{Dear Weary Mom} It's OK to cry

Dear Weary Mom,

I've got to tell you, I had my first-ever "oh, my, goodness, they're growing up too fast" cry yesterday. It came on the heels of frustrations mounting in my heart. It came after my kids watched too many episodes of "My Little Pony" while I worked, trying to clear my to-do list before tending to the little people who truly trump anything else I have to offer to this world.

The tears fell after I picked an argument with my husband. Well, an argument may not be the right word. I treated him poorly because he failed to meet my expectations and couldn't see through my rough exterior. He didn't fight back with angry words. He reminded me that some days are hard, but God helps us through and gives us His joy to be our strength.

I didn't cry at their first birthday parties or when they walked or when they talked or when I dropped my girl off at kindergarten last year or walked my boy into preschool. No, I cried those heavy momma tears on a Wednesday afternoon the week before they go to preschool and first grade.

I've loved watching them growing up into the people God created them to be. But this summer isn't ending the way I wanted poolside. No, the temperatures have been too cool and the clouds to gray. It's rained most of today, when I was supposed to take the kids to a water park with a friend and her kids. My kids are handling the un-August-like weather better than me. I'm wanting to hold on.

This summer has been fun. Really, that's my problem. I'm not ready for it to end. I'm not ready for the alarm clock to sound five mornings in a row. I know once we get going it will be good. My kids like school. I like their school. But yesterday I found myself pushing away the people I love most just like I did the night before a school presentation when I was in middle school. Anticipation can be poison to my soul. {Don't be anxious, I know. Pray, yes.}

I let weariness get the best of my heart. I let frustration dictate my thoughts and behavior.

After the tears fell, I remembered that motherhood is hard. It's best when you're surrounded by people like my mother-in-law who spoke truth and wisdom into my life, like my friend who texted real-life stories and struggles back and forth with me, like my husband who doesn't use words to fight but God's word to encourage, like my kids who are joy-filled despite my shortcomings.

While regrouping mentally yesterday afternoon, I got a new Bible in the mail. {Um, perfect timing, God. And, hello, FREE BOOKS!} I flipped it open after dinner to one of the devotions in the Old Testament that referenced Haggai and Zechariah. Totally not a place I've spent much time, but the words were exactly what I needed.

"... Now go up into the hills, bring down timber, and rebuild my home. Then I will take pleasure in it and be honored ..." {Haggai 1:8}

"This is what the Lord of Heaven's Armies says: Be strong and finish the task! Ever since the laying of the foundation ... you have heard what the prophets have been saying about completing the building." {Zechariah 8:9}

We aren't building God a new temple like these Judeans were after 48 years of exile, but we are raising families for His Kingdom. And it's hard work over a long period of time. The foundation is only the beginning.

It's OK to cry. Some days are hard. This is a hard job we're doing day by day, moment by moment. These are people we're raising. There are going to be struggles and hopes squashed and seasons we don't want to end. But there will be days filled with much laughter, growing, believing, serving, giving, and creating. We're promised both kinds of days in life. But we're also promised that they all will work together for the good when we love God.

So, weary mom, take heart. Let's do this. With each other and the Lord of Heaven's Armies on our side.
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