Monday, November 11, 2013

Unlocking the door and growing up

My mom, my sister and I unintentionally coordinated for my sister's baby shower in Columbia, Mo., on Saturday.

We all had our roles to play. I was stereotypical first-born who was bossy and wanted them to abide by my rules. Kevin was the typical middle child, a boy sandwiched between two vocal girls. Cassie was the baby who had held her ground well.

We were three in 4 1/2 years. They were athletic and I was good in school. They were rebellious and I was {mostly} a people pleaser who got frustrated with their different-than-me ways.

So one day I locked them out of my room. I installed a new door knob with a lock on the outside and I was the only one with a key. Seriously. {Hanging my head in shame ...} Yes, I may have been the meanest, most judgmental one of us all.

Seriously, I locked my siblings out of my room and, really, out of my life for that season. 

I'm glad I grew up. I'll always be almost three years older than Kevin and more than four years older than Cassie. But I've let go some and realized I'm not in charge. I've certainly realized they aren't just like me and there are plenty of opportunities for me to learn from them.

I can't remember how long I banished them from my room. But now that we're in our 30s, I do know I like being grown-up siblings. I like lingering in restaurants while the kids get restless because we have more stories to share and jokes to tell. I like celebrating and remembering and making new memories when our individual families come together. I like watching our kids befriend each other.

I like that we like each other. 

My little sister turned 30 on Saturday. And I got to see her on her actual birthday, which hasn't happened in a long time. The same day we celebrated the baby boy she's expecting in about five weeks. While I listened to the grown-up version of my little sister talk and laugh during another too-short visit, I wished I hadn't locked that door between us when we were kids. But the key is gone now and thankfully we're better versions of our childhood selves. 

I'm linking this up with Jen Ferguson's Soli Deo Gloria party, where hearts are opened and grace is given. I'm also joining Crystal Stine's Behind the Scenes because there's more happening in that picture of my mom, my sister and I than our unintentional coordinating clothing. 

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  1. Oh I love this!! My sister and I are much better friends now too! ;)

  2. KristinHillTaylor11/11/2013 8:52 PM

    Thanks, Kristin! How far apart are you and your sister, Kristin?

  3. 6 years so growing up I felt I was too cool for her.... So sad because she is wonderful!

  4. bluecottonmemory11/11/2013 9:10 PM

    Love it! Birth order personalities - the by-the-rules first born, rebellious second born and the 3rd? Never mean for meanness - just for the pure joy of it! LOL - Can't wait until they're all sitting around the table like you describe - no more doors locked. Your story is a hope story for this mom in the trenches!!!!

  5. KristinHillTaylor11/11/2013 9:14 PM

    I'm glad you found some hope here. I'm in the trenches with my own two now (they're 6 and almost 4), so it's a good reminder that no season lasts forever! Thanks for commenting here.

  6. This is awesome...totally made me smile. :) I had a seven-years-older-than-me I was pretty much an only child. I SO wanted sisters...but I kind of feel like God is giving them to me now, just in a different way through this community. So blessed...thanks for sharing, friend! :)

  7. I grew up in the dreaded middle child spot with a 3 year older than me brother and a 5 year younger than me sis. Since my sister has moved away I don't get those chances to hear and connect with the adult her but my brother and I are closer now than we have ever been. Like you I am so glad we grew up and grew closer.

  8. KristinHillTaylor11/13/2013 7:46 AM

    It's good to know I'm not alone. :) Thanks for sharing here, Amy! I'm glad you get that adult sibling relationship with your brother. Maybe one day you'll have it with your sister too.

  9. KristinHillTaylor11/13/2013 7:47 AM

    God is good, isn't he? Hoping to meet you in person sort of soon! :)