Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Where I Am

I spent this past Saturday with a dozen other adoptive mommas at the second annual Hope That Binds retreat. We ate well, shared our stories, asked the hard questions, pointed each other to resources, laughed, and cried. We looked at the past, talked about the present, and pondered the future.

Where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going matters. {Tweet that.}

Yes, we should not dwell on the past, but it’s important to remember how God has been faithful. Sometimes the present is full of contradicting emotions, but that’s okay because sadness and joy can co-exist. The future is always an adventure and God is the Ultimate Planner, but he’s also a God of order and dreams.

One of the exercises I loved was when we all wrote on small slips of colorful paper words and phrases that told about our present. I am … peacefully sad, waiting for a season of rest, grateful, refreshed, working through birthmom relationship, wanting to count it all joy, thankful, drained, content, excited for change, out of shape, connected, learning, embracing change, emotional, patiently waiting, overwhelmed, longing, healing, curious, enjoying this time of the year, not where I expected, starting new adventures, saying “no,” and in need of beach therapy.

Many of those emotions and circumstances could apply to any of our lives. The exercise made me slow down in the midst of a busy life and appreciate where I am. So today I thought I’d make a list that claims my present while being aware of what God has done and is going to do.

I am …
  • a momma to three.
  • almost 37 years old.
  • married to a fellow first-born who invited me out for ice cream in college.
  • a daughter, sister, aunt, and friend.
  • excited to live in the country.
  • requiring helmets for anyone who rides our four-wheeler.
  • loving the sunshine and ready for summer.
  • in disbelief my oldest is almost 9.
  • missing a couple dear friends.
  • eager to see what God does next.
  • grateful I get to stay at home and work on the side of being a mom.
  • thankful for lessons in #choosingJOY.
  • a reader with a big list of books I want to read.
  • a writer with a few projects on my mind.
  • understanding my son in a new way.
  • purging my house.
  • anticipating some summer plans.
  • looking forward to May.
  • making sure Rachel doesn’t pull down the living room curtains or put any cords in her mouth.
  • excited to see Rend Collective in concert this coming weekend.

Tell me about where you are – the ordinary and the extraordinary, the lovely and the hard, the joy-filled and the messes. This is the stuff that makes up life. These are the things that will become memories of God’s faithfulness. Even if we feel stuck, life won’t be like this – just like this – for long.

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