Love had a plan for us

“When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

and how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,

oh, how He loves us,

how He loves us all.”

{Listen here}

We were singing that song in church and I was holding my sleeping Rachel. Cate was on my right side and Ben was not too far down on my left next to Gran-Gran. Greg sat on the other side of Cate. There I was, in the middle of a row of chairs at church in the middle of the family God created.

Our college friend Amber had been sitting in our row too, but by this moment she had already gone to take of the nursery kids. Behind me sat a couple who has loved my family so well and taught me about how the Bible applies to real life; my best friend and her family with whom so much of my life is intertwined; and other dear friends who have been part of my everyday life the past six years in a way that has changed me for the better. This is community.

Tears welled in my eyes because God did this for me. He gave me these people and orchestrated a story of family that extends beyond my house. This journey has looked nothing like I planned when I stopped taking birth control in December 2004.

Cate’s adoption and then Ben’s adoption followed a hard season of infertility. {Here’s a summary.} And then there was a hard adoption season we didn’t expect. We waited for this third child, not knowing if she was going to come. We believed we were supposed to have a third child but we had met so many closed doors I doubted I was hearing God right.

I heard other people’s stories of heartache as they waited to conceive or adopt. I have waited and was waiting, but I wondered if I was being greedy. I regularly wondered: Was it wrong to desire a third child whom I believed God said he would give when I knew so many other women waiting to become a mom for the first time?

I wrestled with it. But I’ve settled on this: God knows what he’s doing and it’s not my job to control the outcome. {Tweet that.} He gave us our third child, in surprise fashion but in accordance with his faithfulness. And that same God is working in my friends’ lives as they wait and learn and trust and believe.

Love had a plan for us and God has one for you too. {Tweet that.}

All of that got us here. Oh how he loves us. He loved us during the hard days and loves us still when we see some of the plan. Rachel is perfect in our family. She belongs here, just like I belong smack dab in the middle of my people.
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In that picture above, our shirts say "Love had a plan for me," which is a line from my favorite Slugs & Bugs' song. Randall Goodgame recently brought Slugs & Bugs back to the Murray area. Hope That Binds hosted the concert as a fundraiser and, y'all, what a joy to have two of my favorite ministries together in one place celebrating families, adoption and the gospel. {You can see all my pictures from the event here.}

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

One month with Rachel

Hello, one month.

Rachel fits so well in our family that it seems like we’ve known her longer than one month. She was officially one month on Monday, but I wanted to wait until I had her current weight and height to share this update. She’s 8 pounds 9 ounces and 21 1/4 inches – that’s up 13 ounces since her two-week check up. Way to grow, baby girl!

We’ve had a love-hate relationship with the pacifier. She loved; we hated it. Well, okay, we didn’t hate the pacifier itself, but we hated how she cried when it fell out just as she fell asleep. Daytime was fine, but evenings were frustrating. So we just stopped during her third week and Rachel seems to have forgiven us for putting them away.

She’s been waking up twice in what I consider the middle of the night, like midnight or 1 a.m. and then again three or so hours later, although last night I fed her at 12:20 a.m. and then Greg fed her at almost five, so the stretches are getting longer! And I’m so grateful my husband shares nighttime feedings. We all like to sleep around here.

Of course, we like to eat too. We’ve eaten well because our friends are still bringing us food. Seriously, multiple times a week someone we love shows up with food. Such a blessing. I’ve been to the grocery a few times for basics and stuff for the kids’ lunches at school, but I’m so thankful most nights I don’t have to worry about what’s for dinner.

Oh and Rachel likes to eat too. She eats fast, although she’s gotten the hang of it and slowed down some. Typically, she takes 3 to 4 ounces every three hours, although she likes to cluster feedings closer together in the evening, which works well for the sleeping scenario. Really the only time she fusses is if she is ready for her bottle and we aren't fast enough or if she needs to burp.

Rachel likes being swaddled with her arms out and being carried in the wrap. She also likes to sleep on her side and I’m thinking she will like sleeping on her belly even more. She sleeps in her crib at night but doesn’t take many naps in there yet!

Cate and Ben still adore her. They don’t like her to cry and like to feed her. Cate likes to help change her clothes and is close to changing some diapers.
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Small Not Insignificant {a #ThreeWordWednesday guest post}

One of my favorite things about blogging is the people I've met along the way. And when I say "met," sometimes I really mean connected with online. That's the story with Jennifer Jackson Linck. She and I originally connected because a mutual writer friend of ours was sharing about her new book that was coming out. Her book is called "Bringing Home the Missing Linck" and it tells her adoption story and the faith journey that happened in her life. We connected and now we're friends too. And we're eagerly awaiting the day to hang out in real life. 

Until then, Jennifer is here on the blog today telling another part of her family's story. This part involves her writing a book, but it's a children's book that she wrote in honor of her son. "Jackson Finds His Voice" is available on Amazon, but, first, welcome Jennifer as she shares here today.

I was driving home from Jackson’s speech therapy appointment when the idea hit me. There was no burning bush or talking donkey, but I knew it was God prompting.

I had always wanted to write a children’s book but I hadn’t thought about that dream in a long time; until that day in the car when I heard Him whisper: Write a book about a little boy on a journey to find his voice.

My 4-year-old son, Jackson, has a speech disorder called Apraxia. He knows what he wants to say, but simply can’t. His brain has a hard time getting the proper message to his mouth, lips, tongue and jaw. The words he wants to say literally get stuck in his brain. He’s been in intense speech therapy since he was 18 months old.

I knew without a doubt I was hearing God correctly. I went inside, put Jackson down for a nap, and wrote the entire first draft of “Jackson Finds His Voice” within an hour.

I wrote the book for Jackson. It’s a tool he can use to share his story as he works towards finding his voice.

I wrote the book for other children with Childhood Apraxia of Speech. I pray it will give them a voice.

I wrote the book to educate others and raise awareness for the speech disorder that’s still foreign to many people.

I felt sure I would have the support of the national Apraxia association, that its leaders would spread the word about my book and help get it into the hands of other families who are on the same journey as we are. So imagine my shock when the executive director informed me that they wouldn’t support my book because its theme was too Christian.

I write about Jackson and the many other kids with Apraxia being fearfully and wonderfully made. I believe to my bones that God has a plan for each of them.

Hearing her dash my dreams left me questioning God.

Did I hear you right, Lord?

How are other families going to know this book is available?

Emily Freeman said it best in her book “Simply Tuesday” ::

“I felt the longing to build something important, and the disappointment that comes when the outcome looks different than I thought.”

Since receiving those harsh words from the director, God has been doing a work in my heart.
He’s reminding me that His ways are not my ways; they are better. He’s teaching me that small does not mean insignificant. {Tweet that.}

“Jesus himself arrived small on earth, but he was not insufficient or lacking in significance. We don’t have to worry that embracing smallness will shrink our impact.”

{Emily Freeman in “Simply Tuesday”}

God continually asks me to pen words and pray they make a difference in one life! And as I’ve released my dream and grabbed hold of His, He’s been faithful to reveal the impact a few words can have.
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Jennifer Jackson Linck blogs about everyday life at Bringing Home the Missing Linck. She lives in Oklahoma with her husband and son. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{around here}

This week sort of kicked my butt, so, honestly, I'm glad it's Friday. My calendar was busier than it needed be, but there wasn't really anything I could leave off. I had to tell good friends I couldn't hang out a couple times because I didn't have the mental capacity to do anything else. There was a rough night of sleep (or, lack of sleep, rather ...) followed by an excellent night that gave me fresh perspective and helped me feel like a new person.

Ah, real life with a newborn.

Rachel is doing well. She's the perfect addition to our family. She's going to be one month (!) next week, but for now I want to capture some of what's been going on around here ...

WATCHING :: I'm addicted to "Graceland." No, it's not about Elvis. It's about some undercover federal agents (FBI, immigration, DEA ...) who live and work together. I've been watching it in the mornings and afternoons when I'm at home feeding my baby. And I'm going to need season three to be added to Netflix soon, although I think it's airing in real life on USA, because I finished what's on Netflix this morning.

My DVR has also been recording "Quantico," "The Good Wife," "The Blacklist," "Madam Secretary," "Blue Bloods," and "The Wahlburgers." Clearly I have a show type, mostly. And I like Donnie Wahlberg.

READING :: I recently finished "Double Cross" by DiAnn Mills and started "My Southern Journey: True Stories from the Heart of the South" by Rick Bragg. I'm also in the middle of "A Beautiful Exchange" by Megan Nilsen. But, um, I just told you about my current TV addiction, so, well, that's taken away from my time with books.

EATING :: Y'all I have cooked very little since Rachel has been born. But we've eaten well, thanks to our friends who have been bringing us meals. Such a blessing!

EXPLORING :: I went with Ben's class to a field trip to The Homeplace at Land Between the Lakes. It was a perfectly beautiful day and a fun outing. I wore Rachel in a wrap and she slept though most of the morning.

REMEMBERING :: Newborn days (and nights!) can be exhausting but they're sweet. And I know this season won't last for long. I read an excellent post this week about how even when we reach our Promised Land, there can be hard days. And that's okay, especially when we cling to God. While the article is about the author's experience with a move, her words resonated with some of my adoption experiences throughout the years.

STUDYING :: I missed my every-other-week Bible study meeting this week because I just couldn't have another place to be, but I'm working through the Precept study on Covenants. It's been good.

FORGETTING :: I had a training session in Mayfield (about 30 minutes away) for a new continuous glucose monitor that goes with my new insulin pump. But I got there and realized I forgot one of the key components at home. So I did part of the training that day and then went back two days later.

PLANNING :: I somehow decided I needed to make Christmas plans. That was overwhelming for a tired momma who spent way too much time overthinking things, but I think I have a plan.

CREATING :: Scrapbook pages on the Project Life app. I'm printing some 12x12 for the scrapbooks and some 8x8 for Rachel's baby book. I have some paper stuff in progress on my craft table, but making pages from the palm of my hand is much more convenient right now.

So, what have you been up to?
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Faith, Works & Love

“The Bible constantly elevated love over knowledge, mercy over sacrifice. Knowledge is a tricky bedfellow, because it can sometimes shield us from the gospel. Doctrine is tidier terrain than flesh and blood. … Could the highest level of ‘right theology’ involve loving God and people like Jesus suggested?”

{Jen Hatmaker in “For The Love”}

We can give our money and time to so many causes. Those refugees in Syria need help. There are orphans all over the world. Children need sponsored and adopted and fostered and mentored. Wells need to be funded and built. Third-world villages need medical care and access to education. Single moms could benefit from sustainable solutions to their problems. Our neighbors need to be invited in so they can meet Jesus.

We spend so much time acquiring knowledge, waiting for circumstances to be perfectly tidy before we actually do something with what we know. Learning is important. Understanding God’s ways is paramount. But sitting around becoming smarter isn’t worth much if we aren’t out there loving and serving. {Tweet that.}

James reminds us faith without works is dead. Those works don't save us, but they may save someone else. Those works don't determine our identity in God's kingdom, but they can grow God's kingdom.

I can do good work in Jesus' name, but I can't do all the good work. And neither can you.

Facebook is full of good causes. Our friends all promote whatever it is that moves their souls. Hunger. Homelessness. Orphan care. Adoption. Medical aid. Sustainable business opportunities. Life skills. Short-term missions. Long-term missions.

Every single one of those things and so many other causes are important. And we should tell people about them. But they aren't all going to be my things. And my things aren't necessarily going to be yours things.

But when I do my things and you do your things, when we come together with each other, when we open our doors and give our resources, then our small things add up to big things. We make ripples and bring light. We do good works not to save us but to let them see God wants to save them. {Tweet that.}

And we’re going to learn more about God and ourselves in the process, anyway.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I'm linking up with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Rejoice, mourn, show up for #ThreeWordWednesday

Adoption creates a community like no other. I’ve talked before about how my relationships with birth moms are unlike any other relationships I’ve experienced – and more specifically what that looked like this time. And then, hopefully, there is the larger community that comes alongside and embraces the process.

Since Rachel was born Sept. 19, people have showed up at our house, on Facebook, at the bus stop, and in the mail box with kind words, gifts and meals. They’ve wanted to hold Rachel and hear more of our story – how we are doing, how the hospital stay was, what Rachel is like, how Cate and Ben are adjusting.

They have embraced us as a family of five and the process of adoption. They have offered prayers for Rachel’s birth mom, understanding our celebration is just one side of the story.

I’m reminded about when my father-in-law Gary unexpectedly died in April 2010 and our people took care of us. Yes, we were surprised by his death, but we were also pleasantly surprised by how people held us together. Talk about bittersweet.

Greg and I have always believed in doing life with our friends, but those days leading up to the funeral and the ones after, people showed up with their words, meals, help and love.

Birth and death really do rally a community and remind me of Romans 12:15 :: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

And now, as I sit here with a newborn baby, I’m reminded about how we shouldn’t limit our showing up to birth and death. {Tweet that.} We should show up on the hard days that don’t make sense, the confusing ones that we can’t solve, the happy ones that leave our belly hurting from all the laughter – and all of the days between.
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Speaking of adoption and community, I’ve started an adoption community online. It’s a private Facebook group, where those of us who have adopted or are in the process of doing so gather together to share resources, prayer requests, and adoption happenings.

I’ve long prayed God would use our story to encourage other families and it’s exciting to see that happening. If you or someone you know could benefit from such an adoption group, let me know and I’ll be happy to send an invite to you.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I'm linking up with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Vendetta {a book review}

I started reading “Vendetta” by Lisa Harris in a waiting room and then sat down on the couch in the middle of an ordinary September afternoon because I wanted to read more. I was reminded how a good fiction book is like a mini vacation. The story begins with action as continues on with a good pace from there.

A member of the Tennessee Mission Persons Task Force, Nikki Boyd is pulled between a family crisis, the grief of a long-time friend, and a case that has her attention. The characters are developed well and their stories reminded me how scars and experiences propel us and haunt us – sometimes in the same moment.

Yes, “Vendetta,” which officially releases today, is a fiction book, but it contains truth that matters beyond the pages.

“... sometimes there truly is nothing you can do to change your circumstances. Sometimes all you can do is hold on for dear life and pray that God will help you find a way through the storm. Sometimes he shows you a way to escape, and sometimes he walks through the fire with you. But I'm starting to realize that as much as I've battled with God, nothing that happens here on this earth changes who God is.”

“Vendetta” is the first in Harris’ new series The Nikki Boyd Files. And, of course, it ended in a way that resolved the case but has me ready for more of Nikki Boyd’s story.
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ABOUT THE BOOK :: From the back cover: No one needs to push Nikki Boyd to excel on the Tennessee Missing Persons Task Force. The case of her own missing sister, still unsolved after 10 years, is the driving force in her work. When a Polaroid photo of a missing girl shows up at a crime scene, Nikki quickly recognizes similarities to the past. The closer she gets to the abductor, the more she feels this case has become personal, and she is not the hunter but the hunted.

Paperback. 304 pages. Published Oct. 6, 2016 by Revell.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Lisa Harris is a Christy Award winner and the winner of the Best Inspirational Suspense Novel for 2011 from Romantic Times. The author of nearly 30 books, including “Dangerous Passage,” “Fatal Exchange,” and “Hidden Agenda,” Harris and her family have spent 12 years living as missionaries in southern Africa. They currently live in Mozambique, where Lisa leads a women's ministry and runs a nonprofit organization that works alongside their church-planting ministry. Learn more at her website or follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
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Earlier this year, I interviewed Lisa Harris as I was reviewing "Hidden Agenda," the third book in her Southern Crimes series. Check out that post here.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Mom of Three {an adoption post for #ThreeWordWednesday}

I used to think I wanted my kids close in age, but I realized a long time ago I’m in control of the timing and growth of our family. In fact, I had to lay down my desire to adopt a third time because I wasn’t sure it was going to happen and I struggled to separate what I wanted from what God was calling us to do.

{I talk about learning about waiting on God and laying down that desire in my ebook, “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” which is available on Amazon and needs to be updated now that God grew our family again. But through Friday, Oct. 2, "Peace in the Process" is on sale for 99 cents, if you want the full back story of how we got here and what God taught me along the way. And feel free to tweet about the deal.}

But guess what? God’s timing has been perfect ... of course!

I have an 8-year-old girl who is in third grade and a kindergartner boy who turns 6 in less than two months. And, let me tell you, they adore their baby sister. They literally have argued over who is going to hold her or sit next to her in the van. (We currently have a week-to-week rotation of who is in the middle of the minivan next to Rachel and who has to settle for the back seat.)

Cate is a feeding champion – and I’m working on convincing her that she would excel at changing diapers too. Ben likes to be near her and has found his way downstairs into her room a few times in the middle of the night when he hears her crying for her next bottle. This boy was meant to be a middle child. With the initials BLT, he’s perfectly sandwiched between two girls.

For this momma of three, having two in school and a baby at home is a whole different world than last time I had a baby – and a toddler who was 2 1/2. Sure, Rachel and I have had some slow days at home settling in together, but our lives have continued with Greg working and the big kids playing soccer. Beyond logistics, God has me prepared to be a mom again. My perspective is different and I’m more confident. I bring more than eight years of motherhood experiences with me. I know more about what matters and what doesn’t.

Before Rachel was born, I was ready – not ready like my house was perfect and my life completely under control, but ready like my heart knew what God had done. I was in place I could truly rejoice in his faithfulness.

The hardest part (so far) of being a mom of three is the waking up in the middle of the night. Y’all, we’ve been sleeping (mostly) through the night for many years. But knowing God prepared us and designed this for us in his time makes me appreciate the middle-of-the-night snuggles with my girl more than I did with the other two as newborns.

(Don’t let me totally fool you though, I will rejoice when she sleeps through the night too.)

I’m grateful to be a mom of three for many reasons, but I’m especially because I believe this is what God planned for me. {Tweet that.} Yes, I had doubts this third time would happen, and I was going to be okay with that because my life already overflowed with blessings. But I’m grateful I indeed heard God right years ago about the third child, even if my timing was totally out of sync with God’s.
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I shared other parts of Rachel's adoption story here ...

We're adopting again!

Generosity in adoption

Team Taylor welcomes Rachel!

Opening up about open adoption

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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Six Things I Learned in September

If you follow me at all on social media or we hang out in real life, then you probably know Team Taylor became five this month. How's it going you may want to ask? The simple answer: It's going well. Rachel fits in our family. God continues to show us how he makes beauty from ashes through adoption.

But, obviously, I'm not usually one for short answers. I've told some stories already about Rachel, her birth, her adoption, and our family, and I will tell more. Fun note: Today was her due date, but we've gotten to have her nine days already!

For now, let's wrap up some randomness from September before yet another 2015 month escapes me. And, yes, beginning with the baby-related items ...

1. People really like baby pictures and stories. 

Okay, well, maybe this isn't news. But as soon I started posting picture of newborn Rachel and sharing more about our adoption story on Facebook, people started giving my posts thumbs up.

If you didn't know we're adopting a baby girl who was born Sept. 19, catch up here:

We're adopting again!

Generosity in adoption

Team Taylor welcomes Rachel!

Opening up about open adoption

2. Hallmark had a fabulous baby book with adoption option pages.

Cate and Ben have baby books in binders that include pages from a regular baby book and additional pages I printed and made to tell their adoption story. They're like scrapbooks meet baby books. Rachel's is going to be more of the same but with a different starting point because Hallmark has a great baby book with optional pages and room for other homemade ones to be added.

{That's not even an affiliate link. I really just like this baby book.}

3. I can have bulk groceries delivered to my front porch.

Okay, I know about {and love to use!} Amazon's Prime Pantry, which has some groceries, and ePantry, which sells household products, but Boxed is new to me. It's like a mail-order version of Costco. And there's an app.

My first order included Gatorade, Mandarin oranges in snack-sized cups, paper plates, allergy medicine and contact solution. But next time it's going to include fruit snacks, chips, noodles, and all sorts of other things I'm currently stocked up on.

Did I mention a bulk purchase of paper plates?! Exactly 170 paper places, to be precise. Hello, perfect timing, as I cuddle my newborn.

You can join in the fun! Use 28SI6 at check out and you'll save $15 on your first order PLUS GET FREE SHIPPING. Now, there's always free shipping for orders totaling at least $75.

4. Making my son's bunk beds into a tent earned me cool mom points and helped him sleep later!

Ben is the epitome of a morning person. He wakes up ready to go and isn't usually quiet about that. A few weeks ago, we were in the process of taking some down curtains and putting up blinds instead. Like many household projects, it took longer than expected because the lady at the store told us to get the wrong width of blinds based on my window measurements.

During the week, it didn't matter if his window wasn't covered because he has to get up for school. But one Saturday I was hoping to sleep in. And by "sleep in," I mean I hoped not to wake up until the 7 o'clock hour.

So I darkened his bunk beds with a tent. And it worked.

Now that his blinds are up, the tent is still up. Because, hello, I'm a cool mom who still wants to sleep in.

5. Losing teeth is a weird process.

Well, okay, really, I don't deal with the actual losing of teeth. Cate lost her 10th tooth this month. After losing nine teeth is in 16 months {starting the month after she turned 5}, she hadn't lost one in 23 months. Crazy.

{I'm not really a numbers person, but I like when numbers tell stories.}

Meanwhile, Ben is two months from turning 6 and doesn't have a loose tooth.

6. A Precept Upon Precept study is perfect for a girl who has always liked school supplies. 

Hello, colored pens! I joined a Bible study this month at a big church that's nearby. It's not where we regularly attend, but I have several friends there and have been wanting to do a study with them. We're doing "Covenant: Knowing God's Covenants" by Percept Ministries International.

We're just a couple lessons in, but so far so good!

Tell me about your September. Are y'all glad it's fall?
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I'm linking up with Emily Freeman for my favorite monthly recaps. Read other Things I Learned posts ::

{2013} June. July. August. September. October. November. 

{2014} January. February. March. April. May. June. 

July. August. September. October. November. December. 

{2015} January. February. March. April. May. June. July. August.

This post contains affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase through any of them, I'll receive a small portion of the sale. But I only recommend products I really do love and buying through my link doesn't change the price for you and sometimes, like the Boxed promo code, actually helps you.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Opening up about open adoption

Adoption always reminds me how God is in the details. Like our two other adoptions, I’ve seen it as we prepared for Rachel to be born since meeting birth mom Stacy in May. And I saw it on Sept. 19 – when our family became five. And not just because we wore matching shirts.

My favorite nurse from Ben’s birth in 2009 was there. She took my all-time favorite hospital photo then and almost six years later remembered our story. We chatted throughout the day. She celebrated adoption while being sensitive to the delicate balance of grief and joy.

Stacy is a private person so instead of being right by her bedside, we were just outside the labor and delivery room door. We could hear the last moments of delivery, when our girl entered the world. The birth dad stepped out to hug us and then we were invited in to meet Rachel. I touched her and photographed her while the pediatrician examined her and the nurse weighed her.

Then that favorite delivery nurse of mine handed me Rachel wrapped like a burrito. And I handed her my iPhone with the camera ready to go. She snapped pictures of Greg and I meeting Rachel. And then she kept snapping pictures as I handed Rachel to Stacy to hold and then as the four of us gathered around a baby girl we all loved.

We ended up spending about 90 minutes with Stacy after Rachel’s birth. We took turns holding her and chatted about our other kids – my two who became part of our family through other adoption processes in 2007 and 2009 and her two who aren’t yet 2 and 3 years old. These moments were open adoption at its finest.

I’ll also remember those moments – and they’re part of the story I’m excited to share with Rachel one day. I even have pictures to show her.

{Please notice Stacy’s hand on the left of the picture above. I have others with all four of us –  adoptive parents and birth parents side by side – and some of Stacy holding Rachel that are beautiful additions to the baby book and our family’s story.}

We visited with Stacy later that evening as she recovered in another room and then again the next day when we met with our attorney and social worker before we went our separate ways.

I know open adoption seems scary and awkward, but when it’s the situation God designed the ways of this world don’t apply. Having been involved in three adoption processes, I know each relationship and scenario looks different. Regardless, being able to know my children’s birth moms is a unique and valued part of their stories.

Likewise, each adoption is different. Adoption is born of heartache, and sometimes that means knowing birth parents isn’t possible. Other times, an open adoption isn’t desirable for perfectly understandable reasons. Open adoption is just what our family knows, but even then other families may have other degrees of openness. Adoption is never a one-size-fits-all experience.

Stacy and I may have gone to different homes Sunday afternoon, but our lives are forever intertwined. I’ll send pictures and there may be visits. I’m not entirely sure what our relationship will look like from here, but Stacy will forever be part of our family’s story.
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I'm linking up with the lovely Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

On Saying Yes {a guest post}

I've been asking my husband to write a post about our Guatemala trip. I know, you've heard my stories and perspective, but I wanted him to share too. And then when he did, I cried and wanted to go back. We're grateful for our Guatemala experience and how it's changed our family. And I'm excited you get a chance to hear more about that from Greg. 

How many of us actually like the idea of a God who calls us to submit our whole lives to Him? Isn’t that radical? Isn’t Him asking that of us crazy?

And how many of us Christians actually submit our will to His on a daily basis? I know I haven’t, not really, at least not on a daily basis.

Yet I do see examples in the lives of my friends and family – people submitted to the Lord and daily taking up their cross and following Him. These people are ministering to those around them, meeting physical and spiritual needs, and taking Jesus’s love into this dark and dying world even when it seems crazy to do so.

Last fall, I clearly felt the call of the Holy Spirit to look into this Guatemala mission trip with Bethel Ministries. I couldn’t escape the thought that God was calling us to this experience at this time. And despite so many failures in the past to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading, this time I said yes.

As Christians, we follow a God who loves to shake things up and turn our world upside down. He called Gideon while he was threshing wheat in hiding, He called Moses while shepherding in Midian, and He called Elisha while plowing in the field.

If you are serving a God who never humbles you, never disrupts your world, and never calls you to do things outside your comfort zone, you are probably serving your idea of God, not the Lord of the universe. When He calls you, don’t expect Him to ask for anything less than your whole heart.

The cool thing about how He works is He doesn’t ask us to use our willpower to change our hearts or give us a long list of things to do in order to get an “A” at being a Christian. He simply asks us to be obedient and submit to Him when He calls. He asks us to say yes when our selfish flesh would say no. And as we submit one choice at a time, He then changes our heart and transforms our mind, spirit and attitude. He is the one doing the work, all we have to do is say yes. {Tweet that.}

The powerful thing about what the Lord did through our team in Guatemala is that He took us and transformed us for His purposes that week. For the nine adults and four children who answered the call, we left our normal selfish selves in the USA and became a unified team with one purpose of serving the Guatemalan families we met.

So as our team got together to go to Guatemala, you may have looked at us from the outside and said that we looked like a bunch of imperfect people, not really suited to do real ministry. And you’d be right. But the truth is He had a specific plan for us to meet with families and children in Guatemala and bring glory to His name. The families we met with didn’t ask us about what sins we were struggling with or how many times we had let God down. They simply saw the love of God in the food that we brought, the wheelchairs we distributed, and the houses that we built.

And through that, God changed not only the families we served in Guatemala, but He changed us. My daughter, Cate, experienced poverty on a level that she had never seen before. Yet she also experienced the joy of the Lord in a new way, as she played with and smiled with those children who trusted God despite their circumstances.

She experienced what it was like to say yes to God, and the radical, crazy, amazing love of Jesus became a little more real to her that week. The day before we came home, she talked with Kristin and I about baptism and what that meant. We prayed with her and sensed that she felt God was calling her to submit to Him and that she wanted to say yes. I had the privilege of baptizing her at our home church with our family and friends a few weeks later. She felt the call of God, and said yes. And I am so thankful that she did.

Our trip to Guatemala reminded me in a new and fresh way that Jesus is the only source of contentment and joy. No matter what our circumstances, we can take joy in knowing Him, and remembering that this life is fleeting and eternity awaits. Nothing else matters when we are confronted by His relentless grace. {Tweet that.} I am so looking forward to what He has planned next.
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Read my other Guatemala-related posts here :: 

Mission to Guatemala

God said GO

Building a foundation & threading love

God makes us new

What, why, how?

What I learned in Guatemala 

With Faith Like a Child
Eyes on Guatemala

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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Finding joy even when life changes

Way back at the beginning of the year, many bloggers chose one word to be their focus for the year, like a resolution. Mine has been JOY.

It’s a tiny word, but it’s a mighty word. God has used it to teach me and encourage me this year. Who knew three letters strung together could change my perspective?

I love this quote about joy from Kay Warren:

“Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.”

Joy can change my perspective because joy is a choice. While circumstances change, the foundation of joy that only God can give doesn’t waiver, even when life's seasons change. {And speaking of changes ... our baby Rachel Elizabeth was born Saturday, Sept. 19! I'm excited to share more of her sweet adoption story soon. Stay tuned!}

I know this #choosingJOY idea isn't new to many my blog readers, but I'm excited to share more about it at Circles of Faith today. I'd love for you to join me there! 
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Team Taylor welcomes Rachel!

My husband and I were wearing matching Team Taylor T-shirts the day our daughter was born. And we didn’t even plan it.

Well, we planned to wear the Team Taylor shirts because we were going to be part of some Hazel Day festivities and they advertise Greg’s business. Our kids were even wearing theirs too. The shirts were actually left over from a 5K race Greg’s law practice helped sponsor a couple years ago.

And, yes, clearly I feel the need to continue to explain why we were matching when Rachel Elizabeth was born on Sept. 19. I explained to people at the hospital. And then I explained on social media.

At first I thought it was a dorky coincidence. But then I saw the beauty in the detail.

Team Taylor. 

We’re so grateful our family grew by one this past weekend. The actual adoption proceedings are underway, but our girl is in our house and already dearly loved.

After having an ultrasound and being monitored for a while Friday afternoon, birth mom Stacy and the doctor made a plan for her to be induced early Wednesday morning. Although she had been sick that morning with a stomach bug, Stacy was disappointed she was sent home Friday after talk of a possible induction because she was ready.

Apparently Rachel was ready too.

Stacy called me Saturday morning at 7:59 a.m. to tell me she was having regular contractions and needed to go to the hospital. Greg and I – along with Cate and Ben – had just pulled into his office driveway in Hazel, a little town just south of Murray. Our family – along with many other Taylors were going to be the grand marshals in the parade – and then we were going to host an activity at his new office.

Turns out, that’s what the other Taylors did.

We hung out at the hospital in matching shirts and greeted our daughter just after she was born at 1:09 p.m. She was 7 pounds 3 ounces and 19 inches.

This adoption is open like our other two, but each experience has been different. We’ve brought home three babies as newborn – two from our local hospital. But each time God shows me something new as he orchestrates these unique bonds between our family, our children, and their birth moms.

I’m going to share more about that, but I’m going to have to spread out these stories or you’re going to be here all day reading!

I stayed at the hospital Saturday night with Rachel and then she was discharged at 25 hours old. Although the kids had met her at the hospital, coming home and having my family of five under the same roof was exactly where I wanted to be – dorky matching shirts included.
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Just last week, I wrote about how Team Taylor isn't going to win any tennis titles. But, hey, we have matching shirts!

If you're new here, I change the birth moms' names when I share stories because some details are meant to be private. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Live Love Lead {a review}

I had “Live Love Lead” by Hillsong Church’s Brian Houston sitting near me recently and my husband commented that it didn’t look like the kind of book I’d usually read. It’s funny he said that, but I sort of thought the same thing when I signed up to get a copy but was intrigued anyway. Houston – who is the founder and senior pastor at Hillsong Church – uses stories from his own life and commentary on the Bible to encourage readers.

All of the chapters begin with lyrics from Hillsong’s music. Houston discusses topics such as leadership, grace, shame, freedom, forgiveness, identity, compassion, and community. Certain sections of the book were more relevant to my life than others, although I was especially encouraged to embrace where God has me – the people, the trials, the celebrations, the opportunities. My personality, gifts, and location are a unique combination that God will use.

“Faithfulness means holding on to your purpose and trusting in God’s goodness in the midst of all the peaks, celebrations, and mountaintops, as well as the trials, temptations, and tragedies that life throws at you. This is how you grow, grounded in grace.”

{Brian Houston in “Live Love Lead”}

Sometimes life is overwhelming. I’ve also thought of being overwhelmed as a negative place to be. But while reading “Live Love Lead,” I started to think about as a place that humbles us and drives us to Jesus. God does give us more than we can handle alone because he wants us to rely on him with grace as our foundation.

“The abundant life Jesus came to bring us frees us from the confines of culture, competition, and comparison. We can be generous, inclusive, and grace filled, enjoying the fulfillment of our purpose as we love others just as he loved us. When we live out of the free, unmerited favor of God, we discover his grace is all-encompassing and all-sufficient.”

{From “Live Love Lead”}

Sure, it wasn’t the kind of book I’d usually read – whatever that means, really – but I’m glad I picked up “Live Love Lead.” I read some sections more than once and skimmed over others. I thought some of the thoughts were redundant and the book could have been shorter than its 272-pages, but in there were plenty of gems of truth.
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ABOUT THE BOOK :: How do people experience the best life that God intends for them? The answer lies in understanding that the Christian life is an adventure, and that they only have to follow the greatest Guide who ever walked the path of life – Jesus. In this straightforward book, Brian Houston shows readers the way to live fully, love completely, and lead boldly – the hallmarks of Jesus' time on earth.

Hardback. 272 pages. Published on Sept. 15, 2015 by FaithWords.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Brian Houston is the founder and senior pastor of Hillsong Church. With global campuses around the world, including New York and Los Angeles, Hillsong has a combined weekly attendance of more than 90,000. Houston hosts one of the fastest-growing daily international broadcasts in the world. He is also executive director for Hillsong Music, one of the world’s largest producers of Christian music. He and his wife Bobbie have three grown children and live in Sydney, Australia and Orange County, California.
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FaithWords/Hachette Book Group gave me a free copy of “Live Love Lead” in exchange for a review, but these opinions are mine.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Essence of Joy {lessons from the tennis court}

We went to play tennis Sunday afternoon because the weather was perfect and Greg had been telling the kids we’d go. I was texting with Sarah afterwards and she said, “I didn’t know you played tennis.”

Well, I don’t, actually. I’m really pretty awful.

Greg does. He’s sports guy kind of guy.

The kids don’t really play either. Ben swings the racket like a baseball bat sometimes and a golf club other times. And Cate tries hard and understands the general idea.

We have rackets and bought some new balls after church, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say we play tennis. We laughed and joked around. We gathered all the balls that went in all the wrong directions. We enjoyed the sunshine and each other.

While attempting to get the neon ball back over the net in the right direction, I thought about all the times I didn’t participate in so many other activities throughout the years because I was worried I would do them well enough or someone may laugh at me.

Fear robbed my joy too many times. {Tweet that.}

I don’t like doing things I’m not good at or that have the potential to make me look foolish. It’s part of my Type A, perfectionist personality. But I’m learning – slowly, because I’m a tad stubborn too – to let go of those fears. Take Sunday: Nobody is judging how I play tennis. But I got to hang out with my family and do something they’re interested in doing.

Yes, I thought about taking a book I want to read and camp out beside the tennis courts. But I’m glad I stepped on the court with my favorite people instead.

Team Taylor isn’t going to win any tennis titles, but we had fun anyway. And that’s the essence of joy.
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It's been awhile since I've shared here, but I'm still keeping a #choosingJOY list of moments, people, places, and experiences that make me pause and notice everyday joy around me. Noting these joys has helped transform my perspective.

515. Surprise baby cake and gift from Greg's men's group. 516. Being at the lake for a hot Labor Day. 517. Drone group photo. ... 521. People asking if I will talk with them about adoption. Always, yes. ... 527. Grandparents Day at school – and Mom being willing to come down for it. 528. Friday evening at the lake with Greg’s office staff. 529. Perfect weather for soccer. 530. Baby shower given by church friends! 531. The diaper cake from Marley and Joann. ... 534. Sitting down to watch TV after a PACKED weekend. 535. Colored pens & Precept study.

I'd love for you to join me! Share on social media and use #choosingJOY. Instagram is my favorite place to share.
_____________________ Hey, #ThreeWordWednesday friends, we have some people joining us today from the weekly Works for Me Wednesday link up Mary Carver from Giving Up on Perfect usually hosts. Her blog is getting a redesign, so we're combining our Wednesday link ups. The more the merrier, right? Plus, y'all know I like a good party. Works for me! 

   

An InLinkz Link-up
   
Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Girl Meets Change {a review}

As I've navigated a new season that includes multiple changes in parenthood, friendships, and daily life, I’m grateful to have Kristen Strong’s “Girl Meets Change” as a companion. Her words remind me God has a purpose with the seasons we experience. This book is packed with truth, wisdom, and love that truly will help carry you through life’s transitions.

I've typed out all the lines I underlined and paragraphs I starred because I know I'll want to revisit these nuggets of truth and encouragement over and over again. I've recommended the books to friends, generally on Facebook and specifically to people as it pertains to their lives. And I've seen evidence that God has used Kristen's words to change my perspective of change.

If you're around here much, you know this isn't the first time I've mentioned "Girl Meets Change." I've quoted it and referenced it in other posts the last several weeks ::

Life is Movement :: "God knew I would need some wisdom in this season of transition because it’s no secret I’ve resisted change like the plague in the past. I want to embrace what God is doing here. The movement is evidence of the abundant life God promises."

My Free Time :: "I’m grateful for the way God orchestrated my life so I could have this season – as short as it may be – to take care of some things. Of course, I’m not necessarily taking care of the things I anticipated, but taking care of myself and other people is a worthwhile use of my time. ... God's goodness does not always come as my perception of productivity. Rather his goodness often looks like people and conversations and laughter and prayers."

4 Ways to Let Friendships Change with the Seasons :: "I’m sharing these four ways to let friendships change with the seasons – for you, yes, but as reminders for myself too. And when I say “let” I really mean I’m slowly learning to hold loosely the people I love, even when on some days I want to pull them all closely and hunker down in a commune-like bubble."

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ABOUT THE BOOK :: "Girl Meets Change: Truths to Carry You Through Life's Transitions" releases today! Here's the official summary: "Whether chosen or unexpected, all change brings stress. Kristen Strong knows about change – especially the kind you didn't choose. Over the years, she's fought hard to learn an important truth: change is not something to be feared but something to be received as a blessing from God who works through it, not in spite of it. In this hope-filled book, Kristen invites you to see all the ways you are loved and cared for in the midst of change. She walks alongside you as a friend, gently ushering you toward a new view of change, one that meets you at the crossroads of your own sense of anxiety and God's sense of purpose. With practical advice for coping in every part of life, she draws from her own experiences, the stories of others, and stories from Scripture to help you find contentment, purpose, and renewed strength."

224 pages. Published by Revell Books. Learn more at the book's lovely website.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Kristen Strong is a popular blogger at Chasing Blue Skies and DaySpring's (in)courage, as well as a writer whose work has appeared in MOMSense and Family Fun magazines. She and her husband, David, have three children. Together this military family has zig-zagged across the country (and one ocean!) several times, and they currently live in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Three Word Wednesday :: God is detailed

Looking back on what God has done in my life is always good for my soul. Lately, I've had lots of conversations with other women in the midst of their own adoption processes. Some are there for the first time, others have been there before. Regardless, I know how God works in the hearts of mommas preparing to open their homes to babies in this way.

A writer friend of mine recently posted on Facebook Psalm 116:7 :: "Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." She also talked about how this verse is where God had brought her after a long season of miscarriages and the more recent birth of her third child. 

I get it. I haven't had miscarriages, but I know the heartache of not understanding God's plan to grow my family. I know how waiting is hard. But I've learned God is faithful and hears the desires of our hearts. In his time, we get to understand more of the plan.

With that in mind, I thought I'd share an excerpt from my ebook, "Peace in the Process." Honestly, I just didn't have many new words for #ThreeWordWednesday and I needed this reminder myself. I hope it encourages you, whether or not you're in the midst of adoption. 
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At the time we were preparing for our second adoption, I studied “A Woman’s Heart” by Beth Moore with some ladies at church, learning about the Israelites’ experience building the Tabernacle and drawing parallels to the ways God dwells in his believers. God wanted the earthly Tabernacle to be a replica of a heavenly plan, so much so he instructed the Israelites how to build things, where to put them, and how to decorate them. Yes, our God is someone who appreciates and notices details. {Tweet that.}

Even knowing what God had done for us through Cate’s adoption, I clung to Beth Moore’s words:

“God is detailed. He is not a God of generalities. He is a God of individuality. Do not let Satan convince you that God is not actively involved in the intricate design of your life. God has not missed a single stitch or left a stone unturned on your behalf; furthermore, His activity in the details of your life most often displays His glory and beauty.”

The same God builds families. He has different ways of doing so, but He’s the master planner of them all. And God has been in the business of making families for many generations. Beth Moore commented in one of the Bible study videos that every time God makes childlessness an issue in the Bible as he did with Elizabeth, Hannah and Sarah, he is preparing his people for a miracle.

Every time.

Pregnancy comes easily to so many people – some of whom take the life inside of them for granted. But Beth Moore gave me new perspective on this: This thing that comes so naturally to some came supernaturally to Greg and me. I was chosen to become a mom this way and in the process witnessed God’s glory in a unique way.

Like Elizabeth said in Luke 1:25, “The Lord has done this for me.” I wonder how I will see God’s glory the next time.
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An InLinkz Link-up
   
I'm linking up this post with Works for Me Wednesday because looking back on what God has done in my life definitely works for me! Kayse Pratt is hosting WFMW for Mary Carver. They're two of my favorite bloggers on the whole internet, so go meet them, if you haven't already. And then later I linked up with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood, one of my other favorite places on the internet. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."