Early Habits

I can still remember where I sat in my AP English class my senior year in high school. Even though we didn't have teacher-assigned seats, we assigned ourselves seats. And we sat there. Every day.

Even though I haven't lived there in more than eight years, taking Gene Snyder Freeway (or Watterson Expressway) to I-71 North to Exit 17 to my childhood home is like tracing the lines on the back of my hand. It's a route I can do without thinking about. My car just goes. And it's not even the car I drove in 2000. Or the 1987 hatch-back Ford Mustang on which I started driving home on my own.

Habits.

Now I'm watching my 19-month-old daughter develop habits. At first I was surprised that she remembered details of our days. But then I remembered where I sat in AP English and started tracing the roads home.

Habits.

Any time we walk in the door, Cate says "off," pointing to her coat. She stands by the coat rack, waiting for me to unzip her jacket. Then when Greg comes home from work, she directs him to the coat rack. "Off. Off." He takes his coat off.

When it's time for bed, Cate gets her blanket, says "bear," then "rock," all while moving toward the rocking chair in her room. Sometimes she holds the bear. Sometimes the bear is already in the bed. Either way, she settles in our arms (I put her down for naps; Greg usually has bedtime duty.) and we rock. She'll say "song," because that's part of the routine. Greg usually sings "You Are My Sunshine" and I usually sing "I Love My Catherine."

If Cate's shoes are off, she wants her socks off too. When I put socks on her in the morning, she wants her shoes on too. And she knows after I get her dressed in the morning that I'm going to fix her hair next. She'll say "hair" and start messing with it.

These aren't big things, but they are things that happen every day. There are so many others that fill my heart with joy because this is my life. Our life. And she remembers. She even learns the words that go with these habits.

One day she'll relive her childhood memories in her mind, tracing them with familiarity, like the palm of her hand. Probably not these. But ones that will be built from these.

Getting real

I loved these thoughts from Ali Edwards ...

For me, getting real right now is about setting reasonable expectations. ... Getting real for me also means living with intention. It is an attitude and a way of looking at my everyday life and the choices I encounter from minute to minute. ... Getting real is about giving yourself permission to change, making adjustments and moving forward toward a richer existence. It's about not wasting a moment in this precious life of ours. It goes so very fast. ...

Trading complaints for blessings

I complain too much. No doubt. I've been trying to think of the blessings around me when circumstances make me want to complain.

THEN ... this morning while watching "Today" I learned about A Complaint Free World. The goal, which started with a challenge from Rev. Will Bowen to his congregation at Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, Mo., is to go 21 straight days without complaining. People have had to start over with their counts. And with each complaint, a purple bracelet moves to the other wrist.

Visual reminders help me. I'm sure I'll have to start over, but I'm going to try. And if nothing else, maybe I can learn to complain less. I ordered some bracelets tonight because, as the Web site says, "Scientists believe it takes 21 days to form a new habit and complaining is habitual for most of us. ... The purple bracelet is a powerful tool to remind you of how well you are creating your life with positive intention."