Thursday, October 17, 2013

Stop the mommy wars!

Moms {and dads} make countless decisions every day to do what we believe is best for our kids. Thing is, not all our decisions are the same. And that is OK, really. 

These decisions too often become debates with lines deeply drawn: Formula feeding vs. nursing. Co-sleeping vs. a crib in a different bedroom. Working vs. staying home. Schooling choices. Discipline methods. And there are so many smaller decisions about our routines, naptimes, snacks, food choices, TV time, extracurricular activities that are made constantly.

Motherhood rocked my world and I have no idea where I'd be without my friends who are journeying through this season of raising little ones. We have so many things in common. My kids have known some of my friends' kids their whole little lives. Others go to church or school with us. We meet at the park for lunch, go swimming and to the movies, and celebrate birthdays and milestones.

Yet we don't all do motherhood the same. I have friends who home school and others whose kids go to the nearby public school. My kids go to a small, private school. My best friend is in the process of going back to work full time, while I'm trying to be intentional about my stay-at-home time. Everyone in my house sleeps better when we're all in our own beds, but I have a dear friend who is used to little ones in her bed.

We could defend and debate why we do what we do. But, truth is, we're all doing the best we can. Real life isn't perfect. Some choices are hard. But our best is even better when we let each other in and cling to this community we're creating.

This is the essence of the Knock It Off! campaign Hearts at Home is promoting.

The Knock It Off! Commitment

I realize how often I judge myself.
I realize how often I judge others.

Because of these realizations, I commit to:
* Giving myself grace when I make mistakes.
* Extending grace to other moms when they make mistakes.
* Offering other moms the benefit of the doubt instead of jumping to judgmental conclusions.
* Recognizing that I cannot be and will never be a perfect mom.
* Refusing the temptation to judge when other moms make different choices than I make.
* Embracing differences instead of criticizing them.
* Resisting the urge to compare my insides to other women’s outsides.
* Making strides in honesty with other moms and living an authentic life.
* Doing my part to stop the mommy wars, one "Knock It Off" decision at a time.

{Sign this commitment and learn more here.}

If I see a mom with a screaming kid in the grocery store, I don't want to assume she doesn't discipline her child. Maybe she's having a hard day. Or a hard month. I want to be ready to lend a helping hand when a mom of three is juggling life when I pass her on the street. I hope I speak kindness to other moms rather than spew all the reasons she should do what I'm doing. I want to have conversations about real life and spur one another on toward the decisions we all have to make every day of our lives. 

Want to join me? 

I'm linking up with author Jill Savage today as she and other bloggers promote the Knock It Off campaign. Visit her blog and Hearts at Home for more encouragement. This year as been about embracing imperfection in my own life. One of my favorite resources on the topic is Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." I'm including an affiliate link to the book, but regular readers know this isn't the first time I've recommended it! I'm thrilled she has a follow-up book called "No More Perfect Kids" coming out next year.

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  1. Yes. This is so good and so needed. Thank you once again for being real and for encouraging real-ness in all of us.

  2. KristinHillTaylor10/21/2013 8:34 AM

    Thanks, Becky. Your comment encourages me.