I Love You Just Because {review & giveaway}

“Three very different bear cubs liver together in one place,

Each chosen for these parents by God of love and grace.

And when the cubs ask why they’re loved, their parents often say,

‘We love you just because you are God’s gifts for whom we prayed.’”

“I Love You Just Because” by Donna Keith is a book about a bear family, but those opening lines reminded me of my own family. We are a family of five put together through adoption.

While I was reading the book to my 6-year-old son and then sitting by my 9-year-old girl when she read it, they each talked about which bear they are like in the story. I loved the sweet conversation about how God put us together to be a family. We talk about that regularly, but I love any book that prompts more of that.

ABOUT THE BOOK :: Through cute illustrations by Alison Edgson and rhyming text, “I Love You Just Because” will help little ones understand their parents' love for them doesn't have to be earned. With the same friendly bear family from Donna Keith's first two books — “I Love You All the Same” and “I Love You Even When” — the sweet story of this book will remind you that family members love each other ... just because.

This 20-page board book is for children 4 to 8 years old and was published by Thomas Nelson on June 7, 2016.

Learn more about this book and others on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Learn more about Donna Keith on Facebook.

GIVEAWAY :: One of you can win your own copy of “I Love You Just Because,” thanks to FlyBy Promotions. This giveaway is open through Sunday, Aug. 7 to U.S. and Canadian residents. Use the Rafflecopter widget for multiple ways to enter.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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My kids have a copy of this cute book that we reviewed and there’s a copy for one of you, thanks to FlyBy Promotions/Propeller Consulting. I received this book in exchange for a review, but these thoughts are our own.

Supporting Foster Families {and looking after orphans}

Most people know I became a mom through adoption – three times. I’ve shared that a couple hard years of infertility is how God led Greg and I to adoption. We had no idea what we were getting into, but once we were there, we knew that’s where we were supposed to be.

Adoption wasn’t our Plan B, but infertility was the heartache God used to get our attention. Obviously, not everyone is called to adoption. But God does call his followers to care for the fatherless and orphans.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

–James 1:27

Sometimes caring for orphans does mean growing your family through adoption or foster care, but many times it looks like helping families who are walking through these processes, participating in programs that help feed and clothe orphans, or supporting businesses that give to orphan care.

Through the ministry to adoptive mommas God built up around me, I’ve gotten to learn much about fostering recently. I have friends who have foster babies in their homes right now. I know others who are getting certified so they can serve this way.

I’ve been thinking about how when we – as believers – claim to be pro-life, we have to do more than protest abortion. We don’t have to adopt or foster, but we do have to serve children who need love and moms who are choosing life. And some of those children and mommas are wrapped up in the foster system.

May is National Foster Care Month. So I wanted to share some ways you – wherever you are, whether you’re married or single, regardless of how big your family is – can serve families who are choosing to foster. {Tweet that.}

Show up with a meal. Any time a regular routine is interrupted – even with something happy like new life – it’s hard to get to the grocery, plan meals, and prepare meals. And whatever you bring doesn’t have to be gourmet. Go to the local BBQ restaurant and get enough meat and sides to provide a few meals to the family adjusting to its new normal. Have a pizza delivered to them. Double whatever you’re making for your own family.

Offer specific help. Think about this family’s life and offer to do something specific – go to the grocery, do laundry, sit with the baby so momma can shower, or mow the lawn. Texts that say “Let me know what I can do” are well-intentioned, but saying “I’m at the grocery store, what I can I get you?” are more practical.

Provide care for other children. With the foster system come many appointments (pediatrician checkups, visitation with bio family, etc.) the family doesn’t have much control over. If you know a family who is fostering a little one, offer to help with any older kids in the home.

Be on call to get supplies. Foster situations often happen with little time to spare. If you know someone who suddenly has a new child in the home, offer to run to Walmart to get diapers, formula, clothes, activities, or whatever else that child may need. Children often come into foster homes with almost nothing.

Let parents give gifts. Foster children have a lot of people in and out of their lives. So, if you have something special to give a child, let the parents do that for bonding purposes. Depending on your relationship with the family, you may get a chance to bond with the child too, but give that time.

Understand you may not understand. Even if you weren’t called to foster, your friend was. Be a listening ear and be there for whatever practical support is necessary, but don’t judge the way she’s bonding with a child that may not be in her home forever. This child needs love – and with that comes attachment. Yes, it’s hard. But God doesn’t promise he’ll call us only to easy things. He calls us to sanctify us – and that usually means doing something hard. In fostering, there’s the emotional challenges as well as the complications that come with a flawed system and its logistically issues.

If you do some of these things I shared – or other things that make sense for the people in your life – then you’re serving orphans because your friends need you while they’re in the trenches. And my guess is you’ll get a whole new perspective that draws you nearer to God.
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Thanks for your grace last week when I had a schedule snafu that threw off the post I thought I had prepared for #ThreeWordWednesday. Life happens sometimes. I'm glad to be back this week! And I've got several giveaways opens, if you're want to join me there too: "The League and The Lantern" book for tweens. Jeremy Camp CDs. The new "ESV Family Devotional Bible."

An InLinkz Link-up

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Celebrating other women {who made me a mom}

Mother’s Day was especially hard one year, right there in the midst of my own hard, emotional infertility season. And then God led us to adoption and I became a mom one week before Mother’s Day 2007.

That’s how dreams are sometimes – they seem so far out of reach and then they happen in an instant and we realize the timing is perfect. Of course, when I was waiting to be called “Momma,” I didn’t think the timing was very perfect!

But hindsight offers perspective.

Truth is, I wouldn’t be a mom if it weren’t for other women who chose life for their babies and then chose me to be their mom. Dreams have a way of humbling us and pointing us back to the Creator of it all. {Tweet that.}

Three times, I became a mom because of adoption. Sure, infertility led us there, but since the day we stopped trying to conceive a baby, I’ve had no doubts this was God’s plan for our family.

Adoption is relational to its core. Always rooted in grief, adoption is a redemption process that builds families and connects people beyond the walls of one home. The earthly process of bringing a child home this way mirrors the spiritual adoption of God choosing us for an inheritance we share with Christ. It’s kingdom work that sanctifies.

{Join me at God-sized Dreams for the rest.}
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Looking for Lovely

Somebody told me recently that Greg and I make beautiful babies. Well, actually we don't. For various reasons, we haven’t actually made babies. But we do know our kids are beautiful and love their birth moms for that and so, so many other reasons.

But it doesn't stop there with their outward appearances. Because these women chose life, Greg and I get the opportunity to make these babies into people – beautiful people. God willing, these babies who were all born with dark hair and easy smiles will grow up to be lovely from the inside out.

Adoption always begins with a darkness only God can redeem. Adoption is rooted in grief and loss and poverty and brokenness. But God brings light and purpose and fullness and joy to situations only he can make new.

“The pain of broken families and broken hearts sometimes is deeper than words can describe. But there is beauty in choosing to feel that pain, in calling hurt what it is, and not pretending everything is okay. Whatever tragedy you have experienced or are currently living through, the most beautiful thing you can do is LIVE. Keep walking, keep weeping, keep eating. Don’t ignore the hurt. Don’t attempt to avoid it and just move on with your life. Feel it all, and invite people in to feel it with you.”

{Annie Downs in “Looking for Lovely”}

When I read this, I thought about the adoption group I host on Facebook, where we share resources and prayers and praises. I remembered where I’d been and what God has done with that brokenness. And I offered thanksgiving – yet again – for my kids’ birth moms who made brave decisions in the midst of messy circumstances.

I can’t think of anything more lovely.

That’s why holding my sleeping babies in church has always been holy for me. It’s so ordinary, yet it’s proof God hears the desires of our hearts and calls us for a specific purpose. A sleeping baby who is at home nestled in the crook of my arm is evidence that God brought light to the darkness.

I held Rachel this past Sunday and remembered when coming to church was hard a decade ago because people kept announcing pregnancies and I was ready to do the same. I remembered how Cate was born on a Sunday, Ben on a Monday, and then Rachel in a Saturday. Announcing their births was nothing short of miraculous. They’re all proof God redeems and makes new, that he makes beauty from ashes.

Church is different now than it was a decade ago. Cate has claimed Christ has her savior. Ben is wiggly but learning to read the words on the slides during worship. And Rachel sleeps. They all belong and I have no doubt Greg and I were chosen to be their parents.

I can't think of anything more holy than that.
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Annie Downs’ new book – “Looking for Lovely: Collecting the Moments that Matter” – released yesterday. It has nothing to do with adoption but everything to do with finding God in the midst of pain and sadness and brokenness.

In the book, she tell stories of her everyday life – sitting around the tables with friends, running from pain, and discovering hope despite loss. She offers glimpses into where she finds lovely. I don’t love sushi or have my spots in Nashville like she does, but I have found ordinary loveliness in my own life.

The cover of this book is warped because I carried it with me for a few days and found lovely in it while I found lovely looking up from the pages to see my oldest daughter riding a horse, my son learning to ride a bicycle, and my baby girl figuring out how to crawl.

“Looking for Lovely” is a reminder that when we have Jesus, we can find loveliness in everything else. {Tweet that.}
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ABOUT THE BOOK :: 208 pages. Published by B&H Books (April 5, 2016).

ABOUT THE AUTHOR :: Annie F. Downs is an author, speaker, and blogger based in Nashville. Flawed but funny, she uses her writing to highlight the everyday goodness of a real and present God. While she loves writing — books, blogs, articles, thank you notes — Annie also enjoys traveling around the world speaking to young women, college students, and adults. Annie is a huge fan of bands with banjos, glitter, her community of friends, boiled peanuts, and football games. Read more at anniefdowns.com and follow her on Twitter.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I received a free copy of “Looking for Lovely” from Icon Media Group in exchange for an honest review.

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Limit {a Five Minute Friday post}

I saw this week's Five Minute Friday prompt last night and had absolutely no thoughts about what I would write. When I came back to it this morning, I still wasn't sure what I was going to write, but I started the timer anyway. 

LIMIT. Five minutes. Just write. And then link up with Kate Motaung and her crew.

Ready, set, go ...  

For far too long I’ve limited God with the box in which I’ve housed him. I made plans and wondered why God was interrupting them. I set expectations that wouldn’t bend with life’s changes.

And then I learned that’s no way to live.

I mean, I learned it in my head. I still work on learning in my heart.

But I know limiting God is pointless. I know when I stopped pursuing adoption the third time and started seeking the One who makes families, he heard my desire and fulfilled it in his time – which was years after when I thought it was best. But I would have missed other people and places He’d called me to if I had a baby a few years ago. And that’s just what I know about through my limited view of the world.

God’s got a wide view and somehow manages to see it all – from then to now to what is to come.

An old friend found me on Facebook today and when we were messaging about our lives I told my life looks nothing like I expected but I love it anyway. The life I had planned surely would have limited God. Here I am, aware of my human ways, but wanting the Limitless One to take over. I want to hold on to Him tightly and everything – even my marriage and kids – loosely so I don’t limit what God wants to do in us and through us.

And stop.
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Five Things I Learned in January

January and I have a history. 

It's the month I decided to follow Jesus two decades ago, we met Cate's birth mom nine years ago, Greg proposed 14 years ago, Ben's adoption was finalized six years ago, and I was diagnosed with diabetes 12 years ago. In 2012, it was January when decided to adopt a third time, and while we waited more than three years for that to happen, I remember the day God freed me from those fears. Last January, we decided to go on a mission trip to Guatemala, a trip that's still rocking my world.

So, yeah, January. 

Honestly, this January hasn't had big moments. Rather it's been the kind of month where I've felt settled with where I am and who I am. I see God working in the everyday moments. I get teary thinking about all that God has done for us, in Januarys and all the other months of our lives.

In no particular order, here some things I've learned this month ... 

1. Snow days are the best.

Okay, so, really, I'm a summer girl. But if we're going to do winter, let's have some snow days! And then when the snow days are over, let the sun come out and the snow melt. Clearly, I'm an all-or-nothing girl too.

And, yes, I've had snow days before, but we had a couple in one week (the same week the kids already had that Monday off in honor of Martin Luther King Jr.) and having everybody home FOR TWO DAYS PLUS THE WEEKEND was so great.

One snow day was a Wednesday, and then the roads were fine enough for a delayed-start school on Thursday, which worked out well because I needed to go to the grocery. And then more snow came so the kids were off school again Friday. Hello, long weekend! And Greg stayed home Wednesday and Friday too, which is a definite perks of owning his own business.

We played games, ate warm foods, drank hot chocolate, made snow cream, and hung out with neighbor friends. One day our best friends were even here for eight hours. We managed to play five games of various versions of Settlers of Catan while the kids enjoyed each other's company.

The whole third week of January was a sweet balance of each of doing our own things and hanging out together as a family.

2. Swiss Miss Simply Cocoa (Milk Chocolate) is the best packaged hot coca.

I don't drink hot drinks. Not coffee. Not tea. And I used to only want real hot chocolate, like the kind my mother-in-law makes or the kind that comes from a coffee shop. But I bought this on a whim in January. And we liked it so much I bought it again. And, well, those snow days I mentioned gave us ample opportunity to heat some milk to mix with these packets.

3. Strep throat can still happen even when someone doesn't have tonsils. 

Ben, who is 6 years old, and strep throat are not strangers. Since he was 11 months old, he's had it 16 times. But only two of those have been since his tonsils and adenoids were removed nine months ago. So, basically, we've had a good stretch lately.

Ironically, Ben was at the allergist the day before his latest strep diagnosis and the nurse practitioner even looked in his throat, which was red and irritated by the time the pediatrician looked at it. Within hours of leaving the allergist, Ben started running a fever. The pediatrician did say the way the winter weather has been back and forth around here is hard on kids with allergies.

4. Technology makes managing a chronic condition more efficient and fun. 

Medtronic Diabetes has the best customer service of any company I've ever used for anything. When I called to order some glucose sensors (a little piece of technology that is inserts near where my pump is inserted and monitors my blood sugar levels) and the lady told me I could get a free Connect , which is a small Bluetooth device that lets my pump and sensor communicate send data to an app on my phone.

{Read more here about my diabetes diagnosis 12 years ago and what living with a pancreas that doesn't produce insulin in like.}

5. Those DVR shows will have to wait. 

Greg and I started watching "The West Wing" when all our regular shows took a holiday break. Now there are multiple episodes of "Madam Secretary," "Blue Bloods," and "The Blacklist" on the DVR just waiting for us. We can't stop watching Josiah Bartlet and company.

{Speaking of President Bartlet, why is Jed a nickname for Josiah?}
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I'm linking up with Emily Freeman, like I do at the end of every month. 

{2013} June. July. August. September. October. November. 

{2014} January. February. March. April. May. June. 

July. August. September. October. November. December. 
{2015} January. February. March. April. May. June. 
July. August. September. October. November. December

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

We are five, officially.

We are five, officially.

Adoption is a funny process. You spend all this time waiting and then gathering paperwork and then usually waiting some more. And then you bring a child into your home, go about everyday life, and then months later (usually, although where you live determines how many months ...) the adoption is actually finalized.

Our adoption finalization hearing yesterday was less than 10 minutes long and that involved a quick photo shoot with the judge and attorney. That’s a quick end to what has been a much longer process.

If you’ve been around here long, you know our story. Basically, we've wanted to adopt for a third time since the beginning of 2012, but we just couldn’t make it work.

Did you catch that? WE COULDN’T MAKE IT WORK. Well, of course we couldn’t. But we tried anyway, for two years. We met with agencies and updated our home study multiple times. We had hope and then it would be dashed for reasons beyond our control.

And then we stopped pursing adoption. (Read: We stopped trying to make it work.)

We lived our life. We converted the nursery into a guest room.

Then God surprised us and he made this happen, rather quickly too. The basic timeline for Rachel’s adoption looks like this:

May 2015 – We met Rachel’s birth mom, Stacy, through a local friend.

June 15, 2015 – We met with our social worker for our home visit as part of the home study, for which I’d already gathered many papers and documents.

Summer 2015 – I took Stacy to prenatal apportionments and readied our house for a newborn. (Goodbye, guest room! But no worries out-of-town friends, we have sleeping options so still come visit us!)

Sept. 19, 2015 – Rachel was born.

Oct. 23, 2015 – Social worker came back for a post-placement visit.

Dec. 10, 2015 – The adoption was finalized.

To God be the glory for making us a family. This isn’t the story I expected, but it’s better than I could have written.
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And just for fun ... you can look back on Ben's adoption finalization from 2010 and Cate's from 2007. God worked it out so the same attorney and judge were involved each time. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Trust without borders

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior”

{From “Oceans” by Hillsong UNITED}

We sang this song in church on Sunday and I can’t get the phrase “trust without borders” out of my head. Admittedly, I used to turn the station when this song came on the radio. Its popularity got on my nerves. But then our worship leader at church sang it and I heard it in a fresh way.

I love when God does that. I love knowing he can take words we’ve heard hundreds of times before and make them fall fresh on our lives.

Trust without borders.

That’s what I want – in all areas of my life.

Specifically, I’ve been thinking about my relationship with Rachel’s birth mom. Like our others before, the adoption process was open. But the post-birth interaction with Stacy has been different than our other experiences. It’s not what I expected but I believe it’s exactly what God knows is needed. My emotions about the grief intertwined with joy in adoption spill over easily this time. I want to mother my baby’s birth mom. I want to help her find a job. I want to buy her groceries.

But I know at this point that’s not what I’m supposed to do. For months, I didn’t know what that meant for our relationship. Then she reached out to me via text. She confided in me and trusted me the details of her life. We got together for about an hour at a local coffee shop before Thanksgiving and have texted again since. Our latest text conversations stirred my emotions again – for her, for the birth dad, and for this sweet little life that bonds us.

I realize God is answering the prayers I prayed for Stacy. Giving her money or groceries or ride somewhere is easy compared to navigating an actual relationship. I’m open to having a relationship with her even though I have absolutely no idea what that will look like.

I believe this is where God is calling me, so I need to go there. {Tweet that.}

And I can only go there with God. My human self wants a plan and details for the future. But when I trust the One who orchestrated this relationship, my faith becomes stronger and deeper – and going into the unknown becomes possible.

As we sang in church on Sunday, I realized I too often try to tie my faith up in a box with a pretty bow. My relationship with Stacy is just one example. I’ve been there, hesitating, in a million other ways in marriage, motherhood, my daily life, our mission trip to Guatemala this past summer, and so many moments between.

Faith isn’t always tidy. {Tweet that.} Sometimes it spills all over the place, bringing us to God in a new way. Our faith takes us places that are messy, but God goes with us, bringing beauty from those ashes.
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

My Thanksgiving Baby

Ben’s birth story is an excerpt from “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” which is available on Amazon and tells about the hard season of infertility that led to two adoption processes and the days since. And, more recently, we’ve welcomed a third child into our family and are in the process of adopting Rachel, who was born in September 2015. In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, “Peace in the Process” is on sale for 99 cents through Nov. 24.

On Saturday, November 21, 2009, my sister-in-law Angela asked me what my perfect timing would be for Ben to be born. Leigh, my son’s birth mom, had been on bed rest because he’d threatened to come early, so we were glad he was still inside growing at 38-plus weeks. I answered Angela’s question honestly: Sunday or Monday.

Well, Monday started with me going with Leigh to a check-up appointment. We learned she was 5-6 centimeters dilated. Given that she had initially dilated two months earlier, we were happy to be just eight days from his due date. Our doctor friend was confident he’d deliver our son soon and wanted Leigh to get ready for delivery.

Turns out, he was right.

After Leigh and I made necessary arrangements, we met at the hospital a little later that day.

Benjamin Lucas was born November 23, 2009, three blocks from our house. His sister, who was almost 31 months old, was thrilled to welcome him into our family. Once again God knew the desires of our heart and fulfilled them in his time. He showed us his faithfulness in such a tangible way. This time it came into the world at 2:56 p.m. the Monday before Thanksgiving, weighing 7 pound 10 ounces and with a head full of dark hair. ...

Six years ago, Ben’s first outing was on Thanksgiving to my in-law’s house, where the turkey was 2.75 times my boy’s weight. After being unsure if I would become a momma, having a second child in a way only God could orchestrate makes me especially thankful. He’ll forever be my Thanksgiving baby – which is quite appropriate, really.

Join me today at Circles of Faith, where I’m sharing the rest of this excerpt about my Thanksgiving baby. 
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

a beautiful exchange {guest post & giveaway}

One of my favorite things about the internet is connecting with people who share interests. And y'all know adoption is a favorite topic around here. Megan Nilsen sent me a copy of her book, which is an adoption story, but, really, it's a story of saying yes to God. I've enjoyed reading it — often with my own latest adoption story in my arms. 

I'm excited to welcome Megan to my online home so she can share a piece of her story. And stay with us until the end because she's going to share her book with TWO OF YOU! 

Before starting the adoption process, we decided to interview families we knew who had adopted.

Perhaps many of you did the same. After all, we figured these families had walked the road already and may have some wisdom to share. Boy did they! Adoptive families are some of the absolute coolest.

Nearly without fail, every conversation we had could be boiled down to one main theme. Time and again we heard these words ...

“Adoption is the hardest thing we’ve ever done, but it’s absolutely the best.”

And each time, I would walk away from the conversation or hang up the phone and think, “Really? Is that what we want? Hard?? I mean, we totally want to follow God’s call ... Yes, we want the best! But do we really want the possible hard that comes with it? It all seems so — risky.”

For a long time, the idea remained just that. An idea.

The notion of adoption comfortably took a back seat as the daily regimen of school choir concerts, dance recitals and soccer games filled our days with our older two. The idea sifted through my mind every so often like sand in an hourglass. My mental to-do/prayer list (they often overlap) read as follows:

* Don’t forget to buy milk.
* Figure out the name of that cool paint color from the Pottery Barn catalog.
* Please be with Uncle So-and-So who is battling cancer.
* Email the teacher to ask about the field trip tomorrow.
* Also, God — if you’re calling us to adopt, just remember our hearts are “open.” And if
you do want us to adopt, could you please write it in the sky or something? That
would be helpful. Thanks.

God didn’t exactly write it in the sky, but he wrote the call on our hearts. As they days ticked by, we couldn’t get the drum beat of these thoughts out of our head. Like a catchy lyric turning over and over in my mind, this idea of adoption, that it might possibly be for us, kept knocking at the door of our hearts and wouldn’t abate.

Four years have passed now since we brought our two youngest home from Ethiopia at the tender ages of eight and five. And I am among the ranks of those saying those exact words to others — Adoption has been by far the hardest thing, but it unequivocally the best.

Lest you be deceived into thinking this story had a fairy-tale ending, I can assure you the transition home was nothing short of “other-worldly” for the lot of us. Grief loomed large over our home for quite a while, manifesting in all sorts of tantrums and tears. And not only from the kids! I must confess, my own heart wrestled to embrace the new family dynamics as well.

In the months that followed, I began a journey of my own — a journey that has rearranged everything I thought I knew about life and love. So much so, I often wondered if life would ever return to “normal.”

Thankfully, God exchanged my short-sighted plan for a new, exponentially more beautiful normal — one drafted by His own hand.

Sometimes I imagine attachment in adoption like a tree. A tree that needs time and tender care to sprout and grow. A tree that brings with it the gift of new life. This “adoption” tree has ushered me into perspectives of the Kingdom I don’t think I would have experienced otherwise. The fruit it bears brings us more joy, growth and continuous beauty than we ever dreamed possible.

God’s tender love and mercy drew us to this tree. To eat of its fruit opens our eyes to a bit of heaven on earth. While this journey of adoption has brought me to the end of myself, it has also ushered me to the foot of the cross.

That is a gift for which I am forever grateful. It truly is, a beautiful exchange!
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Megan Nilsen is the mother of four children — two biological, two adopted, and by all accounts the most beautiful kids in the world (at least according to their unbiased mother). She is married to her college sweetheart. Together, they believe the local church is the hope of the world. When she’s not coordinating crazy carpool schedules, she rejuvenates as part of the teaching team for her church’s weekly Bible study. Megan passionately pursues writing as a way to process God’s ever-active work in the world. She gets the biggest rush out of connecting with people and swapping stories of the heart. She and her family live in Colorado. You can find her blogging about it all with two of her dearest friends at www.writinginpencil.com.
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And now for the giveaway! Use the Rafflecopter widget below for multiple ways to enter to win one of the two copies of "A Beautiful Exchange." The giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents. Two winners will be randomly selected on Wednesday, Nov. 25.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Count it ALL joy {even while waiting & in trials}

Kayla Slack and I met at an adoptive moms retreat Hope That Binds hosted earlier this year. I understood her story because I’d been there too. We connected that day and have gotten together several times since. We talk adoption often and I’ve been so excited to pray for and be a small part of her journey to motherhood. 

She’s sharing about waiting and choosing joy in her post today, but I have to let you know in on a God moment. On Oct. 26, the day she wrote this post, Kayla and her husband, Casey, were matched with a birth mom. THE SAME DAY. After she emailed me this post about waiting and choosing joy, God revealed some of his plan for her family. The texts that followed included many exclamation points, but the basic news is Kayla and Casey Slack are going to welcome a baby boy into their family in February. 

While celebrating with them, continue to pray for them and the brave birth mom in Texas as they all navigate the emotions and process that is adoption. Coming alongside families like the Slacks is just one way you can celebrate National Adoption Awareness Month. 

We were led to adoption this time about a year ago because of our struggle with infertility. We both had always known we would adopt, but we figured it would be later on down the road. I was on fertility medicine that literally made me go crazy, so we felt led to stop pursuing fertility treatment at that time.

I wanted to pursue adoption as soon as we made the choice to start … like right then, that same day. I tend to set a timeline, make plans, work hard to see that it happens and have control over it, and then I am crazy upset when it fails. This was October 2014 and we decided to wait until January 2015 to begin our process. We printed applications, met with others who were adopting or had adopted to gather info, and prayed.

In attempt to control the timing I got more upset because my timeline was not working out. In January, God led my heart to wait until March and I obeyed but felt like that was years away! March came, and guess what? We waited a little more. I felt like God said to wait six more months. I counted up six months and thought, "Oh, September? Nah, God does not want me to wait until then. August. August sounds better."

Coming closer to that time, we got our documents gathered and had our home study visit. Guess what? We became active in SEPTEMBER with Faithful Adoption Consultants. Praise the Lord that His will and his plans are higher and better and they always work out no matter how hard we attempt to make ours work.

This waiting process has been so hard but so amazing. I am learning there is always purpose in waiting. The sanctification that comes along in waiting for something your heart longs for is tremendous. Praise God he does not leave us where we are! He draws us so close to Him and makes us more like Him!

Many of you know the infertility struggle well. The heart aching, longing, crying, begging, screaming, bitterness, and jealousy you have to fight through to find happy words and a smile when others get what you beg the Lord for constantly. It was one of the hardest times of my life. I wanted to be kind, sweet, and joyful for others.

Waiting for me in our adoption process has been hard, yet beautiful. I am supposed to count it all joy when trials come (James 1:2). I am to rejoice. I have been begging God to be excited and so happy first when someone gets something I want because it is a time to celebrate! I am also learning that it is okay to be sad. I used to think that it was wrong if I was sad and happy at the same time. I am learning to choose those joyful feelings over the sad ones, but I know now that I am going to feel those together sometimes.

God is showing me that He is my true treasure. I do not know why I tend to forget this so much! He is what I long for. If I get nothing else in this life, I should be content with the Lord alone. He is really all I need. He is my peace. And even in my toughest and darkest days He will give me peace. I don't think I ever really understood hope either until I have waited for a baby. Some days I have cried so hard and told my husband I feel like I have no hope and that this is never going to happen. (For those of you who do not know me, I am VERY emotional and my emotions are strong!)

I am learning to look past those feelings and know truth despite what I am feeling. We really do have hope. All of us do. My husband keeps telling me, "Babe, it is okay. We are going to get a baby." But you know what? Even if we don't get a baby, it is okay too because we have hope. Our hope is in the Lord. My hope is not in growing our family although sometimes I have allowed it to be.

I praise God because he has made my heart to find joy in life being created, even if that life was not meant to live with me. And, yeah, waiting is hard, but I know the longer I wait the more the Lord is going to teach me and the more I am going to be like Him. So I will wait – and I will be joyful, and sad sometimes. I will continue to cry because that is what I do, but I will also hold onto hope.
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Kayla Slack has been married for almost three years and has longed to share parenthood with her husband Casey. She's a registered nurse, lover of animals and babies, friend to the elderly, and one of three girls (including her twin sister!). She lives in Murray, KY. 
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

{God-sized Dreams} Thankfulness for the hard days

More than two years ago, we were in what we thought would be our family’s third adoption process. But I hesitate to call it a process because we weren’t getting anywhere and hadn't been for quite some time. We met closed doors even though we believed we were pursuing God’s will for our family.

We ended up laying down our desires because my husband Greg and I each had peace that was right – at least until God told us otherwise. ...

So we let go.

And we lived.

And then about 18 months later, God surprised us. He renewed the desire to adopt in a fresh way. He guided conversations between Greg and I. We asked for prayer because we believed God was moving in a new way. ...

Thankfully, the hard days were a just season. {Tweet that.}

Isaiah 43:19 offers so much hope when the days are dreary:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

I’m thankful God was working in my life even when that season didn’t look like I envisioned. I’m thankful God made himself known even when we made the hard decision to stop pursuing adoption. I’m thankful he once again knew the desire of my heart and made is a reality in his time – which was better than my time anyway. And I’m thankful God didn’t leave me stranded in the wasteland.

Join me at God-sized Dreams to continue reading this post.
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Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Place to Stand {a #ThreeWordWednesday post}

Blogging and building a platform often go hand in hand. Sometimes success is judged on the numbers, like the amount of likes and shares of how many times a post was viewed.

But God is showing me how having a platform isn’t about attracting the masses, but rather it’s about standing on his promises in whatever he’s called me to do.

My platform may be small and local. It probably looks nothing like yours. And that’s okay. In fact, that’s how it’s supposed to be. We each have our part to play, our place to stand. That’s how God is best made known anyway.

I’ve seen pictures of writer friends at conferences. I’ve been invited to gather with like-minded people who write for a contributors’ site in which I’m involved. I’ve hoped to meet people from the Internet in real life or visit the ones I’ve already met.

But God keeps telling me to stay.

He’s showed me where I’m supposed to be. And, yes, I like it here, even though this was never my plan. Here is where my husband and I are together. Here is with my three kids. Here is with my local church, my kids’ school, and friends who are like family. Here is with an adoption community I believe God has called me to help lead.

I like to travel. I like connecting with people I already love. And I like conferences. But sometimes saying no to good things opens the door for God to do great things. {Tweet that.}

And that’s what I want, so I’m saying yes to what God has made clear is my place to be.

For this season in my life, here is my platform. Yes, it looks more like a messy kitchen and chaotic mini van than a stage with pretty lights. My husband and children are my neighbors. My conversations with other adoptive mommas happen on Facebook, in texts, around tables. My service happens in my local community and my kids’ school hallways.

These are the yeses I have no doubts about. And right here is the kind of platform I’m ready to stand on.
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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Love had a plan for us

“When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

and how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,

oh, how He loves us,

how He loves us all.”

{Listen here}

We were singing that song in church and I was holding my sleeping Rachel. Cate was on my right side and Ben was not too far down on my left next to Gran-Gran. Greg sat on the other side of Cate. There I was, in the middle of a row of chairs at church in the middle of the family God created.

Our college friend Amber had been sitting in our row too, but by this moment she had already gone to take of the nursery kids. Behind me sat a couple who has loved my family so well and taught me about how the Bible applies to real life; my best friend and her family with whom so much of my life is intertwined; and other dear friends who have been part of my everyday life the past six years in a way that has changed me for the better. This is community.

Tears welled in my eyes because God did this for me. He gave me these people and orchestrated a story of family that extends beyond my house. This journey has looked nothing like I planned when I stopped taking birth control in December 2004.

Cate’s adoption and then Ben’s adoption followed a hard season of infertility. {Here’s a summary.} And then there was a hard adoption season we didn’t expect. We waited for this third child, not knowing if she was going to come. We believed we were supposed to have a third child but we had met so many closed doors I doubted I was hearing God right.

I heard other people’s stories of heartache as they waited to conceive or adopt. I have waited and was waiting, but I wondered if I was being greedy. I regularly wondered: Was it wrong to desire a third child whom I believed God said he would give when I knew so many other women waiting to become a mom for the first time?

I wrestled with it. But I’ve settled on this: God knows what he’s doing and it’s not my job to control the outcome. {Tweet that.} He gave us our third child, in surprise fashion but in accordance with his faithfulness. And that same God is working in my friends’ lives as they wait and learn and trust and believe.

Love had a plan for us and God has one for you too. {Tweet that.}

All of that got us here. Oh how he loves us. He loved us during the hard days and loves us still when we see some of the plan. Rachel is perfect in our family. She belongs here, just like I belong smack dab in the middle of my people.
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In that picture above, our shirts say "Love had a plan for me," which is a line from my favorite Slugs & Bugs' song. Randall Goodgame recently brought Slugs & Bugs back to the Murray area. Hope That Binds hosted the concert as a fundraiser and, y'all, what a joy to have two of my favorite ministries together in one place celebrating families, adoption and the gospel. {You can see all my pictures from the event here.}

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Rejoice, mourn, show up for #ThreeWordWednesday

Adoption creates a community like no other. I’ve talked before about how my relationships with birth moms are unlike any other relationships I’ve experienced – and more specifically what that looked like this time. And then, hopefully, there is the larger community that comes alongside and embraces the process.

Since Rachel was born Sept. 19, people have showed up at our house, on Facebook, at the bus stop, and in the mail box with kind words, gifts and meals. They’ve wanted to hold Rachel and hear more of our story – how we are doing, how the hospital stay was, what Rachel is like, how Cate and Ben are adjusting.

They have embraced us as a family of five and the process of adoption. They have offered prayers for Rachel’s birth mom, understanding our celebration is just one side of the story.

I’m reminded about when my father-in-law Gary unexpectedly died in April 2010 and our people took care of us. Yes, we were surprised by his death, but we were also pleasantly surprised by how people held us together. Talk about bittersweet.

Greg and I have always believed in doing life with our friends, but those days leading up to the funeral and the ones after, people showed up with their words, meals, help and love.

Birth and death really do rally a community and remind me of Romans 12:15 :: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

And now, as I sit here with a newborn baby, I’m reminded about how we shouldn’t limit our showing up to birth and death. {Tweet that.} We should show up on the hard days that don’t make sense, the confusing ones that we can’t solve, the happy ones that leave our belly hurting from all the laughter – and all of the days between.
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Speaking of adoption and community, I’ve started an adoption community online. It’s a private Facebook group, where those of us who have adopted or are in the process of doing so gather together to share resources, prayer requests, and adoption happenings.

I’ve long prayed God would use our story to encourage other families and it’s exciting to see that happening. If you or someone you know could benefit from such an adoption group, let me know and I’ll be happy to send an invite to you.
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An InLinkz Link-up

I'm linking up with the weekly Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood Gathering. 

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Mom of Three {an adoption post for #ThreeWordWednesday}

I used to think I wanted my kids close in age, but I realized a long time ago I’m in control of the timing and growth of our family. In fact, I had to lay down my desire to adopt a third time because I wasn’t sure it was going to happen and I struggled to separate what I wanted from what God was calling us to do.

{I talk about learning about waiting on God and laying down that desire in my ebook, “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” which is available on Amazon and needs to be updated now that God grew our family again. But through Friday, Oct. 2, "Peace in the Process" is on sale for 99 cents, if you want the full back story of how we got here and what God taught me along the way. And feel free to tweet about the deal.}

But guess what? God’s timing has been perfect ... of course!

I have an 8-year-old girl who is in third grade and a kindergartner boy who turns 6 in less than two months. And, let me tell you, they adore their baby sister. They literally have argued over who is going to hold her or sit next to her in the van. (We currently have a week-to-week rotation of who is in the middle of the minivan next to Rachel and who has to settle for the back seat.)

Cate is a feeding champion – and I’m working on convincing her that she would excel at changing diapers too. Ben likes to be near her and has found his way downstairs into her room a few times in the middle of the night when he hears her crying for her next bottle. This boy was meant to be a middle child. With the initials BLT, he’s perfectly sandwiched between two girls.

For this momma of three, having two in school and a baby at home is a whole different world than last time I had a baby – and a toddler who was 2 1/2. Sure, Rachel and I have had some slow days at home settling in together, but our lives have continued with Greg working and the big kids playing soccer. Beyond logistics, God has me prepared to be a mom again. My perspective is different and I’m more confident. I bring more than eight years of motherhood experiences with me. I know more about what matters and what doesn’t.

Before Rachel was born, I was ready – not ready like my house was perfect and my life completely under control, but ready like my heart knew what God had done. I was in place I could truly rejoice in his faithfulness.

The hardest part (so far) of being a mom of three is the waking up in the middle of the night. Y’all, we’ve been sleeping (mostly) through the night for many years. But knowing God prepared us and designed this for us in his time makes me appreciate the middle-of-the-night snuggles with my girl more than I did with the other two as newborns.

(Don’t let me totally fool you though, I will rejoice when she sleeps through the night too.)

I’m grateful to be a mom of three for many reasons, but I’m especially because I believe this is what God planned for me. {Tweet that.} Yes, I had doubts this third time would happen, and I was going to be okay with that because my life already overflowed with blessings. But I’m grateful I indeed heard God right years ago about the third child, even if my timing was totally out of sync with God’s.
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I shared other parts of Rachel's adoption story here ...

We're adopting again!

Generosity in adoption

Team Taylor welcomes Rachel!

Opening up about open adoption

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An InLinkz Link-up

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."

Six Things I Learned in September

If you follow me at all on social media or we hang out in real life, then you probably know Team Taylor became five this month. How's it going you may want to ask? The simple answer: It's going well. Rachel fits in our family. God continues to show us how he makes beauty from ashes through adoption.

But, obviously, I'm not usually one for short answers. I've told some stories already about Rachel, her birth, her adoption, and our family, and I will tell more. Fun note: Today was her due date, but we've gotten to have her nine days already!

For now, let's wrap up some randomness from September before yet another 2015 month escapes me. And, yes, beginning with the baby-related items ...

1. People really like baby pictures and stories. 

Okay, well, maybe this isn't news. But as soon I started posting picture of newborn Rachel and sharing more about our adoption story on Facebook, people started giving my posts thumbs up.

If you didn't know we're adopting a baby girl who was born Sept. 19, catch up here:

We're adopting again!

Generosity in adoption

Team Taylor welcomes Rachel!

Opening up about open adoption

2. Hallmark had a fabulous baby book with adoption option pages.

Cate and Ben have baby books in binders that include pages from a regular baby book and additional pages I printed and made to tell their adoption story. They're like scrapbooks meet baby books. Rachel's is going to be more of the same but with a different starting point because Hallmark has a great baby book with optional pages and room for other homemade ones to be added.

{That's not even an affiliate link. I really just like this baby book.}

3. I can have bulk groceries delivered to my front porch.

Okay, I know about {and love to use!} Amazon's Prime Pantry, which has some groceries, and ePantry, which sells household products, but Boxed is new to me. It's like a mail-order version of Costco. And there's an app.

My first order included Gatorade, Mandarin oranges in snack-sized cups, paper plates, allergy medicine and contact solution. But next time it's going to include fruit snacks, chips, noodles, and all sorts of other things I'm currently stocked up on.

Did I mention a bulk purchase of paper plates?! Exactly 170 paper places, to be precise. Hello, perfect timing, as I cuddle my newborn.

You can join in the fun! Use 28SI6 at check out and you'll save $15 on your first order PLUS GET FREE SHIPPING. Now, there's always free shipping for orders totaling at least $75.

4. Making my son's bunk beds into a tent earned me cool mom points and helped him sleep later!

Ben is the epitome of a morning person. He wakes up ready to go and isn't usually quiet about that. A few weeks ago, we were in the process of taking some down curtains and putting up blinds instead. Like many household projects, it took longer than expected because the lady at the store told us to get the wrong width of blinds based on my window measurements.

During the week, it didn't matter if his window wasn't covered because he has to get up for school. But one Saturday I was hoping to sleep in. And by "sleep in," I mean I hoped not to wake up until the 7 o'clock hour.

So I darkened his bunk beds with a tent. And it worked.

Now that his blinds are up, the tent is still up. Because, hello, I'm a cool mom who still wants to sleep in.

5. Losing teeth is a weird process.

Well, okay, really, I don't deal with the actual losing of teeth. Cate lost her 10th tooth this month. After losing nine teeth is in 16 months {starting the month after she turned 5}, she hadn't lost one in 23 months. Crazy.

{I'm not really a numbers person, but I like when numbers tell stories.}

Meanwhile, Ben is two months from turning 6 and doesn't have a loose tooth.

6. A Precept Upon Precept study is perfect for a girl who has always liked school supplies. 

Hello, colored pens! I joined a Bible study this month at a big church that's nearby. It's not where we regularly attend, but I have several friends there and have been wanting to do a study with them. We're doing "Covenant: Knowing God's Covenants" by Percept Ministries International.

We're just a couple lessons in, but so far so good!

Tell me about your September. Are y'all glad it's fall?
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I'm linking up with Emily Freeman for my favorite monthly recaps. Read other Things I Learned posts ::

{2013} June. July. August. September. October. November. 

{2014} January. February. March. April. May. June. 

July. August. September. October. November. December. 

{2015} January. February. March. April. May. June. July. August.

This post contains affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase through any of them, I'll receive a small portion of the sale. But I only recommend products I really do love and buying through my link doesn't change the price for you and sometimes, like the Boxed promo code, actually helps you.

Want more insights? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."