Monday, November 30, 2015

On saying "I'm happy for you ..." and meaning it {a review & giveaway}


I don’t have a Pinterest account for several reasons, one of which is it makes me hold too tightly to unrealistic expectations. I love social media and the way it connects people. But it’s easy to browse through Facebook posts, Instagram snapshots, and pins and start comparing my own insides – my dreams, my thoughts, my plans, my expectations – to someone else’s outside – their family photos, their vacation spots, their home d├ęcor, and their fairytale.

I know everything that happens in my head, but I’m only seeing a glimpse of what’s actually happening in their lives. I’ve stayed on social media because the good totally outweighs the bad for me, but while reading “I’m Happy For You (Sort Of … Not Really)” by Kay Wills Wyma I found myself wanting to approach my News Feed – and life – in a different way.

I want to say “I’m happy for you …” and mean it more often. {Tweet that.} I want to trade comparison for compassion.

“‘I’m happy for you’ (if you mean it) breathes life into tense and uncomfortable situations. Being preoccupied with how we measure up personally leads to either pride or humiliation, whereas choosing to focus on and congratulate the other person lifts us both up.”
{Kay Wyma on page 24}

In “I’m Happy for You (Sort Of … Not Really),” Wyma shares real-life stories that made me chuckle – because I get them – and inspired me to think about my reactions and expectations. The pages are full of practical advice and encouragement to find contentment in a world that presses us to compare, although I admittedly skimmed over some sections that weren’t relevant to my life or personality.

I remember when I longed to be a mom. Pregnancy announcements would send me into tears – and that was before I even had a Facebook account.

I remember when I decided I wanted to publish our family’s adoption story, which is also part of my faith story, and the internet was full with so many new books and projects that made me wonder if mine mattered.

I remember when I thought I needed to care about every cause I saw posted on Facebook, making me wonder where I could best serve.

But God’s been doing a work to teach me he’s created me with the gifts and interests I have. It doesn’t matter I don’t like to bake. I have my priorities and preferences – and those aren’t always going to look like my friends’ choices.

God is doing a work here – in me – and that doesn’t always translate in a snapshot on Instagram. Even so, I want to celebrate what God is doing here – and what He’s doing elsewhere. I want to live with compassion and let go of comparison.

“Being able to say ‘I’m happy for you’ is not merely about celebrating someone else but about escaping the prison of dissatisfaction built by the bars of self-centered thinking. As we deliberately pursue compassion rather than comparison, we find our lives enlarged. Contentment isn’t something yet to be found out there; it’s right here with us, ready to be enjoyed.”
{Kay Wyma on page 206}
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ABOUT THE BOOK :: In her relatable style, Kay Wyma confronts the comparison epidemic raging in our homes, our neighborhoods, and our social-media feeds, offering remedies along the way. “I’m Happy For You (Sort Of … Not Really)” explores the troubling effects of living in an excessively competitive culture — and reveals simple yet effective ways to escape the comparison trap. Paperback, 240 pages. Published by WaterBrook Press (May 5, 2015).

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Kay Wills Wyma is a blogger, mother of five, and the author of “Cleaning House” through which she has appeared on “The TODAY Show,” CNN, “The New York Times,” Focus on the Family, and more. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, she held positions at the White House, the Staubach Company, and Bank of America. Kay lives in the Dallas area with her husband, Jon, and their family. Keep up with her at on her website, Facebook, or Twitter.

GIVEAWAY :: Use the Rafflecopter below to enter to win a copy of this book, thanks to FlyBy Promotions / Propeller Consulting. The giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents through Monday, Dec. 7. A winner will be selected randomly.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Many thanks to Propeller Consulting / FlyBy Promotions for providing a copy of this book for me to review in exchange for a review and another copy for one of you! If you have won a prize from Propeller / FlyBy in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

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