Yes, I have kids who like to talk. They tell stories to anyone who will listen. Earlier today I asked my 3-year-old boy what he said because I couldn't hear him over my hairdryer. "Nuffin. I's just talkin' to myself."
So there is that. But that's not the noise I want to shush.
I replay conversations over in my mind and then analyze them. Did she know what I meant? I hope she didn't think I was too harsh.
Scenarios build themselves in my head, when really they shouldn't be something I spent any energy thinking about.
Too often I fill silences with unnecessary words. Sometimes they are too harsh or too critical or too much. Other times I should speak up sooner but my desire to please people gets in the away. This juxtaposition of too much and not enough then creates conflict in my mind as I search for clarity and wisdom.
This week's God-sized dream challenge from Holley Gerth took awhile for me to put into words. What do you really want more of in your life? Will you dare to say it out loud? Hint: it probably means having less of something too {ex: more joy, less stress}. Write a post sharing the desire(s) of your heart.
I really want more quiet in my life. I want to hear every word of my kids' stories while being fully present. I want to silence the conversations and scenarios that run on a never-ending loop in my mind with confidence that comes only from seeking God. I want to love and serve with authenticity that quiets any distractions of what's next or who else in the room.
Truth is, I can have it. I can have it because the Lord my God is with me. And he is mighty to save. He'll save me from my wanting-to-do-it-all, people-pleasing ways that sometimes cloud my conversations because I'm too busy replaying conversations and wondering how a scenario will unfold.
He takes great delight in me. He delights in the me who sometimes has too much to say and the me who doesn't know what to say. And he'll quiet me. He'll quiet the over-analysis of words and moments. He'll quiet the critical words that need to never be spoken. He'll rejoice over me with singing. It's when I let God quiet me that he makes himself known.
Tuesdays are God-sized Dream days around here and I'm linking this post along with many, many other dreamers on Holley Gerth's blog. You'll find encouragement, truth and community there. I also recommend Holley's "You're Made for a God-sized Dream." You can buy it from Amazon ($11.19) or DaySpring ($8.24 with code HOLLEY25 at checkout). I'm also linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria party for the first time.
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