We are loved.

I ignored my to-do list yesterday. Unlike my calendar-crowded Monday, not much had to be done. Plenty could be done. There was {and still is ...} a sink full of dishes and a dishwasher waiting to be unloaded. Laundry could be washed. And dried. And folded. And put away. I could have worked ahead on commitments.

But I'm learning to let go.

So I sat in the recliner and read while Ben watched a 30-minute Disney Junior show after lunch. And then we cuddled and laughed. {Quite appropriate I'm reading "Hands Free Mama."}

I turned my phone on silent and didn't look at the screen much while I scrapbooked some pictures from April 2012.

I did feed my family, thanks partially to the Crock Pot chicken I prepared in the morning. I got all the dirty dishes near the sink before we left for swim lessons. That all counts for something, right?

My husband asked me a few times if I felt alright. I told him I didn't feel bad but I didn't feel good.

I've been eating less sugar and drinking less caffeinated cokes. {All soft drinks are coke here, just so you know. Diet Dr Pepper is my coke of choice.} I've been more diligent about exercising after a few weeks of pushing my routine to the side. But my blood sugar had been up and down all day.

Even more significantly, my spirit has been regrouping. I feel thoughts and opinions and plans being shifted and tweaked and redefined. God is nudging my heart and prompting my mind.

I'm remembering through ordinary moments that I'm loved by the One who made me. Sometimes I push against that with my stubborn mind, too-harsh words, and selfish ways. Sometimes I see all my physical imperfections when I look in the mirror. But even through my tainted outlook, God loves me.

I'm remembering those around me are also loved by the Creator of this world. I want the people around me, starting with my family and overflowing into others' lives, to know they are loved by me and by the One much greater. Even when I mess up, God loves them. God loves you with never-ending love too.

And sometimes when all that's happening inside not much else can happen outside. God's got a hold of me in a new way. I try to wiggle away when some moments frustrate my soul. But knowing he's not going to let go is helping me to slowly let go.

I'm letting go of perfection.

And unrealistic expectations.

And the uneasiness that comes with trying to hard to please people for the sake of being liked.

And the irritated voice that yells more than whispers.

And the distracted, overcrowded mind.

This isn't the first time I've let go. I have to intentionally loosen my grip over and over again. Maybe one day it'll come a little more naturally. But I know it will always require Someone who works supernaturally.

I am loved. You are loved. They are loved. Sometimes I have to let go to be reminded of what actually matters.

What matters isn't about production for the sake of tasks.

It's not about perfection for pleasing sake.

And it's certainly not about control prompted by fear and worry.

What matters is we are loved by the Maker of it all. And that is enough to let go of the rest. That's what I want to remember when I walk into my kitchen and see those dirty dishes overflowing from the sink on the counter. That's what I want to cling to when I have a frustrated momma voice rising up. That's what I want to know in the ordinary moments that make up this life.
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I'm joining Beth Stiff for Three Word Wednesday, Jennifer Dukes Lee for #TellHisStory, and Holley Gerth for Coffee for Your Heart. These places remind me of God's never-ending love. 

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