Wednesday, November 26, 2014

{Three Word Wednesday} The Birth Moms

One of my favorite things about my ebook, “Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family,” is how both my kids’ birth moms contributed their words to the story. I knew from the beginning I wanted them to share their experiences, but I wasn’t sure how they would feel about that. When they each agreed, I knew our story would go to the next level. Yes, this is my family’s story, but it’s not just our family’s story.

My book received some wonderful endorsements, but the thing I loved about author Jennifer Dukes Lee's endorsement was how she saw all the lives that become intertwined through adoption and the prayer she offered for other potential birth moms :: 

“Peace in the Process” is one woman’s unexpected journey toward motherhood, but more than that, it’s the story of anyone whose life didn’t go according to plan. Kristin Hill Taylor shares a beautiful story of how God made a family – her family – through the beauty of adoption. Reading along, I imagined all of the adoptive families who would be richly blessed by reading these words. Even more, I prayed that this book would fall into the hands of many young women who might be weighing that difficult decision about how to handle an unplanned pregnancy. This book tenderly illustrates how God writes the most beautiful stories out of our deepest heartaches. 

{I changed their names in my book, but I describe them as they really are and share their quoted words throughout. The following includes some excerpts …}

I liked Mandy immediately and not just because she was giving Greg and me part of herself – literally.

The lunches we shared in January, February, March, and April of that year were filled with conversations about TV shows, hobbies and, yes, the forthcoming adoption. Her parents and siblings supported her decision but most everyone else in her life didn’t realize she spent her first year of college pregnant.

I’m thankful the open adoption provided another layer of support for Mandy: 

“You all quickly turned into a wonderful support system for me through this time. I was away from most of my family and friends, and I was living a secret from almost everyone who knew me. It was a rough emotional situation on me,” Mandy said about the open adoption. “Once you all expressed the want to be involved in the doctor’s appointments and delivery, I really didn’t think about it much. I was able to detach my feelings for the baby and realize I was carrying a child for you.”

A thank you note and the biggest care package never will do the trick. I can tell her time and time again I appreciated what she did and how she handled herself – not just for herself and her boyfriend, but for us and for Cate. I hope our girl has part of her determined spirit and positive attitude.

And then I can say it’s in the genes.

When Mandy, Greg, and I gathered in a booth at a Bloomington, Indiana, restaurant, this brave teenager told us how she was grateful to have a plan after half a pregnancy of wondering what she should do. Seven years later, she reflected on the beginning of this process that would change both our lives:

“When I found out I was pregnant, I was in my first year of college, recovering from my battle with cancer and finding out what a ‘normal’ life for a 19-year-old was. My parents had offered to help me take care of the baby, if that is what I wanted, but I didn't. I wanted my child to grow up in a stable environment. I didn't want her to have to ‘grow up with me.’ In a way I was being selfish because I wanted to be able to experience the true college life – turning 21 and being able to go to a bar without wondering who I would get to babysit, choosing where I wanted to go to college, and freeing myself from my parents. The more I thought about my options of parenting her versus placing her for adoption, I knew this was another struggle God put in my life to overcome. That's when I knew I was going to find the best family to take care of my baby.”

We continued meeting Leigh for doctor’s appointments. “We” usually meant 2-year-old Cate and me. Conversations with Leigh were easy even though I know making an adoption plan was hard on her momma heart. In Greg and me, Leigh found what she wanted for this baby boy – financially secure, religious, well-rounded people, in her words. “Having you two involved in the latter part of pregnancy was very important to me and helped me with the decision of adoption,” Leigh told me as she reflected on the adoption more than four years later. “It made me feel better getting to know the two of you more and being able to accept that this was the right decision I was making.”

Leigh’s dad and stepmom as well as others in her life were supportive of her decision and kind to Greg and me when we briefly met. We also found an ally in the obstetrician, who was a family friend of ours and had taken Leigh and our unborn baby under his care. “My family and everyone in my life at that time supported me of my decision, which made the whole process much easier,” Leigh reminisced. “I was happy to have that support system.”

… Once Ben was born, the nurse took him to a neighboring room to clean him up, which was Leigh’s preference. After hugging Leigh multiple times, Greg and I followed the nurse, who carried our son. She tended to him and then we held him. This great nurse even was good with the camera and took a picture that turned out to my favorite from the day.

Even with the celebration, I knew there was heartache for Leigh:

“I grieved as any mother would do after delivery and losing her child. It was a feeling of being torn apart because even though I knew it was the right decision, it was still hard to let him go. I cried for many days and still do every now and then, but I still know it was the right thing and wouldn't change my decision for anything,” Leigh said years later. “I think that adoption is a great idea for any mother who might have reservations about having a child at a bad time in their life. I’ve never believed in abortion, and to give someone a child that might not be able to have one or that might be able to give them better opportunities in life is wonderful.”


I'm also linking up this post with Jennifer Dukes Lee's #TellHisStory and Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart

Want more stories? "Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family" is available on Amazon. Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, peek into my life on Instagram, follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin', or subscribe to receive "Insights in Your Inbox."


  1. Keep sharing your story, Kristin. It's beautiful and will encourage so many. I will be back later to join you for Three Word Wednesday. Wishing you the most wonderful Thanksgiving. Much love. xoxo

  2. This is so moving and encouraging. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing your family to minister to others.

  3. KristinHillTaylor11/26/2014 8:17 AM

    Thank you, Karen. I'm glad you were encouraged. And I'm glad you're here.

  4. KristinHillTaylor11/26/2014 8:17 AM

    Thanks, Beth! Your encouragement has been such a blessing in this journey. Hope you have a fabulous Thanksgiving too! Love you!

  5. Oh Kristin- What a treasure to have these words from your kids' birthmoms. Thank You for letting us into your story. I wrote about adoption today too and was blessed to read this; thank you for sharing it with us.:)

  6. KristinHillTaylor11/26/2014 8:39 AM

    I'm so grateful to be able to tell my kids more and more about these women - who gave them life. I'm going to head over and your post soon. Thanks for being here, Katie!

  7. This is just beautiful! What a blessing to have developed a relationship with the birth moms to complete the circle of your family. I am glad to be here and look forward to hearing more of your story. If you live in Bloomington, we are not far from each other-I live in Cincinnati! Thank you for the link up!

  8. My sister placed her little girl for adoption in 1964 - way back when pregnant teens got hidden in homes far from their own hometown. Everything was secretive and dark. My sister never saw her baby, never smelled her, never held her - talk about a huge hole in one's heart. Miraculously, Paula found my sister almost 40 years later because of a letter my sister left in the file of the Children's Home Society. Adoption is a huge blessing - God even believes in it, after all, He adopts us! xoxo

  9. KristinHillTaylor11/26/2014 9:30 AM

    Ah, I love that they connected after all those years. Yes, God certainly does believe in adoption. Our adoption processes taught me more about God's kingdom than anything else I've experienced. I'm glad you shared here, Susan!

  10. KristinHillTaylor11/26/2014 9:31 AM

    Thanks, Mary! We actually live in Murray, KY, which is the far western part of the state. We're about 4 1/2 hours from Bloomington and probably about 5 from Cincinnati. Bloomington just happened to be where Cate's birth mom lived at the time. I grew up in LaGrange, KY, which isn't all that far from Cincy. I'm glad you're here, Mary!

  11. KristinHillTaylor11/26/2014 10:30 AM

    Thanks, Sharita! How exciting that you're open to adoption - it's definitely been the greatest testimony to God's faithfulness in my life, such a tangible example. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. I'm glad you're here.

  12. Karrilee Aggett11/26/2014 1:07 PM

    Wow... this is so powerful, Kristin! Congratulations on your book, of course - but even more than that - on how you are using it to encourage others and give glory to God! Happy Thanksgiving, friend!

  13. KristinHillTaylor11/26/2014 2:08 PM

    Hi, Karrilee! Thanks for your kind comment. Happy Thanksgiving to you!

  14. Ginger Daniel12/01/2014 11:58 PM

    Finally taking time to say you have such a beautiful place here, telling a beautiful story of God's hand over your life. Your kids are adorable and you definitely speak hope into the lives of women, in adoption...but also in every area of the heart. Blessings!

  15. KristinHillTaylor12/02/2014 9:12 AM

    Thank you, Ginger, for those kind words. I'm glad to have you here.