly messier and harder than expected; and the friend fighting cancer.

So this unfocused feeling I’m feeling? I think it’s God reshaping some things, shaking up some priorities. The to-do list never ends, but that’s okay. I have more ideas than time. But I’m confident God has me where he wants me. I believe he’s working in my life, even when I can’t seem to get a grip on my day. I’m blessed with people to do this life with me.

Perhaps I should focus on that – and stop blaming the school schedule and the weather.

{And stop.}
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Happy birthday, Jesus! {a party tradition}

We like to celebrate Jesus’ birthday around here.

On Sunday, we gathered friends from different circles and had a birthday party for Jesus because that is the meaning of this season. This is the fifth year we’ve had this event. While each year looks different, the party itself helps kids remember why Christmas matters. We had such a good turnout this year with 47 kids.

{I’ve written about past events before. 2010. 2011. 2012. 2013. And today I'm at Circles of Faith sharing How to Host a Jesus Birthday for your Community. Come join me there!}

We made some crafts (thanks, Oriental Trading!) as people arrived and then Greg led a few carols on his guitar and then read “The First Christmas Night” written by Keith Christopher and illustrated by Christine Kornacki. Everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to Jesus and then we ate cake and ice cream.

Families were encouraged to bring gifts to Jesus. Specifically, we collected canned goods for the local food pantry; first aid and school supplies for Light of the World Ministries, which is working on starting a rescue center in Guatemala; or clothing for Bethel Ministries International to add to its distributions in Guatemala.

On Sunday evening, we were worn out from a full but fun holiday weekend, but I was already brainstorming ideas for next year’s birthday party for Jesus. This is one of those traditions we let go last year because our calendar seemed too full, but I’m glad we made it happen this year. Yes, we do it for the kids, but it certainly helps my weary soul rejoice.

What Christmas tradition in your life do you love?
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Place to Stand {a #ThreeWordWednesday post}

Blogging and building a platform often go hand in hand. Sometimes success is judged on the numbers, like the amount of likes and shares of how many times a post was viewed.

But God is showing me how having a platform isn’t about attracting the masses, but rather it’s about standing on his promises in whatever he’s called me to do.

My platform may be small and local. It probably looks nothing like yours. And that’s okay. In fact, that’s how it’s supposed to be. We each have our part to play, our place to stand. That’s how God is best made known anyway.

I’ve seen pictures of writer friends at conferences. I’ve been invited to gather with like-minded people who write for a contributors’ site in which I’m involved. I’ve hoped to meet people from the Internet in real life or visit the ones I’ve already met.

But God keeps telling me to stay.

He’s showed me where I’m supposed to be. And, yes, I like it here, even though this was never my plan. Here is where my husband and I are together. Here is with my three kids. Here is with my local church, my kids’ school, and friends who are like family. Here is with an adoption community I believe God has called me to help lead.

I like to travel. I like connecting with people I already love. And I like conferences. But sometimes saying no to good things opens the door for God to do great things. {Tweet that.}

And that’s what I want, so I’m saying yes to what God has made clear is my place to be.

For this season in my life, here is my platform. Yes, it looks more like a messy kitchen and chaotic mini van than a stage with pretty lights. My husband and children are my neighbors. My conversations with other adoptive mommas happen on Facebook, in texts, around tables. My service happens in my local community and my kids’ school hallways.

These are the yeses I have no doubts about. And right here is the kind of platform I’m ready to stand on.
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Love had a plan for us

“When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

and how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,

oh, how He loves us,

how He loves us all.”

{Listen here}

We were singing that song in church and I was holding my sleeping Rachel. Cate was on my right side and Ben was not too far down on my left next to Gran-Gran. Greg sat on the other side of Cate. There I was, in the middle of a row of chairs at church in the middle of the family God created.

Our college friend Amber had been sitting in our row too, but by this moment she had already gone to take of the nursery kids. Behind me sat a couple who has loved my family so well and taught me about how the Bible applies to real life; my best friend and her family with whom so much of my life is intertwined; and other dear friends who have been part of my everyday life the past six years in a way that has changed me for the better. This is community.

Tears welled in my eyes because God did this for me. He gave me these people and orchestrated a story of family that extends beyond my house. This journey has looked nothing like I planned when I stopped taking birth control in December 2004.

Cate’s adoption and then Ben’s adoption followed a hard season of infertility. {Here’s a summary.} And then there was a hard adoption season we didn’t expect. We waited for this third child, not knowing if she was going to come. We believed we were supposed to have a third child but we had met so many closed doors I doubted I was hearing God right.

I heard other people’s stories of heartache as they waited to conceive or adopt. I have waited and was waiting, but I wondered if I was being greedy. I regularly wondered: Was it wrong to desire a third child whom I believed God said he would give when I knew so many other women waiting to become a mom for the first time?

I wrestled with it. But I’ve settled on this: God knows what he’s doing and it’s not my job to control the outcome. {Tweet that.} He gave us our third child, in surprise fashion but in accordance with his faithfulness. And that same God is working in my friends’ lives as they wait and learn and trust and believe.

Love had a plan for us and God has one for you too. {Tweet that.}

All of that got us here. Oh how he loves us. He loved us during the hard days and loves us still when we see some of the plan. Rachel is perfect in our family. She belongs here, just like I belong smack dab in the middle of my people.
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In that picture above, our shirts say "Love had a plan for me," which is a line from my favorite Slugs & Bugs' song. Randall Goodgame recently brought Slugs & Bugs back to the Murray area. Hope That Binds hosted the concert as a fundraiser and, y'all, what a joy to have two of my favorite ministries together in one place celebrating families, adoption and the gospel. {You can see all my pictures from the event here.}

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Rejoice, mourn, show up for #ThreeWordWednesday

Adoption creates a community like no other. I’ve talked before about how my relationships with birth moms are unlike any other relationships I’ve experienced – and more specifically what that looked like this time. And then, hopefully, there is the larger community that comes alongside and embraces the process.

Since Rachel was born Sept. 19, people have showed up at our house, on Facebook, at the bus stop, and in the mail box with kind words, gifts and meals. They’ve wanted to hold Rachel and hear more of our story – how we are doing, how the hospital stay was, what Rachel is like, how Cate and Ben are adjusting.

They have embraced us as a family of five and the process of adoption. They have offered prayers for Rachel’s birth mom, understanding our celebration is just one side of the story.

I’m reminded about when my father-in-law Gary unexpectedly died in April 2010 and our people took care of us. Yes, we were surprised by his death, but we were also pleasantly surprised by how people held us together. Talk about bittersweet.

Greg and I have always believed in doing life with our friends, but those days leading up to the funeral and the ones after, people showed up with their words, meals, help and love.

Birth and death really do rally a community and remind me of Romans 12:15 :: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

And now, as I sit here with a newborn baby, I’m reminded about how we shouldn’t limit our showing up to birth and death. {Tweet that.} We should show up on the hard days that don’t make sense, the confusing ones that we can’t solve, the happy ones that leave our belly hurting from all the laughter – and all of the days between.
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Speaking of adoption and community, I’ve started an adoption community online. It’s a private Facebook group, where those of us who have adopted or are in the process of doing so gather together to share resources, prayer requests, and adoption happenings.

I’ve long prayed God would use our story to encourage other families and it’s exciting to see that happening. If you or someone you know could benefit from such an adoption group, let me know and I’ll be happy to send an invite to you.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I'm linking up with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Run for life

Toward the end of last week, Cate started talking about running in a local 5K. I didn’t want to discourage her from doing so, but I wasn’t sure how that would go for my 8-year-old girl who had never done anything like this. So the day before our favorite local 5K, I decided to run too. Y’all, I hadn’t run since the same race THE YEAR BEFORE.

Life House Care Center’s Run for Life is our favorite 5K because it’s our favorite cause. Life House helps women choose life for the babies growing inside them. Life House offers women counseling and resources to prepare them for motherhood or adoption and provides support to women who didn’t choose life in the past. Greg serves on the board and helps organize the run. We’ve given diapers, money, and even the crib we didn’t think we needed any more to this organization so they can help more women and babies.

So, if I’m going to run in a 5K, this is the one I would choose every time.

I told Cate about the course and how she should be careful not to start out too fast. She didn’t seem unsure – especially when her cousin and a friend from church were going to run too. I loved seeing her excitement about this.

She took off at the start – so fast I tried yelling her name to tell her to slow down. But she couldn’t hear me. So I just jogged in the pack behind her. I could see the edges of her pink shorts beneath her too-big T-shirt she’d gotten when we signed her up to run.

Cate ran and walked and ran some more. And I’m sure she talked the whole way. She followed the group of runners in front of her and glanced behind her toward me. She told me later about the people she met on certain stretches of the 3.1 miles.

I hadn’t run in a year, but I ran the first three-fourths of a mile before slowing to a walk for a while. Then I ran more. I chatted with an acquaintance who was running her first-ever 5K. I thought about these women who face crisis pregnancies but choose life anyway.

And it took me about 2.5 miles to get close to my daughter again. I cheered for her run the last stretch toward the finish line. And then I finished not too far behind her.

My son – who had run a much shorter kids Fun Run earlier in the morning and already declared his intention to run next year – met me at the finish line with a bottle of water. I don’t really like running, but there’s nothing like finishing.

I heard people cheering for me – even though I was among the slower people to finish – and imagined that’s like the great crowd of witnesses that encourages us in the race God has for us (Hebrews 12:1).

The race we’re called to run isn’t always easy. But it’s marked with such goodness. {Tweet that.}

Keeping up with my daughter wasn’t really an option for most of those 3.1 miles, but seeing her independence and excitement brought much joy to my momma heart. Finishing the race marked before me gave me a sense of accomplishment that will encourage me in other endeavors.

In that sense, running is much like faith. Let’s keep going.
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I wrote about this race last year too. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Hope from the weekend

Most Sunday nights I stay up later than I should because I don’t want the weekend to end. Cate has only seven days of school left – although one of those will be spent in Nashville at the zoo and the Aquarium Restaurant – so I’m even more eager than usual to break out of the weekday routine.

This past weekend was full of some particularly sweet, hope-filled moments.

In October 1990, a new family moved next door to my family in Mockingbird Valley subdivision in Oldham County, Kentucky. I don’t remember how long it took Katie and I to become friends, but I’m glad my life since has included her. Since moving out of that neighborhood, we’ve lived hundreds of miles apart, and we’ve lived in the same town. We’ve texted and emailed and talked on the phone. We’ve mailed letters and presents. We’ve been in each other’s weddings and loved on each other’s kids. Even though we aren’t neighbors anymore, we can pick up where we left off when we do get to hang out.

This time we got to hang out for not quite 24 hours. Katie treated me to the gift of time. She sneaked away from her family to come hang out with mine four hours away. We shared meals, caught up with stories, and sat around in our soft pants. She snuggled with my kids and laughed at their jokes.

We parted ways after eating Thai food, but we’ve talked on the phone and texted more than once since Saturday afternoon. Katie has known me and loved me since I was 11 years old. I cherish our history. A little time with her always makes me wish for more but leaves me grateful the conversation we share is ongoing.

The second half of my weekend involved conversations with newer friends with whom I share passions. Hope That Binds had a picnic for its volunteers Saturday evening on a beautiful property in Carlisle County. I’ve loved connecting with this adoption ministry and helping with the quarterly newsletter and some events that connection families who love adoption. The evening was full of adoption stories, many kids who loved the chance to swim even though it wasn’t even 80 degrees, good food, reminders that God created us for community, and hope of what’s to come next.

On Sunday, our Guatemala mission team had a Trades of Hope fundraiser. It was a win-win, for sure. Our friend Becky Lile donated her commission from sales from our party to our team’s fund for the needed supplies for wheelchair distribution, home construction, and food and clothing distribution. Trades of Hope has fabulous fair trade accessories – jewelry, bags, stationary, scarves, home décor – that empower female artisans who are working their way out of poverty. It’s more than charity because these women are taught how to run a sustainable business.

(Actually, the party link will open for at least a few more days, if you’re interested in coming along side us for this fundraiser.)

Hope was the theme – and not just because I spent time with Hope That Binds and Trades of Hope. Seeing hope is choosing joy for my soul. {Tweet that.}

The history of my friendship with Katie – and other friends who have walked through so many different seasons of change with me – gives me hope because those moments then helped make me into who I am now. Meanwhile, new friends offer fresh hope that what we’re doing together now matters.

How are you experiencing hope these days?
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I'm linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering, where hope abounds. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

10 Things I Learned While Camping {April 2015}

We went camping with our best friends the second weekend of Spring Break. It's funny, really, because I used to say I didn't like to camp and now I'm finding myself thinking about when we're going again. {See Facebook conversation for more thoughts on my preparations and opinions of camping.} But before next time happens, I want to document this time ... with a list, of course!

1. I don't like mice, but tent camping is okay. Yes, they're related.

The plan was for Jaclyn and I to sleep in the RV bed while our three girls slept on the sofa bed in the RV and our husbands and boys slept in tents. And then Friday evening I saw a mouse run beside the bed.

We’d seen evidence of a mouse – mice? – but I was choosing to be in denial it – they? – were still in the RV with us. But then I couldn’t un-see the mouse.

So I shared an air mattress bed with my husband. Yes, being outside trumped being inside with a mouse – even when the air mattress deflated. I spent the second night in the tent again – and this time the air mattress stayed inflated.

2. Having a massage appointment scheduled the day after arriving home from tent camping two nights is a good idea. Okay, so I didn’t plan it. But it worked out well, especially for my lower back.

Each month, I go to these massage appointments and Hannah the masseuse asks me if anything new is bothering me. I usually say, “No. Same tight neck and shoulders.”

But on this particular Monday my response was different: “Yeah, my lower back is killing me. I tent camped two nights.” She’d seen the tent camping part of the story on Facebook, so I’m guessing she wasn’t surprised. Apparently that air mattress – whether deflated or not – messed up my back and requires a follow-up appointment.

And here I was excited my sometimes nagging shoulder wasn’t bothering me after sleeping on the ground.

3. A Kindle makes for good nighttime reading – and doubles as a flashlight.

Well, yes, there was daytime reading too. 

I finished reading “Nobody's Cuter than You: A Memoir About the Beauty of Friendship” by Melanie Shankle, read “Footsteps” by Diann Mills and “Target” by Lisa Phillips, and started “Bait” also by Phillips. The two Lisa Phillips’ books are part of a fictional suspense series that had a little romance too.

4. Parenting one almost 8-year-old girl who is a people-pleasing rule-follower is a like a vacation. But I missed my 5-year-old second-born who likes to push every boundary and requires a constant, watchful eye, especially near the lake.

{Yes, this is part of how I did so much reading. See #9 for another reason.}

Ben was with Gran-Gran – aka The Best Mother-in-Law Ever – the first night of camping because he had been diagnosed with strep throat {yes, again … fifth time since Dec. 26} earlier that same day. The diagnosis came the day after we had been at the ENT scheduling his tonsillectomy for April 28. So he needed to be on an antibiotic until he hung out with other kids.

Gran-Gran and Ben had a splendid time that apparently involved flying a kite, eating ice cream, and watching a movie. Then she brought him out to our campsite by lunch time Saturday so he didn’t miss out on the camping fun.

5. I can text really long messages. And 25 years of friendship can happen across the miles.

Camping came on the heels of a Spring Break that gave me time to overanalyze and internalize too much. That led me wanting to chat and laugh and cry with Katie, whom I’d thankfully gotten to spend some time with the previous weekend when we were in Louisville. We had played phone tag and exchanged some texts, but we both apparently finally had time to converse Friday night. I didn’t have a strong or consistent-enough cell signal to talk to her, but texts were going through.

So that’s what we did. Sometimes that’s how life happens.

6. Bacon, sausage, pancakes, kabobs, burgers, and red potatoes are especially good cooked on the fire. And the husbands like to cook. Perhaps I should set up a campfire in the back yard. Enough said.

7. You can get sunburned in April. And, obviously, we didn’t think to pack sunscreen.

8. Camping requires so much preparation, but it's like a retreat once I'm out there. I used to think I didn’t like to camp. And until Friday I thought I didn’t tent camp. I’m glad I’ve accepted that I like to camp and I’m becoming better with the preparations.

9. Kids belong outdoors. Well, okay, maybe not forever and always, but when they're out there, they play and then sleep so well. This past weekend, they played tag and washers, fished, read, talked with their friends and other campers, and explored.

10. Having family friends really is the best. Yes, I got to spend the weekend with Jaclyn and most of Saturday with Sarah, but my kids and husbands got to hang out with some of their best friends too. Turns out camping is a fabulous way to make memories together.

Your turn! Tell me about your camping experiences.
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I'm linking up with Emily Freeman's Chatting at the Sky. 

Here are previous Things I Learned posts :: {From 2013} June. July. August. September. October. November. {From 2014} January. February. March. April. May. June. July. August. September. October. November. December. {From 2015} January. February. March. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Post includes affiliate links. 

Three Word Wednesday :: Fullness versus busyness

My friend Kayse and I were chatting about our ordinary lives recently and she commented that it sounded like a full week in a good way.

She nailed it.

My life feels full right now.

But I'm learning full is different and healthier than busy.

We have some boundaries on our lives. The kids are allowed one extracurricular activity at a time. We make every effort to eat dinner together, even if that's at Subway after soccer practice.

We just got back from a fun visit to Louisville, where we hung out with my mom, my brother and his family, and my dear friend of almost 25 years Katie and her boys. We had an impromptu visit with a high school friend and his wife who were in town and joined us just in time for Kentucky’s Final Four game. We’re going camping with our best friends this weekend.

We are fundraising for a Guatemala trip, planning birthday parties because three of the four of us have birthdays within two weeks from late April to early May, engaging with local ministry opportunities, and making time to be with family and help friends.

These things fill our calendars but I’m not letting any of them go right now. I believe in everything we’re doing right now. And I believe we’re supposed to be doing it.

Seasons come and go in life. Not every one will feel this full. {Tweet that.}

Trips are temporary but worth the journey. Our birthday celebrations will be over before school is out for the summer, but these are part of the memories of our lives. We come home from Guatemala on July 11, but I know we’ll have a new perspective.

With the fullness comes unique opportunities to see God working – especially in my recovering perfectionist self.

Within the fullness, I've been able to find some stillness. Recently I told my friend Jen sometimes rest comes in chunks of time following a packed day. Right now, Mondays and Wednesdays tend to be fuller than Thursdays. The summer is bound to look different. And then in August both my kids will be in school full time.

I know I need the time to take deep breathes, do laundry, and regroup my soul, so I clear out time for that. Some evenings I need to clean off the kitchen table before I sit down on the couch because it keeps me from being stressed out. But sometimes the dishes sit next to the sink for a day or two.

I don't say yes to every good thing. And not every good thing in our lives is forever. {Tweet that.}

That's the beauty of seasons. Remembering that helps me embrace my full life right now.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I'm also linking up with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Three Word Wednesday :: Celebrating In Community

I talk about plans and community around here quite a bit, so I thought today I’d let you share in one of our latest celebrations.

Our girls were babies when we became friends. We can’t remember exactly, but Cate wasn’t walking, so she wasn’t much more than a year, if that. Surely we aren’t the only parents who keep time by their kids’ milestones. 

Since then the Gachokas have been part of one of small groups from church that has since dissolved for reasons that had nothing to do with friendship, sat around the table with us for Thanksgiving dinner and many other meals, and more recently piled into our minivan for road trips to Racer games. Daniel and Greg have gone hunting together and coach our girls’ soccer team together.

When Daniel told us he was studying to take the U.S. citizenship test, I knew this would be an occasion worth celebrating. I mentioned a party and Daniel quipped, “Like the adoption party you had for your kids.”

Hence, the America Adopts Daniel Party!

I’m not sure I can express how much fun I had planning this one. Starting with the invitations …

… and continuing with the menu, playlist, and game.

Not everyone who had planned to come was actually able to, so we had lots of leftovers. We ate burgers, pasta salad, and homemade mac and cheese the next day. We had hot dogs for another meal.

But the leftovers were more than food. The leftover laughter and friendship also filled my camera roll and will be part of our stories.

The dishes piled high and the crumbs covered many floors and counters, but I didn’t mind because the night was fun. This party was a plan that I’m glad happened. This party celebrated one guy’s milestone, but it encompassed a shared history and friendships that are built over time. And that's the beauty of community.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I'm linking this up with Jessica Turner's Fringe Friday because planning parties is one thing I love to do with my time. Celebrating in community helps care for my soul. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

The Beauty of Technology

I used to laugh (at least on the inside) when people met online. I didn’t understand how real connections could be formed like that.

I take it back.

I’m sorry I laughed, even if nobody actually heard me. I’m sorry I doubted the authenticity of the relationship just because it deepened through emails and Facebook messages.

My perception changed because some of the best encouragement in my life comes through emails, texts, Voxes, Facebook messages, tweets, and comments on my blog post. These friends of mine have prayed for me. They’ve promoted my ebook and sent real cards and gifts to my front porch. We may have met online, but they’ve shown up in real life – even if there are still some of them I’ve yet to meet in person.

These friendships are the beauty of technology.

I like Facebook for how it connects. I like my iPhone for how it makes the world a smaller place. Emails are like ongoing conversations with people I wish could be my neighbor. Plus technology helps maintain connections with people who used to live near and even those who still do.

Thankfully, I’ve got some amazing real-life friends who can actually come around my table to share meals and lives. I’d be lost without them. That’s why I didn’t think I needed to make friends online too.

But this new community I’ve found goes beyond pixels and font size. They’re another layer of encouragement to not grow weary in life and inspiration to continue telling my story. They pray for the people, sicknesses, conflicts, hurts, and decisions that are part of my real life. They praise God when healing comes and love is shown in my everyday life.

Just the other day my husband and I – who met long before we even had cells phones – were talking about how sometimes real life is hard. During those times, the prayers of people who aren’t right in the middle of the everyday-ness are blessings.

My family went with me to meet one of my favorite online encouragers when we were in Texas a little more than a year ago. I think they all thought I was a little crazy for wanting to go spend time with someone I’d never met in person. But they – and me! – have realized the in-person meetings can certainly happen after the friendship is already developed.

In March 2014, I spent the whole weekend with writer friends from what started as an online book launch group. Then my family and I met another favorite online friend of mine when we were in Chicago last spring. That time together wasn’t awkward like you may think it could be. In fact, it took our friendship to a deeper level – as did my other in-person meetings with online friends.
I have plans to meet up with a group of my blogging friends this summer. Yes, we connected through blogging, but our friendships go beyond that now.

I may have met all these folks and others online, but they’re real friends. They make me grateful I didn’t remain stubborn, laughing at the idea people could meet while sitting at their own computers. These blessings came when I decided to open up my life to community online, thanks to technology at its finest.
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I'm linking up this post with The High Calling, where others are sharing their technology stories, and Lyli Dunbar's Thought-Provoking Thursday. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Five Minute Friday} Share

It's been a long time since I joined the Five Minute Friday link up. {See? Only twice in 2014. And not since Kate Motaung started hosting it.} But this morning when I was scrolling through my phone in bed, when the house was still quiet, I saw the prompt {SHARE} and I knew I had to write. So I did. On my phone. In the dark. All of that sort of signified what I wanted to say. Yes, sometimes there's is darkness, but we don't have to be in it alone. 

If you don't know about Five-Minute Friday, it's a community of writers who each write for five minutes on the same word. Come join us. 

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We spend so much time teaching our kids to share their toys and their space. We want then to share their emotions using words. Sharing becomes the goal in life.

Now that I'm a grown up, I believe in community. It's a way if life I certainly want to share with my kids. In community, we share. We share the space around our table. We share our stories.

But what happens when people you love dearly are walking down a hard road? We share that too. We share grief and tears. And we share hope that God redeems.

It's a sharing I wasn't prepared for, but one I realize I believe in. As I've shared a hard road with a friend recently, I've been thinking about a passage from Jen Hatmaker's "Interrupted: When Jesus Wrecks Your Comfortable Christianity" ::

"Doesn’t this concept of being broken for others ring true? It’s a spiritual dynamic that bears out physically. Why is it so exhausting to uphold someone’s heavy, inconvenient burden? Why are we spent from shouldering someone’s grief or being an armor bearer? Why is it that lifting someone out of his or her rubble leaves us breathless? Because we are the body of Christ, broken and poured out, just as He was. ... Mercy has a cost: someone must be broken for someone else to be fed. The sermon that changed your life? That messenger was poured out so you could hear it. The friends who stood in the gap during your crisis? They embraced some sacrifice of brokenness for your healing. Anytime you say, 'That fed me, that nourished me,' someone was the broken bread for your fulfillment."

Sharing isn't always easy, but it always has a purpose.
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Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

On sickness, colored lights & miracles

My girl has had a fever for seven out of the last eight days. 

She started running a fever when we got home from Nashville. It wasn’t surprised because that’s what being around a bunch of cousins always does! I ended up taking her to the doctor the next day because THREE of the said cousins had strep throat.

Turns out, Cate did not have strep throat. She had walking pneumonia. I would have preferred strep, but, hey, I don’t get to choose these things. So the treatment plan was azithromycin, ibuprofen, and albuterol. Wednesday morning she seemed to go to school, and that’s what the nurse practitioner had indicated would probably be the case. She said to call back if she was still running a fever on Wednesday.

On Thursday while I was with Greg at a holiday lunch at our local crisis pregnancy center that we support, the lady from the school office called to tell us Cate wasn’t feeling well. I went to pick her about two hours early and learned she had a fever again.

For as long as she’s been talking, Cate’s always said her eyes hurt when she has a fever. Sure enough, her eyes were hurting again Thursday.

And they’ve basically hurt since. The fever has come down when there’s ibuprofen in her system, but when that wears off, it’s been getting up to 102 regularly and even 104 on Friday night. We did go back to the doctor on Thursday – you know, because we were supposed to call. Flu and strep tests were negative, thankfully, but blood work revealed something viral going on.

So while recovering from walking pneumonia, Cate also picked up a virus of some sort.

Part of me says, “Well, ‘tis the season for all these germs.” But the other part of me is remembering October, when she also had a virus that prompted a high fever and kept her home from school for days. Enough is enough.

This weekend was pretty much all about Christmas – and I hated that Cate had to miss out. She got a little sad Saturday morning when she realized she was going to miss out, but I couldn’t blame her because I was a little sad myself. And, y’all, she’s been the best patient possible while rotting her brain on continuous episodes of “My Little Pony.”

I took Ben to the local Christmas parade, where we met up with some cousins and friends. And then we all went with our friends the Goodriches for our fourth annual tree hunt. It’s become a family favorite tradition – and the Goodriches didn’t care Cate had a slight fever. Plus, it was as low as it had been for as long as it been … until it decided to spike back up yesterday evening. She did get some one-on-one time with Gran-Gran while Greg, Ben and I went to watch our Murray State Racers beat in-state rival Western Kentucky.

Back to the tree ... Last year our tree was so big we had to keep trimming it so it would fit in our living room. It was wild and crazy. I loved it. But, you know, I love our tree this year too. Cate picked it out, which is likely the highlight of her sickly week. It’s a smaller tree, more like Charlie Brown’s and less like the Griswold’s, and will forever be remembered as the EASIEST TREE I’VE EVER PUT UP IN ALL MY LIFE. Y’all, that’s quite a title, but it’s true. It’s little branches can’t even hold all of our ornaments, so we chose to leave the heavy ones off.

Although I did for an instant wish we had white lights – which we did at some point. But Christmas lights don’t last forever. In fact, I threw away a strand today. I can’t deal with those tiny bulbs that go out and kill the whole strands. Last year, that big tree I mentioned required Greg to make a run to Big Lots to get some extra lights.

Anyway, our tree is pretty. And it fits right in with this less-is-more idea God keeps putting on my heart this Christmas season. I’m going to elaborate on that another day.

{Read about our tree hunts from 2011, 2012, and 2013.}

Meanwhile, I just keep praying Ben stays well. It’s a miracle, really, he hasn’t picked up anything yet. He had strep in October, but otherwise has managed to stay healthy. I realize I probably shouldn’t speak that aloud, but, hey, I’m craving conversation.

I say that like I haven’t enjoyed all this time at home. But, really, I have. I’ve purged, organized, cleaned, stuffed and addressed Christmas letters, scrapbooked, and read.

Side note: In eight days starting with Thanksgiving, I read FOUR FICTION BOOKS. Along with Ben staying well, it’s a miracle. I devoured the series by Dani Pettrey and pretty much want to hang out with her main characters, the McKennas now. Of course, they live in Alaska, which I’m not sure I can handle right now. You know, all that literal darkness and coldness. And there are probably more germs I don’t need to be around.
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Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

From our table to yours ...

The same year Ben was born our small group from church started a tradition. I'm not sure we knew it was going to be a tradition, but this group – equal parts kids and adults – gathered around a table for a Thanksgiving meal.

That was 2009. And, actually, Greg and I didn't get to go because Ben was born that Monday afternoon. We brought him home that Tuesday afternoon, just hours before they had our first Thanksgiving. Not only did we not go, but my friend Sarah – who had a boy just shy of a month old – made the green bean casserole I was supposed to bring. And then our friends brought us plates overflowing with delicious food. We weren't at the actual table with them that first year, but we were with them and they were with us.

Community works that way.

Four years later, we still gathered around the table for a Thanksgiving meal – and that time I broke out my china plates for the first time. For 11 years and 3 months, that china has been sitting around, supposedly waiting for a "special occasion." Truth be told, I was persuaded to register for the china and really wouldn't regret had I not added it. But I have it. And I decided having it sit there was pointless.

Really, everyday community is a special occasion.

We're not technically in an official small group with these people because we scattered to build relationships with other generations in our church, but these people are our community. We've mourned and prayed and dreamed and hoped and planned and played and cheered and cried and laughed.

My girlfriends even washed by hand the china plates I probably would have put in the dishwasher. They're into the ordinary details like that. They're helpful like that. We're in this life together like that.

{An excerpt from “Peace in the Process,” which is 

on sale for $2.99 for a few more days at Amazon}

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So the tradition continued this year. The Sixth Annual Thanksgiving Dinner with Friends. Seems like we could come up with a better title, but that’s all I’ve got right now.

We’ve talked about going away from the traditional turkey, stuffing, veggies, and pies meal, but our Kenyan friend Daniel really loves this American holiday. This year I had a 15-pound turkey in my freezer because it was Greg’s prize for winning a target shooting contest at our church’s annual fall party.

So I volunteered to make the turkey.

I should note: This is the first time ever I’ve attempted to cook a turkey. And I think I’ll retire from cooking any more full-sized birds. You’ll see why.

The turkey thawed in my refrigerator for days. I studied the recipe for a moist turkey from my friend Corrie. I did wonder if cooking something whose steps had to be noted on my calendar was going to be worth it.

A day before cooking, I soaked the turkey in brine. I didn’t anticipate how much I would hate lifting the turkey out of the brine. Usually raw meat doesn’t bother me, but I’d never had to lift and hold an entire animal body, with bones and joints. I cringed while I dumped the brine out of the turkey’s body and moved the bird to the foil roaster pan.

I sliced up the orange, lemon, and onion to stuff inside. I cringed then too. But I was still motivated to do this well. Corrie recommended cooking the turkey breast-side down so the white meat would be moist, cooking directly in the juice. So that’s what I did. Everything was situated to go in the oven when I realized juice was leaking out of my pan and all over the stove. I ended up putting the pan on a towel in my refrigerator while I ran to Dollar General to get another pan.

Into the oven it went.

After about an hour, I checked on the turkey and spooned some of the juice over the turkey. I realized then my meat thermometer didn’t work and I somehow slit the foil pan as I was putting it back in the oven. The second pan. Another slit.

I had to leave the house to pick up Cate from school, so I put the pan on the cookie sheet and continued baking the bird. I realized as I was driving to school that the pop-when-done button that I wasn’t even relying on was slitting the pan because I was cooking the turkey breast-side down. I should have taken that button out, but I didn’t think about that, obviously.

I called and vented to Greg, who was busy at work. He tried to be encouraging: “Next time you’ll be better equipped.” Um, there’s not going to be a next time.

And then Ben said, “Momma, I heard you say a bad word about the turkey.” I asked him what that was exactly. “Stupid.” Honestly, I’m glad that’s all he heard because I’m pretty sure I muttered many other words in my head.

I texted with my vegetarian friend Sarah, who was sympathetic to the whole ordeal, and she mentioned she had cooked a turkey in a large Pyrex dish. I had one bigger than a 9x13, so I figured it was worth a try. The turkey fit – barely.

So I got a new meat thermometer from Kroger and put the turkey back in the oven {again} in a new, more secure pan. I had borrowed an electric carving knife from Jaclyn, but once that turkey was finished cooking, I was done.

Thankfully, Sarah’s husband Nathan volunteered to carve the turkey when they arrived. He also saved the gravy that I couldn’t get to thicken. I would have used the gravy packet that came with the turkey, but it somehow leaked all over my counter and under my microwave. So I went with turkey juice, flour, and milk. Clearly I didn’t know what I was doing, so Nathan and some corn starch solved the problem.

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I had my turkey chaos. Greg ended his work day with a leak in his office basement. There was a weird smell in my kitchen. Jaclyn’s husband Bryan was still working when the rest of us were eating dinner. Greg had to leave for the city council meeting we had forgotten about when we picked the dinner date. Sarah and Nathan had dealt with non-functioning heat at their house earlier in the day. Kayla and Daniel seemed to have less chaos in this particular day, although their daughter was at dance class for the first part of the evening.

But we gathered around the table. I even got out the china again. Our nine kids who are 18 months to 8 years old gathered on a blanket in the living room, using paper plates. Yes, sometimes real life is chaotic, but we’re thankful anyway. God’s goodness abounds – even when there are messes and inconveniences and hard days.

Happy Thanksgiving, from our crazy table to yours.
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Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is on sale for $2.99 at Amazon for a few more days. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Why Adoption Awareness Month Matters – to everyone

Not everyone will adopt – and that’s okay. God certainly doesn’t call every family to the same thing, but he does encourage all of us to help the least of these, which includes orphans that may never have a family to meet their basic needs or families in your communities who need extra help to survive.

National Adoption Awareness Month is a good time to think about these orphans. Regardless of where you live or how much money you have, there are plenty of ways you can serve these children who are loved and wanted and chosen by the Creator of the world.

COMPASSION INTERNATIONAL :: Yes, you can sponsor a child for $38 a month and ensure medical, physical, educational and spiritual needs are met for a particular child. This sponsorship becomes a relationship as letters are exchanged. My kids especially love when our two sponsored kids draw us pictures. Coloring is a universal language, apparently.

But if you can't or already do sponsor a child, you can also make one-time donations to help with critical needs. We especially love gifting families and communities items from the gift catalog.

You can also give to the Child Survival Program. These centers help babies who aren't old enough for the monthly sponsorship program and their mothers. So you donation would help prevent illnesses with medical check-ups and immunizations, provide nutrition for pregnant women and babies, prepare moms with child-care training, and proclaim Jesus to these women in poverty.

SAMARITAN’S PURSE :: This is the ministry that organizes Operation Christmas Child, which sends shoe boxes packed with toiletries and treats to children in more than 130 countries. Samaritan's Purse has worked with local churches and other ministries to send these shoe box gifts to more than 100 million kids since 1993.

This year, the shoe boxes are being collected at local sites this week. You can find out what to pack inside the shoe boxes, where they can be dropped off, and where they are shipped at the Operation Christmas Child website. We stuffed shoe boxes with friends from church last week. It's a great way to get kids involved in giving and make a difference in someone else’s life.

We’ve also purchased items from Samaritan’s Purse gift catalog.

LOCAL CRISIS PREGNANCY CENTERS :: We love how the staff at our local crisis pregnancy center values life and encourages mothers. Donations and volunteers are always welcome. And this doesn’t always mean going out and buying something. When my kids would move out of a diaper size but I still had unused diapers in that size, I just bagged them up and dropped them off. The staff here sorts them and re-bundles them. We also donated our crib when we no longer needed that piece of furniture.

FAMILIES WHO ARE ADOPTING :: Having been there, adoption processes are better endured with friends. We had friends pray, help with fund-raisers, write letters of recommendation, and encourage. They came alongside of us and shared in the journey.

FAMILIES WHO ARE FOSTERING :: Sometimes families who foster become home to a child with such little notice, meaning they don’t always have the right sized clothes. I’ve saved tubs of my kids clothes as they out grow them, but I like to pass them along to other families who can use them. From what I’ve heard about the foster system, families venture down a sometimes rocky road when they open their home – sometimes for a short time and sometimes forever – to these children. Not only are they adding a person into their family, but they’re navigating a bureaucratic system that seems to cause frustrations and disruptions.

LOCAL FOOD PANTRIES :: If you’re in Calloway County, the Needline Food Project is an easy, consistent way to help families whose cabinets may be bare. Every other month, a neighborhood coordinator will come pick up your bag of groceries and deliver it to Needline. My family picks up extra canned goods when we do our regular grocery shopping and even the kids understand it’s a way to give back to our neighbors.

This time of the year there are extra opportunities to give through various gift collections. Each of us can’t participate in them all, but we can all give in some way. I encourage you to find a way that fits your family, build some traditions around helping the least of these, and support those in the process of expanding their families.
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In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, my ebook "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is on sale for $2.99 at Amazon. I'm sharing an excerpt about how God hears the desires of our hearts regardless of our words at Mandy's Hearts Undaunted blog today. Come join me there!

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Camping out in community

My boy wanted to go camping for his fifth birthday. {I’m going to discuss camping in this post, not so much how I can’t believe we’re even discussing Ben turning 5 …} But November 23 is a little risky for camping in Kentucky. It could be lovely weather. Or it could be bitterly cold. So months ago, we decided to go camping the second weekend of November. It seemed safer.

Turns out, the weather was chilly – mid-50s during the day and into the 30s overnight. But both the weekend before and forecast for the upcoming weekend were even colder. Score one for Mother Nature, really.

But my boy had a blast. And so did the rest of the family.

We went with our best friends. Boys slept in tents and girls slept in the RV my mother-in-law graciously let us borrow because, really, I don’t sleep in tents. My pregnant friend Sarah and her 18-month-old daughter braved a tent with her husband and two boys the first night and decided to join us inside the second time. She pretty much wins a Mom of the Year badge for camping while pregnant and with a toddler.

The other seven kids were 8 and younger, if you’re keeping up with the group.

We did all the camping stereotypes – roasted marshmallows for s’mores, roasted hot dogs, grilled burgers, went on walks, checked out the lake, and got up each morning with the sun. We layered our clothes and nobody really complained about it being cold. We ate well and talked much.

And two other families who have boys my boy’s age joined us for a lunchtime birthday party on Saturday. That’s when we roasted hot dogs and sang “Happy Birthday” to Ben two weeks and one day early. They boys played football and shot at a foam target with Ben’s new bow and arrow set that he’s thanked me for 18 times since. {Daddy wins for picking out that gift!}

When the guys had taken all the kids {well done!} to play on the baseball and soccer fields, Sarah, Jaclyn and I sat around and talked. We discussed what we’d do different next time – such as not try to prep a few of the foods we attempted in that itty-bitty RV kitchen. But the fact we were discussing “next time” means this time was a success.

This is a subject people seem to have opinions about. So, do you like the camp?
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Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Out there where God calms my soul

I loved my view this weekend.

Greg kept calling it a lake, but I disputed that and referred to the body of were as a big pond. I have no idea if there’s a scientific difference, but we’re both stubborn like that.

I used to say I didn’t like the country. But now I sometimes dream about the quiet out there. Out there isn’t a specific place, but it’s away from the hustle and bustle that happens even a small town. It’s out of my extroverted comfort zone. It’s where life moves slower.

My out there involves water. I may live in a landlocked state without an ocean, but lakes are peaceful too. No, oceans and lakes aren’t the same, but both sing God’s glory.

And calm my soul.

My specific view Saturday involved my husband fishing off a pontoon, the kids going back and forth between fishing and talking about everything that came to their curious minds, my eyes reading the pages of my fiction book, Cate building a sand castle, sharing lunch around a picnic table, Ben playing in mud and then cleaning himself by swimming, Ben discovering the echo out there, and my mother-in-law gracefully joining us in the adventure.

But it wasn’t just around that lake/pond that offered a soul-filling view this past weekend. We had friends over three nights in a row. Another view I love: People around my table. We fed them with food and they fed me with conversation and community.

It’s a new week with another weekend on the horizon. I’m guessing God has all sorts of views ready for me and I don’t want to miss them.

Tell me about a view in your life you’ve loved lately.
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Messes into messages

Over dinner last week, three friends and I discussed old-fashioned, paper planners, which we still use. I actually started a new one this month. There's something fresh about clean pages to begin the next 18 months.

Thing is, my life usually doesn't look like my calendar. Sometimes the best laid plans aren't the best. A week ago, my calendar reminded me God's got the details figured out.

While walking into the hospital for my daughter's ENT-related appointment, we ran into an attorney friend who offered unsolicited but valuable advice.

Then my kids were invited to a friend's house about an hour after I realized I need childcare to me available for a dear friend walking through a hard season.

The encounter and text invitation were divinely timed. They impacted Tuesday and the days to come. And, you know, I originally thought the kids and I would be spending last Tuesday at a nearby water park.

Of course, I didn't realize it would be 75 degrees in mid-July. The Maker of it all – our calendar, our relationships, the weather and the universe – still manages to surprise us in such delightful ways.

While God's been orchestrating details, I've been learning about an even deeper level of community. Darkness does that sometimes. Light can be easier to find when people come together and trust each other with their stories.

My heart has been heavy for some people who have been walking through darkness. A friend's marriage is crumbling. A woman I've gotten to know recently is starting over as the program that was helping her abandoned its mission, but, thankfully, she’s still committed to healing. A college friend shared with me a mental health past I didn't realize he had that is still affecting his life today. Another college friend struggled with infertility and is now hoping all goes well with the babies – yes, plural – growing inside her after a successful IVF procedure.

These people aren't satisfied to stay in the darkness. They're taking steps toward healing and protecting and surviving. But like a Casting Crowns song says, life isn't about surviving but rather thriving.

Here in this worn and weary land

Where many a dream has died

Like a tree planted by the water

We never will run dry

So living water flowing through

God, we thirst for more of You

Fill our hearts and flood our souls with one desire

Just to know You and to make You known

We lift Your name on high

Shine like the sun, make darkness run and hide

We know we were made for 

so much more than ordinary lives

It’s time for us to more than just survive

We were made to thrive …

Joy unspeakable, faith unsinkable

Love unstoppable, anything is possible

{Casting Crowns’ “Thrive”}

God’s light seeps through this temporary darkness and changes us. My new friend who is starting over stood up yesterday in church and praised God despite her hard week. And she put the purpose of life into words: God turned her mess into a message.

Life is messy sometimes. But we don’t have to settle for making it through. God wants to author messages out of our messes. These messages speak of God’s faithfulness and love, so let’s not be afraid to share them.
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I'm joining my friend Jen Ferguson for the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering, where people share the messages that have come from their messes. Then on Wednesday I linked with Beth Stiff for Three Word Wednesday, Holley Gerth for Coffee for Your Heart, and Jennifer Dukes Lee for #TellHisStory. 

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