You're Already Amazing {a review}

I’ve had the privilege of sitting at a table with Holley Gerth. We talked about infertility, adoption, writing, marriage, and faith. We shared how all of those aspects of life work together and become part of our purpose.

That’s what the new “You’re Already Amazing: Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You To Be” study is like.

Who wouldn’t want to sit at the table with Holley Gerth? She’s an encourager of women. She wants people to find their place in God’s kingdom. She gracefully dispels the idea women have to be all things to all people and rather encourages women to be who God created them each uniquely to be.

But she doesn’t want figuring that out to mean doing more. She understands the pressures of this world and how they distract us from what matters.

In this study, which is based on her book by the same name published in 2012, she asks questions, offers encouragement based on scripture, and shares real-life stories. I’ve been working through it on my own, but it would be a wonderful study to go through with your closest friends or women in your bigger circle.

There are six sessions – each with a section in the workbook and then a video that’s about 10 minutes long. The sessions are called: Who God Created Us to Be, What’s True No Matter How We Feel, Our Amazing Journey with Jesus, God’s Plan for Our Relationships, God’s Purpose for Our Lives, How We Can Thrive for a Lifetime. There are sections in the workbook to answer specific questions, journal thoughts and prayers, and do other creative exercises.

While some sections of study come directly from her original non-fiction book, you could do the study without having read the book. Likewise, even if you’ve read the original book, you’d still benefit from the study because it offers new information and has the exercises to make practical applications to your own life.

During the second session on emotions and God’s truth, I got a new perspective on one of my favorite passages of scripture (Phil. 4:6-7). Holley writes about the armor of God from Ephesians 6:10-17 and how the breastplate of righteousness covers our hearts. In other words, that’s important because “choosing to do what is right in spite of our emotions protects us” (page 54).

Whoa, says the girl who has been known to respond with my emotions when I should have focused on the truth. Like Holley shares in the video for the second session, “emotions are good messengers but bad bosses.”

Then she brought me back to the passage from Philippians I love:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Will guard your hearts and minds. Our emotions matter, but they aren’t always based in truth. Holley does a believe job of teaching why replacing lies with truth matters – in your own life and how your life overflows to others for the glory of God.
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Learn more about "You're Already Amazing" LifeGrowth Guide & DVD at Holley Gerth's website as well as on Amazon {LifeGrowth Guide // "You're Already Amazing"}. I received a free copy of Holley Gerth's "You're Already Amazing" LifeGrowth Guide & DVD for being part of her launch team. The insights here are my own. 

I'm linking up this post at Holley Gerth's place. 

Want more insights? Subscribe to get new posts in your inbox and a monthly newsletter with content not available on the blog. When you subscribe, I'll send you a FREE #choosingJOY printable. 

"Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, or follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin'.

{Three Word Wednesday} Moment by Moment

Nineteen years and one day ago I decided to follow Jesus. Somebody had just talked about the Prodigal Son and how he came home. The worship band played “Growing Young” by Rich Mullins. And I nailed some sins written on a slip of paper to a wooden cross laying in the floor.

You’d say I was saved that night.

But I’ve since learned salvation is about so much more than that one moment. Of course, that one moment mattered because it changed every other one that would follow.

That night I believed I was saved from myself and eternal separation from God. I’ve since realized I was saved for something too. My salvation frames my story. My choices – where I went to college, who I dated, who I married, trying to conceive, deciding the adopt, how I spend my time, how I spend my money, what we teach our kids – are continually filtered through my identity as a daughter of God who decided 19 years ago to come home.

Although, really, it’s not about just coming home.

I’ve never been the rebellious one. I’m your stereotypical first-born child who follows rules, wants to please people, and has controlling tendencies. When I first heard the story of the Prodigal Son, I figured God wanted us all to learn that we need to come home – to him. And when we do, he’s waiting for us.

While that’s absolutely true, I don’t think that’s all the story is about. {If you don’t know the story, read it here.}

Truthfully, I identify more with the older brother – the one who kept the rules and was bitter when his brother got a party and grace when he deserved judgment and punishment. My natural ways tend more toward justice than mercy.

But I follow a God who is the exact opposite.

“You can choose, like many, to chain yourself to your hurt. Or you can choose, like some, to put away your hurts before they become hates. You can choose to go the party. You have a place there. Your name is beside a plate. If you are a child of God, no one can take away your sonship.

Which is precisely what the father says to the older son. ‘Son, you are always with me, and all I have is yours’ (Luke 15:31). And that is precisely what the Father says to you. How does God deal with your bitter heart? He reminds you that what you have is more important than what you don’t have. …

The brother was bitter because he focused on what he didn’t have and forgot what he did have. His father reminded him – and us – that he had everything he’d always had. He had his job. His place. His name. His inheritance. The only thing he didn’t have was the spotlight. And because he wasn’t content to share it – he missed the party.”

{Max Lucado in “He Still Moves Stones”}

Because of who God is, I’m not the same person I was 19 years ago. It began with a moment of salvation and has continued as God has saved me, adopted me, promised me, grown me, transformed me, taught me, strengthened me, forgiven me, trusted me, and celebrated me so many moments since.

Some hurts still haunt me, but I know God is dealing with those now. I’m sure there will be more hurts, but God promises in the end everything will work together for the good for those who follow him (Romans 8:28).

I was saved then. And I’m being saved now. Moment by moment. Grace by grace.
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An InLinkz Link-up

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I'm also linking up this post with Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

How January has changed me

Ask me what my favorite month is and I will tell you May. I love that it’s my birth month and the month I became a momma. I love the weather and how it changes from the beginning to the end. I like that it’s the month when the doors to summer open wide.

But it’s been January that’s changed my life.

Nineteen years ago, I became a Christian on a weekend that epitomized God’s love in a way I’d never experienced and breathed the beginning of true transformation into my heart.

Thirteen years ago, Greg surprised me with a marriage proposal. I said yes, obviously, and we were married later in 2002.

Life-changing news isn’t always good, but I was diagnosed with diabetes 11 years ago.

And then there were two big adoption-related moments. In 2007, we met Cate’s birth mom for the first time in a doctor’s office waiting room. We saw our girl, thanks to the ultrasound. And then we all committed to this adoption plan. In 2010, Ben’s adoption was finalized.

Talk about January and I think back to these things. Perhaps I should stop giving May all the favorite-month credit and realize I wouldn’t be who I am without so many Januarys.

In honor of this, “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family” will be on sale for 99 cents, starting today and continuing through the end of the month. This ebook is my story. It’s the story of so much brokenness redeemed in ways only God can do.

Yes, it’s about adoption, but it’s also my faith journey. People who have no desire to adopt have been encouraged. I hope you will be encouraged too. {Did you know you can also gift ebooks? Anyone can read a Kindle book with a free app for mobile devices and computers.}

Yes, January is cold and dreary. But God redeems and makes new. And that’s reason enough to celebrate.
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I'm joining others for the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Gathering as well as Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory.

I'm also linking this post with Hearts at Home's Blog Hop at Jill Savage's place. This month she's talking about starting fresh, which is what January reminds me to do. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Three Word Wednesday} Choosing joy – again

I claimed this one three-lettered word for the new year. I knew God was giving to me because it’s what he’s been speaking into my life – for years, really. I believe change is possible, even when it seems so far away. I want some things deep in my soul to be different – like a better version of what is happening right now.

But I had no idea how JOY would be laid in front of me. Like God was reminding it’s really right here. I walk pass it and ignore its sounds far too often. But I don’t want to keep doing that this year. 

I want to choose joy – over and over. It’s not like I can choose it once and be done. I chose it before the year started. I got side tracked with kids’ sickness and life. And I chose it again. More life and expectations. So I choose it again. Today. And I’ll choose it again tomorrow too.

My husband likes to sing songs as soon as he steps out of bed. He is more relaxed and naturally joy-filled than I am. Our son is much like him. They aggravate me sometimes, but they also point me to joy. It’s hard to miss joy when you’re around them.

Joy is showing up in the songs I’m listening to and the books I’m reading. I recently finished “The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You” by Jessica Turner and on page 50 her words seemed to bridge my struggles and my goals in one paragraph.

“Life is not perfect. You are not perfect. But you are a glorious creation, and your life is meant to be lived with joy. Some days you aren't going to get your makeup on, you will burn the bookies for the school bake sale, and you will spill wine on the rug. In our mess, God makes us strong. In your glorious imperfection, you can still shine beautifully bright. Embrace that truth. Stop trying to be everything for everyone and start investing in who and what really matters.”

{Jessica Turner in “The Fringe Hours”}

I believe the joy I’m choosing really matters. It’s a process so beyond myself that I know it’s going to stretch me and grow me in ways only God can orchestrate.

I also started reading “In this House We Will Giggle: Making Virtues, Love, and Laughter a Daily Part of Your Family Life,” thanks to Kayse Pratt’s encouragement. Greg and I are going to read this one together. And, of course, the first chapter is on joy. In it, author Courtney DeFeo quotes Kay Warren: “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.”

Um, what an amazing definition.

And I certainly don’t have joy figured out if that’s my standard, but it’s a good place to start.

So I’m keeping a list of moments that bring me joy. Some of them are little everyday conversations that come with being a mom. Others are surprises throughout the day that I want to recognize and remember. I’m keeping a note going on my iPhone and posting pictures on Instagram with #choosingJOY. {I’d love for you to follow along and even post your own moments of #choosingJOY.} Counting joys one by one because I know as I look back I will be remembered that God is indeed in control and that everything will be okay. 

And I want my kids to learn that too.

“I don’t want my children to obey only because they fear consequences or worry that Mom will lose it. I want to know their hearts understand and grasp the joy to be found in doing the right thing. This requires parenting through the daily grind with a long-term mentality.”

{Courtney DeFeo in “In This House We Will Giggle”}

So we played hide-n-seek this week before Daddy came home from work. Honestly, he’s better at starting such games. We turned up some music while we disinfected the house once Ben was recovered from the flu. We read and played when there were still chores to be done.

I still don’t want to sing songs when I first wake up or at the dinner table, but I do sense some freedom and joy that hasn’t always been present in our house. I believe this is the beginning of something more.

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In my post last week, I mentioned the playlist I’m making. Like me, it’s a work in progress, but this is what I have now. Some songs are about joy, others bring me joy, and some capture the message my heart needs to experience joy.

“Laugh Out Loud” by Jason Gray :: “… I was alive but I wasn’t living, a prisoner of my fear and shame. But when you find you’ve been forgiven laughter will rise like a holy kind of praise. So I throw my head back and offer up my thanks! Ha ha, don’t it make you wanna laugh out loud? Oooh oooh, and shout, “Hallelujah!” Oh yeah, if you got joy go and let it on out …”

“Joy” by Rend Collective :: “We're choosing celebration, breaking into freedom. … You're the song of our hearts. … You're the joy joy joy lighting my soul, the joy joy joy making me whole though I'm broken, I am running into Your arms of love. The pain will not define us; joy will reignite us …”

“Joy to the World” by Shaun Groves :: This is beautiful combination of “Joy to the World” and “All Creatures.”

“Only Hope I’ve Got” by Ellie Holcomb :: “I don't wanna tell some arrogant story or let myself believe I'm You. I don't wanna be a thief who's stealing your glory. Will you help remind me of what is true? The only hope I've got; it's you …”

“More Heart, Less Attack” by NEEDTOBREATHE :: “Be the light in the crack. Be the one that’s been there on a camel’s back. Slow to anger quick to laugh. Be more heart and less attack …”

“Joy to the World (You Are My Joy)” by Rend Collective :: Another fun version of the traditional song.

“Greater” by MercyMe :: “Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed when others say I’ll never be enough. And greater is the One living inside of me than he who is living in the world … Bring your doubts. Bring your fears. Bring your hurt. Bring your tears. There’ll be no condemnation here. You are holy, righteous and redeemed.”

“Your Love Never Fails” by Newsboys :: “You stay the same through the ages. Your love never changes. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. And when the oceans rage, I don't have to be afraid because I know that You love me. Your love never fails …”

“Open Up the Heavens” by Meredith Andrews :: “Open up the heavens. We want to see you. Open up the floodgates, a mighty river, flowing from your heart, filling every part of our praise. … You're the reason we're here; you're the reason we're singing.”

“Outsiders” by NEEDTOBREATHE :: “Cause if you're not laughing who is laughing now? I've been wondering if we start sinking could we stand our ground? And through everything we've learned we've finally come to terms we are the outsiders. … On the outside, you're free to roam. On the outside, we've found a home. On the outside, there's more to see. On the outside, we choose to be.”

“I Am” by Crowder :: “There’s no space that His love can’t reach. There’s no place that we can’t find peace. There’s no end to amazing grace. Take me in with your arms spread wide. Take me in like an orphan child. Never let go, never leave my side. … Love like this, Oh my God to find! I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!”

“Promise of Summer” by Jackopierce :: “The winter fields begin to recover and finally it's the promise of summer. Lights are shining round and the guards are coming down …”

“Eyes Wide Open” by Jars of Clay & Third Day :: “Keep our eyes wide open. (Love is kind and love is daring everything we need to keep our eyes.) Draw us in, send us out. Draw us in, send us out. Draw us in, pull us out. Help us to believe.”

“Joy to the World” by Bebo Norman :: Another great version!

“Mighty to Save” by Mac Powell :: Just wait for the African children to join him!

“Hey Mama” by Mat Kearney :: “Singing hey mama, don't want no drama, just a kiss before I leave …”

“Multiplied” by NEEDTOBREATHE :: “God of mercy sweet love of mine, I have surrendered to Your design. May this offering stretch across the skies and these halleluiahs be multiplied …”

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Where do you find joy? {Leave a comment sharing and two people will win a copy of my playlist! I'll randomly choose the winners next Wednesday.}

An InLinkz Link-up

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I'm also linking up with Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory. Be sure to read Jennifer's post on fighting back with joy. It's beautiful and true. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

One Word :: JOY

“Light, space, zest—that’s God! So, with him on my side I’m fearless, afraid of no one and nothing. … I’m asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with him in his house my whole life long. I’ll contemplate his beauty; I’ll study at his feet. That’s the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world, the perfect getaway, far from the buzz of traffic. … Already I’m singing God-songs; I’m making music to God. … Point me down your highway, God; direct me along a well-lighted street; show my enemies whose side you’re on. I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God.”

{From Psalm 27 in The Message}

I started this year thinking about the word LIGHT. And, of course, God has used that word over and over in my life. He’s taught me about living in the light and laying down details so my burden is light.

This year, I’ve started a journey of breaking free from some strongholds that are rooted so deeply in my childhood that I thought they were all just part of me. But God is showing me that doesn’t have to be true. He’s got a better plan. It involves forgiving and moving forward. It involves trusting him in a new way. It requires my whole heart.

This is a hard journey for me.

Those strongholds are so deeply rooted in my soul that they’ve overflowed into my marriage, my parenting ability, and daily life more than I ever realized – until this year when they were brought to light in a new way to me.

To continue on this well-lighted path God has me on, I want to embrace joy – not circumstantial happiness but joy that comes from living out the abundant life God promises. I want to know my soul is free – even on the hard days.

I’ve been thinking about this word … JOY. It’s such a simple word, but I’ve realized joy is hard for me because I want to hold on, even when I know the change that is coming is healthy and good. I paused with embracing this focus for the new year because it’s seems cliché these days, but I have no doubt God wants JOY – his joy alone – to seep so deeply in my heart that I am changed from the inside out.

Those verses from Psalm 27 were read at church recently. It wasn’t that translation, but sometimes I scroll on the Bible Gateway app during church to read different translations. This time The Message translation struck me, bridging how God wanted me to take what I learned about LIGHT and apply it to JOY. Of course, in God all things are connected, but these words made it so clear to my heart.

Light, space, zest—that’s God!

And that’s what God wants for me. I know it. But it’s like God knew I needed a reminder that the hard journey is worth it. Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God.

We’ve just celebrated Christmas and this one-word focus for the new year was confirmed over and over again as I listened to several different versions of “Joy to the World,” one of my favorite carols. I thought I’d share my favorite versions with you.

“Joy to the World (All Creatures)” by Shaun Groves

“Joy to the World (You Are My Joy)” by Rend Collective

“Joy to the World” by Bebo Norman

“Joy to the World” by Jason Gray

“Joy to the World” by Randall Goodgame/Slugs & Bugs

“Joy to the World” by Third Day

“Joy to the World (Unspeakable Joy)” by Chris Tomlin

Like I did with LIGHT, I’m going to collect songs of JOY this year. So joining “Joy to the World” is Jason Gray’s “Laugh Out Loud” to start the new playlist.

“… I was alive but I wasn’t living

A prisoner of my fear and shame

But when you find you’ve been forgiven

Laughter will rise like a holy kind of praise

So I throw my head back and offer up my thanks!

Ha ha, don’t it make you wanna laugh out loud

Oooh oooh, and shout, “Hallelujah!”

Oh yeah, if you got joy go and let it on out

Ha ha ha ha

He said bring to Me, your heavy heart

Take my hand and we’ll go whistling in the dark …”

{From “Laugh Out Loud” by Jason Gray}

I can’t actually whistle, but I can trust God. I can offer up my thanks and learn more about this joy God is offering me. So, this is how 2015 begins for me.
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An InLinkz Link-up

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What’s your focus going to be this year? Some people choose one word instead of making resolutions. I’ve liked doing that because while it’s a focus, it’s still wide open for God to move. And I’m not failing at resolutions just a few days into the year this way!

I'm linking up with this post with Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory, other God-sized Dreamers, Beth Hess' One Word 2015 post, Circles of Faith, and Holley Gerth's Coffee For Your Heart. Holley recently wrote about how laughter can sound like praise, helping confirm what God is teaching me. I also shared this post with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering that Jen Ferguson hosts and Anne's Front Porch Inspired. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available at Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Three Word Wednesday} Talk about adventure

The wild tree in my living room reminds me that life is full of adventure as we seek God and the dreams He’s given us.

A few years ago, we decided to cut down a tree from my mother-in-law’s farm to use as our Christmas tree. We brought along some friends who did the same. Mimicking the children’s classic “We’re going on a bear hunt …,” our kids chanted, “We’re going on a tree hunt …”

If four years in a row can make a tradition, we made one – one that we never anticipated but continues to go down as a favorite holiday adventure.

This is the fourth year our living room is decked out with a tree from our hunt. I love the smell and the unconformed look of its branches wildly reaching out. God created this tree uniquely – just like he does each one of us and our dreams.

I prefer white lights and ornaments from places we’ve been and those that document my kids’ growth. I even like their handmade ones. Our tree is perfectly imperfect and radiates beauty. Maybe your Christmas tree is artificial with shining colored lights. It doesn’t matter – it’s yours.

And it’s okay if you don’t decorate for Christmas the same way every year. We’ve had artificial trees in the past, and in some ways that’s easier. But we like the adventure that comes with my husband Greg using a chain saw, hauling the wild tree home, and making it fit in a portion of our living room. The kids like to help decorate, stretching their little arms as high as they’ll reach.

I really love when the house is quiet and dark, but there in the corner of the living room is the glowing beauty from our tree. Sometimes I need the quiet and dark to see the glory.

I think about when God told us to adopt. We had no idea what we were getting into – talk about adventure.

I remember when I realized I was supposed to tell our infertility and adoption story because it’s my faith journey that taught me I belong to God. Yes, the earthly adoptions made us a family, but we’re also co-heirs with Christ. The parallels are exciting and the most tangible example of faith I’ve experienced.

I spend time with my community of people. It’s loud and chaotic, but God is there and I can’t imagine my life without them. That’s real life adventure right there.

{Join me at the God-sized Dreams website, where you can read the rest of this post.}

 

    An InLinkz Link-up
   

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I'm also linking up this post at Holley Gerth's Coffee For Your Heart, Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory, and the Soli Deo Gloria Gathering that Jen Ferguson hosts. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Three Word Wednesday} Less is More

Our tree is smaller than those the last few years. I have less decorations out than usual – not that I decorate that much anyway. Instead of doing a photo card and newsletter, I just made a year-in-review newsletter for our friends and family. I don’t bake much under normal circumstances. I scaled back our gift-giving list this year, even though I love buying gifts. And I didn’t plan our annual Jesus Birthday Party that had become a staple activity on other family’s calendars.

Less is more.

I keep hearing those three in my soul and feel free when I embrace them.

I love the Christmas season. I love traditions and plans with friends. And I am certain doing less won’t mean I enjoy what matters – this Christmas or any other day.

That’s how God works. His Kingdom is nothing like the world. With God, the last shall be first and the poor made rich. He tells us all to come to Him like children. He becomes greater when I become less (John 3:30).

Less is more. I keep repeating the phrase in hopes it will sink into my heart.

In doing so, I feel free to chase what is holy – that which is not of this world. When I let go of burdens and expectations of this world, I’m yoking myself to Jesus, who promises a lighter burden and an easy yoke (Matt. 11:28-30).

Too often I yoke myself to feelings and tasks that don’t matter. I idolize productivity and things that aren’t going to bring peace. And yet I hear the Prince of Peace telling me less is more. I hear it when my kids play, when my family sits down around the table with friends, and when the UPS guy arrives with yet another box because I’ve been doing my Christmas shopping in the quieter moments at home.

The Christmas Story is the epitome of less is more.

“What kind of King would leave His throne in Heaven to make this earth His home? While men seek fame and great renown in lowliness our King comes down. … What kind of King would come so small, from glory to a humble stall? That dirty manger is my heart too. I'll make it a royal throne for You. Jesus, Jesus, precious one, how we thank You that You've come. Jesus, Jesus, precious one, a manger throne for God's own son.”

{From “Manger Throne” by Third Day, Julie Miller and Derri Daugherty}

God could have sent Jesus however he wanted to and he chose a young woman to give birth to the Savior of the world. The birth could have happened wherever God saw fit, yet newborn baby Jesus was laid in the manger – where animals come to eat.

The details matter because God orchestrated what seemed so ordinary to do something extraordinary. Yet wise men followed a star then and people continue seeking the One whose birth we still celebrate. Jesus feeds our soul with truths that don’t always make sense in this world.

Less is more. In a mighty kind of way.

An InLinkz Link-up

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I'm also linking up this post with Holley Gerth's Coffee For Your Heart and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory. Just after I finished writing this post earlier this week, I read Jennifer's post on having a preapproved Christmas. Y'all want to go read that one too, if you haven't already. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Three Word Wednesday} Quit doing that

A Murray State fan in front of me kept yelling, “Quit doing that.” He was obviously frustrated by what the players were – or weren’t – doing on the court. But the players couldn’t hear him. Even they could, he didn’t specify who was doing what that he wanted to stop.

As soon as I finished thinking about how pointless his yelling was, I realized I had done the same thing this morning with 5-year-old Ben. “Stop that.” “Quit that.” “Didn’t you hear me say stop?” “Why won’t you stop?” I emphasized my desire without specifying the actual request.

Too often I yell generalities and get frustrated when specific behaviors don’t change. But even if the behavior did change, that’s not ultimately what I want. I actually want my boy to learn and grow and mature. I want better decision-making ability to accompany a heart change.

That’s probably really what the fan wanted too. Some of the blue and gold faithful had gathered in Nashville – just two hours from home – to watch the Challenge in Music City. We’d all watched Murray State lose a close game Friday night and then get blown out in a second game Saturday night. As fans, we craved hope, and possibly better shooting. We wanted to see a change in the form of a win in Sunday afternoon’s game.

Yelling “Quit doing that!” isn’t going to help or inspire change. I found myself wondering how it would be different if I clapped my hands and encouraged with cheers instead of yelling general demands.

I get too caught up in justice and forget about grace, especially in parenting. That mindset poisons my words and heart and overflows on those closest to me.

As a basketball fan, genuine cheering means showing up even at the beginning of the season when the team is still finding its way. As a parent, encouraging means showing some grace and picking your battles. It’s a lesson I struggle with but one I know God will be faithful to teach. He will do more than yell at me to quit that because he’s compassionate, slow to anger, gracious, and rich in love {Psalm 145:8}.
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An InLinkz Link-up

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I'm also linking up this post with Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory and Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Three Word Wednesday} The Birth Moms

One of my favorite things about my ebook, “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” is how both my kids’ birth moms contributed their words to the story. I knew from the beginning I wanted them to share their experiences, but I wasn’t sure how they would feel about that. When they each agreed, I knew our story would go to the next level. Yes, this is my family’s story, but it’s not just our family’s story.

My book received some wonderful endorsements, but the thing I loved about author Jennifer Dukes Lee's endorsement was how she saw all the lives that become intertwined through adoption and the prayer she offered for other potential birth moms :: 

“Peace in the Process” is one woman’s unexpected journey toward motherhood, but more than that, it’s the story of anyone whose life didn’t go according to plan. Kristin Hill Taylor shares a beautiful story of how God made a family – her family – through the beauty of adoption. Reading along, I imagined all of the adoptive families who would be richly blessed by reading these words. Even more, I prayed that this book would fall into the hands of many young women who might be weighing that difficult decision about how to handle an unplanned pregnancy. This book tenderly illustrates how God writes the most beautiful stories out of our deepest heartaches. 

{I changed their names in my book, but I describe them as they really are and share their quoted words throughout. The following includes some excerpts …}
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I liked Mandy immediately and not just because she was giving Greg and me part of herself – literally.

The lunches we shared in January, February, March, and April of that year were filled with conversations about TV shows, hobbies and, yes, the forthcoming adoption. Her parents and siblings supported her decision but most everyone else in her life didn’t realize she spent her first year of college pregnant.

I’m thankful the open adoption provided another layer of support for Mandy: 

“You all quickly turned into a wonderful support system for me through this time. I was away from most of my family and friends, and I was living a secret from almost everyone who knew me. It was a rough emotional situation on me,” Mandy said about the open adoption. “Once you all expressed the want to be involved in the doctor’s appointments and delivery, I really didn’t think about it much. I was able to detach my feelings for the baby and realize I was carrying a child for you.”

A thank you note and the biggest care package never will do the trick. I can tell her time and time again I appreciated what she did and how she handled herself – not just for herself and her boyfriend, but for us and for Cate. I hope our girl has part of her determined spirit and positive attitude.

And then I can say it’s in the genes.

When Mandy, Greg, and I gathered in a booth at a Bloomington, Indiana, restaurant, this brave teenager told us how she was grateful to have a plan after half a pregnancy of wondering what she should do. Seven years later, she reflected on the beginning of this process that would change both our lives:

“When I found out I was pregnant, I was in my first year of college, recovering from my battle with cancer and finding out what a ‘normal’ life for a 19-year-old was. My parents had offered to help me take care of the baby, if that is what I wanted, but I didn't. I wanted my child to grow up in a stable environment. I didn't want her to have to ‘grow up with me.’ In a way I was being selfish because I wanted to be able to experience the true college life – turning 21 and being able to go to a bar without wondering who I would get to babysit, choosing where I wanted to go to college, and freeing myself from my parents. The more I thought about my options of parenting her versus placing her for adoption, I knew this was another struggle God put in my life to overcome. That's when I knew I was going to find the best family to take care of my baby.”

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We continued meeting Leigh for doctor’s appointments. “We” usually meant 2-year-old Cate and me. Conversations with Leigh were easy even though I know making an adoption plan was hard on her momma heart. In Greg and me, Leigh found what she wanted for this baby boy – financially secure, religious, well-rounded people, in her words. “Having you two involved in the latter part of pregnancy was very important to me and helped me with the decision of adoption,” Leigh told me as she reflected on the adoption more than four years later. “It made me feel better getting to know the two of you more and being able to accept that this was the right decision I was making.”

Leigh’s dad and stepmom as well as others in her life were supportive of her decision and kind to Greg and me when we briefly met. We also found an ally in the obstetrician, who was a family friend of ours and had taken Leigh and our unborn baby under his care. “My family and everyone in my life at that time supported me of my decision, which made the whole process much easier,” Leigh reminisced. “I was happy to have that support system.”

… Once Ben was born, the nurse took him to a neighboring room to clean him up, which was Leigh’s preference. After hugging Leigh multiple times, Greg and I followed the nurse, who carried our son. She tended to him and then we held him. This great nurse even was good with the camera and took a picture that turned out to my favorite from the day.

Even with the celebration, I knew there was heartache for Leigh:

“I grieved as any mother would do after delivery and losing her child. It was a feeling of being torn apart because even though I knew it was the right decision, it was still hard to let him go. I cried for many days and still do every now and then, but I still know it was the right thing and wouldn't change my decision for anything,” Leigh said years later. “I think that adoption is a great idea for any mother who might have reservations about having a child at a bad time in their life. I’ve never believed in abortion, and to give someone a child that might not be able to have one or that might be able to give them better opportunities in life is wonderful.”
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An InLinkz Link-up

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I'm also linking up this post with Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory and Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{Three Word Wednesday} I Get To ...

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday! If you’re joining me from Beth Stiff’s lovely place, I’m so glad you’re here. Please make yourselves at home. 

If you’re not sure what Three Word Wednesday is about, then please stay and let me tell you. Three Word Wednesday is a chance to pause in the hustle of life and hear God. Sum up what you’re hearing in three words. Those three words are enough. But I like stories, so feel free to elaborate with your words or pictures. Then link up your post below each Wednesday and visit your link-up neighbors. If you don’t blog, you’re still welcome to participate. Share in the comments below or on Facebook.

Feel free to grab the Three Word Wednesday button from my sidebar and share it at your place. 

And one more piece of business :: Ava Watkins, you’re the winner of “Bread & Wine” in Beth’s giveaway last week. We hope you love the book as much as we do.

Without further ado, I GET TO …

My kids were helping me unload the dishwasher recently when my 7-year-old daughter Cate stopped with a stack of plastic cups in her hand and said, “Didn’t we do this yesterday?”

Yes, we sure did. I reminded her that we eat multiple meals each day, thus continuing the unending cycles of loading and unloading the dishwasher. And as a family, we work together when things need to be done.

{I should have launched into how when Cate was born we didn’t even have a dishwasher. I washed all those bottles by hand. And then when she was about 8 months old, we had our kitchen remodeled, thus clearing the space for a dishwasher in our other house.}

But, yes, we unloaded the dishwasher yesterday. Because I cooked dinner yesterday too. And I did laundry who knows how many days in a row. And I drove you kids to school. And … the list could go on and on.

My girl’s question reminded me of how many chores and outings and tasks I do over and over again. Too often I take that repeating cycle for granted. I just go about our routine, sometimes even complaining about more clothes and more dishes that need washing, like the household chores own my time. But, really, shouldn’t I be thankful I have people to clothe and feed? Shouldn’t I be grateful we have machines that I can load and program to help me with my work?

That same evening – after the dishwasher was unloaded and loaded back again – I gathered in my basement with some other women for our weekly study of Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free.” At the beginning of the video session, Beth Moore said something that applied directly to Cate’s question not an hour earlier: “Don’t let familiarity cheat you of a blessing.” She was talking about how we assume we know what a scripture will speak to us because we’ve heard it so many times.

But her words applied to my heart that night in a different way.

I made a mental list of all the things I do every day that I don’t see as blessings. Dishes. Laundry. Dinner. Errands. Taking insulin. Setting my alarm. Packing my girl’s lunch. I see these things as chores and responsibilities.

But I love my life, especially the people in my house. I should go about those oh-so familiar chores and responsibilities and tasks with an attitude of “I get to …” rather than seeing them as a never-ending list of what I have to do before the day is done.

I want my attitude toward all these things that I do nearly every day to reflect how I feel about my people. I want to love my husband and kids through my housekeeping and meal planning. I want to serve and help and create and finish because I get to – and there most certainly is a blessing in that.
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I'm sharing this post in two other link-up communities I love :: Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory and Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

God orchestrates details

We loved everything about our daughter’s independent, private adoption process. We built a relationship with her birth mom in a way we wouldn’t have been able to with an agency in the middle.

On Cate’s second birthday, we started taking steps toward our dream of a second adoption and met with our social worker. And, yes, we dreamed of another independent adoption process. But we assumed we’d have to proceed with the “normal” agency adoption route. (Yes, I realize there’s actually no normal in the adoption world.)

My husband, Greg, and I both knew we had been blessed by our first adoption process and considered it a little greedy to hope it would happen again like that.

So we chose an agency in Fort Worth, Texas, and made plans to attend an orientation there a couple months later because we already had an extended family vacation planned to the Lone Star State. I filled out grant applications, gathered documents for our home study, and made an appointment to meet with our local attorney to update him on our desire to adopt again. That last matter was important because I’d already put his name on countless forms.

More evidence of life not being what I expected, our attorney called a couple days after we met with him to tell us he found us a birth mom. Well, actually, the birth mom found him and he thought of us.

I couldn’t even orchestrate this miraculous timing if I tried. And Lord knows I tried.

{Join me for the rest of the story at God-sized Dreams, where I’m sharing about God’s faithfulness.}
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That second adoption process led us to our son, Ben. I tell this story and others from my journey to motherhood in my new ebook “Peace in the Process: How God Built My Faith & My Family,” which is available on Amazon. Adoption is an everyday conversation at our house, but this month is National Adoption Awareness Month, so I’m hoping the topic finds its way into other homes and hearts.

I'm linking up this post with Beth Stiff's Three Word Wednesday, where she's sharing some news that you'll want to hear. I'm also sharing at Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory.

Want more stories? Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Be still & know

I spent most of Tuesday – Friday last week and then Monday at home with a sick kid or two. Other than my kids’ fevers, the first few days were glorious. I started binge-watching “Gilmore Girls” while I scrapbooked pictures from 2012. My kids were on their respective ends of the couch, under their own blankets, watching various shows and movies.

In those six days, I did take someone – or someones – to the pediatrician FOUR TIMES. I’m going to advocate for a frequent patient card where after ten visits we get a free allergy shot or something.

First, Ben had strep throat, but, of course, wasn’t complaining about his throat. I only took him in because he had a fever and NO energy for days. That same night, Cate started running a fever, so I called first thing the next morning to get her tested for strep. Because, really, why else would she be running a fever, right?

Wrong.

She didn’t have strep. So back home I went with two feverish kids.

Ben perked up Thursday, but Cate was still sick. That night her fever reached 103.4 even with ibuprofen in her system. So Friday morning I called the nurse. She suggested we redo the strep test that afternoon.

Still negative.

It’s not that the nurses and I hoped she had strep. We just assumed she did. Blood work revealed unnamed viral junk was causing the fever. Of course she woke up the next morning fine.

Hooray, everyone was fine on Saturday! Fine enough that Cate finished her make-up work from missing three days of school. THREE DAYS of school absences! There was a time in my life that would have been unacceptable.

But not now. I just spent more time with the Gilmore girls while my girl rested.

So we had a normal weekend at the soccer field, at the MSU football game, with friends at our church’s annual fall party …

And then Ben started coughing and speaking with a gruff, scratchy voice. He went to sleep fine Sunday night but woke up multiple times in the first couple hours crying, saying his throat hurt, and complaining that he couldn’t breathe.

Um. That seems serious. And he was still taking Amoxicillin for strep throat.

He ended up sleeping in our bed that night, which, if you know me, explains how bad he felt and how much sympathy and worry I had for him. I don’t like extra people in my bed. Even my favorite little people.

He coughed and grasped for breath all night.

So, yes, I started my Monday morning calling the pediatrician’s office. Again. 

Turn out he had croup. A dose of oral steroid, more children’s shows on Netflix, and a couple breathing treatments were what the doctor ordered this time.

When I wasn’t watching “Gilmore Girls,” I was reminded that resting is important. Our lives are so cluttered – and often with really great people and places. But we are never going to be able to do it all. Really, I’m learning that I shouldn’t really even try. Sometimes saying no to a good thing gives room for the best thing. And sometimes even extroverts need to stay home.

Dare I say he woke up Tuesday morning almost totally himself. And I rejoiced for his well-being as well as my own extroverted self who missed being out with her people. I walked and talked with one friend. And then later I texted another: I really want Qdoba for lunch. Any interest in meeting me there?

I felt my heart being filled back up again. And I knew those six days before had changed me in small ways, which when added to the other experiences and moments build on the story that’s being written.

{Turns out there's a Part 2 to this post. Read it here :: Unforced rhythms of grace.}
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I'm also sharing an introduction of myself at Beth Stiff’s blog, where she will have a fun announcement next week when Three Word Wednesday returns.

I'm linking up this post with Jennifer Dukes Lee’s #TellHisStory and Holley Gerth’s Coffee For Your Heart. 

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

God works in the wait

In celebration of “Peace in the Process,” the ebook I officially released last week, I wanted to share an excerpt. And keep reading because there’s another giveaway.

God had my season of infertility in his hands. He was working even when I doubted and wondered and tried to do it all myself. I wish I had known then that working harder isn’t always the answer. I would have rested in the promises of God and worshipped more instead of working harder.

I was ready to have a baby. My husband was beyond ready. But God said wait.

Waiting is hard, yet it is something we all do. Every day, many times a day, really.

We wait for lights to turn green. We wait for people to return calls and extend invitations. We wait for the mail to be delivered. We wait for dinner to be ready and bedtime to come. We wait for the next season and the next adventure. We wait for babies to be born, job promotions to come, sickness to pass, people to understand what we meant, the necessary finances to come.

We wait.

Waiting was a theme in God making me a momma. The waiting broke my heart, but I have since learned I didn’t approach that season the way God intended. I waited for a positive pregnancy test like I was wasting my time. I didn’t draw near to God or seek His truth in the moment.

Years after that wait, I read about Ruth waiting for Boaz to resolve the matter of caring for her and her mother-in-law, Naomi, in the proper way. In Take Refuge, a study of Ruth, authors Lara Williams and Katie Orr write about how waiting is active. “Wait” means to “bind,” which is interesting to remember while reading Isaiah 40:30-31: “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

What if while waiting to become a momma, I was binding myself to the Lord?

In “31 Days to Coming Alive,” author Jenn Hand prompted me to think about waiting again. Her words reminded me how waiting is always present and an active part of our faith journey. “… as believers, we are ultimately in the waiting. We are waiting for the fulfillment of the promise of heaven. We are in the here-and-now, created with restless pangs of longing for the promise-yet-not-experienced.”

We are sanctified and perfected in the waiting.

The light will turn green. Your phone will ring. The invitation will come. Dinner will be marinated and baked. It will be time for rest. Spring always comes. New life abounds. Healing comes. God provides exactly what you need.

I have no doubt spending an eternity with our Creator will be worth the wait, too. Until then, let’s not waste time mourning our wait. Let’s live, embracing the here-and-now, knowing waiting is an active part of life.

God works in the wait.
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Let’s keep this party going with a copy of “31 Days to Coming Alive,” a devotional by my God-sized dreaming friend Jennifer Hand. I’ve told you about the book before and quoted it in my own story. And now I want to share it, thanks to Jenn’s generosity in donating a paperback copy for one of you!

Use the Rafflecopter below for multiple entries and a winner will be selected randomly Wednesday, Oct. 29. This giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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I'm linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee for #TellHisStory and Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart. 

Want more stories? Buy "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

On publishing my favorite story

Writing has long been how I best communicate. Being in front of groups terrifies me. Even on one-on-one conversations, I sometimes fumble over my words and wonder afterward if I said too much or not enough.

When I write, I find freedom.

I surprised some people – including myself – when I walked out of the newsroom for the last time on Sept. 14, 2007. But I’ve never stopped writing. But now instead of gathering information to tell other people’s stories, I often search my own life for what God’s teaching me. It’s easy to write about my kids. They’re my favorite stories.

So that’s what I did. I wrote an ebook about how I journeyed through infertility and adoption to become a momma. It rocked my world in more than one way. And it’s the story I will tell over and over again forever because it’s where I met God in a new way.

I always wondered if I’d write a book. And now I can say I have.

Sure, it’s an ebook. But it’s still every ounce of me poured out. The pages have been edited by friends, Greg, and myself – and then again by a professional. I’ve read them over and over both on paper, on my computer screen, and in my mind.

So, without further ado, I introduce you to “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” which is available on Amazon. I pray the words bless you in whatever journey you’re on. I pray you’re encouraged by how God works while you’re waiting and he really does hear the desires of your heart.

I wrote this book. But I didn’t do it alone. In the back of the book, I thank some people. This list could have been so much longer, but I tried to limit it who had a direct influence on this particular book. Other friends are mentioned in the book itself because they’re intertwined with my story.

This is how I live life – with the people I love. Gathering around tables with them is part of our life – and you’ll see some of that in my book. And let’s do it virtually now. I’m glad you’re here.

Today is like a party – and what’s a party without gifts?! 

In honor of my book and my life, I’m giving away four copies of my new ebook and some other goodies!

• “Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table With Recipes” by Shauna Niequist :: My sweet friend Beth donated the copy “Bread & Wine” one of you will win because she encourages me well and loved the book as much as I did. It is the kind of book I’ve been recommending and thinking about long after I read the last page. I’ve made a recipe from it and hope to make others. I gave it to a friend because just a few chapters in, I knew she needed to read it.
• P-E-A-C-E Scrabble decor by Cathy Baker :: This sweet God-sized dreaming friend of mine has an Etsy shop full of goodies and she donated this for my launch party. 
• “Under God’s Umbrella: Gifts of Hope & Encouragement to Shelter Your Heart in Life Storms” by Holley Gerth :: Sweet Holley write encouragement like she’s sitting at the table with you. I chose this book because it’s the kind of encouragement I could have used in that long season of infertility that began my journey to motherhood. Holley encouraged me to tell my story and endorsed my ebook: “Kristin Hill Taylor shares an inspiring and heartwarming story of how God created her family in a way she never expected. For anyone who has adopted, considered doing so or knows someone on that journey – this book will encourage you.”
• DaySpring’s Grace Make-Up Bag from the Redeemed collection :: Straight from my closet of gifts, I thought this fit the message of God’s faithfulness to redeem the hard days and work everything together for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). {It’s like this one, but blue and brown and says “grace & peace.”}

This giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents.  Four winners will be chosen using the Rafflecopter below on Wednesday, Oct. 22. Each winner will receive a copy of “Peace in the Process” and another one of these gifts. If you’re an early reader of my book, free free to enter anyway because I can always send the winning copy of my ebook to someone you want to encourage.

And stay tuned because there are more giveaways and stories coming your way. Thanks for gathering here with me.


a Rafflecopter giveaway

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I know a few people in my life who need to know how to read Kindle books without a Kindle. Good news is doing so possible with the free Kindle app, which is available for Android and Apple devices as well as a desktop computer. More info on that here. If you still need help, let me know and I’ll help you figure out how to read my book ... and, of course, any others available on Amazon!

I'm linking up this post with Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart and Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory.

Want more stories? Buy "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built  My Faith & My Family" on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox." 

This post contains affiliate links.

Finding freedom in the wastelands

I was stressed and angry. I had lost sight of what’s important in parenting. I couldn’t see beyond minor inconveniences and infractions to regain perspective of what actually matters. I blamed others in my mind for my weariness.

And my tears and words exploded all over Greg while we drove to Nashville for a delayed anniversary overnight date. As we drove away from the soccer fields where both kids had games earlier in the day, I didn’t want to go. I was tense and mad.

But we went. I cried and screamed and confessed. He listened and suggested and reminded me of truth. He told me it was going to be a good night. Even though I was hesitant to believe him, I hoped he was right.

My life is good. My kids are smart, healthy, and funny. My marriage is better than it’s ever been. Yet I’ve been feeling angry and weary. I sort of knew why but I was struggling to process.

Greg helped me with that. He loved me despite my feelings and lack of perspective. By the time we reached our dinner destination, my heart and soul were calmer and I didn’t want to yell anymore.

At one point during dinner, Greg and I were talking about how parenting is hard, how we’re all broken, and how the two of us needed to refocus. And then he said, “You should blog about that.”

“About what?”

“This. You should blog about how parenting is hard.”

So here it is: Parenting is hard. For me, specifically, parenting my boy is hard.

I love him. I love his laugh and his sweet, kind ways. But I don’t get why he thinks peeing in trash cans right next to toilets is a good idea. I don’t get why his speech has regressed and he now sometimes puts a “th” sound in place of “s.” I don’t get why boys do what boys often do.

I’ve been caught up in controlling Ben’s behavior and not teaching his heart and mind. I’ve been angry that I feel like I’m failing him and squashing his energy and joy in the process. I’ve been frustrated I don’t know how to do this.

Greg reminded me that even while this season is hard with him that we are not failing him. Readjusting and refocusing is necessary, but we’re doing some things right.

{I've said it before: Age 4 has been my least favorite age with both my kids. Even with their different personalities, nothing has challenged me more than parenting a 4-year-old. I may change my story when they’re teenagers, but this what I know now.}

On Saturday, Greg and I ate dinner and talked. We went to Target and CVS. We sang along to NEEDTOBREATHE songs on preparation for the concert that prompted our date.

I felt free again.

And that was before the concert that was exactly why my weary soul needed. When I bought the tickets months ago, I had no idea how perfect the timing would be. I was one of 4,500 people there, but NEEDTOBREATHE had a message I needed to hear.

Last week while working through the lesson in “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore, I read Isaiah 43:19:

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

I recognized the words from NEEDTOBREATHE's newest album. But I recognized the meaning from my own life.

Looking back, God was preparing me for Saturday night. Greg and I sang along with NEEDTOBREATHE at an amphitheater surrounded by trees. The weather was cooler than usual and felt perfect. I laid down some burdens and filled my head with what I believed to be true.

Of the two videos I found online from Saturday’s concert, one was lead singer Bear Reinhart talking about what he learned about God doing a new thing in his wasteland before he and the band played the song my soul needed. {Watch here.}

And I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised God was reminding me about LIGHT. Again. It’s truly become the theme of my year. “In this wasteland where I'm living, there is a crack in the door filled with light. And it's all that I need to shine.” Those words from NEEDTOBREATHE's “Wasteland” reminded me of a post I wrote earlier this year.

This was only one song and one message. There were others. But this is what I’m holding onto today because it echoes what God has been telling me. I’m so grateful for the soul relief that came with a reminder God is indeed doing something new.
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I'm linking up with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart, Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory, and Lyli Dunbar's Thought-Provoking Thursday.

Want more stories? Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."