On Going Home {a #ThreeWordWednesday post}

People talk about going home for Christmas. For me, home is really about people. I don’t live where I grew up, and I love building my home where I am now. But sometimes home goes with me other places.

One of my favorite holiday traditions is getting together with my childhood friend Bekah who is married to another long-time friend of mine. They have three kids who are close in age to Cate and Ben. Some years we get together with other friends of ours, but sometimes it’s just our two families.

Either way, getting together with her is like coming home – regardless of where we actually are. Last year it was a fancy restaurant with just a table full of adults. This year is was brunch with our two families – party of 10, please.

I also got to spend a few hours with my childhood neighbor-turned-best-friend Katie. We can sit and talk wherever we are like no time has lapsed between visits – this time it was in a brightly colored, noisy arcade. Fun fact: We actually used to work at the amusement park that houses the arcade. Now called The Renaissance Fun Park, we were actually there so my kids and their cousins could burn off some energy. They were in the house for DAYS, thanks to all the rain. And, well, all boy moms everywhere understand that doesn’t work.

So while they played laser tag and arcade games, we talked. We reminisced about when we were employees there in the summers of 1997 and 1998, when it was called The Park at Middletown. We took a selfie in the rain because we had to see what had changed and what had stayed the same.

There are a couple other friends I didn’t get to connect with like I wanted to, but I did get to see more family than usual in Louisville this past weekend. Two aunts, two uncles, my grandpa, a cousin and her husband plus my more immediate parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew. I did miss my sister, brother-in-law and their growing family, but they were at home in Buffalo, NY, adjusting to being a family of five with newborn twins.

Walking down memory lane with friends and making new memories is what coming home truly is about for me. The visits don’t always go as planned. I usually want more time before returning to my physical home – which is where my favorites live – but then I get back here and remember it’s where I’m supposed to be.

Here is home too. Sometimes it seems like everything is always changing, but going home and coming home always reminds me of the important foundations that remain the same. Really, life is more about being at home wherever you are than it is actually coming or going home – all while we wait for our eternal home. {Tweet that.}

Who or where is home to you?
_____________________

An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Review & Giveaway} Getting it Together

Kayse Pratt is my kind of girl.

I'm a organizer. But until I sat down to put Kayse's words about a Home Management Notebook to practice, my pile of lists and calendars and projects was a tad out of control. I'd been keeping close a calendar with to-do lists, a notebook with other to-do lists related to various projects, file folders for our vacation lake house and the other vacation rental I help manage, my journal, and the hard copy of the book I'm writing.

Y'all, that's a lot of papers. And I don't really like clutter. "Getting it Together: Your Guide to Setting up a Home Management System that Works" helped me consolidate.

Of course, I also use Google Calendar, which single-handedly improved communication in my marriage. But I really like having a handwritten calendar/list in front of me so I can physically mark off tasks, appointments and assignments as I do them. My grocery list is on my iPhone so I can keep it updated as things come to mind. {Remind me to tell you about the time earlier this month my phone died right after I snapped an Instagram of my grocery helpers. Yeah, my list died with it. I managed to get 12 of the 16 items on my list, well, and then some.}

Kayse's recommendations that led me to organize my organization system came at a really great time.

"No, being organized won’t accomplish world peace. It won’t make you love cleaning, and it won’t counteract the tornado-toddler issue. But it will most definitely bring a little more peace to your home."

{Kayse Pratt in "Getting it Together"}

After spending about 15 minutes reading the simple, practical e-book, I spent about 15 more minutes organizing my papers with printables included in "Getting It Together."

My favorites are the weekly and monthly meal plans, freezer inventory, daily schedule, master project list, cleaning schedule, and the blogging calendar. Kayse has them designed in cute blue and green colors, but I printed plain-o black-and-white copies out of convenience.

Your Home Management System can be as pretty and creative as you like. That's the beauty of this system -- it can be as simple or elaborate as your choose. Kayse's book includes printables pertaining to auto maintenance and finances, but those aren't areas I wanted to include this binder. I did print master project lists for our house as well as each of the vacation rentals.

My categories are Calendar, Around the House, Meals, Blogging, Kentucky Lake Lodge and The Gathering Place. Oh, and I used dividers with pockets, you know, for a little bonus organization. Again, it's wide open. Your categories can be whatever you want them to be. My system is putting all those different notebooks and folders I've been carrying around and keeping close in one place.

It's not quite world peace, but, seriously, organizing these papers and lists is high up on my list of my favorite things. Trust me, this short book is worth your time. And if Kayse didn't live on the other side of the country, I'd be inviting her over so we could scrapbook, write with Sharpies, and perhaps organize another pile I have sitting around here.

You'll want to be her friend too, but perhaps you can start with her book. You can buy the PDF version of "Getting it Together" from KaysePratt.com or the Kindle version from Amazon.com. Both are $3.99.

But one of you will get a free PDF copy, courtesy Kayse! Whoo-hoo! 

To enter, leave a comment below: Do you have an organization system in place for your household? If so, what do you like about it and what would you change? And you'll see there are some other ways to earn extra entries. The giveaway ends Friday.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

________
I received this e-book for free by subscribing free to Kayse's monthly newsletter earlier this year and was offered it again to review, but these opinions are mine and so is the binder I compiled. This post contains affiliates links. 

Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} Opening our imperfect home

My kids are like company leaches, becoming
attached to anyone who comes in our door. 

"Do you want a beautiful home? Sure, take care of the physical space you have. Maintain it, clean it on occasion, and keep it organized enough to find what you need to find. More than anything, however, focus on the people living inside those walls. When you get right down to it, it's those flawed yet precious family relationships that make your house truly beautiful." 

{From "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage}

"Who's coming over for dinner?" is a popular question from my 5 1/2-year-old daughter. Pretty sure she's working on teaching her 3-year-old brother the same question. Many times I'll tell them Daddy will be home after work and just the four of us are going to eat. But plenty of other days I do get to tell her which friends are coming over for dinner.

Truthfully, we like having friends over for dinner, to watched a basketball or baseball game on TV, or to play games. Just this past Saturday, we did all three with a couple of friends. They came over to watch the Murray State vs. Southeast Missouri basketball game on ESPNU. We ate chicken fajitas with Spanish rice during the game and then played two games of Ticket to Ride after my kids were in bed.

It was a great night, but, you know, it wasn't perfect. Truth is, homes don't have to be perfect to be enjoyed and opened. In fact, it's probably better if they weren't. Take Saturday night,  for example, the kitchen did get swept, but that would have happened regardless of whether friends were coming over. {I have a 3-year-old boy who makes a trail of crumbs wherever he eats and I was tried of stepping in whatever was sitting near his chair.} And, actually, that's not even the whole story: My husband and daughter swept while I finally showered at 2:30 in the afternoon.

I made the easiest chicken fajita recipe possible in my Crock Pot {Hey, it's delicious too!} and cooked an easy Spanish rice recipe on the stove top and left it simmer once our friends arrived and we went to the basement to watch basketball. Not long after we sat down, I remembered I have a delicious {and easy ... catching on the trend in my kitchen?!} white cheese recipe I wished I'd thought of earlier when I was at the grocery store buying the ingredients I needed for the fajitas and rice.

Did I mention our friends had to walk through our laundry room to get from the kitchen to the basement? And then walk through again to get from the basement to the kitchen. And back again. And again. Oh, and there was a shirt still drying hanging in the door frame between the kitchen and laundry room. I did clear a path through the laundry room by stacking on top of the washer and dryer the three baskets with five loads of clean laundry awaiting my attention to be folded.

Immediately upon us all taking our seats in the basement as my husband turned on ESPNU, my kids literally were climbing all over our friends. They're like that. They like people. They aren't shy. And, well, really ... I don't have much other explanation for the climbing on someone else's back. But our friends are good sports. They let them climb. And then our friend Kristen read them books, taught them songs, sang said songs who knows how many times, and broke up a couple arguments between my kids. Meanwhile, us three other adults watched the game, giving Kristen replay highlights courtesy our DVR when necessary.

Sometime during the first half, we paused the game and filled our plates in the kitchen then returned to the basement, where our kids claimed {probably wisely} the only two flat table-like surfaces for their plates while us four adults ate from the plates balanced on our knees. But, hey, this way we could keep watching our beloved Racers, who struggled through the first half and then picked it up behind in time during the second half to claim a victory.

Homemaking and hospitality are kind of like that. There were {and sometimes still are} struggles for me figuring out that my home and life don't have to be perfect to invite others in. But once they're here and real life is shared I feel like I've come away with a win. And it's my hope my friends do too.
________

This is yet another post in an ongoing series about how God's teaching me to embrace imperfection. You can read my previous posts inspired by "No More Perfect Moms" here. I received a free PDF copy of Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms" as part of the book's launch team, but I truly want to embrace this message and the opinions and experiences are really mine. Learn more about ordering the book here. I wrote this post to link up to Jill Savage's blog, but I posted it an entire week early. Ah ... embracing imperfection! So I've linked up now a week later. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{7 Things} I don't do

Apparently sitting in a sink didn't make my
Things I Don't Do list when I was 14 months old.

I happened upon a new-to-me blog last week and read "Things I Don't Do" while browsing The Diaper Diaries. So here is my own list of things I just don't do, even though plenty of people do. It's quite freeing to create the opposite of a to-do list.

1. Pinterest.
I created an account once, about 11 months ago. I found a fabulous ornament wreath idea that I ended up making, but then I only got back on Pinterest to delete my account several months later. For me, I don't need another thing to suck my time or give me more ideas that clog my mind from focusing on what's in front of me. I realize I'm pretty much the only stay-at-home mom who likes crafts anywhere who doesn't do Pinterest, but I'm OK with that. And I'm OK with my friends who are creative geniuses and feel at home there.

2. Garden.

I wish I had onions and squash and garlic and banana peppers and potatoes growing in my back yard. But I don't. Maybe one day I will. But I don't need another responsibility right now. 

3. Iron.

Seriously. We've lived in our current house for three years, and I haven't once opened the ironing board. Truthfully, I'm not even sure we have one. My husband steams his own work shirts, well, the ones that aren't wrinkle resistant. 

4. Drink coffee, tea or beer.

Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Really, I don't really like hot drinks of any kind. I can tolerate hot chocolate on a really cold day.  I've lived my whole life in Kentucky, which has plenty of sweet tea. But I think it's gross. I think unsweetened tea is gross too. And, well, beer is gross too. I do really like Diet Dr Pepper though.

5. Bake. 

Unless it comes from a box, and even those boxed desserts are limited to Ghiradelli brownies and Betty Crooker brookies. 

6. Mow the lawn.
I grew up with a dad and brother who mowed our yard. My mom even occasionally did. My sister may have, but I don't really remember her doing so. Then I lived on campus in a dorm for four years. Then I spent about another year in a Louisville apartment. And then I got married and we spent our first year in a Lexington apartment. When we moved into a house in 2003, my husband mowed, even though it's not his favorite chore. And, well, now the lawn care company my husband started mows our yard along with many others. 

7. Miss my kids' newborn days.
It's true. I longed to have a family. I cried many tears over not being able to get pregnant. God grew my faith during our first adoption process more than any other single season of my life. But I'm not the kind of mom who cries at first birthday parties or when my baby takes her/his first steps. There's plenty of bittersweet moments {like when my boy said, "I love you," instead of his typical "I love lou" today and I immediately texted my husband to inform him ...}, but getting up in the middle night to feed a baby isn't once of those for me. Either is the packing however many bottles are necessary for however long whatever given outing will be. I like walking and talking and drinking from a sippy cup phases. And, hello, being able to read. 

What about you? What relatively normal things aren't for you? 
________
Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

Connecting at the table

This post is inspired by Jill Savage's "Third Thursday Blog Hop," which asked the question: How do you connect as a family? Yes, I know it's Friday. But, you know, better late than never.

I gave this sign of "rules" to Greg for our first-date anniversary earlier this year. I wanted to celebrate the process that began when he asked me out for ice cream 14 years ago and has continued into parenthood. Some seasons have been hard. Others have been downright ugly. But so many have been sweet and plenty have been adventurous.

Greg and I jumped off a bridge together. It was exciting and daring and a one-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. It's one of the big moments woven together with the smaller moments that make our life.

More days than not are ordinary. He goes to work. I change diapers and full with milk and juice. I drive kids to school and grocery shop. I meet friends at the park. He goes to meetings because he believes in serving our church and community. We have friends over for dinner and play Settlers of Catan.

And one of my favorite constants is the four of us having dinner together. Thus "SIT DOWN for DINNER" on our family rules.

Oh, you thought that was a reminder to my 2 1/2-year-old son who likes to kneel and constantly move around in his chair during any meal, creating scattered crumbs like a trail of where he has been? Well, yes, that too. 

But the bigger picture is we believe our family is and will be stronger because we prioritize each other and the meals we share. I've decided cooking isn't so bad the past few years, but these meals aren't even about the food. They are about the time and conversations. We tell Daddy about our day, and he tells some about his. But, truthfully, seeing a worm crawling at the park and the first week of kindergarten make for better conversations than home closings and small business incorporation.

While talking about the ordinary moments we've stay bonded even when we our ankles aren't tied together so we can safely jump off a bridge. This bond helps us {usually} stay united while we make spiritual, financial and parenting decisions that may challenge us. And it helps us enjoy each other.

Even with cornbread crumbs scattered across the floor and constant reminders to sit down until everyone is done, being around the table helps us connect in a world that is full of busy schedules and temptations to keep moving along at a pace that will eventually pull us apart. So, yes, we sit down for dinner. We walk away filled, and not just from food.
________
Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

home & away

I'm going away for the weekend. Without my kids. For the second time this month.

After this weekend, I will have spent more nights [four] away from my kids than I had previously [three] in Cate's almost four years of life. Not that I'm keeping track. But I do think about it because it's hard for me.

I want to put a disclaimer in here, now, that I realize every family, every mom, every kid is different. People have different needs. People have different ways of coping. People have different responsibilities and are blessed in different ways. So what I'm going to say about me may have absolutely nothing to do with you.

And that's OK. We'll still be friends.

I like to check on my kids before I go to bed. I've done it nearly every night for the 47 months Cate has been in our family. And I've done it for the almost 17 months Ben has been here. I plan to keep doing it for a long time.

Likewise, I like the couple hours Greg and I have without kids most evenings. We watch TV and movies. We play Words with Friends or whatever two-person game is our current addiction. Sometimes we have things to talk about. Sometimes he works and I fold laundry. But it's a break from answering questions, changing diapers, filling a sippy cup with soy milk, explaining what we're going to do next, reassembling a toy, reminding Ben not to climb there or stick his hand in the toilet, and asking Cate to remember Ben is smaller than she is.

The evenings on the couch with my husband are my time to be refreshed as a mom. Of course, I squeeze in time to read on the porch swing while they're napping, texting and Facebooking my friends from the convenience of my iPhone, or meeting a friend and her kids for lunch during the day. Those are times of refreshment as well.

And every now and then I get to do something fun with just Greg. Like go to the Final Four. Or a baseball game. Or an amusement park. Maybe even dinner and a movie. And those times are sweet. And they're good for my kids too because they need to know their Daddy and I love each other and value our marriage.

But I never want leaving my kids to be easy. I never want to want to leave them. I want to always want to be home.

With Greg.

With my kids.

Because this is where God called me to be, and it's the hardest, most unpredictable, most rewarding place I've ever been.

Coming home

We were glad to come home when Ben was about 25 hours old. I asked the pediatrician if we could leave "early," although I had already mentioned my idea to a couple of nurses, so this question was not news by the time the pediatrician came to our room to talk to me about Ben. I think the combination of this being our second child, having a toddler at home, Ben weighing enough and eating enough, and having Thanksgiving later in the week worked to our advantage.

The biggest snafu came when we learned the court wanted a different type of paperwork before we could get the necessary order to leave the hospital. Our attorney originally filed for us to have guardianship when apparently temporary custody was the preferred route. Regardless, after Greg spent most of the day on the phone and with the attorney who works for our attorney who was unavailable, re-visiting the birth mom with different papers to sign and a trip to see the courthouse in Benton, where the family court judge was working, we got what we needed and were able to come home.

It was a good night to have our family of four under the same roof. And Ben seemed satisfied when we introduced him to his crib.

Growing up ... at Christmas

I'm 29 years old and this is the first Christmas morning I've woken up without my parents there. Yeah, I know, grow up, Kristin. But, you should know, I'm not complaining as much as I am thinking about traditions.

It was nice waking up in my own house. With my husband. With my daughter. And doing our own thing. Granted, Cate is 19 months old, so our own thing is still developing. But this year was our start of something new.

We had a nice dinner Christmas Eve + then drove around looking at Christmas lights. Then Christmas morning we opened presents + ate cinnamon rolls.



We mostly just do stockings, but it didn't quite all fit in there. Cate was pretty good at unwrapping things ...

... and even knew to throw the paper away later. Notice she's still holding some keys, which were quite a hit.

Sunday morning

Some Sunday mornings Greg goes to church a couple hours before us so he can practice with the worship band. Today was one of those days. And in between making some holiday treats for the nursery workers, making a veggie pizza for the potluck after church and getting the two of us ready, I decided to document some random moments.

Cate loves brushing her teeth. I'm not really sure what that extra finger is doing in her mouth, but it (and others) have been in her mouth often lately as she cuts her second set of molars.

She also likes to play on our bed. When I was getting dressed this morning, she pulled up that blanket and said, "Night Night." She really just looked through her book while lounging on the bed. Does she look small on that big bed?

Then while I was fixing my hair, Cate played in her room. When I checked on her, I saw she learned to climb on her toy box. Apparently she also was thinking about her morning nap that is no more (at least for the last four days, and that's the routine for which we're striving ...) because she got her blanket out of her crib, carried it with her on top of the toy box and stuck that thumb in her mouth!

14. Home

I never expected to be a stay-at-home mom. But I'm glad I am.

I'm thankful I don't miss many moments with my 18-month-old daughter. I'm thankful I don't have to rush to do all the little things it takes to make a house a home. I'm thankful I can help Greg with the company some but mostly take care of our home.

If you want a recap: The decision. The last day. The one-year anniversary.