My Thanksgiving Baby

Ben’s birth story is an excerpt from “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” which is available on Amazon and tells about the hard season of infertility that led to two adoption processes and the days since. And, more recently, we’ve welcomed a third child into our family and are in the process of adopting Rachel, who was born in September 2015. In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, “Peace in the Process” is on sale for 99 cents through Nov. 24.

On Saturday, November 21, 2009, my sister-in-law Angela asked me what my perfect timing would be for Ben to be born. Leigh, my son’s birth mom, had been on bed rest because he’d threatened to come early, so we were glad he was still inside growing at 38-plus weeks. I answered Angela’s question honestly: Sunday or Monday.

Well, Monday started with me going with Leigh to a check-up appointment. We learned she was 5-6 centimeters dilated. Given that she had initially dilated two months earlier, we were happy to be just eight days from his due date. Our doctor friend was confident he’d deliver our son soon and wanted Leigh to get ready for delivery.

Turns out, he was right.

After Leigh and I made necessary arrangements, we met at the hospital a little later that day.

Benjamin Lucas was born November 23, 2009, three blocks from our house. His sister, who was almost 31 months old, was thrilled to welcome him into our family. Once again God knew the desires of our heart and fulfilled them in his time. He showed us his faithfulness in such a tangible way. This time it came into the world at 2:56 p.m. the Monday before Thanksgiving, weighing 7 pound 10 ounces and with a head full of dark hair. ...

Six years ago, Ben’s first outing was on Thanksgiving to my in-law’s house, where the turkey was 2.75 times my boy’s weight. After being unsure if I would become a momma, having a second child in a way only God could orchestrate makes me especially thankful. He’ll forever be my Thanksgiving baby – which is quite appropriate, really.

Join me today at Circles of Faith, where I’m sharing the rest of this excerpt about my Thanksgiving baby. 
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

a beautiful exchange {guest post & giveaway}

One of my favorite things about the internet is connecting with people who share interests. And y'all know adoption is a favorite topic around here. Megan Nilsen sent me a copy of her book, which is an adoption story, but, really, it's a story of saying yes to God. I've enjoyed reading it — often with my own latest adoption story in my arms. 

I'm excited to welcome Megan to my online home so she can share a piece of her story. And stay with us until the end because she's going to share her book with TWO OF YOU! 

Before starting the adoption process, we decided to interview families we knew who had adopted.

Perhaps many of you did the same. After all, we figured these families had walked the road already and may have some wisdom to share. Boy did they! Adoptive families are some of the absolute coolest.

Nearly without fail, every conversation we had could be boiled down to one main theme. Time and again we heard these words ...

“Adoption is the hardest thing we’ve ever done, but it’s absolutely the best.”

And each time, I would walk away from the conversation or hang up the phone and think, “Really? Is that what we want? Hard?? I mean, we totally want to follow God’s call ... Yes, we want the best! But do we really want the possible hard that comes with it? It all seems so — risky.”

For a long time, the idea remained just that. An idea.

The notion of adoption comfortably took a back seat as the daily regimen of school choir concerts, dance recitals and soccer games filled our days with our older two. The idea sifted through my mind every so often like sand in an hourglass. My mental to-do/prayer list (they often overlap) read as follows:

* Don’t forget to buy milk.
* Figure out the name of that cool paint color from the Pottery Barn catalog.
* Please be with Uncle So-and-So who is battling cancer.
* Email the teacher to ask about the field trip tomorrow.
* Also, God — if you’re calling us to adopt, just remember our hearts are “open.” And if
you do want us to adopt, could you please write it in the sky or something? That
would be helpful. Thanks.

God didn’t exactly write it in the sky, but he wrote the call on our hearts. As they days ticked by, we couldn’t get the drum beat of these thoughts out of our head. Like a catchy lyric turning over and over in my mind, this idea of adoption, that it might possibly be for us, kept knocking at the door of our hearts and wouldn’t abate.

Four years have passed now since we brought our two youngest home from Ethiopia at the tender ages of eight and five. And I am among the ranks of those saying those exact words to others — Adoption has been by far the hardest thing, but it unequivocally the best.

Lest you be deceived into thinking this story had a fairy-tale ending, I can assure you the transition home was nothing short of “other-worldly” for the lot of us. Grief loomed large over our home for quite a while, manifesting in all sorts of tantrums and tears. And not only from the kids! I must confess, my own heart wrestled to embrace the new family dynamics as well.

In the months that followed, I began a journey of my own — a journey that has rearranged everything I thought I knew about life and love. So much so, I often wondered if life would ever return to “normal.”

Thankfully, God exchanged my short-sighted plan for a new, exponentially more beautiful normal — one drafted by His own hand.

Sometimes I imagine attachment in adoption like a tree. A tree that needs time and tender care to sprout and grow. A tree that brings with it the gift of new life. This “adoption” tree has ushered me into perspectives of the Kingdom I don’t think I would have experienced otherwise. The fruit it bears brings us more joy, growth and continuous beauty than we ever dreamed possible.

God’s tender love and mercy drew us to this tree. To eat of its fruit opens our eyes to a bit of heaven on earth. While this journey of adoption has brought me to the end of myself, it has also ushered me to the foot of the cross.

That is a gift for which I am forever grateful. It truly is, a beautiful exchange!
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Megan Nilsen is the mother of four children — two biological, two adopted, and by all accounts the most beautiful kids in the world (at least according to their unbiased mother). She is married to her college sweetheart. Together, they believe the local church is the hope of the world. When she’s not coordinating crazy carpool schedules, she rejuvenates as part of the teaching team for her church’s weekly Bible study. Megan passionately pursues writing as a way to process God’s ever-active work in the world. She gets the biggest rush out of connecting with people and swapping stories of the heart. She and her family live in Colorado. You can find her blogging about it all with two of her dearest friends at www.writinginpencil.com.
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And now for the giveaway! Use the Rafflecopter widget below for multiple ways to enter to win one of the two copies of "A Beautiful Exchange." The giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents. Two winners will be randomly selected on Wednesday, Nov. 25.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

OPEN HEAVEN / River Wild {a review & giveaway}

I like different kinds of music for different moments in life. I have my favorite road trip songs and know which songs will help improve my mood. There are songs that take me back to moments I want to remember and the ones that remind of my people I love.

Hillsong’s newest worship album “OPEN HEAVEN / River Wild” released last month. For me, it’s good music to play while I’m working on other things. I had it playing on my laptop when I was writing blog posts, scheduling social media, and responding to emails recently. I liked it for that because truth filled the silences but I wasn’t distracted from what I was doing.

I enjoy live music, so that’s another reason I enjoyed this worship album, which the Hillsong Worship and UNITED teams recorded in July at the Hillsong Conference in Sydney, Australia. It’s the 24th annual live worship album by Hillsong.

The opening track – “O Praise The Name” – may be my favorite.

“… O praise the Name of the Lord our God / O praise His Name forevermore / For endless days we will sing Your praise / Oh Lord, oh Lord our God / He shall return in robes of white / The blazing sun shall pierce the night / And I will rise among the saints / My gaze transfixed on Jesus’ face …”

I also really like track 10, “In God We Trust.” It’s an anthem packed with promises about the One in whom we believe and praising who He is and what’s he doing.

“… Now in God we trust / In His Name we hope I know / God will not be shaken / God is here with us / He’s already won I know / God will not be shaken / You’ll finish what You’ve begun / Forever strong in Your love / Your Name is sure / And You will fight for us / Our hope forever secure / In You alone …”

GIVEAWAY :: Capitol Christian Music Group sent me two copies of this CD – one to review and one for you. But the songs are imported to my iTunes account, so I’m going to giveaway both copies! Admittedly, one has been opened and put in my laptop (once!), but it’s like new and can be enjoyed by someone else.

Use the Rafflecopter below for multiple entries. TWO WINNERS will be randomly chosen on Friday, Nov. 20. {And if you don’t win or just can’t wait, you can order the album on iTunes or Amazon.}

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Capital Christian Music Group gave me a CD to review and another one to giveaway, but these opinions are my own. This post also contains Amazon affiliate links.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Not Unto Death {a guest post for #ThreeWordWednesday}

I have a treat for you today. I want you to meet my friend Britta LaFont, who encourages well while teaching scripture. She regularly links up with #ThreeWordWednesday and we are in an online blogging group together. And today she's here to share a story with you. 

Photo Credit :: photodee / 123RF Stock Photo

When the phone rang, I thought it was my parents, calling to wish Joshie Boy a happy seventh birthday. Our little family was gathered around the table, laughing and soaking up this golden moment. We were at the end of a long, hard health season for my husband.

It was Momma on the other end of the line and I could tell she had been crying. She had surgery two weeks before, a hernia repair, and they removed some fatty tissue from the area. When Momma had her post-operative checkup, what was supposed to be a routine appointment suddenly turned very serious.

The tissue sample came back as cancer, with undifferentiated cells. The experts in the lab couldn’t tell what kind of cancer from the sample, but it turned out to be very advanced ovarian.

The moment she called was surreal. I rose from the table and wandered into my bedroom, settling on the floor of my quiet walk-in-closet. The party sounds were muffled. The wooden kitchen table was a long way off. The news seemed impossible: she … a non-smoker, non-drinker, with no "female" cancers in her medical history?

Not long afterward, during my devotional time, I ran across the story of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. As I read it, I felt peace fall on me. Remember the one? When Lazarus was sick, and things looked bleak, Mary and Martha called for Jesus, saying, “Lord, behold, he whom you love is sick.”

When Jesus heard that, He said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (John 11:3-4, KJV).

Not unto death. Those words encouraged me and, when I shared them with Mom, she told me that passage had been warming her heart too.

One morning a few weeks later, as I talked with the kids about Mom’s cancer, I told them they were very important in this process, because we needed their prayers. Then we opened the Bible for our scheduled daily reading and turned to the story in Luke 5:17-26.

A paralytic man was brought to Jesus by his friends, but the crowd around Jesus was so great, that they had to lower him down through the roof of the house. They were so sure that Jesus could help him, and they loved him so much, that nothing could stop them from bringing their friend to Jesus for healing. We felt an immediate connection with this story.

I was amazed – I had not previewed the bible lesson. We reread the verses and inserted my mom's name throughout the passage. It was a powerful moment. We brought her to Jesus. And we felt comforted that He would heal her too, just like the man in the story, so that in the end, it could be said about all of us that “amazement seized them all, and they glorified God and were filled with awe, saying, ‘We have seen extraordinary things today’” (Luke 5:26).

A little more than four years later, my mother and father volunteer every Tuesday at the hospital where she was treated for stage 3C ovarian cancer. Daddy pushes wheelchairs and Momma prays with people. She gardens, travels, cooks for the sick, and recently started a women’s ministry at her small church. We are all thankful her sickness was not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it. {Tweet that.}
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Britta LaFont is a sojourner. She was a military kid and is a military wife. She lives in the hot, hot desert of Arizona far, far away from her New Orleans family. She gratefully homeschools two of her most favorite people on the planet: 12-year-old Gracie and 10-year-old Josh. Britta and her husband Scott recently celebrated their 21st Anniversary and foresee a happy ending to this military life in the very near future. Britta writes about how loving God and loving people are helping her learn to love life at Britta Lafont ~ Walking in Love.
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Count it ALL joy {even while waiting & in trials}

Kayla Slack and I met at an adoptive moms retreat Hope That Binds hosted earlier this year. I understood her story because I’d been there too. We connected that day and have gotten together several times since. We talk adoption often and I’ve been so excited to pray for and be a small part of her journey to motherhood. 

She’s sharing about waiting and choosing joy in her post today, but I have to let you know in on a God moment. On Oct. 26, the day she wrote this post, Kayla and her husband, Casey, were matched with a birth mom. THE SAME DAY. After she emailed me this post about waiting and choosing joy, God revealed some of his plan for her family. The texts that followed included many exclamation points, but the basic news is Kayla and Casey Slack are going to welcome a baby boy into their family in February. 

While celebrating with them, continue to pray for them and the brave birth mom in Texas as they all navigate the emotions and process that is adoption. Coming alongside families like the Slacks is just one way you can celebrate National Adoption Awareness Month. 

We were led to adoption this time about a year ago because of our struggle with infertility. We both had always known we would adopt, but we figured it would be later on down the road. I was on fertility medicine that literally made me go crazy, so we felt led to stop pursuing fertility treatment at that time.

I wanted to pursue adoption as soon as we made the choice to start … like right then, that same day. I tend to set a timeline, make plans, work hard to see that it happens and have control over it, and then I am crazy upset when it fails. This was October 2014 and we decided to wait until January 2015 to begin our process. We printed applications, met with others who were adopting or had adopted to gather info, and prayed.

In attempt to control the timing I got more upset because my timeline was not working out. In January, God led my heart to wait until March and I obeyed but felt like that was years away! March came, and guess what? We waited a little more. I felt like God said to wait six more months. I counted up six months and thought, "Oh, September? Nah, God does not want me to wait until then. August. August sounds better."

Coming closer to that time, we got our documents gathered and had our home study visit. Guess what? We became active in SEPTEMBER with Faithful Adoption Consultants. Praise the Lord that His will and his plans are higher and better and they always work out no matter how hard we attempt to make ours work.

This waiting process has been so hard but so amazing. I am learning there is always purpose in waiting. The sanctification that comes along in waiting for something your heart longs for is tremendous. Praise God he does not leave us where we are! He draws us so close to Him and makes us more like Him!

Many of you know the infertility struggle well. The heart aching, longing, crying, begging, screaming, bitterness, and jealousy you have to fight through to find happy words and a smile when others get what you beg the Lord for constantly. It was one of the hardest times of my life. I wanted to be kind, sweet, and joyful for others.

Waiting for me in our adoption process has been hard, yet beautiful. I am supposed to count it all joy when trials come (James 1:2). I am to rejoice. I have been begging God to be excited and so happy first when someone gets something I want because it is a time to celebrate! I am also learning that it is okay to be sad. I used to think that it was wrong if I was sad and happy at the same time. I am learning to choose those joyful feelings over the sad ones, but I know now that I am going to feel those together sometimes.

God is showing me that He is my true treasure. I do not know why I tend to forget this so much! He is what I long for. If I get nothing else in this life, I should be content with the Lord alone. He is really all I need. He is my peace. And even in my toughest and darkest days He will give me peace. I don't think I ever really understood hope either until I have waited for a baby. Some days I have cried so hard and told my husband I feel like I have no hope and that this is never going to happen. (For those of you who do not know me, I am VERY emotional and my emotions are strong!)

I am learning to look past those feelings and know truth despite what I am feeling. We really do have hope. All of us do. My husband keeps telling me, "Babe, it is okay. We are going to get a baby." But you know what? Even if we don't get a baby, it is okay too because we have hope. Our hope is in the Lord. My hope is not in growing our family although sometimes I have allowed it to be.

I praise God because he has made my heart to find joy in life being created, even if that life was not meant to live with me. And, yeah, waiting is hard, but I know the longer I wait the more the Lord is going to teach me and the more I am going to be like Him. So I will wait – and I will be joyful, and sad sometimes. I will continue to cry because that is what I do, but I will also hold onto hope.
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Kayla Slack has been married for almost three years and has longed to share parenthood with her husband Casey. She's a registered nurse, lover of animals and babies, friend to the elderly, and one of three girls (including her twin sister!). She lives in Murray, KY. 
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Choose the Joy

Mary Carver from Giving Up on Perfect is one of my favorite writer friends from the internet. She edited my ebook, writes about some of my favorite things (choosing joy, letting go of perfection, television shows, and bacon ...), and is one of the people I hope to hang out with in real life one day. Until then, Mary is here sharing about choosing the joy one fall day and inviting you to be part of her book's launch team! 

When you buy your kids matching jack o’lantern shirts, there’s an expiration date on appropriate photo-taking opportunities. I mean, sure, they can wear them after Halloween, but it’s a little lame. And making them wear them on the same day and posting all the pictures I snapped on Facebook? Just doesn’t make since once we hit November.

So last week, just a couple days before those shirts were as irrelevant as the VCR sitting in my garage, I put them on my daughters and told them we were going outside.

We grabbed a couple of the pumpkins off the front porch and headed out to the soggy, leaf-covered back yard. I cheered and bribed and begged until I had at least one shot of both girls smiling at the same time. Then I gave up and let them run around like chickens for a while.

[Side note: I don’t know that they literally ran around like chickens. Maybe monkeys? Or just kids giddy to be outside after being indoors most the day. Whatever, they went a little nuts.]

As they ran from tree to fence to tree and back, slipping on hills and sliding on leaves, they couldn’t stop grinning. I could hear, “Freedom” by George Michael playing in my head as I realized that these poor babies really had been cooped up for too long. (Our backyard was overrun by mosquitos and spiders this summer, so for a while it was go to the park or stay inside. In hindsight, not my best mom move. #liveandlearn)

ANYWAY. They played while I watched and snapped a few dozen more pictures. My 8-year-old decided to create a nest for the birds and nothing I could say convinced her that was unnecessary. Meanwhile, my almost-2-year-old discovered how fun it was to roll pumpkins down the hill at the back of the yard.

After a while I said, “Okay, it’s time to go inside. I need to cook dinner!”

I’m sure, if you’ve ever met a child, you can imagine how well that was received. The NOOOOOOs came fast and furious, with a little bit of negotiating from my oldest for good measure. As she ran through her objections and recommended revisions to my plan, she finally landed on a good one. She said: “But, Mom! We’re CHOOSING JOY out here! Don’t you want to take more pictures of us CHOOSING JOY?!”

Well played, child. I see a debate team in your future.

See, my daughter knows that my first book is coming out in a couple months – and she knows the focus is all about finding joy. And, most importantly to her argument, she knows I’ve been working hard to really take the lessons to heart and intentionally choose joy in my day-do-day life.

So that afternoon, as the sun continued to set and we got colder and dinner got later, I decided to choose the joy. I decided to choose my girls and to choose the moment and to choose the joy.

And I decided to make use of that frozen pizza I had bought for nights exactly like that one.

I’m not always good at recognizing the opportunity for joy in my life. Sometimes it takes the heart – and, let’s be honest, the mouth – of a child to make me stop running through my to-do list and start running toward my kids as they laugh in a pile of leaves.

Is it hard for you to choose joy? When was the last time you did?

If you’d like more inspiration to choose the joy, you can find it in "Choose Joy: Finding Hope & Purpose When Life Hurts." And if you’d like to help spread the word about the book, I’d love for you to apply for the Choose Joy Launch Team! Click here to apply.
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Mary Carver is a writer, speaker, and recovering perfectionist. She lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons, but she lives because of God's grace. Mary writes about her imperfect life with humor and honesty, encouraging women to give up on perfect and get on with life, at her blog, GivingUpOnPerfect.com. She is also a regular contributor to several other websites, including (in)courage, a women's website from Dayspring. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{God-sized Dreams} Thankfulness for the hard days

More than two years ago, we were in what we thought would be our family’s third adoption process. But I hesitate to call it a process because we weren’t getting anywhere and hadn't been for quite some time. We met closed doors even though we believed we were pursuing God’s will for our family.

We ended up laying down our desires because my husband Greg and I each had peace that was right – at least until God told us otherwise. ...

So we let go.

And we lived.

And then about 18 months later, God surprised us. He renewed the desire to adopt in a fresh way. He guided conversations between Greg and I. We asked for prayer because we believed God was moving in a new way. ...

Thankfully, the hard days were a just season. {Tweet that.}

Isaiah 43:19 offers so much hope when the days are dreary:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

I’m thankful God was working in my life even when that season didn’t look like I envisioned. I’m thankful God made himself known even when we made the hard decision to stop pursuing adoption. I’m thankful he once again knew the desire of my heart and made is a reality in his time – which was better than my time anyway. And I’m thankful God didn’t leave me stranded in the wasteland.

Join me at God-sized Dreams to continue reading this post.
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

7 Things I Learned in October

We’re settled in as a family of five and things are are going well. So well, I can’t believe we’re at the end of October. Maybe more people makes time go faster ... okay, probably not. Even so, here are tidbits from my month ...

1. More Gilmore Girls is coming!

Specifically, four 90-minute episodes on Netflix in 2016. Whoo-hoo! You can find all kinds of articles on Google, but here’s the first one I read when the news hit social media.

2. My baby girl is petite but strong.

She’s measuring in the 25th percentile in both height and weight, but she also likes to be on her belly and hold her head up. I can’t believe she’ll be six weeks old tomorrow!

3. A little glue can help a head wound well.

I don’t mean Elmer’s, although the surgical glue seemed about the same! Ben tripped at the playground during Fall Break and landed face-first on the ground … and apparently on a rock that punctured his head. (Yes, this is his second rock-induced injury, if you’re keeping track.)

4. The 62nd of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses is my favorite: “The true treasure of the Church is the Most Holy Gospel of the glory and the grace of God.”

I read through all of the 95 statements, propositions and questions that Luther wrote, thus prompting the Protestant Reformation, because I was organizing an activity for Reformation Day – which happens to be today at my kids’ school.

5. The Marketside BBQ Chopped Salad from Walmart is amazing.

So amazing, I went in Walmart, which I usually avoid, JUST FOR THE SALAD. And AFTER I already grocery shopped across the street at Kroger. I may be obsessed. I just wish I could order the salad online …

6. Thanksgiving is just as good a month early.

We have a tradition celebrating Thanksgiving with three other families. (If you’ve read my ebook, I talk about this tradition and these people in there.) Well, unfortunately, one of those families is moving, so we celebrated early. I’m so glad we did. Sure, Thanksgiving comes officially in November, but giving thanks is good any time of the year. And the turkey, dressing, green beans, jalapeno corn, rolls, cheesecake, and strawberry cake tasted as good as ever.

(And, no, I did not make the turkey this year. Praise God!)

7. Political sign stakes can effectively double as hot dog roasters.

I learned this because I suggested it to Greg earlier this month when we decided to have an impromptu hot dog roast for dinner with friends and didn’t have an wire hangers. It worked well, which I can say confidently based on the tastiness of the end result.

Tell me about your October. How did you spend it? What did you learn?
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I'm linking up with Emily Freeman for my favorite monthly recaps. Read other Things I Learned posts ::

{2013} June. July. August. September. October. November. 

{2014} January. February. March. April. May. June. 

July. August. September. October. November. December. 
{2015} January. February. March. April. May. June. 
July. August. September.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Place to Stand {a #ThreeWordWednesday post}

Blogging and building a platform often go hand in hand. Sometimes success is judged on the numbers, like the amount of likes and shares of how many times a post was viewed.

But God is showing me how having a platform isn’t about attracting the masses, but rather it’s about standing on his promises in whatever he’s called me to do.

My platform may be small and local. It probably looks nothing like yours. And that’s okay. In fact, that’s how it’s supposed to be. We each have our part to play, our place to stand. That’s how God is best made known anyway.

I’ve seen pictures of writer friends at conferences. I’ve been invited to gather with like-minded people who write for a contributors’ site in which I’m involved. I’ve hoped to meet people from the Internet in real life or visit the ones I’ve already met.

But God keeps telling me to stay.

He’s showed me where I’m supposed to be. And, yes, I like it here, even though this was never my plan. Here is where my husband and I are together. Here is with my three kids. Here is with my local church, my kids’ school, and friends who are like family. Here is with an adoption community I believe God has called me to help lead.

I like to travel. I like connecting with people I already love. And I like conferences. But sometimes saying no to good things opens the door for God to do great things. {Tweet that.}

And that’s what I want, so I’m saying yes to what God has made clear is my place to be.

For this season in my life, here is my platform. Yes, it looks more like a messy kitchen and chaotic mini van than a stage with pretty lights. My husband and children are my neighbors. My conversations with other adoptive mommas happen on Facebook, in texts, around tables. My service happens in my local community and my kids’ school hallways.

These are the yeses I have no doubts about. And right here is the kind of platform I’m ready to stand on.
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Strong and Kind {review & giveaway}

I’ve long said I want to raise independent kids who love Jesus.

And that’s true.

Sort of.

I want to raise kids who love Jesus. But I don’t want them to be so independent they miss the point of following Jesus – to glorify God – and fail to notice others around him. This is what I thought about as I read “Strong and Kind” by Korie Robertson.

Strong and kind are the characteristics she wants her kids to exhibit. She discusses these and other admirable traits in the book. And I’m revising my statement.

I want to raise kids are compassionate and joyful – and love Jesus, of course.

In her book, Korie reminded me that while being intentional with a couple traits is a good parenting plan, ultimately raising someone who follows Jesus means there will be evidence of many traits that tend to overlap anyway.

I appreciated Korie’s family-first approach to living in community and using that environment to shape who children become. She spends the first part of the book sharing about the importance of good character with many personal examples. The second section is devoted to identifying the character traits you want to see in your children. Finally, the third part offers advice on how to parent kids of character.

“Strong and Kind” isn’t a how-to book, but it is a resource with much encouragement, Biblical foundation, and real-life stories.
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ABOUT THE BOOK :: In her new book “Strong and Kind: And Other Important Character Traits Your Child Needs to Succeed,” Korie Robertson argues that developing good character in our children is the single most important thing we can do to help ensure they lead happy, healthy adult lives.

Robertson explores key traits and what they truly look like in action, asks readers to select the two traits that they hope to see most in their children, and shares hands-on ways for nurturing strength of character. Written with her mother Chrys Howard and featuring stories and wisdom from husband Willie, “Strong and Kind” cuts through the contemporary cacophony of parenting manuals to rediscover, unfold, and embrace the enduring wisdom that has guided the best parents for centuries.

Hardcover; 240 pages; published by Harper Collins Christian Publishing (Oct. 27, 2015). Learn more about the book's website.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Korie Robertson, wife of Duck Commander CEO Willie Robertson and star of A&E's beloved series “Duck Dynasty,” is a mother of five a New York Times bestselling author of several books. She is also an in-demand public speaker, Duck Commander executive, founder of boutique Duck and Dressing, and philanthropist, who remains active with a variety of organizations that focus on children, adoption, and foster care. Korie lives with her family in West Monroe, Louisiana.

Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

GIVEAWAY :: And I have a copy for one of you! PLUS an exclusive workbook that’s not sold anywhere. Use the Rafflecopter widget below for various ways to enter to win. This giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents. A winner will be randomly chosen Wednesday, Nov. 4.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Many thanks to Propeller Consulting/FlyBy Promotions for providing me with a copy of this book to review as well as the additional book and workbook for one of you! If you have won a prize from Propeller/FlyBy in the last 30 days or have won this same book from another blog, you’re not eligible to win.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Love had a plan for us

“When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

and how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,

oh, how He loves us,

how He loves us all.”

{Listen here}

We were singing that song in church and I was holding my sleeping Rachel. Cate was on my right side and Ben was not too far down on my left next to Gran-Gran. Greg sat on the other side of Cate. There I was, in the middle of a row of chairs at church in the middle of the family God created.

Our college friend Amber had been sitting in our row too, but by this moment she had already gone to take of the nursery kids. Behind me sat a couple who has loved my family so well and taught me about how the Bible applies to real life; my best friend and her family with whom so much of my life is intertwined; and other dear friends who have been part of my everyday life the past six years in a way that has changed me for the better. This is community.

Tears welled in my eyes because God did this for me. He gave me these people and orchestrated a story of family that extends beyond my house. This journey has looked nothing like I planned when I stopped taking birth control in December 2004.

Cate’s adoption and then Ben’s adoption followed a hard season of infertility. {Here’s a summary.} And then there was a hard adoption season we didn’t expect. We waited for this third child, not knowing if she was going to come. We believed we were supposed to have a third child but we had met so many closed doors I doubted I was hearing God right.

I heard other people’s stories of heartache as they waited to conceive or adopt. I have waited and was waiting, but I wondered if I was being greedy. I regularly wondered: Was it wrong to desire a third child whom I believed God said he would give when I knew so many other women waiting to become a mom for the first time?

I wrestled with it. But I’ve settled on this: God knows what he’s doing and it’s not my job to control the outcome. {Tweet that.} He gave us our third child, in surprise fashion but in accordance with his faithfulness. And that same God is working in my friends’ lives as they wait and learn and trust and believe.

Love had a plan for us and God has one for you too. {Tweet that.}

All of that got us here. Oh how he loves us. He loved us during the hard days and loves us still when we see some of the plan. Rachel is perfect in our family. She belongs here, just like I belong smack dab in the middle of my people.
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In that picture above, our shirts say "Love had a plan for me," which is a line from my favorite Slugs & Bugs' song. Randall Goodgame recently brought Slugs & Bugs back to the Murray area. Hope That Binds hosted the concert as a fundraiser and, y'all, what a joy to have two of my favorite ministries together in one place celebrating families, adoption and the gospel. {You can see all my pictures from the event here.}

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

One month with Rachel

Hello, one month.

Rachel fits so well in our family that it seems like we’ve known her longer than one month. She was officially one month on Monday, but I wanted to wait until I had her current weight and height to share this update. She’s 8 pounds 9 ounces and 21 1/4 inches – that’s up 13 ounces since her two-week check up. Way to grow, baby girl!

We’ve had a love-hate relationship with the pacifier. She loved; we hated it. Well, okay, we didn’t hate the pacifier itself, but we hated how she cried when it fell out just as she fell asleep. Daytime was fine, but evenings were frustrating. So we just stopped during her third week and Rachel seems to have forgiven us for putting them away.

She’s been waking up twice in what I consider the middle of the night, like midnight or 1 a.m. and then again three or so hours later, although last night I fed her at 12:20 a.m. and then Greg fed her at almost five, so the stretches are getting longer! And I’m so grateful my husband shares nighttime feedings. We all like to sleep around here.

Of course, we like to eat too. We’ve eaten well because our friends are still bringing us food. Seriously, multiple times a week someone we love shows up with food. Such a blessing. I’ve been to the grocery a few times for basics and stuff for the kids’ lunches at school, but I’m so thankful most nights I don’t have to worry about what’s for dinner.

Oh and Rachel likes to eat too. She eats fast, although she’s gotten the hang of it and slowed down some. Typically, she takes 3 to 4 ounces every three hours, although she likes to cluster feedings closer together in the evening, which works well for the sleeping scenario. Really the only time she fusses is if she is ready for her bottle and we aren't fast enough or if she needs to burp.

Rachel likes being swaddled with her arms out and being carried in the wrap. She also likes to sleep on her side and I’m thinking she will like sleeping on her belly even more. She sleeps in her crib at night but doesn’t take many naps in there yet!

Cate and Ben still adore her. They don’t like her to cry and like to feed her. Cate likes to help change her clothes and is close to changing some diapers.
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Small Not Insignificant {a #ThreeWordWednesday guest post}

One of my favorite things about blogging is the people I've met along the way. And when I say "met," sometimes I really mean connected with online. That's the story with Jennifer Jackson Linck. She and I originally connected because a mutual writer friend of ours was sharing about her new book that was coming out. Her book is called "Bringing Home the Missing Linck" and it tells her adoption story and the faith journey that happened in her life. We connected and now we're friends too. And we're eagerly awaiting the day to hang out in real life. 

Until then, Jennifer is here on the blog today telling another part of her family's story. This part involves her writing a book, but it's a children's book that she wrote in honor of her son. "Jackson Finds His Voice" is available on Amazon, but, first, welcome Jennifer as she shares here today.

I was driving home from Jackson’s speech therapy appointment when the idea hit me. There was no burning bush or talking donkey, but I knew it was God prompting.

I had always wanted to write a children’s book but I hadn’t thought about that dream in a long time; until that day in the car when I heard Him whisper: Write a book about a little boy on a journey to find his voice.

My 4-year-old son, Jackson, has a speech disorder called Apraxia. He knows what he wants to say, but simply can’t. His brain has a hard time getting the proper message to his mouth, lips, tongue and jaw. The words he wants to say literally get stuck in his brain. He’s been in intense speech therapy since he was 18 months old.

I knew without a doubt I was hearing God correctly. I went inside, put Jackson down for a nap, and wrote the entire first draft of “Jackson Finds His Voice” within an hour.

I wrote the book for Jackson. It’s a tool he can use to share his story as he works towards finding his voice.

I wrote the book for other children with Childhood Apraxia of Speech. I pray it will give them a voice.

I wrote the book to educate others and raise awareness for the speech disorder that’s still foreign to many people.

I felt sure I would have the support of the national Apraxia association, that its leaders would spread the word about my book and help get it into the hands of other families who are on the same journey as we are. So imagine my shock when the executive director informed me that they wouldn’t support my book because its theme was too Christian.

I write about Jackson and the many other kids with Apraxia being fearfully and wonderfully made. I believe to my bones that God has a plan for each of them.

Hearing her dash my dreams left me questioning God.

Did I hear you right, Lord?

How are other families going to know this book is available?

Emily Freeman said it best in her book “Simply Tuesday” ::

“I felt the longing to build something important, and the disappointment that comes when the outcome looks different than I thought.”

Since receiving those harsh words from the director, God has been doing a work in my heart.
He’s reminding me that His ways are not my ways; they are better. He’s teaching me that small does not mean insignificant. {Tweet that.}

“Jesus himself arrived small on earth, but he was not insufficient or lacking in significance. We don’t have to worry that embracing smallness will shrink our impact.”

{Emily Freeman in “Simply Tuesday”}

God continually asks me to pen words and pray they make a difference in one life! And as I’ve released my dream and grabbed hold of His, He’s been faithful to reveal the impact a few words can have.
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Jennifer Jackson Linck blogs about everyday life at Bringing Home the Missing Linck. She lives in Oklahoma with her husband and son. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{around here}

This week sort of kicked my butt, so, honestly, I'm glad it's Friday. My calendar was busier than it needed be, but there wasn't really anything I could leave off. I had to tell good friends I couldn't hang out a couple times because I didn't have the mental capacity to do anything else. There was a rough night of sleep (or, lack of sleep, rather ...) followed by an excellent night that gave me fresh perspective and helped me feel like a new person.

Ah, real life with a newborn.

Rachel is doing well. She's the perfect addition to our family. She's going to be one month (!) next week, but for now I want to capture some of what's been going on around here ...

WATCHING :: I'm addicted to "Graceland." No, it's not about Elvis. It's about some undercover federal agents (FBI, immigration, DEA ...) who live and work together. I've been watching it in the mornings and afternoons when I'm at home feeding my baby. And I'm going to need season three to be added to Netflix soon, although I think it's airing in real life on USA, because I finished what's on Netflix this morning.

My DVR has also been recording "Quantico," "The Good Wife," "The Blacklist," "Madam Secretary," "Blue Bloods," and "The Wahlburgers." Clearly I have a show type, mostly. And I like Donnie Wahlberg.

READING :: I recently finished "Double Cross" by DiAnn Mills and started "My Southern Journey: True Stories from the Heart of the South" by Rick Bragg. I'm also in the middle of "A Beautiful Exchange" by Megan Nilsen. But, um, I just told you about my current TV addiction, so, well, that's taken away from my time with books.

EATING :: Y'all I have cooked very little since Rachel has been born. But we've eaten well, thanks to our friends who have been bringing us meals. Such a blessing!

EXPLORING :: I went with Ben's class to a field trip to The Homeplace at Land Between the Lakes. It was a perfectly beautiful day and a fun outing. I wore Rachel in a wrap and she slept though most of the morning.

REMEMBERING :: Newborn days (and nights!) can be exhausting but they're sweet. And I know this season won't last for long. I read an excellent post this week about how even when we reach our Promised Land, there can be hard days. And that's okay, especially when we cling to God. While the article is about the author's experience with a move, her words resonated with some of my adoption experiences throughout the years.

STUDYING :: I missed my every-other-week Bible study meeting this week because I just couldn't have another place to be, but I'm working through the Precept study on Covenants. It's been good.

FORGETTING :: I had a training session in Mayfield (about 30 minutes away) for a new continuous glucose monitor that goes with my new insulin pump. But I got there and realized I forgot one of the key components at home. So I did part of the training that day and then went back two days later.

PLANNING :: I somehow decided I needed to make Christmas plans. That was overwhelming for a tired momma who spent way too much time overthinking things, but I think I have a plan.

CREATING :: Scrapbook pages on the Project Life app. I'm printing some 12x12 for the scrapbooks and some 8x8 for Rachel's baby book. I have some paper stuff in progress on my craft table, but making pages from the palm of my hand is much more convenient right now.

So, what have you been up to?
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Faith, Works & Love

“The Bible constantly elevated love over knowledge, mercy over sacrifice. Knowledge is a tricky bedfellow, because it can sometimes shield us from the gospel. Doctrine is tidier terrain than flesh and blood. … Could the highest level of ‘right theology’ involve loving God and people like Jesus suggested?”

{Jen Hatmaker in “For The Love”}

We can give our money and time to so many causes. Those refugees in Syria need help. There are orphans all over the world. Children need sponsored and adopted and fostered and mentored. Wells need to be funded and built. Third-world villages need medical care and access to education. Single moms could benefit from sustainable solutions to their problems. Our neighbors need to be invited in so they can meet Jesus.

We spend so much time acquiring knowledge, waiting for circumstances to be perfectly tidy before we actually do something with what we know. Learning is important. Understanding God’s ways is paramount. But sitting around becoming smarter isn’t worth much if we aren’t out there loving and serving. {Tweet that.}

James reminds us faith without works is dead. Those works don't save us, but they may save someone else. Those works don't determine our identity in God's kingdom, but they can grow God's kingdom.

I can do good work in Jesus' name, but I can't do all the good work. And neither can you.

Facebook is full of good causes. Our friends all promote whatever it is that moves their souls. Hunger. Homelessness. Orphan care. Adoption. Medical aid. Sustainable business opportunities. Life skills. Short-term missions. Long-term missions.

Every single one of those things and so many other causes are important. And we should tell people about them. But they aren't all going to be my things. And my things aren't necessarily going to be yours things.

But when I do my things and you do your things, when we come together with each other, when we open our doors and give our resources, then our small things add up to big things. We make ripples and bring light. We do good works not to save us but to let them see God wants to save them. {Tweet that.}

And we’re going to learn more about God and ourselves in the process, anyway.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I'm linking up with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Rejoice, mourn, show up for #ThreeWordWednesday

Adoption creates a community like no other. I’ve talked before about how my relationships with birth moms are unlike any other relationships I’ve experienced – and more specifically what that looked like this time. And then, hopefully, there is the larger community that comes alongside and embraces the process.

Since Rachel was born Sept. 19, people have showed up at our house, on Facebook, at the bus stop, and in the mail box with kind words, gifts and meals. They’ve wanted to hold Rachel and hear more of our story – how we are doing, how the hospital stay was, what Rachel is like, how Cate and Ben are adjusting.

They have embraced us as a family of five and the process of adoption. They have offered prayers for Rachel’s birth mom, understanding our celebration is just one side of the story.

I’m reminded about when my father-in-law Gary unexpectedly died in April 2010 and our people took care of us. Yes, we were surprised by his death, but we were also pleasantly surprised by how people held us together. Talk about bittersweet.

Greg and I have always believed in doing life with our friends, but those days leading up to the funeral and the ones after, people showed up with their words, meals, help and love.

Birth and death really do rally a community and remind me of Romans 12:15 :: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

And now, as I sit here with a newborn baby, I’m reminded about how we shouldn’t limit our showing up to birth and death. {Tweet that.} We should show up on the hard days that don’t make sense, the confusing ones that we can’t solve, the happy ones that leave our belly hurting from all the laughter – and all of the days between.
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Speaking of adoption and community, I’ve started an adoption community online. It’s a private Facebook group, where those of us who have adopted or are in the process of doing so gather together to share resources, prayer requests, and adoption happenings.

I’ve long prayed God would use our story to encourage other families and it’s exciting to see that happening. If you or someone you know could benefit from such an adoption group, let me know and I’ll be happy to send an invite to you.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I'm linking up with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Vendetta {a book review}

I started reading “Vendetta” by Lisa Harris in a waiting room and then sat down on the couch in the middle of an ordinary September afternoon because I wanted to read more. I was reminded how a good fiction book is like a mini vacation. The story begins with action as continues on with a good pace from there.

A member of the Tennessee Mission Persons Task Force, Nikki Boyd is pulled between a family crisis, the grief of a long-time friend, and a case that has her attention. The characters are developed well and their stories reminded me how scars and experiences propel us and haunt us – sometimes in the same moment.

Yes, “Vendetta,” which officially releases today, is a fiction book, but it contains truth that matters beyond the pages.

“... sometimes there truly is nothing you can do to change your circumstances. Sometimes all you can do is hold on for dear life and pray that God will help you find a way through the storm. Sometimes he shows you a way to escape, and sometimes he walks through the fire with you. But I'm starting to realize that as much as I've battled with God, nothing that happens here on this earth changes who God is.”

“Vendetta” is the first in Harris’ new series The Nikki Boyd Files. And, of course, it ended in a way that resolved the case but has me ready for more of Nikki Boyd’s story.
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ABOUT THE BOOK :: From the back cover: No one needs to push Nikki Boyd to excel on the Tennessee Missing Persons Task Force. The case of her own missing sister, still unsolved after 10 years, is the driving force in her work. When a Polaroid photo of a missing girl shows up at a crime scene, Nikki quickly recognizes similarities to the past. The closer she gets to the abductor, the more she feels this case has become personal, and she is not the hunter but the hunted.

Paperback. 304 pages. Published Oct. 6, 2016 by Revell.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Lisa Harris is a Christy Award winner and the winner of the Best Inspirational Suspense Novel for 2011 from Romantic Times. The author of nearly 30 books, including “Dangerous Passage,” “Fatal Exchange,” and “Hidden Agenda,” Harris and her family have spent 12 years living as missionaries in southern Africa. They currently live in Mozambique, where Lisa leads a women's ministry and runs a nonprofit organization that works alongside their church-planting ministry. Learn more at her website or follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
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Earlier this year, I interviewed Lisa Harris as I was reviewing "Hidden Agenda," the third book in her Southern Crimes series. Check out that post here.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."