A decade of diabetes

I had lost a ton of weight. I was always thirsty. And my contacts constantly felt dry in my eyes.

Those were my symptoms. For months. For a year at least. Really, probably closer to 18 months. At first I didn't notice. Then I needed to hold on a couple more months until my health insurance kicked in.

I chose a doctor a friend had gone to and liked. And within five minutes of talking to the doctor, I learned I probably had diabetes. She ordered a blood test to confirm, but she told me to go home and pack a bag for the hospital.

I cried. I called Greg. I cried. I called my mom. I cried. My best friend came over. I cried.

I cried because I was scared.
_______
Even on this first day of being a diabetic, I was thankful for my doctor. She was calm and encouraging. And she didn't let me in on just how dangerously high my blood sugar was. I mean, she told me the number, which was in the 500s, but she didn't let me know just how worrisome that was. She also didn't tell me until later about my A1C, which measures the average blood sugar level over the past few months, and how it indicated diabetes had gone undiagnosed in me for quite some time.

Some time in the previous year or maybe even two, my pancreas had stopped working. A virus killing off good cells is the best possible cause, but, really, the reason is a mystery. Turns out, my pancreas doesn't produce insulin and my body was burning fat because it couldn't properly break down sugar, leading to my thirst and hunger issues and weight loss.

I should say here science was my least favorite subject in school, making medical jargon and explanations seem like a foreign language.

Upon my diagnosis a decade ago, I spent three nights in the hospital, where the nurses gradually brought my blood sugar level down with shots of insulin in my upper arm and tended to my dehydrated body with fluids. I learned how to count carbohydrates, give myself insulin shots and monitor my blood sugar levels. I realized our bodies are complex and that addressing this one need helped me feel so much better in every way.

The rule-follower, people-pleaser in me kicked in, giving me enough strength to do what I needed to do for my own good.

For more than 7 1/2 years, I took one kind of insulin every time I eat and another kind each evening. Then in September 2011, I started using an insulin pump, which was such a good decision for me. This change came on the heels of me choosing a new doctor when the one who diagnosed me closed her practice. When I hesitated about his recommendation for pump therapy, he said if I decided do it I'd regret not doing it five years earlier.

Turns out, he was pretty much right.
_______
Then toward the end of 2012, this doctor, who taught me more about how diabetes effected my body than any other doctor before, moved from my small town. I started seeing another primary care physician in the same practice but it hasn't been the same since.

I still go to the doctor every three months to have blood work done so my blood sugar, thyroid function and cholesterol levels can be monitored. But that new doctor {the third, if you're keeping count ...} also recently moved from Murray. I have an appointment in a couple months to see yet another doctor in that practice, but I don't have high hopes she'll teach me like my first two. So tomorrow I have an appointment with an endocrinologist 94 miles away. He comes recommended by two people in the diabetic world I trust.

This doctor situation has been a burden to me. It's frustrating and keeps becoming more and more logistically complicated. Add in the fact I've been having an ongoing arm pain and unexplained hemangioma {a benign vascular tumor of sorts} on a female part, and I'm sort of tired of doctor's appointments.

One doctor recently called me a puzzle. She was talking about the hemangioma.

But she could have been referring to diabetes or arm pain. Nobody can pin down why or when my pancreas decided to stop working. My shoulder has had some inflammation before. But who knows why it decides to flare up when it does.

Talk about embracing imperfection.

I had a good cry ... well, OK, two cries ... earlier this month. Mostly looking at my calendar of doctor's appointment overwhelmed me. But I'm thankful for the way God continues to sustain me and teach me about just how complicated and precise his creations are.
_______
My kids like to watch my change my insulin pump infusion set, fill the new reservoir with insulin from the vial, and prick my finger to check my blood sugar. I know if I go too many days without exercise that my blood sugar rises for several days, giving me headaches. And when I do exercise, I have to take off my insulin pump so my blood sugar doesn't go too low.

I certainly don't manage it perfectly, and I still like to treat myself to sweets {with extra insulin, of course}. But I take care of myself, even though it's frustrating some times. A side effect of insulin is the difficulty losing weight. Yet I have to take it. I've gained more weight back in the past decade than I lost in those months before my diabetes diagnosis.

Like most people, I'm better off to pass on the desserts. But I like food. It's a vicious cycle. Usually I am thankful my chronic condition is one that is manageable. But some days I wish I could have a normally functioning pancreas.

For someone who took the minimum amount of science in high school and college, this last decade has been a crash course in anatomy, biology and even chemistry.

I don't really want to live Jan. 28, 2004, over again. But that diagnosis is part of me. I don't cringe when I give myself a shot or prick my finger. I just do it. Most of the pharmacist technicians at Rite-Aid know my name when I walk in to pick up my diabetes supplies.

Much of those first few days is a blur. But I remember one thing clearly: When I called Greg just a few minutes after I found out, crying, of course, he said, "It's OK, we'll change our lifestyle." He said, "we," and I was reminded I'm married to my one who is willing to live life with me, despite circumstances that may alter the course we thought we were on.

And he's lived by that these past 10 years. He knows when I get irritable there is a good chance my blood sugar is high. He knows if my words start to be confusing and I'm sweating that my blood sugar is too low.

God created me and knows the details of every hormone and organ in my body. I may not know why my pancreas quit working or answers to a list of other health-related questions, but I'm thankful there are ways to continue living this life, my life.
________
This is certainly a real-life look behind the scenes of my life, so I'm linking with Crystal Stine today. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Be brave. Relief will come.

Even at 4 years old, he had a plan. Be brave for the shots and then go to Chick-fil-A.

Ben was recently diagnosed as being allergic to trees, weeds, grass and dust mites. Clearly these are things I can't really keep away from him. So allergy shots it is. Yes, plural. One in each arm twice a week, starting today. The frequency will become less as the treatment continues. Hopefully his ear infections and nose bleeds will become less frequent too.

He didn't want to pull away from the plan until the nurse was holding the needle. Then he didn't want to be brave anymore. He wanted to kick and pull away. He wanted to resist.

I can see a bigger picture. I understand that this momentary fear will be so worth it once he has relief. He could only see that needle in her hand and the one near her on the counter. He could only remember how all those pricks in the back and arms bothered him before.

I remember how scared I was when I was diagnosed with insulin-dependent diabetes a decade ago. That fear propelled me forward but in the beginning if I thought too much about the needles piercing my flesh I got nauseated. I still can't watch nurses draw my blood. Yet I overcame the fear because I learned it was worth it to feel better and I became comfortable taking care of myself this way.

As Ben pulled away from me this morning, trying to escape this needle that would be such a blip in the big picture, I realized I do the same thing with God sometimes.

I get scared sometimes too, even when I have a plan. I want to pull away from the One who is orchestrating the details because I have a plan of my own. I want to pull back from people I love because they've frustrated me. I want to push against change that will heal my soul and risks that will strengthen my faith.

But relief will come. 

If I just take that first step

or send that email

or ask that friend how I can pray

or try that new thing

or meet that new person

or go to the place I've never been

or let go of control, again

or if I try again after I failed the first time.

God is the giver of the dreams, so he's going to give us what we need to overcome the fear. He's going to strengthen us and heal us as we face whatever fears are like needles piercing our life.

Ben survived the two shots this morning. I'm pretty sure he'd forgotten about his fear by the time he ate his Chick-fil-A biscuit and climbed in the play area. That's the thing about fear, it's fleeting if we cling to the One who promises everlasting relief. 
________
I'm sharing this story with God-sized Dreamers, Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes, Jen Fergson's Soli Deo Gloria Party and Lyli Dunbar's Thought-Provoking Thursday.

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Becoming real-life friends

I began blogging long ago because a friend told me I should. This space has transformed as my life has changed. But I never expected this online place to spill over into my "real life" like it has.

This blog has long been a place for me to document my life, mostly so I don't forget all the lessons and memories I want to hold onto. But this past year this place helped me foster some new relationships. One of my favorite online-turned-real-life friends is Jen Ferguson, who blogs at Finding Heaven Today and hosts the weekly Soli Deo Gloria party that encourages me.

We've emailed, Facebooked, messaged while playing Words with Friends, texted and talked on the phone. Getting to hug her and talk to her face-to-face was such a lovely way to end the year. As part of my family's Texas road trip between Christmas and New Year's, Jen and I planned to meet in Waco -- half way between her near-Austin home and where I was staying in Dallas.

Meeting her didn't seem strange to me. I already knew her.

But here I was, asking my husband and my kids to drive 1 1/2 hours to spend several hours with another family they'd never met. Just a week or so before, my kids and I went to hang out in real life with Ashley, a God-sized Dream Team friend I'd yet to meet in person, when we were in Louisville. And a couple times earlier in the year, I brought along Ben when I had lunch with Jennie, who lives nearby but whom I met online through the No More Perfect Moms launch group.

My family does so much of our real life together. But this was new territory for us as a family of four.

The Taylors and the Fergusons met at Cameron Park Zoo. Her oldest and my youngest held hands as they walked around the zoo. Her youngest and my oldest (who are just 18 months apart) bonded with more conversations than I could keep up with. Our husbands had tons to talk about. And Jen and I continued conversations we'd begun online. {Jen wrote about what she learned while we were at the zoo together.}

We looked at animals. We told stories and laughed. We talked about next time. And then we gathered around a table at a restaurant and shared a meal. Because what's more real life than that? This friendship that began online is real life. And like a gift I wasn't expecting, Jen's friendship continues blessing my life.
________
I'm linking this post with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes because it's a real look at what's happening behind those pictures I posted on Facebook. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Tour of the Christmas Mantel

I'm not much of a change-the-decorations-for-the-season person. I do have a couple Rubbermade containers of Christmas things. Even so, this year I put out less. I'm not sure why, except that I'm trying to embrace the realness that comes when I don't worry with perfection. So I put out some favorite things and let my wild Christmas tree take up half my living room.

It's just right for us right now. 

Come see a few of my favorites ...

I love stockings. And I love these stockings. I found them online somewhere before Ben was born and then found them again to order a fourth when Ben came about a month before Christmas 2009. And, yes, I love that we have a mantel for stockings display.

Speaking of Christmas 2009, this is one of the earliest pictures of us as a family of four. We'd just gotten back from the local Christmas parade, and I had my friend snap the moment. Ben was just 12 days old. It's become a favorite of mine that stays in that holiday frame and comes out each year.

We have two nativity sets. Both are kid friendly. This Melissa & Doug one is on our mantel, but it's still be moved around plenty of times by the little hands here.

Our tree is crazy. And I love that about it. I also love all the room underneath the branches. We've done Christmas with one side of family, so the gifts for the other side of the family and some friends are waiting. That's the kids' Geo Trax Christmas train and Little People nativity in the background. I like that they get to play with it so close to the crazy tree.

What's your favorite Christmas decoration? Do you put out the same things every year in the same places or mix it up?
________
Joining The Nester and others from all over the Internet who are giving tours of their homes at Christmas and reminding each other it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. And linking up with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes.

Take a peek at other previous Christmas posts. The Jesus Birthday Party. Easiest Ornament Craft Ever. Crafting Christmas Coasters. Memories Hang Here.

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

'Round here something radiates

We had a two-hour delay this morning for school. Y'all. Every Monday should start with a two-hour delay. I know, I know. If it happened weekly, it wouldn't be such a treat. I certainly enjoyed it this morning.

I have this bad habit of staying up too late on Sunday nights. Usually because I don't want the weekend to end. It's funny, before I was a stay-at-home mom, I didn't understand how the weekends were different from the week days. But they're different. On weekends, the routine is gone and Greg is home. Now, I like routine, but I equally temporary breaks in routine. I also have a different mentality on the weekends. I don't do many chores. I don't cook much. And sometimes I can linger in my pajamas longer.

So Greg got home from playing basketball with his friends late last night. It was after 10 p.m., and yes that defines late around here. We prefer to go to bed at the same time, so even though I was tired and drained from of my own inner, emotional thoughts, I stayed up. And then we decided watching "The Good Wife" was a good idea. Yes, that meant bedtime was going to be after 11 p.m. But snuggling on the cough with my husband was how I wanted to end the weekend.

Well, turns out "The Good Wife" wasn't on last night. So we watched "Bones," courtesy Netflix. Good thing it was an excellent episode, or I probably would have been asleep on the couch.

Speaking of late nights, on Friday night, UK played Baylor. It wasn't schedule to tip until 9 p.m. Do I need to address I'm a late-night weenie these days? Well, in effort to hang out with my husband, I committed to watch it. And then the women's game before it went into FOUR OVERTIMES, so the game we wanted to watch didn't tip until after 10 p.m. At halftime I suggested we move the basketball-watching party to our bedroom, where there is a much smaller TV. I feel asleep before the second half started.

And speaking of Friday, the kids were out of school that day. We had some freezing rain. And then it snowed some. No, I don't have any pictures because it wasn't exactly a pretty winter wonderland. But it did keep us inside the house ALL DAY. I loved it.

The kids and I finished some Christmas ornaments. We stayed in our pajamas all day. Like we went to bed that night in the same pajamas we woke up wearing. The kids watched some movies and played mostly nicely together. I scrapbooked and blogged.

And now I want to create more scrapbook pages with every five minutes of free time I have.

I could have gone for another snow day today. But come May 16, I'll be glad we had minimal snow days.

My boys and their Racer stripes ... 

We did get out of the house to watch Murray State play basketball on Saturday afternoon. Then Sarah and Jaclyn's families came over for pizza and Settlers of Catan.

Our combined eight children who are 7 and younger were happy to see each other. And at one point in the night, they were all sleeping soundly while we finished a second game of Settlers. Sunday included our usual church and lunch and then our small group came over Sunday night for more pizza and our usual weekly meeting.

That's nothing like our weekend was planned to look like. We had a jam-packed Saturday. Now most of those plans have been shifted a week, when there are, thankfully, supposed to be warmer temperatures. But I do recommend a low-key weekend spent mostly in soft pants, as my girl calls them, especially so close to Christmas. Perhaps slowing down really is part of advent. 

Two more recommendations for you before I close this rambling update:

1. My blogging friend Whitney Cornelison has a new ebook about her family's journey through infertility. AND her book, "Infertility: A Silent Struggle and the God Who Hears," includes a small piece of my family's story from infertility to adoption. I've gotten to know Whitney the past few months and I'm so glad she's poured her heart into this book. It's one I wish I had in my hands before God led us to adoption in 2006.

Whitney is doing some giveaways this week as part of her book release. The ebook is just $3.99 and you can buy it here.

2. Hershey's Kisses with caramel. Enough said.

So, here's to a new week. One that should involve less freezing rain and no more pizza dinners!

Now, tell me, what have you been up to? Bonus points if you can identify the song that is now running through my head because of the post's title.
________
Joining Jen Ferguson and others for this week's Soli Deo Gloria party. 

And then I joined Crystal Stine for her weekly Behind the Scenes. This isn't exactly behind the scenes of any photos, like usual, but it's a glimpse behind the scenes of my lack of photos. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox." Affiliate links included.

{Behind the Scenes} In Branson

We celebrated Thanksgiving and even a little of Christmas in Branson with my husband's brothers and their families. Altogether, that's eight kids ages almost 10, 8, 6.5, 4.5, 4, 3.5, 2.5, and 7 months. And, yes, my mother-in-law, who is the best trip planner ever, got all the kids coordinating pajamas from Gymboree.

A big untraditional, but our Thanksgiving dinner was served by a tall elf at Dixie Stampede. And we didn't use utensils to eat our whole baked turkey, half of a roasted potato, corn on the cob, roll, creamy vegetable soup, and apple turnover. The food was delicious and the show was entertaining.

In a merging of the holidays, we went to a Christmas ornament store on Thanksgiving morning and each of the kids picked out two ornaments and each family picked out another. These were hung on a tree my mother-in-law put up in her condo for the weekend. The kids had the best time decorating it and showing off their new ornaments. Ben's choices of an airplane and dinosaur are predictable. He's all boy. Cate's horse ornament wasn't surprising, but I don't have any words about that bedazzled phone. Except, of course, I hope she knows that's the only phone she's going to get for awhile.

We also went to Silver Dollar City. And, let me tell you, we weren't the only ones who thought spending Black Friday at an amusement park was a good idea. We've been there in the earlier fall and now later fall near Thanksgiving twice. The earlier fall is definitely my favorite time of the year to be there. Either season has lovely decorations.

We did ride some rides and eat a funnel cake. Possibly my favorite ride ever is at Silver Dollar City. And I got my 6-year-old girl on it with me.

The Giant Barn Swing takes riders swinging seven stories high on pendulums that go 230 degrees at 45 mph. It's intense. Cate said she felt like she was upside-down. Technically, she wasn't.

She wasn't sure at first if she liked it. But she's talked about the next time she rides it probably won't be as scary. I guess that means she liked it! As a roller coaster lover, I feel like I'm doing my part to raise my daughter to have an adventurous spirit! Ben wasn't tall enough to ride on The Giant Barn Swing, which he totally would have. But he did manage to photo bomb on our photo - on purpose!

We also saw "The Miracle of Christmas" at the Sights & Sounds Theater, "Frozen" at a local movie theater, ate at my favorite White River Fish House as well as other tasty restaurants. Oh, and we spent hours at the original Bass Pro Shops in Springfield, Mo., on our road trip to Branson. {It's boy heaven, really, although I had some luck Christmas shopping!}

For the record, our family loves Branson. We came in September 2008, October 2010 and Thanksgiving 2011. There's so much to do that every trip has been a little different with some common sights, sounds and tastes.

Each family had its own condo, which was nice for regrouping each evening and allowing for good nights of sleep. Our days were packed with meals and outings together. Truly, this trip was a good balance of the best worlds of a vacation that bridged Thanksgiving and Christmas and gave us time with each other.
________
I'm joining other bloggers at Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes, were stories behind the pictures are shared. Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox." Affiliate links included.

{Behind the Scenes} A little quiet first

We didn't leave the house Saturday and it was lovely.

The kids played the Wii and stayed in their pajamas until well into the afternoon. Cate helped me wrap presents. Greg read the kids books. Greg and the kids raked up leaves. I scrapbooked and designed our annual Christmas letter {which may be my favorite yet!}. We ate lunch, watched some football, and cleaned up. Some friends came over for dinner and a couple games of Settlers of Catan that evening.

Y'all. We didn't the leave the house. And I loved every minute. I even answered the door at one point near noon and my hair still looked like a tornado had blown through.

Saturday was the week before our calendar begins to be packed. First up is  Ben's birthday weekend with family coming into town and friends come over for a party. Then it's to Branson for Thanksgiving. Then back home and it'll already be December. The all that it is Christmas around here begins: Parade. Jesus Birthday Party. Christmas with other attorneys. Huge Taylor Family Christmas Party. Christmas with Greg's office. Christmas with friends. Christmas in Louisville. Christmas at home with just the four of us. Christmas with Greg's cousins. A road trip to Dallas to celebrate Christmas some more and meet my new nephew.

And then it'll be January. And a new year.

I seriously love this time of the year. I like the parties and music and food and gifts and spiritual conversations that happen. But I loved being at home for a whole entire Saturday before the holiday season gets underway around here. God knew I needed that time. Like seasons are good for our soul, so is the mixture of quiet and celebration.

One way I intentionally embrace this season is do the Christmas shopping I love to do in the months leading up to the end of the year. I buy things along the way as I see gifts that remind me of the people I want to give them to. It makes it easier for me to find meaningful gifts and to enjoy the hustle that comes with Christmas parties and events. Remember, we're a family of extroverts, but, even so, there are only 24 hours in a day.

Speaking of buying gifts, DaySpring has some fabulous items on sale right now. Plus who doesn't love shopping online, where gifts can be purchased while you're sitting in PJs and then show up on your door step?!

Then go jump in the piles of leaves at least one more time ...

Pretty please? Here's to hoping you're able to embrace this holiday season that isn't too far from being upon us. We all have plenty to celebrate.
________
I'm linking up with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes because these pictures of the kids playing in the leaves are a glimpse into our day spent entirely at home. For the record, it did start raining just as I asked the kids to pose for that last picture. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Unlocking the door and growing up

My mom, my sister and I unintentionally coordinated for my sister's baby shower in Columbia, Mo., on Saturday.

We all had our roles to play. I was stereotypical first-born who was bossy and wanted them to abide by my rules. Kevin was the typical middle child, a boy sandwiched between two vocal girls. Cassie was the baby who had held her ground well.

We were three in 4 1/2 years. They were athletic and I was good in school. They were rebellious and I was {mostly} a people pleaser who got frustrated with their different-than-me ways.

So one day I locked them out of my room. I installed a new door knob with a lock on the outside and I was the only one with a key. Seriously. {Hanging my head in shame ...} Yes, I may have been the meanest, most judgmental one of us all.

Seriously, I locked my siblings out of my room and, really, out of my life for that season. 

I'm glad I grew up. I'll always be almost three years older than Kevin and more than four years older than Cassie. But I've let go some and realized I'm not in charge. I've certainly realized they aren't just like me and there are plenty of opportunities for me to learn from them.

I can't remember how long I banished them from my room. But now that we're in our 30s, I do know I like being grown-up siblings. I like lingering in restaurants while the kids get restless because we have more stories to share and jokes to tell. I like celebrating and remembering and making new memories when our individual families come together. I like watching our kids befriend each other.

I like that we like each other. 

My little sister turned 30 on Saturday. And I got to see her on her actual birthday, which hasn't happened in a long time. The same day we celebrated the baby boy she's expecting in about five weeks. While I listened to the grown-up version of my little sister talk and laugh during another too-short visit, I wished I hadn't locked that door between us when we were kids. But the key is gone now and thankfully we're better versions of our childhood selves. 
________
I'm linking this up with Jen Ferguson's Soli Deo Gloria party, where hearts are opened and grace is given. I'm also joining Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes because there's more happening in that picture of my mom, my sister and I than our unintentional coordinating clothing. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Spur one another on ...

Our kids were off running around in wide open spaces while we chatted at the beginning of our church's annual fall party on Saturday. So I gathered these friends and asked my husband to take our picture. "Moms need to be in pictures too," I said.

And it's true. Moms spend so much time corralling, organizing, training, feeding, transporting, hearing, packing and dressing people. We care for those around us with instinct and purpose. But sometimes we only remain behind the scenes. We go on the vacations. We are at the parties we host. We see our kids succeed and grow and create. We support our husbands. But sometimes we're missing from the scrapbooks.

These friends of mine are among the people with whom I choose to do life. All those things we do, we often do with each other. Our kids are friends because there's really no other way. We text and call and show up. We deliver meals and say prayers. We brainstorm and execute.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

{Hebrews 10:24-25}

They spur me on, alright. 

All of us have been through heartbreak in the past year or two. Corrie is the one in the picture holding the baby. Y'all, that's Lucy, the baby doctors said may not live past struggling to take her first few breaths. Clearly, that didn't happen. 

It's been a year since Corrie learned something wasn't right with the baby she was carrying inside. She shared some reflections from the past year in church on Sunday. She reminded our church body that sometimes life is heartbreaking, but that we choose to serve a God who is always good. He redeems and creates these stories we're living out. She knew she wasn't the only who faced heart ache this year.

Yes, there has been loss and disappointment among us. But we've gathered our families and joined with these people who understand. We've thanked God, sometimes through tears and aching hearts, because we do believe in goodness. And we haven't given up meeting together. 

Sometimes our meetings come at restaurants as we talk over noise our kids create. Sometimes our meetings come in texts back and forth. Other times the meetings come on Saturday evenings near a bonfire and on Sunday mornings in a sanctuary. 

________
I'm linking up with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes, where writers share stories that go beyond what a photo can capture, and with Jen Ferguson's Soli Deo Gloria, where God's goodness is proclaimed. And then on Wednesday I also linked up with Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory because this is an important chapter in The Story. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Behind the Scenes} A boy and not-his dog

I'm not a pet person. Thankfully, neither is my husband. Yet, I don't want my kids to be afraid of dogs or other pets. Seems like a double standard, I know.

But something is working. My kids generally like dogs who belong to other people. A current favorite is Grandmom's puppy Baxter. Like my boy is all boy, this puppy is all puppy. Perhaps that's why they get along.

That picture above is Ben and Baxter snuggled up together earlier this month when we were visiting Grandmom in Louisville. Truly it's a small miracle both of them are sitting still. And, you know, they actually sat like this for awhile.

I posted this picture on Facebook and several people liked it. But then another friend, who is a boy momma herself, told me Ben's Superman pajamas reminded her of a song called "Godspeed Sweet Dreams," which was originally recorded by Radney Foster and then later covered by Dixie Chicks.

Every boy mom needs to hear this song.

"Dragon tales and the water is wide
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh, my love will fly to you
Each night on angels wings
Godspeed, sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh, my love will fly to you
Each night on angels wings
Godspeed, sweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears amen wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh, my love will fly to you
Each night on angels wings
Godspeed, Godspeed
Godspeed, sweet dreams"

Godspeed, indeed. And God bless other people's dogs. 
________
I'm linking up with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes, where we share pictures and post the real stories behind them. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Grace that smells like fresh flowers

While I was burning soup that was supposed to be our dinner tonight, my husband was buying my flowers.

Really.

Yes, I burned soup. To make it worse, it was my freezer and only needed to be heated up. For whatever reason, I put the soup in a pot and turned on high heat. And then I got distracted.

Some soups may have fared alright but the broccoli cheese soup was nearly overflowing the pot and full of burnt globs when I finally stirred it and turned down the heat.

I called my husband and the conversation went like this:

Greg: Hey, darlin'.
Me: I just burned dinner.
Greg: Do you want me to bring something home?
Me: How about we go to Zaxby's? Kids eat free tonight.
Greg: OK, meet me there in a few minutes?
Me: Sure. But aren't you still at work? 
Greg: I'm {pause ...} at Kroger buying you a treat. 
Me: A treat for me? 
Greg: I thought you would like some flowers. 
Me: That's sweet. And thanks for not caring about the soup I just burned. 
Greg: See you at Zaxby's in a few minutes. 

That's some real-life grace right there, where fresh flowers drown the smell of burnt cheese and broccoli.  

I'm still reading "One Way Love" by Tullian Tchividjian. I highly recommend it. I'm on page 167 of 227, but I would have recommended it from the introduction alone. While reading it the last couple weeks, I've had so many thoughts of grace and how it applies to identity and marriage and friendships and Christianity and service and parenting and daily life. And, like only God can do, opportunities to live what I'm learning are happening all around me.

This isn't the first time I've messed up dinner, forgotten an ingredient in the middle of cooking, or allowed my day to get away with me without making a plan for what we could eat. Greg has never made my identity as a wife be defined by what we eat for {or where we eat!} dinner. Even the time we both got sick after eating some homemade beef stroganoff, Greg didn't love me less because I failed at dinner time.

I didn't cook much when we first got married. In 2005, I decided cooking wasn't so bad and now we even have our favorite recipes. But plenty of times I still mess up. Yes, in the kitchen, but also in all the rooms of my life.

And then Greg walks in holding a bouquet of flowers. Just because he knew I'd like them.

This isn't the first time I've been handed a gift that has absolutely nothing to do with my performance. And by gifts I don't mean tangible treats like flowers, but all the expressions of grace that show up in my life. My husband has done it many times before. I'm blessed with friends who know how to spur one another one. I'm hoping my kids learn how to give like this. When I let go of my perfectionist, performance-based ways, I know that it's so much freeing to give and receive grace than keep a scorecard of successes and failures.

And God has done this since the beginning of time. Grace was God's idea. He showed the ultimate grace for me and you with his son on a cross. And he continues to show it in my life in simple moments, like my husband buying me flowers while I'm busy burning our dinner.
________

I'm linking up with ...

Jen Ferguson's Soli Deo Gloria party, where grace abounds. 

Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes, where real stories are shared. 
Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory, where God moves.

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox." Affiliate link included.

{Behind the Scenes} Pedaling through life

I told her about riding my bike with my friends through out neighborhood. It was the way I transported myself from one place to another. Throughout our horseshoe-shaped neighborhood, I peddled up and down hills, into friends' driveways, and back home again. I still have the scar on my knee from when flipped and crashed down the hill on Cardinal Drive. Upon that 10-speed bike, I dreamed of what was to come next and how I would get there.

Riding bikes reminds me to be free. As a kid, that bike of mine helped me explore wide open spaces and foster relationships that mattered. Independence and confidence came as I pedaled and coasted before nightfall came and us neighborhood kids traded our bike rides for games of flashlight tag.

It's hard to explain all of that to a 6-year-old girl who was hesitant to pedal on her own. But, like mommas do, I knew she'd love the freedom that would come when she decided she wanted to learn to ride a bike. 

And let me tell you, when my girl decides something she's all in. Greg worked with her some on Saturday {when I took this picture}. She didn't ride on her own that day, but she conquered her fear, which, really, was the biggest obstacle.

As I cooked in the kitchen that morning, I thought about how she's so much like me. She's hesitant of change and has to get herself to be the place of embracing it. But once she's there, she's committed and eager.

Last night I came home from a meeting to news from Greg that our girl had rode her bike by her self. Cate was still awake when I went to check on her, so she jumped {literally} in her bed and told me about it. Even Ben told me about it this morning. His excitement about his sister's accomplishment was genuine.

I hope her first solo pedals were only the beginning to so much adventure before her. I hope for friends and place to inspire her like my neighborhood bike rides did me. And I hope she realizes sooner than I did that trying new things and changes that come naturally with life are worth embracing.

Oh, and totally unlike me, she rode her bike for the first time in a dress and sparkly flats.
________
I'm linking today with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes, where we share real life. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Behind the Scenes} Something Beautiful

Truth is: I don't usually like pictures of myself. And, really, the sillier they are, the less likely I am to like them. But, you know, I really like this picture of Holly and I. So, I thought I'd tell you about the picture and about us.

I met Holly just before I walked out of the newsroom for the last time because she was my replacement. Not long after claiming my desk as hers, she emailed me with a question. We emailed a little and then decided to meet at Quiznos. I came with a 4-month-old girl that day and Holly came with openness and willingness. We befriended each other that day. Yes, I answered some questions about reporting in this small town of ours, but that was only the foundation for a friendship that had so much more in store for me.

Holly has since moved from Murray to New Mexico and back and then to Texas {... and back, I think.} You know, keeping up with her current location is kind of hard because she's like a gypsy, but I've never had a problem keeping up with her. We email, text, write, chat on Gmail, sometimes call, Facebook and make plans. Anyway, she lives in Texas now, but she wanted to celebrate her 30th birthday at Kentucky Lake, which really is like home to her.

So we gathered at the lake and celebrated Holly. But, really, we all ended up celebrating friendship and real life, where people's lives cross paths and we become better people through it all. There was a love fest and counters full of delicious food. We laughed and some cried and so many stories were told.

One of my favorite things about Holly is she's only ever known me as a mom but that hasn't stopped her from seeing beyond that one role in this one season of mothering little ones. She sees me. She doesn't have kids and isn't married, yet she's encouraged me as a mom, as a wife, as a writer, and as a Christian.

We've connected over writing, traveling, becoming more, processing life, and seeking truth. A little bit of everything all rolled up in one friendship. This past weekend she gave me {I know, seriously, it was her birthday party!} a quilt she made from scraps from other quilts. Really, it's so appropriate for us. It's comfortable and a hod podge of different pieces coming together to make something beautiful. 

I walked out of a newsroom six years ago, ready to tackle this motherhood journey. And, yes, there were diaper changes and sippy cups and a new schedule that worked itself around naptimes. But there also was this beautiful friendship that has blessed my everyday life, even across the miles.

And, you know, I like myself better in pictures when she's in them with me because even when we aren't framed by the camera lens I know she sees me.
________
I'm linking up with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes, where we're encouraged to come out from behind the photos and tell the whole story, imperfections and all. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Behind the Scenes} The Tailgate, anyway

It may have been a humid 94 degrees in Nashville on Saturday, but we tailgated anyway. My husband was particularly excited to ring in the new football season watching one of our teams. {And, for the record, it wasn't the hottest opening to football season we've experienced.}

Doesn't my boy look like he's meant to tailgate? And, really, he was. Even though he had no idea what tailgating meant going into the afternoon. He's good at the social part. And was totally interested in the charcoal grilling part. But, truthfully, he doesn't like to stay in one space, so he was all over our small staked out area surrounded by other friendly UK fans.

Doesn't she look cute? She picked out that skirt because she said it was the only UK blue thing she had to wear. She and I may have talked about how hot and sweaty we were, but we had a good time anyway.

Yes, another picture of him sitting. But, really, I think you understand that wasn't the case for the couple hours we tailgated and the three-plus hours we were in our stadium seats. But, hey, he's cute. And look at how prepared he is? A chair strapped to his back, a Capri Sun, and some bubbles.

Speaking of being cute, a college-aged girl told Ben about five times in 2 seconds as we were walking to our seats how cute he was. He grinned and nodded. And I realized that we're in trouble. We may be raising a heartbreaker, even if he doesn't mean it.

On the heels of a hard week in our house, we enjoyed the chance to get away for the second weekend in a row to watch a team we like play. I explained roughing the passer to my girl when UK was penalized for supposedly doing just that and she said, "It's football. He's supposed to be rough." We discussed how the UK band played some of the same pep songs the Murray State band we hear more often likes to play. I gave her a crash course on how football is scored. And she discussed the cheerleaders outfits.

Yes, we were hot and sweaty. Yes, Ben felt a little confined. Yes, watching sports of any kind with kids prompts lots of questions. Yes, our team lost. But we had fun anyway.
________
I'm linking up these pictures from our weekend with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes, where there is encouragement to tell the real story behind a photo. And, yes, I'm obviously including more than one photo with this story. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Behind the Scenes} A souvenir in hand

He's cute, huh? One friend called him darling.

Yes, he's those things. And more. Including mischievous.

When we were in St. Louis this past weekend, we took our kids to a baseball game and the guys in front of us were determined to get Ben a baseball to commemorate his first Cardinals game. Well, the nice guys ended up doing just that ... while Cate and I were up getting dinner from a concession stand. It's actually a game-used ball the bullpen catcher tossed up. Sitting two rows behind the bullpen has its perks, especially when the people in front of us are kind.

So when I got back to our seats and Ben {and everyone else around us!} told me Ben got a baseball, I did what any photo-obsessed momma would do. I got out my camera and said, "Hey, Ben, show me the baseball."

And he did.

Then quickly hid it.

Back and forth. In sight. Out of sight.

Then he just hid it, knowing full well I couldn't get the picture I wanted. Turns out, Greg did get the picture while I was away. So that's the one that went up on Facebook to document the souvenir. Of course, Ben provided another picture-worthy moment when he decided to sleep with the ball. Three nights since, and he's slept with the ball every night.

Perhaps he's dreaming of knocking one out of the park so the crowd can cheer.
________
I'm linking up Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes and hoping another St. Louis-inspired post is written soon. But reminiscing is always fun too. See 4-month-old Cate and not-quite-1-year-old Cate at Busch Stadium during previous trips to the ballpark.

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

'Tis the back-to-school season

My kids played with some friends in a creek last week, soaking in a cooler yet somehow still muggy August morning. It wasn't warm enough to swim, so they found other water for entertainment.

I was walking slower behind them as they took off for the creek and looked up to notice a patch of red on a big tree full of green leaves.

It looked like someone spray painted it. Apparently splotchy, early leaf changes are normal for whatever kind of tree that is, but it seemed like that tree was for me. Like God knew I needed a reminder that seasons are good for our souls. 

And, truly, they seem to come fast, but, really, they are gradual. With seasons come opportunities to become more of who we're created to be.
_______
My daughter will walk into first grade tomorrow and my son will take his seat {hopefully!} just down the hall in a preschool classroom tomorrow morning. It's not totally new. Cate will be just a room down from when she spent her kindergarten days and Ben went two mornings each week last school year to another preschool program we loved.

But here we are. Year #2 of full-time school for one of my kids and part-time for the other. Yes, that means I have a few mornings a week without kids. People mention this fact as if I'll be searching for something to do.

While I will have time to do different things when I don't have kids by my side, I have plenty of ideas of how I'll spend my Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. In fact, I have a mental list: finish the freelance assignments I have, possibly expand my freelance work, exercise regularly, develop better Bible study habits, continue managing two lake houses, and volunteer at their school. Of course, I could also catch up on laundry, clean my house, grocery shop, or clean out closets and drawers one by one.

And, really, in the big scheme of motherhood, and life, nine hours isn't that much.
_______
Where we'd send our kids to school was a big deal because, like so many other things in my life, it has turned out different than I expected. But better too. Choosing a school for our kids was part of a faith-building journey I've been on for awhile now. Ah, yes, seasons there too.

This summer I've learned more about taking life one day at a time, embracing adventures that come along unexpectedly, and choosing the present. It's still a process, but I've been more at peace because I've loosened my grip on life. I'm hoping that as we fall back into a school year routine, I don't truly fall back.

Seasons are good. They are how God created this world and our lives. I know this. I believe this. But, still, this summer passed to quickly and I sense the fall will be more of the fast-paced ways. I look at the calendar and see the year ending in a blink of an eye.

But holding on isn't the answer, really, even though it's my instinct. Seeing that patch of red leaves from a distance reminded me that seasons are natural. And beautiful.

When I stood under that tree, closer to my creek-splashing and rock-climbing kids and their friends, I saw other patches of red beginning. Seasons are full of details worth noticing. Perhaps I need to stop mourning summer with my head looking down and raise my eyes up and forward and all around.

This is life. There is beauty right here that wouldn't come if seasons didn't change.

So, here's to new classrooms, new teachers, new habits, new schedules, new friends, new opportunities, and new lessons that point us to the One who really does have the whole world in His hands.
________
I'm linking up with sweet Jen's Soli Deo Gloria party. And with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes. Who would have thought a picture of a tree with a patch of red leaves would spark so many thoughts! {Edited on 8.14.13 to also link this post with Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory.}

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Behind the Scenes} The Tea Party

People always told me how different girls and boys are. I grew up with a brother, so I believed these people.

But, really. Boys and girls are different. The ways they go about doing things. The level of their noise. Their amount of movement. He chooses the blue plate. She wants the pink cup.

Yet there are times they come together. And, truly, the times they do are my absolute favorite moments of being a mom to two. They can be sweet. They're quite a team when they work together. They're funny and creative.

Lately, they've been watching "My Little Pony" episodes and having tea parties. Not necessarily together! Yes, these fall on the girl side of things. But they'll argue that there are boy ponies and then proceed to name them. And, honestly, I'm not sure about the tea parties.

But, hey, she likes that he's a willing participant. And it's good for him to sit still!

So last week there was a tea party on a sheet in the kitchen. She had the four places set for the two of them and two dolls propped up on pillows. They had water to pour from one tiny pitcher into their even tinier cups. They had fruit snacks on miniature plates.

You know, now that I think about it, the fruit snacks were probably what piqued Ben's interest. 

Not two minutes after I took the photo above and posted it on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, Ben climbed up on the arm of the nearby couch and jumped. Right onto the tea party. Feet first. Surprisingly, he didn't break any tiny tea party dishes.

Cate got tense. Like she was going to get mad.

And then we both laughed.

Because, really, what's a boy-girl tea party without the boy causing a little ruckus?! I wonder what Apple Jack would do?

Then the second part: Would you believe the tiny pitcher broke just before the next tea party? It's still sitting on my kitchen counter waiting for some attention from the hot glue gun. Cate has settled for a gravy boat that we got for our wedding 11 years ago and have never used. It works, even though it's like a giant next to the the tiny tea party set. And, as Cate would tell you, it has blue and green strips and not pink butterflies on it.
________
I'm linking this ordinary motherhood moment with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes. I love the way her link-up encourages people to show their real, imperfect lives. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Grown-up friends

When I make a friend, I assume it's for life. Of course, friendships change as life goes on. We grow up and move away. We walk down the aisle into a new life. We are hired for jobs. Babies are born. Babies become school-aged kids. Calendars get crowded.

But sometimes smart phones shrink distances and friendships get fresh air breathed into them. Perhaps it just takes a text of a picture of a picture of when we gathered all our kids together on a couch two years earlier to remind that it's been too long. At least that's what happened to me last week.

My husband had a Monday meeting near my childhood hometown that's three hours from my new hometown. Of course, "new" is relative; I've been here for a decade. I may not have been born where I live now but it's home.

So I texted Bekah and Shelley a picture of our kids sitting on a couch in December 2011. We were on a five-year streak of having brunch near Christmas, when Shelley and I were near where we all grew up. I loved it. Both of their husbands also childhood friends of mine. Greg is the only one of the six of us who didn't graduated in 1996 or 1997 from Oldham County High School.

We have a history that has helped us stay bonded, but we let each other into our present lives.

Shelley and I weren't in the Louisville area at the same time last Christmas and my family has holiday plans this year that will keep us from going there. In my text to them the other night when I was filling scrapbook pages with memories, I said I was bummed our tradition Christmas brunch wasn't going to happen again. It prompted text conversations with both them. Bekah casually mentioned letting we know when we'd be there. So I did, right then.

"We're actually coming Saturday night for a quick trip because Greg has to work up there Monday. We're going to the zoo on Sunday. Want to go? :) Do you work Monday morning?"

From there, we made a plan. The plan developed as Monday went along. My mom, my kids and I ended up meeting her for breakfast and then going to a playground that also has a spray park {who cares that it wasn't even 80 degrees yet?!}. Katie and her boys joined us there. More out-of-the-blue love happening much sooner than I expected.

Then we all met Greg for lunch. Yep, that's five adults and seven kids 7 and younger. We extended our plan to include a second park {the five boys really needed to run some more ...} after we finished our lunch.

We laughed. We swapped stories from our current lives. We reminisced and talked about the past intersecting the present. We talked about small towns and big plans. We talked about raising babies and being grown ups. We watched the two oldest of our bunch {and the only two girls} befriend each other because when you're 7 and 6 a couple years is enough time to erase the earlier memories of playing once or twice a year. We watched our boys be boys.

So, yes, that's a picture of our kids, who became friends all over again while enjoying a beautiful summer day in Kentucky. But that's not all. That's a snapshot of a continuation of a history God began long ago when us mommas were just kids ourselves. I'm not sure there are many better grown-up moments than watching my kids play with my childhood friends' kids. It's a new chapter in an ongoing story that is certainly worth living.
________

I'm linking this story up with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory. Both are places where true encouragement happens. Like me, they believe telling stories is therapeutic. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Behind the Scenes} An impromptu nap

Aw, how sweet! My boy who doesn't nap on a daily basis anymore decided to get comfy on the futon in his room yesterday afternoon. Fast asleep. For more than an hour. 

Yes, I texted the picture to my good friend Sarah who also has a non-napping 3-year-old boy and my mom, who, well, likes pictures of her grandchildren. Aw, how cute, right?

Right.

And, of course, that sweet, cute picture doesn't tell the whole story.

When Ben woke up after this 90-minute nap, he had missed lunch and peed on the futon. That's "The Jesus Storybook Bible" under his blanket near his head. And he also uncovered my old iPhone that the kids sometimes use. The same one Cate and I couldn't find this afternoon. They're supposed to ask before using it and, obviously, he didn't ask. I'm just glad he didn't get pee all over it. Oh, and, hey, that slip cover I wisely put on the futon is awaiting its turn in the washer and dryer.

And, yes, that's what goes on behind the scenes of ordinary days in this season of mothering little ones, although it's not quite always as comfortable as my boy makes it look.
________
Today I'm participating in "Behind the Scenes," linking up with Crystal Stine. I love the encouragement to share real life happening beyond what a photo shared on Facebook captures. Yet another way for this momma to embrace imperfection. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. {I'm giving away some of my favorite things when I reach 152 "likes."} Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Beneath the surface

We played with my underwater camera last week at the swimming pool and came home with this gem as well as a few others. I soon after made this photo my Facebook cover. Makes me look like the fun mom, right?

Well, maybe. 

It certainly shows how fun my kids are, how they aren't afraid to go under the water, how Ben prefers to swim with his eyes wide open, how Cate requires goggles to see, and how they're quite cute swimming around.

But it doesn't capture everything in my momma heart right now.

I feel God doing a work in me. It's hurting a little because I'm having to let go of selfish desires and self-made plans. But it's freeing to realize {slowly, I'm stubborn ...} that I'm not in charge. It's exciting to see how the Creator of the entire universe is tending to details in my life.

I sense God doing a mighty work in my husband too. He's a businessman, an entrepreneur, but he manages to prioritize his family, seek out authentic relationships with other men, round up guys to play basketball almost weekly, and intentionally build a legacy and learn from those who have gone before him.

I believe God is here with us, changing us moment by moment, promising not to leave us the same.

I've talked about balancing work and play as God gives me opportunities to use my communication and organizational skills. This summer has been the epitome of balancing busyness from responsibilities with play that goes with summer. I'm a summer girl at heart. I want my kids to swim and eat snowcones. I want to take road trips and indulge in the togetherness that doesn't happen in the school year.

So we go to the pool. It's there I feel God reminding me to let go. He nudges me as if he's saying, "Just jump in with them." So I do. That day last week, I set down my Kindle and disconnected my insulin pump and got in. We had this fun, under-the-water photo shoot. I helped my girl practice swimming. I let Ben splash me.

The pool is an easy place for me to parent. The kids are easy there. They like to swim, sometimes together, sometimes with friends they make, sometimes with friends we plane to see, sometimes in their own corners of the pool.  Sometimes I sit there with my Kindle in head, soaking of words. Others times I get in with them. My kids are confident there. They don't ask for much more than an over-priced Airhead from the concession stand. And when I tell them a few hours later that it's time to go, they don't usually negotiate because they're tired.

We come home smelling like chlorine, a scent that takes me back to some of the best moments of my own childhood. Our skin is a tad tanner. They're happy and tired. And I'm reminded that God does indeed meet us wherever we are, even beneath the surface of the water, because he wants us to know peace and joy that come from Him alone.
________
I'm linking up with Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes. I love the encouragement to share real life happening beyond what a photo shared on Facebook captures. Yet another way for this momma to embrace imperfection. I'm also sharing this post with Jen Ferguson's Soli Deo Gloria party and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'. Subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."