Wednesday, November 21, 2012

{Road trip} Melting down

Post melt down, sleep came.
I held him as huge tears rolled down his cheeks. He took a breath in a coughed up all the snot that had multiplied. He swung his arms in frustration and muttered dramatic words about Daddy leaving without giving him a kiss.

We were at a basketball game that was getting ready to start well past his usual 7 p.m. bedtime that he created for himself when he was tiny. Daddy had just left for the bathroom; I had no doubt he'd be back.

But when you're tired, the little problems seem like natural disasters. I know about this because even at 33 years old this still happens to me. I knew my {nearly} 3-year-old boy was exhausted from five days with little napping and vacation fun that kept him up late.

So I held his hands, even though he yelled, "You're hurting me!" I was thankful to be surrounded by people who knew I wasn't hurting him. I firmly, yet gently held him close. I reminded him Daddy was coming.

And I didn't let go.

My uncle was sitting next to me and didn't speak until my boy had stopped crying: "A lesser woman would have given up." By this time, Daddy had returned and now held a calm, almost asleep boy.

I handled this one. I didn't give up. Not this time. 

But there have been other meltdowns that I responded to with overreacting emotions. I've yelled when I should have soothed. I've ignored when I should have embraced. I've said yes when I should have said no and no when I should have said yes. I gave in when I should have remained stubborn.

Motherhood is my classroom. I've learned much here and I have so much more to figure out. Some days are hard, even {especially?} when you're on vacation to watch your favorite college team play in a tournament in a city you love.

But I've learned days are going to be hard at home and on the road so I might as well embrace the adventure to experience places and moments with my family. I do have to remind myself that means bedtime will come later than usual and nap times could get lost. Even so, wherever we are and however everybody is feeling, I'm not giving up. On them. Or on me. Or on this adventure called life.

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