Thursday, August 29, 2013

{Out of the Blue} Their words are Jesus to me

I emailed some friends a plea for prayers last week because I felt desperate and judged and frustrated. I was a little worried when I hit send that my friends would ignore my ramblings or perhaps even judge me more than the stranger already had. Most of these people I emailed have been in my house. We've watched each other kids. We've loved and disciplined and laughed and cried and broken down and built up and dreamed together. A couple people are online friends who have been on a God-sized dream journey with me and I figured the extra prayers wouldn't hurt.

I shouldn't have been surprised when I got texts, emails and phone calls saying: I love you. I love your family. The fact you care what kind of mom you are makes you a good mom. You are not alone. What do you need?

My friends held me up. They continue to spur me on. They continue to pray. They let me ramble clustered emotions.

And then that same day I sent the vulnerable email, I turned up the radio {because, really, if it's louder, won't it drown out the frustrations with truth?} and heard song after song that I felt was for me.

"Hello, my name is child of the one true King/I've been saved, I've been changed, and I have been set free" :: From "Hello, My Name Is" by Matthew West

"I wanna live like there's no tomorrow/Love, like I'm on borrowed time/It's good to be alive" :: From "Good to Be Alive" by Jason Gray

"We can't pretend to see the ending or what's coming up ahead/To know the story of tomorrow/But we can stay close to the One who knows/We can trust our God/He knows what He's doing/Though it might hurt now/We won't be ruined" :: From "He Is With Us" by Love & The Outcome

"Step out on the edge/Don't be afraid of it/And when you feel the rain/Call his name/He'll find your in the hurricane" :: From "Hurricane" by Natalie Grant

During the past couple days I've read in Ephesians about how we're adopted as God's children and he lavishes glorious grace upon us. And I've read more truth as I've clicked on links throughout the big 'ole Internet that makes the world seem kind of small, really.

"Hope for Spicy Families" by Jen Hatmaker :: "One of my favorite truths from Scripture is that condemnation is a trick of the enemy, not the language of the heavens. Shame is not the rhetoric of redemption, so if we are a slave to it, we have moved outside the protective covering of mercy. And it is harsh out there, debilitating actually. If your inner monologue is constantly critical, endlessly degrading, it may be time to move a few feet back under the umbrella of grace. For there the yoke is easy and the burden is light. Then we can breathe and assess our own parenting with the same kindness we extend to others. You are doing a wonderful job. Parenting is mind-numbingly hard and none of us will be perfect at it and all of us will jack a thousand parts of it, and somehow, against all odds, it will still be enough."

"Stop Second-Guessing" by Jennifer Camp :: "Stop pondering the ways you need to do life differently. Stop second-guessing where I am and what I love doing with you and how amazing and beautiful I’ve made you to be."

I shouldn't be surprised. These songs and articles echo what God has been speaking to my heart. They seemed a little out of the blue to me, but God promises he's with us. And I'm choosing to believe these songs and words and friends are Jesus in my life. 

I'm sharing this hod-podge post with Kristen Strong's Out of the Blue series, which has reminded me God is always working. 

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  1. I saw you in my FB feed and hopped on over to say hi! Oh, friend, your words are balm for my heart. I am in this place, too. And I needed these beautiful reminders you've shared here. Yes, again and again. Thank you. Love you.

  2. You are so not alone in having days like that. And I too have also discovered on those days if we just pray and worship and listen for Him, he will show up in the smallest things. Such as something a child says or in songs!

  3. KristinHillTaylor8/29/2013 4:56 PM

    This adoption journey has been such a rocky ride - and we're only at the beginning! Thanks for your comment, Mindy!

  4. KristinHillTaylor8/29/2013 4:56 PM

    I'm glad you hopped over. I'm going to email you soon. :)

  5. KristenStrong8/30/2013 12:46 PM

    Beautiful, Kristin. Hooray and thank you Jesus for friends who got your back and songs that got your soul.

    Just love you, girl. xo

  6. KristinHillTaylor8/30/2013 12:49 PM

    Thank you, Kristen. Your words are sweet inspiration to me.

  7. I had friends that lifted me this week as well. I was vulnerable and they extended grace. Such a gift from God. Linked next to you at Kristen's :)

  8. KristinHillTaylor8/31/2013 10:12 PM

    I'm so glad you experienced that kind of community this week. It's certainly a blessing! Thanks for visiting over here. :)