{No More Perfect Moms} Let them eat pizza

I'd say Jill Savage wrote "No More Perfect Moms" just for me, but as part of the book's launch team and Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, I've learned I'm not alone in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection. It's in this spirit of community I've invited fellow mommas to share their imperfect lives this week. 

Also this week you can have a "mom university" delivered right to your computer when you buy Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." Buy the book and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. This works if you buy the Kindle version too. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.

Jenn King is here today sharing a glimpse into her life. And today is her birthday! Jenn and I became friends a couple years ago because we kept running into each other around our small town at birthday parties, in the preschool hallway, and when we picked up our CSA vegetables. My life is richer with her in it. 

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I've spent more time thinking about lunchboxes than I like to admit. I bought my kindergartner a fancy monogrammed one at least 6 months before she started school.  She would have been happy with the tin Hello Kitty option from Walmart, but no, I needed her to have the state-of-the art Land's End Cadillac of lunchboxes.

Only the best container would suffice for all of the whole-grain, organic, junk-free goodness I would lovingly create for her each morning. And for the first couple months of school, we all had what we needed and wanted: Chloe was happy taking her lunch and eating whatever I packed, and I was proud to tell whoever would listen that my daughter took her lunch every day. Each afternoon on the way home from school I would ask Chloe who she sat with at lunch and what the other kids near her had brought. Knowing that the lunch-bringers sat down together before the lunch-buyers, I made secret mental notes of which moms devoted the time to sending lunch. Those were the lucky kids, I thought. The kids I wanted my kid to befriend.

And then it happened. Chloe got in the car one afternoon, probably in October, and said she wanted to buy her lunch the following day. Pizza Day. I'm not exaggerating, I was devastated. At first I told her I would think about it; Daddy and I would talk about it; the three of us would discuss our options. And then I couldn't hold my tongue. Bringing lunch is so much healthier, I say. It's so much better for you. The school pizza is a greasy, fatty mess.

And don't even get me started on the accompaniments. Sidekicks? What the heck are sidekicks? They're french fries, Chloe tells me, but she doesn't like them because they're too crunchy. Well, at least I can hang my hat on that!  But then she says my fries are much better, and it's at that point that I know this is much bigger than cheese pizza. I don't think I've ever made fries, so I know she's just trying to make me feel better. I take a deep breath and tell Chloe she can buy pizza. She is pleased, and I am left to sift through what's really going on with my (over)reaction to her request.

Turns out, I am a food snob and I totally judge people's food choices. Ask my husband about the Diet Coke death glare. And the arguments over him not liking asparagus or goat cheese. And let's not forget the times I would have rather gone hungry than order Dominoes or succumb to the golden arches. Add to the eating-habit judgments a large dose of control-freakishness and self-doubt, and you have a recipe for disaster.

I used to pride myself on being a foodie. I would turn my nose up at the local restaurant options and insist on making everything I could from scratch. But when the Pizza Day drama brought everything to a head, I realized that my beliefs about food and how I should feed my family were keeping me from being the person I want to be. And I finally admitted that I don't like myself very much when I'm trapped inside my need to be perfect and feed just right. There's a reason I live in town where you can't get a good burger or a homemade tortilla.  There's a reason some of my very best friends use mixes to make brownies and others hand their kids a bag of chips at snack time. There's a reason the love of my life recently requested that I make corn dog casserole and chicken fingers. And there's a reason Chloe's lunch bag almost had to be thrown away recently because of an applesauce explosion.

I am not supposed to judge, and I am not supposed to hold myself and others to ridiculous standards of perfection.  It's OK if it's not organic. And if every plate I serve isn't overloaded with Super Foods. Sitting with my family and laughing while enjoying some Sonic corn dogs is a heck of a lot healthier than me yelling at my husband for wanting said corn dogs and forcing a my 4-year old to choke back one more kale chip. I don't want someone to like me or my kid because of which lunchbox she has, and I don't want my kids to feel like my love depends on what they want for breakfast.

Since my food-related come-to-Jesus, new gastronomic adventures have become available to me, right here in our little town: There's a place where I can order healthy stuff in bulk, a group of juicers I may join, and Kroger even got a sushi bar. I like to think these changes waited for me to be ready for them. I've also discovered an even cooler lunch box, and I will probably go ahead and buy it. But I don't feel like it has to be used every day. In fact, today's not even Pizza Day and Chloe wants to buy her lunch. I'm saying yes to chicken nuggets (they come with a whole grain roll, after all!) and I'm not worrying a thing about it. But you'd better believe tonight we're eating in!
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Jenn is a 36-year-old mother of three lively daughters, ages 6, 4 and 13 months. She and her husband chose the small (to them!) town of Murray, KY to grow their marriage and their children, create a home and build a neurology private practice, in that order. Jenn doesn't work outside the home, but there's not much staying in the house involved, either! She enjoys being in community, cooking, creating any- and everything, and capturing life through picture-taking.
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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate link used, but most of you know by now that embracing imperfection is the theme of my year and "No More Perfect Moms" has been a huge part of that. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{God-sized Dreams} Waiting

I don't wait well. 

When I get an idea, I like to go with it. When we pick dates for a trip, I like to plan it. We were engaged for six months, and I would have been OK getting married a couple months earlier.

I've had a book idea for years. And I've written on it little bits at a time during those years. It's not long, like you may think a book should be after years. Well, OK, I sometimes think years should equate to many, many pages. But, really, it's the kind of book that will be best if it spans time.

To give it more time means to wait. It means holding on my God-sized dream longer so it can develop more thoroughly. It means writing little bits at a time for awhile longer while the story unfolds.

Last week Holley Gerth challenged us God-sized dreamers to share an experience that answers these questions: What’s one fear you’ve faced when it comes to your God-sized dream? And what’s the truth that’s bigger than that fear?

I'm not sure I'd would have labeled waiting as a fear. But I've been thinking about it lately and realized this: Often I don't like to wait because I'd rather be in control. Waiting means depending on someone else's schedule, which they probably don't have control over either. Waiting means soaking up the moment and not wishing for tomorrow. Waiting means that I'm not in control. Perhaps this book idea I've had and continue to develop is God's way of helping me learn to wait on his perfect timing.

The truth is God's timing is perfect. My idea can be even better if I wait on the ultimate giver and creator. 

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!

Psalm 27:14

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37-3-4

I have this rough {rough!} draft of my book idea. I sent it to a stranger who is becoming a friend. She offered encouragement and truth. When I read her words on my computer screen, the idea that I needed to wait and develop and expand and build and tell more of a story was confirmed. I am thankful God works like that. He gives us assurance that we're doing the right thing and he's not finished yet. He whispers wait.
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Tuesdays are God-sized Dream days around here and I'm linking this post along with many, many other dreamers on Holley Gerth's blog. You'll find encouragement, truth and community there. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} Thoughts from a Recovering Perfectionist

I'd say Jill Savage wrote "No More Perfect Moms" just for me, but as part of the book's launch team and Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, I've learned I'm not alone in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection. It's in this spirit of community I've invited fellow mommas to share their imperfect lives this week. 

Also this week you can have a "mom university" delivered right to your computer when you buy Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." Buy the book and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. This works even if you buy the Kindle version. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.

Courtney French is here today. We met more than five years ago. It was a couple weeks after I became a stay-at-home mom and I had a 5-month-old girl in my arms when I walked into a mom's group that met at her house. Let's welcome one of my dearest friends here just like she did me into the mom's group and ultimately her life. 
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I have been a perfectionist my entire life. When I was in elementary school I would get throw up when I didn’t get a perfect score. My stomach would be in knots every time there was a conflict between friends. Carrying this into high school, I became sick when relationships were not going right. I was very self conscious about how I looked. My clothes and hair had to be just so. 

I gave up things {that I might have learned to enjoy} when I didn’t do them perfectly. I beat myself up mentally when I answered questions in class, critiquing myself, thinking of everything that I thought I should have said differently. I am a very task-oriented person, and love lists. I have a terrible habit of making a to-do list for myself that is not attainable, then am frustrated when I can’t check everything off my list.

Being a perfectionist carries over into every relationship. The first fight you have with your spouse is devastating because even though you know relationships are not going to be perfect, some little part of you still expects that! When your child throws a fit in public for the first time, it rocks your world and you feel like a bad mom because it is so embarrassing. Any kind of conflict with friends and family members is extremely hard because you just want everyone to get along! You end up setting such high expectations for yourself (or anyone else for that matter) that you always end up with disappointment.

Being a perfectionist carries over into all of life. Not a hair out of place. When you cook, you want it to be perfect. Holidays should be magically perfect. Decorating cakes, well, that is a challenge for a perfectionist! Homeschooling is also a challenge and should be perfect ... complete with a perfect schedule and exciting learning activities for the kids.

Perfectionism puts pressure on us moms to be the perfect moms. Balancing kids, school, schedules, extracurricular activities, hobbies, relationships, church, and finding ways to serve others and our community can be stressful. So many plates spinning in the air, and we try to find a way to keep them all going when what eventually happens is one of them falls and breaks ... and our idea of a perfect day/season falls apart.

Lately I feel like the Lord is gently nudging me to let go of the perfectionism. We put our house up for sale in May 2012 and spent the entire summer keeping it “perfect” for showings. Then we ended up selling it in August ... during our first week of school. This is a challenge for any mom, but for this homeschooling mom, it was exceptionally hard for me to figure out how to balance it all. I had come up with {what I thought was} a great schedule this year and had added a new way of learning/organizing our day ... when WHAM ... we have to pack it all up and move it into a different place. 

I wondered: How do I keep teaching my kids (and doing it well!) while we pack up a house and move? How do we unpack and get settled while trying to complete house projects and school? We moved into the new house the end of September and have had lots of days of crazy schedules, living out of boxes, and unpacking. 

There has hardly been a “normal” day since we moved. Right off we faced major plumbing problems in the house. Arrangements had to be made to get those fixed, and also make sure we were not using too much water in the house in the meantime (which is really fun with kids ... ). We had to have a day without water for it to be fixed. We painted four rooms, replaced carpet, had a yard sale, put together new furniture, replaced outlets/light fixtures, hung curtains, organized rooms, replaced locks, had to rearrange days to meet the cable and utilities guys, and all those other things that you do when you move. 

We have had unexpected trips this year, a death in our family and educational events -- all things that messed with our schedule this year. Days when I had *hoped* to have a “normal” schedule, other things have come up, such sickness. It just seems to be one thing after the other this year!

Moving has forced me to let go of some of those perfectionist expectations and just roll with what comes every day. I feel like God is trying to help me let go of being a perfectionist ... with my schedule {and I definitely think schedules are good, but not if you are a slave to them}, my relationships, and the state of my house! 

My job is not to make everything perfect. God doesn’t expect perfection from us. If He did, we would have no need for Him! The thing that I want to learn during this season of “letting go" is to embrace imperfections in my relationships, with my children, my schedule, my house, you name it. I want to step over the train tracks that frequently take up part of the floor {with a smile}, take more breaks to play games and dance with my kids, be extra gracious with others when disappointments/hurt feelings come, and let the laundry and dishes go sometimes when I feel my body telling me it is time to take a break. I want to enjoy and live life to its fullest, relax and trust God. I want to quit comparing myself to how I think others are and enjoy being who God made me to be. 

I want to trust God to help use my imperfections to draw me closer to Him, knowing that 2 Corinthians 12:9 is true: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." I also want to trust in Romans 8:28: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

This life is a race. It is not a sprint, but a marathon, especially motherhood! It is a long process as we raise children. It takes time, pain, hard work, energy and strength, just as running a marathon does. To do this successfully, we have to keep running and keep our eyes up. If we look down, we will fall. If we look around us, we may run into something or get off track. We must keep our eyes up and focused.

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

{Hebrews 12:1-2}

So ... if you come to my house, please ignore the mess. It’s more important for me to see you! If it seems that nothing is out of place, it’s probably in a closet somewhere. If you see me in Walmart in sweats and a hat, give me a high five ... that is a big step for this perfectionist! If my kids aren’t behaving as they should, please pray for extra patience. If I stick my foot in my mouth, please give me grace. None of us are perfect, none of us have it all together! We are all in this race together, so let’s help cheer each other onto the finish.

2013 is my year of giving up perfectionism. Will you join me?

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Courtney French is a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of two kids. She likes scrapbooking, crafting, decorating cakes and playing the piano. When she's not mothering, she's volunteering as a nurse at a local medical clinic that serves the uninsured working population. 
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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate link used, but most of you know by now that embracing imperfection is the theme of my year and "No More Perfect Moms" has been a huge part of that. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} Permission to be Imperfect

I'd say Jill Savage wrote "No More Perfect Moms" just for me, but as part of the book's launch team and Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, I've learned I'm not alone in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection. It's in this spirit of community I've invited fellow mommas to share their imperfect lives this week. 

Also this week you can have a "mom university" delivered right to your computer when you buy Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." Buy the book and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. This works even if you buy the Kindle version. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.

Wani Penrod is a fellow member of the "No More Perfect Moms" launch team and I'm glad she went along with my idea to swap posts to share about this book that has found its way into our lives. She blogs about her life and seems to be quite crafty. I'm glad she's here today!

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I get the perfectionist part of myself from my mother. She knows how she wants something and she wants it done right. And I have a tendency to be that way sometimes too. That is not always necessarily a bad thing. But we have to have boundaries with others and with ourselves. We have to be able to assess a situation and determine whether our standards are realistic. I have not always had this perspective. Shocking, I know!

There is this weird thing about being a perfectionist ... sometimes you get so overwhelmed by the knowledge that you cannot meet your own expectations that you are basically crippled by it. Sometimes I have opted to avoid a project or task altogether rather than do it "sub par." But in life we cannot always put off things that can't be completed "perfectly." We need to press on and do our best and accept that it's better to do something "good enough" than to not do it at all.

I recently read an article online titled "The Hamster Wheel of Perfection" that talked about how the Christian community should provide a place where broken people get healed, not where we feel wrong for expressing our humanness. We often feel like we have to put on our church clothes and happy face when we are with other believers. But we are doing ourselves and our friends a disservice by trying to hide behind a happy face when we are struggling or hurting inside.

"No More Perfect Moms" welcomes moms in all stages and phases to let go of the stress of trying to be perfect and helps them to embrace just being themselves! Motherhood is hard work that never ends and just doing our best is all we can ask of ourselves or anyone. The stories from Jill Savage and other moms are easy to relate to and give reassurance that we are not alone in our imperfection.

It is very liberating to put aside perfectionism and embrace grace -- both for the sake of ourselves and for others. We all of a sudden have the freedom to let our house be seen in its natural state of semi-chaos instead of never having company because we never feel our house is clean enough. We are able to share openly with friends about the struggles we go through as moms that we thought were unique to us but are really something that many other moms struggle with also. Sharing our burdens makes them a lighter load to bear. The God we serve loves us all just as we are, imperfections and all ... so can't we love ourselves and each other that way as well?
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Wani is a Christian stay-at-home mom with two sons and a beautiful daughter. She does a little photography on the side. She loves being able to capture people's personalities and special moments. She is a born-again, Bible-believing wife, mother, friend, photographer, sister, daughter, aunt, and cook as well as an aspiring scrapbooker, seamstress, decorator, and blogger. Her blog is a journal of her family's experiences as they navigate through the world of home education and special needs. It's a wild ride!
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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate link used, but most of you know by now that embracing imperfection is the theme of my year and "No More Perfect Moms" has been a huge part of that. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} Perfect start to embracing imperfection

I've been talking about this book that has helped transform my perspective. Now it's available for anyone, and, really, every mom should read it! "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage is now available! Plus you're going to get all kinds of extra goodies {worth more than $100 and outlined below!} if you buy the book this week.

I'd say I feel like this book was written just for me, but as part of the book's launch team, I've learned I'm not alone ... in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection! Plus my friends and I swap stories on a regular basis that remind me I'm not alone. Stay tuned this week because I have six fabulous guest posts lined up for you!

Since December, this launch team has been interacting in a private Facebook group that has been filled with real-life stories, prayer requests, advice, encouragement and conversation. Jill Savage has been active and real with those of us who are gaining so much insight for her.

I'm glad the book is officially out there. I know it's going to help so many families. Also as part of the launch team, I wrote a review on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com and Christianbook.com.

We run late because sometimes getting kids – or even a kid! – to move in a timely fashion is like herding cats. We clean up spills. Sickness interrupts our plan for the day. We have misunderstandings with the people we love most. The dishes fill the sink and the dirty clothes await their turn in the washer then the dryer.

Then while dealing with our daily lives, we start comparing and organizing and planning and expecting more than is realistically possible for ourselves, our husbands, our kids, and our friends.

This Perfection Infection, as Jill Savage calls it, needs to stop. Savage tells true tales that give readers practical advice on how to find freedom in reality while entrusting every detail of our lives to God. She discusses how to love your real life without perfect kids, bodies, marriages, friends, days and homes.

As a mom of two kids 5 and younger, I appreciated the way Jill Savage took real-life examples from her own mothering experience and stories friends have shared with her to help me remember I’m not the only mom who has tried too hard, reacted too emotionally, wondered what I should do, and struggled to let go.

If you're a mom who has ever felt exhausted, stressed, anxious, overworked, insecure, unsure, or busy {OK, so, any mom, really ...}, this book could be the perfect start to embracing your imperfect life.

Everyone loves a good investment…especially one that comes with a big bonus! This is one of those investments that you don’t want to miss!

Purchase Jill Savage’s new book "No More Perfect Moms" anytime today through Feb. 9 {online or at a store ... and yes, electronic versions for the Kindle and Nook count too} and you'll be given access to more than $100 worth of resources that will help you on your mothering journey -- absolutely free! Send a copy of your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu. Scan it or take a picture of it -- just be sure to send it to the email.

What resources will you receive?

6 hour-long audio workshops (MP3 format) from Hearts at Home

• Desperate for Wisdom - Dr. Juli Slattery
• How to Fight for Your Marriage - Dr. Juli Slattery
• It is Well with Your Soul - Jennifer Rothschild
• Multiple Intelligences - Dr. Kathy Koch
• Ten Stress Strategies Every Mom Needs - Jill Savage
• The God Who Sees You- Tammy Maltby

4 printables from Hearts at Home

• 10 Stress Strategies Every Mom Needs
• “Love Is” - I Corinthians 13 for Parents
• Mom Rules
• How to Fight Fair In Marriage

3 free e-books (including PDF, Kindle, iPad, and Nook editions!) from Moody Publishers

• "Live Free" by Kendra Smiley
• "Growing Grateful Kids" by Susie Larsen
• "Real Moms Real Jesus" by Jill Savage

1 Hearts at Home Conference contest entry
You will be entered in a drawing to win hotel accommodations and two Hearts at Home Mom Conference registrations for you and a friend at a conference of your choice! (If unable to attend a conference, a Hearts at Home Conference To-Go will be substituted for the winner and a friend.)

This offer is available for this week only! Grab a copy of "No More Perfect Moms," scan your receipt, email it, and start enjoying your new book plus all of the extra bonuses you’ll receive! It’s a “mom university” delivered right to your computer!

You can buy the paperback or the Kindle version through these Amazon links, but it's available at plenty of other bookstores too. If you decide to read this book and, more importantly, embrace its message, I'd love to hear about it. Leave a comment below or email me at kristinhilltaylor (at) gmail (dot) com.
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Disclaimer: Compensated Amazon affiliate links used. I received my own copy of "No More Perfect Moms" as part of the book's launch team, but I'm choosing to embrace its message and these opinions are mine. You can read my earlier posts about embracing imperfection here. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

Weekend Words

Dear Scarlette, Lessons in Latergramming :: I love technology, but this is a beautiful reminder of how it does sometimes crowd our life and make us missing out on truly living. This is the first time I've read Kayla Aimee, but I'm glad I clicked on a link from Blogher. Here's to a balance between being online and offline!

Why you shouldn't judge the mom in front of you at the checkout line ... :: I've been both the mom trying to keep it all together until I got out of the store into the comforts of my minivan and the mom at the back of the line internalizing my judgmental thoughts. Hooray to Genny Heikka for this practical encouragement for moms everywhere in the line.

"I'm Adopted" :: This is my favorite Slugs & Bugs song. In fact, it's one of my favorite songs by anyone. Yes, I have two adopted kids, but I'm also not sure I've ever heard the gospel summed up so succinctly or beautifully. This new video makes the message even better, even though I had no idea that was possible. Well done, Randall Goodgame and team.

I've Never Been Told That Before :: Jennifer Schmidt doesn't know me, but, goodness, I feel like she wrote this for me. I often leave a conversation and wonder if I've said too much. Let's just hope God uses the most important words that come out of my mouth and I realize when I need to shut up.

Isaiah Canaan: Tale of two contrasting seasons :: I'm certainly glad #3 is back, even if this season isn't like last season. I'm a loyal Murray State fan, so it's fun to watch a player who cares about his future and the community that gave him a chance to play four years of college basketball.
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{Five Minute Friday} Afraid

SPRING 2012. 

My boy isn't afraid of anything. Not even fish germs. When not kissing fish, he likes to jump in that lake. 

I'm participating in Five Minute Friday, a link-up writing prompt at Lisa-Jo Baker's blog. This week the prompt is "Afraid ..." 

I jumped off the high dive over and over again when I was a kid. I like when my husband drives fast on the jet ski while I lay on a tube attached to the back. I try to stay on, but, admittedly, being flung into the lake is fun. I even bungy jumped once.

But don't put me in front an audience and ask me to speak. When I was a kid I didn't like running into people I knew in the grocery store, so don't even get me started about strangers. I grew up and became a reporter who asked question of whoever necessary. But I still don't really even like playing Charades with friends who know the best and worst of me.

Change makes me nervous, but I'm slowly learning it's good for my soul.

I look at my kids and I'm so glad they're not afraid.

My boy isn't afraid of anything. He may only be 3, but he's been jumping off the dock into the lake and the side of the pool since he was 19 months old and I had to search for the right life jacket to properly keep his head afloat. He climbs and runs and races and jumps and sleeps on the edge of his big boy bed. He talks to anyone and I'm pretty sure he'd like to play the drums when he gets bigger.

My girl is more caution. She has to be talked into some things. But she's not afraid to tell stories to anyone she meets. She makes friends easily and lives live to the fullest.


STOP.

Want to join us? Here are Lisa-Jo's rules: 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back here and invite others to join in. 3. Please visit the person who linked up before you and encourage them in their comments. That is like the one rule we all really care about. For reals.
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{Beyond Ordinary} She's a winner!

And the winner is ...

Kristin Anne Smith is the winner of the "Beyond Ordinary" giveaway. She's part of the God-sized Dream Team with me and 98 other women. We connected because not only do we share a first name {and spelled correctly, right, Kristin?!}, but she is in a season of life I'd been through and I was able to share what God had taught me through trusting him to provide while I gave up a regular, predictable paycheck. The change she's making will directly affect her marriage, so I'm thankful she'll have this tremendous resource in her hands. I'm excited to hear about where her journey takes her.

Congratulations, Kristin!

Thank you to everyone who participated, making this giveaway one of my most-ever read posts. Your comments were encouraging and reminded me that we serve a mighty God who believes in transforming us. With this comes the freedom to have relationships that nourish us and teach us more about serving and loving.

You can buy Beyond Ordinary ($10.19 today) or its Kindle version ($9.68 today) on Amazon.
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Disclosure: Compensated affiliate link used. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

Family Game Nights

In the spirit of noticing and enjoying my kids growing up lately, I thought I'd share some of our favorite games these days. Greg and I both come from game-playing families and still love to have game nights with our friends, so I'm glad we're raising a game-playing family of our own.

Blokus
We got this game I'd never heard of as a Christmas present from a friend of ours. I was immediately intrigued because the pieces reminded me of Tetris. Ben can't quite play (which is expected in a game recommended for people 5 and older), but he does say, "Momma, I'm going to jam you up!" when he's helping his daddy play. Cate, who is 5, is developing some strategy, but this is one of those games that is simple to learn but leaves plenty of time to master. Sometimes when the kids are in bed, Greg and I will play some competitive rounds of Blokus without our kids.

Sequence for Kids
Another gift from another friend, I hadn't seen this game until it was sitting on our table. I've seen and I believe even played the regular version, but this is a fun kid version that my 3-year-old restless boy can play and my game-loving, 5-year-old daughter likes to play. It's like a more sophisticated Connect Four. I get the feeling there will be more post-dinner games of Sequence for Kids happening around here.


The Best of Charades for Kids
I don't generally like charades. Mostly, I don't like standing in front {even a small} crowd and acting. But my daughter loves this game. She got The Best of Charades for Kids in a board game exchange at her class Christmas party {Fabulous idea, huh?}. I do like that each card has three words of different difficulty levels with the easiest having a picture as well as the written word. That makes playing this an option for Ben, who was surprisingly good at translating the picture into her actions.

Rummikub for Kids
This the junior version of a game both Greg and I played as kids. He calls is RUM-ME-CUB and I call it RUM-ME-CUBE, just as the directions shows. To make matters worse, his mom calls is it RUMMY-CUB too. They are little tiles, people. Tiles are more like cubes than cubs. Whatever you call it, the kid version of Rummikub is worth playing.

Uno
Greg and I love to play cards so, really, we're hoping to raise some Euchre and Spades players. But until then, we'll play Uno with our girl who definitely gets the damage a well-timed "reverse" or "skip" can do. SKIP BO is the next card game I want to teach her.

Chutes & Ladders
Admittedly, Chutes and Ladders and Candy Land rank pretty low now that we've reached a point of being able to play all these other games, but I do find much joy in my son thinking sliding down chutes, which move him farther from the finish line, is fun.

What kind of games does your family play?
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Disclosure: Compensated affiliate links used, but the opinions about these board games are mine. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

They're growing up.

Ben in his big boy bed in his new room. All his stuffed animals made the move with him.

My boy is getting big. 

And, honestly, I'm good with that.

I walk this thin line between wanting to live in the moment and being excited my kids are growing up. Don't misinterpret that. I don't want to rush my kids out of childhood. But I do like some of the ways they embrace independence. My kindergarten daughter is showering herself once one of us adults gets her water temperature the perfect and is getting close to losing her third tooth. My 3-year-old boy can eventually put on his clothes and sometimes manages to get his coat and hat on before we walk out the door.

She's excited about her brother getting bigger and
she pulled her loose tooth last night. Three down ... 

Last week we moved Ben from his nursery bedroom on the main level of the house to what has been the guest room upstairs. He shares a hallway with his big sister now. He's even ventured into her room a few times in the middle of the night, which disrupts sleep for all of us.

Cate is even excited to have him upstairs in his own space near her room, although she doesn't want him in her room, much less her bed, in the middle night. They both even helped me move his toys up the stairs and they've played in there many afternoons once she's home from school.

She told her carpool friends about Ben "sleeping in his big boy bed in his new room by hers." I heard the excitement in her voice that diminished when her friends didn't really seem to care.

Having a newborn is sweet but it's not my favorite phase of motherhood. I haven't been sad at either of my kids' first birthdays. I don't mind when I can start carrying a big purse again instead of a stuffed-full diaper bag. Toddlerhood with my boy was much harder and exhausting than a few years earlier with my girl, so I'm OK living on the other side of him being 2.

But, you know, my boy is funny. He tells crazy stories, probably to compete with his sister's constant detailed tales. Sometimes in the middle of a conversation, he's just growl. It's when I can't hear him I have to wonder what he's doing.

He's sweet sometimes too. A few times he's interrupted silence with "Momma! I love Jesus. Jesus lives in heaven." He adores my best friend here nearly as much as he loves her three kids who he treats like an extended group of siblings. He whispers in people's ears and likes to wave to strangers in stores and restaurants.

I like seeing his personality explode in our life, even on the days I have to take deep breaths and finally breathe a deep sigh of relief when bedtime comes. I want to help him channel his energy and not squash his spirit. Seeing my kids' relationship with each other develop is one of my greatest joys of mothering. Maybe she can convince him using the potty really is better than wearing a diaper.

These things wouldn't happen if they didn't grow up. I'm sure one day I'll cry big 'ole momma tears 'cause my babies aren't babies. But I'm not there yet. Right now I want to wrap my arms around my 5-year-old girl and 3-year-old boy and remember that these days won't last for long because that's how life is meant to be. 
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{God-sized Dreams} Remembering

And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. He said to the Israelits, "In the future when you descendants ask their parents, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.' For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.

{Joshua 4:20-24}

I've got some memorial stones of my own. There are both my kids' adoption processes. Details in both reminded me God is faithful and always working, even when we can't see what he's doing. We found the ideal house for our growing family when we weren't even looking and moved three weeks before our second child was born. Just yesterday I finished blogging about five ways Januarys in the past have changed my life. 

As a planner who has been known to resist change, God often reminds me how he has provided in the more than five years since I quit a job I loved when my daughter I loved more was 4 months old. I went back to work as a small-town newspaper reporter after six weeks at home with my newborn daughter. This was my plan, yet I was more reluctant than I expected. Still, I went, mostly because I told my boss I would. Plus I wanted to prove to myself I could do it all. I could be excellent at my job and be a devoted mother. 

Truth was, it was hard. And my girl wasn't even moving yet. My husband worked at home in the mornings when I went to the office and then I came home at lunch and we swapped. He went to work and I took care of Cate while fielding phone calls and answering emails, possibly even writing my stories for the next day's paper while she slept. I took her along to interviews at the sheriff's department and city hall.

It worked, but I knew it wasn't going to work for long. Honestly, I didn't want this arrangement to work for much longer. 

Greg had gone out on his own and started his own law practice in August 2006. Not even a year earlier. That was certainly a factor in my hesitation. I got paid every other week. Granted, newspaper reporting isn't a lucrative profession, but my paychecks were steady. We knew what they would be and when they would come. And my health insurance contribution to my work's group plan came out of that salary. 

I debated. I talked. I thought. I asked. I wondered. I worked. I mothered. I hesitated. 

And then I trusted God. 

In August 2007, just after my sister's wedding weekend when God sealed my decision during a conversation with my aunt, I told my boss I was going to quit reporting on police and courts news, university and city government meetings and business, and our town's publicly owned hospital. I was going to fully embrace motherhood now that my husband had figured out how to make health insurance work through his still young business. 

God has provided. He's been faithful as my husband has worked to expand his business. I may have a print journalism degree, but God has opened up opportunities for me to use some of those same skills to volunteer with community organizations that matter to me and manage our two Kentucky Lake vacation rentals. Starting just a couple weeks after I quit my job, I went to a mom's group where I met another stay-at-home mom who has become a dear friend. He's helped me build friendships with other moms who help sustain me. And God has given me contentment. 

When I walked out of that newsroom for the last time on Sept. 14, 2007, I did wonder if I'd miss it. How could I not after four years of loving a job I had once said I'd never do? But somehow God gave me peace and took away that wondering and wishing and missing the organized chaos of a newsroom, an environment in which I thrived. My days at home -- well, you know, we go places too -- are harder than the ones in the newsroom, but I already get that they already are and will be more rewarding. 

I want to remember. I want to remember how I eventually trusted God in accepting change. I want to remember how God provides and is faithful and gives peace that passes all understanding. So here is my memorial stone for that decision that not only changed my life but has changed my husband's and daughter's life and more recently my son's life. 

Last week, Holley encouraged us to take this step: Thing back to another time when you took positive action in your life. What's one thing that helped you move forward that you could apply again now and someone else could benefit from hearing too? 

Remember. That's my one thing. I cherish stories and love to reminisce. It's in the words and memories that I'm reminded what God has done. I'm left believing he'll do it again and again. Because the hand of the Lord is powerful.
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Tuesdays are God-sized Dream days around here and I'm linking this post along with many, many other dreamers on Holley Gerth's blog. You'll find encouragement, truth and community there. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{January 28, 2004}

Two years ago I wrote a five-part series about how January changed me. Big things have happened in Januarys past and I want to share them again this year as a reminder that God moves. He works when we don't realize how things will come together.


I had lost a ton of weight. I was always thirsty. And my contacts felt dry in my eyes.

Those were my symptoms. For months. For a year at least. Really, probably closer to 18 months. At first I didn't notice. Then I needed to hold a couple more months until my health insurance kicked in.

I chose a doctor a friend had gone to and liked. And within five minutes of talking to the doctor, I learned I probably had diabetes. She ordered a blood test to confirm, but she told me to go home and pack a bag for the hospital.

I cried. I called Greg. I cried. I called my mom. I cried.

I cried because I was scared.

Even on this first day, I was thankful for my doctor. She was calm and encouraging. And she didn't let me in on just how dangerously high my blood sugar was. I mean, she told me the number, which was in the 500s, I believe, but she didn't let me know just how worrisome that was. She also didn't tell me until later about my A1C, which measures the average blood sugar level over the past few months, and how it indicated diabetes had gone undiagnosed in me for quite some time.

Some in the previous year or maybe even two, my pancreas had stopped working. A virus killing off good cells is the best possible cause, but, really, the reason is a mystery. Turns out, my pancreas doesn't produce insulin and my body was burning fat because it couldn't properly break down sugar, leading to my thirst and hunger issues and weight loss.

I spent three nights in the hospital, where the nurses gradually brought my blood sugar level down with shots of insulin in my upper arm and tended to my dehydrated body with fluids. I learned how to count carbohydrates, give myself insulin shots and monitor my blood sugar levels. I realized our bodies are complex and that addressing this one need helped me feel so much better in every way.

For more than 7 1/2 years, I took one kind of insulin every time I eat and another kind each evening. Then in September 2011, I started using an insulin pump, which was such a good decision for me. This change came on the heels of me choosing a new doctor when the one who diagnosed me closed her practice. When I hesitated about his recommendation for pump therapy, he said if I decided do it I'd regret doing it five years earlier. I'm not sure about the five years, but I know he was right about me wishing I'd done it sooner!

I still go to the doctor every three months to have blood work done so my blood sugar, thyroid function and cholesterol levels can be monitored. Doctor #2 moved from my small-town, so I just started seeing another primary care physician and am looking into adding an endocrinologist for an annual visit. My kids like to watch my change my insulin pump infusion set, fill the new reservoir with insulin from the vial, and prick my finger to check my blood sugar. I know if I go too many days without exercise that my blood sugar rises for several days, giving me headaches. And when I do exercise, I have to take off my insulin pump so my blood sugar doesn't go too low.

I certainly don't manage it perfectly, and I still like to treat myself to sweets {with extra insulin, of course}. But I take care of myself, even though it's frustrating some times. A side effect of insulin is the difficulty losing weight. Yet I have to take it. So, like most people, I'm better off to pass on the desserts. But I like food. It's a vicious cycle. Usually I am thankful my chronic condition is one that is manageable. But some days I wish I could have a normally functioning pancreas.

I don't really want to live Jan. 28, 2004, over again. But it's part of me. I don't cringe when I give myself a shot or prick my finger. I just do it. Most of the pharmacist technicians at Rite-Aid know my name when I walk into pick up my diabetes supplies.

Much of those few days is a blur. But I remember one thing clearly: When I called Greg just a few minutes after I found out, crying, of course, he said, "It's OK, we'll change our lifestyle." He said, "we," and I was reminded I'm married to my best friend who is willing to live life with me, despite circumstances that may alter the course we thought we were on.

And he's lived by that these past nine years. He knows when I get irritable there is a good chance my blood sugar is high. He knows if my words start to be confusing and I'm sweating that my blood sugar is too low.

God created me and knows the details of every hormone and organ in my body. I may not know why my pancreas quit working, but I'm thankful there are ways to continue living this life, my life.
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This is the last in a five-part series about how January changed me. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{January 27, 2010}

Two years ago I wrote a five-part series about how January changed me. Big things have happened in Januarys past and I want to share them again this year as a reminder that God moves. He works when we don't realize how things will come together.

Ben has kept us on our toes before he was even born.

We were going to use a placement agency for our second adoption, but we met Ben's birth mom just before we really committed. He wanted to come into the world early, forcing his birth mom to take it easy for months before he was born, just eight days early. Once we had him home, he spit up often and was quick to express his discontentment. Let's just say, once Ben was sleeping through the night, momma and Ben were both more pleasant people.

And then, thankfully, his adoption process went even faster than we expected. The hearing was just an informal formality, but it was an important step in creating our family of four. And we wouldn't change Ben's second-child ways that disrupted what we were used to and made our family even better.

He's 3 now. And he's still loud and messy. But he's really funny and joy-filled too. He's fearless, always looking for an adventure. He likes his cup and sister near. He loves watching movies and swinging at the park, but he doesn't sit still for much of anything else. As his momma, I hope I can help him channel that energy and not squash his spirit.
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You can see pictures from the final adoption hearing here. This is the fourth in a five-part series about how various events in January changed my life. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{Shutterfly} 101 FREE 4x6 prints

Who doesn't love free?!

Today and tomorrow you can get 101 free 4x6 photo prints from Shutterfly. I love ordering from Shutterfly because the quality is fantastic, the service is excellent and whatever you name your photo appears on the back of the print. Use the code GET101PRINTS between now and 11:59 p.m. {Pacific} Sunday to get your free prints.

Offer is good for 101 free 4x6 prints at Shutterfly.com. Offer valid for one-time redemption per billing address. Offer not valid for in-store pickup. Taxes, shipping and handling will apply. In most parts of the country, shipping will be around $7.50.

So what are you waiting for?
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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate links used, but who doesn't love a good photo deal. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

Weekend Words

Having a bad doesn't make you a bad mother :: This is so good. "Buy ear plugs if you have to – turn up the music, dance in the fact that you are doing it – you are mothering and it’s the hardest gig for the most demanding audience. Don’t waste the good moments on that voice. Don’t listen. Learn to tune it out and run to your kids instead. Run and hug and laugh away the bad moments. Say sorry when you need to and stay down on your knees a little longer, look around and see how the world is small and big at the same time and it’s right there in your hands." I saved this for when I was having the kind of day I needed such a reminder. I just recently started following Lisa-Jo Baker's blog, but I can tell it will be a place of much encouragement.

I need you. You need me. {And that's good.} :: Holley Gerth did it again. Her words came through my laptop like she was sitting at my kitchen table, reminding me that this is the good, real life I'm living in community with my friends who lead ordinary lives like me. But together we're extraordinary.

Thoughts on Hospitality :: Yes! Jennifer Bruce contrasts entertaining and hospitality in a way that should make us breathe a sigh of relief and unlock our doors. "The next time you have an opportunity to welcome someone into your home, I challenge you to practice hospitality. Don't put on a show. Just open the door and your heart as you invite someone to c'mon in and be part of your family for awhile."

Have you read anything good online this week?
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{Five Minute Friday} Again

I'm participating in Five Minute Friday, a link-up writing prompt at Lisa-Jo Baker's blog. This week the prompt is "Again ..." 

I think it was in the 2 o'clock hour this morning that I heard our 3-year-old boy peering over my husband's side of the bed. Yes, I could hear him peering. And then I heard him mumbling something about not being able to sleep.

Once again, my husband was gracious even while his sleep was being interrupted. I'm not that gracious, usually even in normal waking hours. That was my one thought before I went back to sleep again.

Then two little faces that should be sleeping peered over my side of the bed. I guess I heard them again because something woke me up. Maybe it was their voices. But maybe it was just their presence. It was 4:36, according to my cell phone that doubles as my alarm clock.

The first words out of my mouth: "You two need to go back to bed." They were scratchy, irritated words. There, again, my lack of grace.

My 5-year-old girl starts in on the story of what's going on. "Ben came into my room." See, we just moved him to his "new" room upstairs. It used to be a guest room, but I thought he was ready. I think he likes being down the hall from his sister now. And while I appreciate him thinking she can help his sleeping woes, I really just wanted them sleeping. Again.

Thankfully, that did happen after I sent them back to their rooms.

STOP.

Want to join us? Here are Lisa-Jo's rules: 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back here and invite others to join in. 3. Please visit the person who linked up before you and encourage them in their comments. That is like the one rule we all really care about. For reals.
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{Giveaway} Beyond Ordinary

"... Most of the behaviors we struggle with are tied to broken parts of our hearts. ... God doesn't want to improve your marriage; he wants to transform it. God doesn't want to modify your behavior; he wants to change your heart. Extraordinary comes when you, as a husband or wife, invite God to change you."

{From "Beyond Ordinary" by Justin & Trisha Davis}

I've been married for a decade. And, honestly, our marriage gets better each year. We've had our share of hard times, but we're figuring out how to get through them and come out stronger and more in sync. We're living a story that is far better than the one I scripted in my head when we spent most of our college days dating each other.

But I don't want to settle for our good marriage. I know God is always working and transforming and perfecting, and I want to embrace that. I want to let God make our marriage extraordinary.

I recently read "Beyond Ordinary" by Justin and Trisha Davis. Honestly, I got the first two chapters free online after I read on multiple blogs I follow about the book's release. So I figured I'd try it.

As soon as I finished Chapter 2, I ordered the entire Kindle version of the book from the comforts of my bed that night. You know, it's not often a non-fiction, self-help book reads like a page turner to the point I couldn't wait until morning to read a little more. I read the whole book in a few days, which, really, in this season of mothering a 3-year-old, always-on-the-move boy and a 5-year-old girl who constantly tells stories is rare.


"Oneness in marriage is restored as we ask -- and allow -- God to change us. Even if you spouse doesn't change, your marriage will be better because you will be changed."

{From Chapter 2: No Ordinary Battle}

I loved how both Justin and Trisha tell about their marriage. They take turns weaving together their story of  falling in love, settling for what is front of them, messing up by not tending to their relationship, and letting God transform them as individuals and as a family.

"Our marriage had been ordinary for so many years because I had allowed God to improve me, not recreate me. ... God promises to re-create you -- that is how committed to your healing he is. God doesn't want you to be better, he wants you to be brand new."

{From Chapter 10: No Ordinary Healing}

The memoir part of the story would stand on its own, but they don't stop there. While telling their story, they teach about bitterness, brokenness, selfishness, confession, oneness, grace, forgiveness, healing, intentional living, redemption and transformation. Yep, all those things, and, really, probably more, in one book. I've recommended it to my husband and three of my best girl friends. And now I'm recommending it to you.

I'm a big believer in remembering what God has done for you. The Davises talk about that in Chapter 4. What could have been a 19-day journey from Egypt to Canaan took the Israelites 40 years. And not because God is bad with directions.

"We will always be tempted to settle for ordinary in Egypt rather than walking with God through the wilderness to extraordinary. But God's greatest purpose for the people of Isreal wasn't where they were going; it was who they were becoming."

{From Chapter 4: No Ordinary Journey}

I want to have an extraordinary marriage for the next decade. And the ones after that. Justin and Trisha tell a story of redemption that should give us all hope that the best is yet to come if we'll trust God to heal our hearts and make us new.

Surprise! Trisha Davis has graciously said she and Justin would send one of readers {a U.S. mailing address only, please} a copy of "Beyond Ordinary." To enter, leave a comment telling me how long you've been married and a lesson your marriage has taught you. Then use the Rafflecopter giveaway below to earn additional entries and make note of your blog comment to officially enter. A winner will be selected at random on Feb. 1. If you want to go ahead buy a copy or two, you can do so here: Beyond Ordinary.


a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Learn more about Justin and Trisha Davis' ministry at refineus.org. You can also follow them on Twitter {Justin and Trisha}. I bought "Beyond Ordinary" for myself and wrote this review before I knew the Davis' would give away a copy to one of you. There is a compensated affiliate link used. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{Tiny Prints} 20% off your order until Jan. 30

Love is in the air!

Does your son or daughter have a classroom full of sweet friends? Maybe your church is busting at the seems with small friends who need some love in an envelope. Perhaps there are adults in your life who would love a picture of your sweet family.

Regardless of who you're wanting to love on this Valentine's Day, Tiny Prints has adorable cards that can be customized with your child's pictures and your own text in whatever fonts you choose. Tiny Prints also has great customized photo gifts and its sister company, Treat, has some awesome personalized greeting cards.

If you order by Jan. 30 and use the promo code 20JANSW you can save 20% on your entire order!
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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate links used. But, hey, I really do like ordering from Tiny Prints. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

ESFJ

I took a free personality test this week and immediately texted one friend and emailed another friend the results. They were the two friends who I knew would care about the four letters. In fact, they both knew their four letters without hesitation.

Holly's response to my ESFJ personality type? "I'm a little surprised you're a extrovert."

Read on. I like celebrating traditions. My husband
surprised me with these for  the 11th anniversary
of our engagement, which I wrote about yesterday.

Apparently I am. Extraverted. Sensing. Feeling. Judging.

Hmmm. So, of course, I had to consider whether I'm surprised I'm a extrovert. Really, I'm not. But I can see why Holly or someone else who knows how much I've been valuing my slow schedule that has allowed much time at home this month could be surprised.

My calendar this month has not been jam packed with appointments, playdates or commitments. Yes, I've taken a kid to the doctor, had a doctor's appointment of my own, driven carpool, met friends for lunch, ran errands when I needed to, cheered at basketball games, and had a school board meeting for my daughter's small, private school. But I've been able to be at home, where I've been able to relax, read three books, write for myself and you, play games with my kids, connect with new friends online, and dream.


Even so, it's in my relationships I find strength and wisdom and encouragement. God didn't create us to be alone, and I feel refreshed and energized when I'm living life with people close to me. Just because I'm labeled an extrovert doesn't mean I want to get in front of a crowd and speak. Trust me.

I often see contradictions in my personality, so I'm always amazed with a description of my type is so right. This one even mentions the "contradictory forces"!

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes. 

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others. 

ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen. {Um, yeah, you won't find me on stage and screen. A lesser part of my personality must slip in there ...} 

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner! 

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. ... 

As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around --germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. {I pay more attention to character flaws than germs!} Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; hyper-vigilant would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education. {Pretty sure you couldn't pay me enough to be a nurse or a teacher, but I get the point!}

{From ESFJ Profile on TypeLogic} 

Here is another description, courtesy Deb Brown: Warm hearted, popular and conscientious. Tend to put the needs of others over their own needs. Feel strong sense of responsibility and duty. Value traditions and security. Interested in serving others. Need positive reinforcement to feel good about themselves. Well developed sense of space and function. 

She goes on to list other characteristics, struggles and leadership styles. I thought several of these summed me up pretty well.

Leadership: Traditional take-charge yet take-care style.
Potential difficult area: Telling others what they ought/should be doing.
Tips for communication with ESFJs: Respect their feelings! Look them in the eye and respond to what they say. Mention points of agreement first. Be clear and specific. Lay out the steps whenever possible.

Your turn! Have you ever taken a personality test? Do you know your four letters? What do these generalizations say about you?
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You can take the personality test here. And then read about your results. Deb Brown has another good resource for deciphering your personality. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.