{No More Perfect Moms} The Perfection Infection

The Perfection Infection infects me. Big time.

I compare myself and my kids and my husband to other people, often even to the people I adore. Sometimes it's because I think they're doing better than me. Other times I'm full of pride with how we've decided to live life. But all-too-often I'm comparing what I see with what I feel. That's like apples and oranges.

Then the apples and oranges squirt all over the kitchen floor, near where the recyclables are multiplying in the right side of the kitchen sink. I fill my son's sippy cup countless times a day and then wish {sometimes aloud} that he'd decide using the potty was better than laying on his changing table with his hands relaxed behind his head.

Meanwhile, my 5-year-old daughter loves public bathrooms and usually decides she needs to go as soon as we sit down to dinner. Wherever we are. She wants to go by herself, but even our small town I don't usually think that's a good idea.

I have lots of ideas. Read: Expectations. For myself. For my kids behavior. For how my friends should respond. For my husband to read my mind. For the stranger in front of me at the check-out lane at Kroger. For my friends' kids while playing with mine. For my piles of laundry and those crumbs on my floor. For the Lego I keep stepping on and for all the many Crayola products in my daughter's life.

All of that and so much more is why as I continue to read "No More Perfect Moms" I wonder how author Jill Savage knew what I needed to hear. Seriously. She's labeled my diagnosis: The Perfection Infection. She knows all the symptoms Then I remember it's because I'm not alone. This Perfection Infection is ... well ... infectious. And I want to rid my life of it. Thankfully, she offers some remedies too. 

Jill Savage reminds us we are new creations in Christ and that involves deciding {each day, each moment} to follow him by putting on our new self.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. 

Ephesians 4:22-24

In the book, Jill Savage talks about changing pride for humility, fear for courage, insecurity for confidence, and judgement for grace. She elaborates on these in practical ways and comes back to them in the following chapters that focus on kids, bodies, marriages, friends, days, homes and homemaking ... and the imperfections of the realities of all these relationships and responsibilities.

{You can "look inside" this book for yourself and read the first three chapters before it releases. But don't order it yet, but get ready to do so Feb. 4-9. Along with the release of "No More Perfect Moms," Hearts at Home and Moody Publishers will offer additional bonus resources worth more than $100 if you order/buy the book anytime Feb. 4-9. Click here to learn more about this and sign up to be reminded of the release date.}

I took notes about how I can show my husband and kids more grace. I thought about ways I could love my friends and strangers with grace. I remembered ways I could keep insecurity from seeping into my days.

Most all of it keeps coming back to expectations. And how I need to make my expectations more realistic. This doesn't mean lower them, just change them.

"Our expectations are often what keep us from enjoying our real lives, our real families, our real bodies, and our real houses. ... More often than not, we need to change our perspective to better cope with real life. We need to change unrealistic expectations to realistic expectations."

{Jill Savage in No More Perfect Moms}

My kids are 5 and 3 years old. They don't have self-control in the way I often wish they did. I too often scold them for acting like kids when my expectations get interrupted and tell them no because whatever they're asking is inconvenient. I want control and others' approval. They're going to make messes. They're going to mess up, sometimes at what seems like the worst time. But I want my kids to learn and grow and become the people God created them to be. And I don't want my impatience and pride sometimes stand in the way. God created my children. And he created love and outlined exactly how love should be.

God created my husband and our marriage and my friends too. They all make this life richer and funnier and sweeter. And that's why I want to put on humility, courage, confidence, grace, and love. Those characteristics will soften the imperfections that come with real life.

_______

A PDF copy of "No More Perfect Moms" was provided to me as part of the book's launch team, but I've been excited about this book for awhile and these comments are mine. This book {and lots of extra goodies} will be released on Feb. 4. Get ready to buy it. Read my previous posts about this book and my imperfect motherhood experiences here. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.