{Out of the Blue} Answered Prayer

Awaiting the informal formality of finalizing Cate's adoption, which was one of God's best surprises. 9.20.07.

For almost two years, I prayed to be pregnant. I didn't expect some immaculate conception, but I did expect all the vials of blood that were being drawn regularly to lead to information that would help. I thought when the doctor unblocked one of my two tubes, that our chances would improve. I took medicine that made me crazy. I saw a specialist two hours from my small town. All because I wanted to be pregnant. 

Kristen at Chasing Blue Skies is starting a new, weekly series on surprises. This week's question is: 

How did the Lord answer a prayer for you in a way that surprised you?

While I was busy praying to get pregnant and trusting my doctor who believed medicine was only part of the equation, the One who really is in control was orchestrating a story I couldn't see yet. An 18-year-old girl in Indiana was pregnant and praying for an answer to this surprise growing in her belly.

Before we went for what was our second visit to the reproductive endocrinologist in Nashville, Tenn., Greg and I agreed if the doctor recommended in-vitro fertilization, we would turn our attention to adoption. This seemed right for my emotions and body, the well-being of our marriage, and our finances.

So when the doctor said he thought our best chance of becoming pregnant would be in-vitro. Instead of sadness, I felt peace. It was the kind of peace of passes all understanding and I was so grateful to be experiencing that and not the emotions that mounted in the nearly two years of me praying and hoping and trying to be pregnant.

This was September 2006. We had no idea what adoption would be. I was worn out from telling doctors and nurses this infertility history with each medical step we took. I wasn't ready to answer social workers questions that would surely come with applying to an adoption agency. So we just waited and told friends and family and doctors and lawyers of our hope to adopt.

We didn't know yet that an 18-year-old girl was about a month into her pregnancy and her first semester of college.

Then on Christmas Eve, just three months later, my sister and her then-boyfriend-now-husband brought news better than any gift they could ever wrap in a box. They knew a girl who was looking for a couple to adopt her baby that was due in May.

After a phone conversation and some weeks of waiting, we ended up meeting this 18-year-old girl who was an answer to our prayers. I had prayed and cried and hoped and wanted to be pregnant. But, really, God knew the desire of my heart. I wanted a family. I actually didn't care anything about being pregnant. I just thought that's how I was "supposed" to have a family. Those years of praying were heard. I didn't even pray the "right" words, but God still knew. And he worked while I waited. And when the time was right, God answered my prayer in a way that surprised me.

Turns out, we were an answer to this girl's prayers too. She told us that when we looked via ultrasound at the baby growing in her belly and in our hearts in January 2007. She said it again over lunch that spring. I still tell her how grateful we are that she chose life for this baby who made me a momma.

God surprised me in one of the best ways of my life. That adoption process and the harder days of infertility leading up to it were a faith journey for me. I still like to tell the story because it's full of God's faithfulness and details that remind me He's the author of stories better than any I could script.
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I'm linking up today as part of the "Out of the Blue" series at Chasing Blue Skies. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Or follow me on Twitter.

{Compassion} Life in community

"They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

{Acts 2:42-47}

I've learned about community by living in it. I have four close friends who I text almost daily and usually see at least once a week, if not more often. I have a couple other dear friends who I would see regularly, if they just lived closer. I have ongoing conversation with one via email and am usually engaged in a game of phone tag with the other. Then there is a bigger circle of friends from church and who are friends of my closest friends with whom I share life  on a less frequent but still regular basis.

These are the people who brought me meals when we brought babies home. They are the ones who text me just to check on me. They are the ones I ask to help me with my kids when I need to go to the doctor and my mother-in-law isn't available. We brainstorm and problem solve and dream. We tackle frustrations. We organize parties and events. We pray for each other. Our kids don't know live apart from each other. We share dinners and game nights around my kitchen table. Sometimes our kids even share strep throat.

We share life. 

And it's in living like this that I learned the value of serving one another. God got my attention in the everyday moments through texts and phone calls, while sitting on the park bench watching our kids play, around the dinner table, and at baby showers and birthday parties. I want to help them when my friends are sick or stressed. I want to have their kids in my house. I want to make room for on my calendar. I want to give to them and learn from them.

It's because of these same relationships I'm spurred on to help others outside my tribe of people. Some of my favorite people to help are little ones who remind me of my own kids yet live lives in such different conditions in other countries. Sponsoring kids through Compassion International has become part of our life in community. These kids we've never met yet love already have found their ways into a birthday party and a church service. And their pictures are hanging from my real-life friends' refrigerators.

Won't you consider opening your community to these little people who need an extra dose of love?

Sponsor a Child

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I'm linking this post with fellow Compassion Bloggers sharing which Bible verses prompt them to serve others. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Or follow me on Twitter.

{#TellHisStory} Run your race

Yesterday at Madeira Beach, Florida.

We were going to run almost a mile from the condo that was ours for four nights to that green condo down

the beach. And back. As music spurred me on, I continually glanced toward the green condo and was tempted to turn around when we were almost there. The excuses filled my head: Running almost to the green condo is better than not running at all. I'm just doing this for myself, what does it matter how far I run? I still have to run back to our condo, so it's better to turn around now.

While these things are true, they aren't the Truth.

Then I noticed my shins weren't hurting like they had been back home on asphalt. Score another point for the beach being a good retreat for me. The sand gave my shins a break from feeling like they were pounding into Kentucky pavement. This fact gave me a burst of energy. Had you been running along side of me, you may not have actually been able to see it. But I could feel it. Inside myself.

Nothing God says in the Bible applies directly to how far I should/could/would run. But he does promise to finish what he's started. He does ask us to take care of bodies, where his spirit dwells. And he gives hope.

So as much as I wanted to, I didn't turn around early. I even made it by the flock of birds that I feared would fly near my head. {That's my husband threatening to scare them away as he runs in front of me. That is love.}

While I felt the tiredness in my legs, God reminded me that he'll replace our anxiety with his peace as we press through the temptation to quit. He'll be on the other side. He'll be there when it's time to turn around. And he'll be there when we're tired from yet relieved with finishing what we started.

Take heart, friends. Run through the finish line. 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow wearing and lose heart. 

{Hebrews 12:1-3}

Yes, glance ahead and know what's coming and where you're going. Maybe even give yourself a chance of scenery. But trust the maker of it all to get you there, past your fears, with earthly support by your side. The victory is coming because it's already won. A few nails sealed it. Today is the beginning of Lent, a season that anticipates the resurrection of our savior. What better time to commit to run the race before us. 

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I'm linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee and other storytellers. #TellHisStory is a chance to tell a story that connects your story to God's story. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Or follow me on Twitter.

{God-sized Dreams} Saying no ...

We have some household practices to protect our time together.

Our kids don't watch much TV and when they do, it's usually a DVD or a show on Netflix. And I'm picky about what I let them watch. Before we go see a movie, I read about it on Plugged In. {Mommas, if you've never used this site to read thorough reviews of movies, I highly recommend it.} And my kids get it. They know I think "Spongebob" has a bad tone and that I'm not ready for my adopted daughter to watch Rapunzel be raised by a woman who didn't birth her {She needs to understand adoption more before a twisted adoption story that's really more like kidnapping.} in "Tangled."

We waited until Cate was almost 5 to sign her up for any extra-curricular activity. She wanted to do ballet so we agreed to let her do the 45-minute classes once a week four months before her fifth birthday. That overlapped for a couple weeks with t-ball, but we have a general "one activity at a time" practice. It's for our kids and for us parents too.

We like to sit down for dinner together. Our kids are better behaved when they get their 11 hours of sleep at night. {I know this will change as they get older, but going to bed around 7 p.m. is where we are.} My girl started going to bed earlier {in the 7 o'clock hour instead of the 8 o'clock hour} when she started kindergarten in August because she was worn out from the full days at school. When we know we're going to be later than their usual bedtime getting home, like when we go to Racers basketball games, we try to incorporate some rest time.

Valuing our time as a family and what's in the best interest of our kids, we sometimes have to say no or make different arrangements. {The way we do it may look nothing like the way you do it. And that's OK.}

This is what came to mind when Holley Gerth encouraged us God-sized dreamers to "decide what you will decrease in your life so your God-sized dream has more room to increase. What do you need to say “no” or “not now” or “not so much” to so your dream can thrive? Sometimes even what’s good can crowd out what’s best."

Maybe you're wondering what this parenting philosophy has to do with my God-sized dreams? Well, there is asterisk next to my dreams of writing, adopting and living out this mission: I believe God has created and called me to communicate stories from my own life and others' lives for families to know God as the author and creator of every detail through writing, promoting and serving. But, more importantly, I believe God has called me to be a wife and mom first. Both of those roles are best lived out when I'm available and with my family.

Yes, I volunteer some time to serve on the board at my daughter's small, private school. But I don't serve on other boards I once did. I sometimes go eat a meal or scrapbook with my friends ... and without my kids, but it's a special treat.We plan lots of trips and activities to do together. We spend time with our friends and their families. We like to share our dinner table with others.

Yes, Cate is signed up to play t-ball in April, and we're looking forward to watching her games this spring and summer. Ben wants to play, I'm sure, because he wants to do anything she's doing, but he'll have to wait until he's a little older.

And while they're in school or playing nicely together {hey, it happens ...}, I'll write. When my husband is working while sit together on the couch once the kids have gone to bed, I may write. But the laptop is closed when it's time to eat dinner around our table and I'm learning how to step away when my family needs/wants me.

Our dinners aren't perfect. We often tell Ben to sit down. Cate always seems to have to use the bathroom right as I put the plates on the table. I often have reached a tired time of the day just before Greg walks through the door from work. But we're together. We're in this life together. And, really, that's the most important thing. I want to remember that saying "no" is sometimes really saying "yes."
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Tuesdays are God-sized Dream days around here and I'm linking this post along with many, many other dreamers on Holley Gerth's blog. You'll find encouragement, truth and community there. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Or follow me on Twitter.

Ben's big boy bedroom

Taaa-daaa! This is Ben introducing you to his new room. He's been sleeping up there a couple weeks now, but momma was behind on taking pictures. Pardon whatever is going on with his sorts. That what my 3-year-old boy looks like after dressing himself. Hey, he did it himself. 

So, anyway, mostly I was just ready to move him. He was outgrowing his nursery room, which is the smallest bedroom in our house. Plus, that room was right next to the main bathroom, so some mornings he woke up earlier than he would have if he hadn't heard Daddy getting ready for work.

Your Love Never Fails

We're in the middle of enjoying a long weekend in Florida, where my extended family gathered for my cousin's wedding. A beach wedding in February?! Yes, PLEASE, especially when you're a Kentucky girl like me.

So until regular posts resume, I give you this song that I turn up loud when it comes on the radio, which is often, and I have since downloaded so I can listen to whenever my heart pleases.


There is so much truth in it.

Nothing can separate us from God. {Romans 8:38-39}

God's love never fails. {Psalm 136}

His mercies are new every day. {Lamentations 3:22-23}

God stays the same through the ages. {Hebrews 13:8} And his love never changes.

Joy comes in the morning. {Psalm 30:5}

We don't have to be afraid. {Isaiah 41:10}

God loves us. {John 3:16} And his love never fails.

God makes all things work together for our good. {Romans 8:28}

Do you have a favorite song that encourages you these days?
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Weekend Words

The Joneses are Overrated :: I thought this Proverbs 31 devotion addressed a real, ongoing issue in our society while speaking everlasting truth. "When we cease making comparisons and instead willingly embrace our current lot in life, welcoming all that God will teach us through it, we will finally unearth the secret Paul knew. True contentment is not merely having what you want, it is wanting nothing more than what you already have."

What's Your Signature Struggle? :: This made me think about how what we fear most is near to what we want to protect and cherish most. Makes sense. Once again, Holley Gerth spoke to my heart like she was sitting at my kitchen table.
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{No More Perfect Moms} Get real!

I'd say Jill Savage wrote "No More Perfect Moms" just for me, but as part of the book's launch team and Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, I've learned I'm not alone in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection. It's in this spirit of community I've invited fellow mommas to share their imperfect lives this week. 

Today is the last day you can have a "mom university" delivered right to your computer when you buy Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." Buy the book and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. This works even if you buy the Kindle version. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.

Elly Gilbert is another member of the "No More Perfect Moms" launch team. And she's a fellow Kentuckian! I'm glad she took me up on my idea to swap blog posts and is sharing here today. 


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When I was a teenager in a previous century, the phrase “Get real!” was a common comeback used to remind your buddies they need a reality check. It was a sarcastic barb tossed around as we waded through the malarkey of high school. It was such a popular saying, it spawned a movie and a TV series of the same name.  It was a slang term, making light of someone’s pie in the sky idealism.

Now, as a mostly-grown-up wife and mom, I have to encourage myself to “Get real!” quite often, but I do it in a much different spirit. Now, getting real is less of a tongue-in-cheek retort and more of a mantra for living an authentic life. Now, getting real means seeing myself as who I truly am -- a redeemed child of the King and a reformed perfectionist.

Getting real means forgiving myself when dinner doesn’t quite turn out to look like the image on Pinterest. Getting real means loving my kids through their messes and mistakes. Getting real means swallowing my pride and inviting friends over to my slightly-less-than-Martha-Stewart home. Getting real means giving grace. Getting real means accepting grace, too.

For most of my adult life, I’ve held myself to an unrealistic standard of perfection. My kids should behave perfectly in public, as they wear their perfectly pressed matching outfits, of course. My home should be gracious and inviting. Dinner should be well balanced and picture perfect. I should be a respected and beloved teacher in my school. I should never be late or disappoint anyone at church as I lead Bible studies and participated in women’s ministry activities. I should be the perfect wife, too. Can’t forget that!

Unfortunately, reality has looked quite a bit different than I had hoped it would. As a result of my drive for perfection, I have missed out on many joyful moments with my family. My failed attempts at perfection made not only me miserable, but my family, too! It has taken some time and prayer on my part to realize that I would have to “get real” with myself. Instead of relentlessly pursuing perfection -- and finding myself woefully inadequate -- I will embrace the real moments and enjoy real life.

When that perfection bug starts to bite, I have to remind myself to “get real.” There may be flour on the floor and sticky fingerprints on my backdoor, but my kids are happy. The smudges of chocolate on their faces and traces of marker on their fingers are from the cookies we baked and the pictures we colored together.  I might have a pile of mismatched socks taller than me, but I have time for an impromptu dance party in the living room. 

I wish I’d started “getting real” years ago.

Elly Gilbert is a majorly imperfect but decidedly “real” wife, high school English teacher, friend, and mom living in the heart of Bluegrass Country. When she isn’t chasing her 6-year-old twin boys or having a girls’ day out with her 8-year-old mini-me daughter, she’s probably crocheting, cooking, reading, or napping. Elly blogs, albeit inconsistently, at http://theunquietlife.blogspot.com.  

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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate link used, but most of you know by now that embracing imperfection is the theme of my year and "No More Perfect Moms" has been a huge part of that. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{Five Minute Friday} Bare

I'm participating in Five Minute Friday, a link-up writing prompt at Lisa-Jo Baker's blog. This week the prompt is "Bare ..." 

Five minutes starts now. GO ... 

Usually when I volunteer at Cate's school, I help with making copies, cutting pieces for preschool craft projects, or other administrative-type chores. This is much more in line with my strengths than in-classroom projects. There also was that time I decorated a door. Whew.

Today I did some copying and cutting, but I also sat with the four kindergartners and listened as they read books. It was my girl and three boys. And I loved the sweet sound of their voices speaking the words. Some words came out naturally, others were newer and created some verbal stumbles.

And I had the fleeting thought about how hard our language probably seems to these new readers. Take homophones, for instance.

Like bare. And bear.

There are so many that come up in their little books. Red/read. Won/one. Blue/blue. Two/too/to. There/their/they're.

But they're learning. Reading, like most anything in life, is a process. It's such a skill that even now is changing their lives. They can read signs. And books. Their world is opening.


STOP.

Want to join us? Here are Lisa-Jo's rules: 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back here and invite others to join in. 3. Please visit the person who linked up before you and encourage them in their comments. That is like the one rule we all really care about. For reals.

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{No More Perfect Moms} Chasing Perfect

I'd say Jill Savage wrote "No More Perfect Moms" just for me, but as part of the book's launch team and Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, I've learned I'm not alone in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection. It's in this spirit of community I've invited fellow mommas to share their imperfect lives this week. 

Also this week you can have a "mom university" delivered right to your computer when you buy Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." Buy the book and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. This works even if you buy the Kindle version. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.

Let's welcome Emily Simmons here today. She's part of the God-sized Dream Team with me and I've enjoyed the grace and real-life moments she shares on her blog. 

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It's been a big, hairy crabbypants day. I haven't showered and I am covered in kid snot and bits of food. My hair is an unbelievable wreck (and has been for the past few months ... is it possible to have a bad hair year?). Mountains of laundry stand piled in the living room. The kitchen is full of dirty dishes and crumbs. The bathrooms need to be scrubbed. The floor desperately needs a vacuum. I haven't watched anything but Transformers, Power Rangers and iCarly all week.

I have worked full-time outside of the home, but being a stay-at-home mom is the most challenging job I've ever had.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my head was filled with shiny dreams of heartwarming moments, organized closets, tidy rooms and impeccably clean floors. On top of all that, we'd eat healthy delicious home-cooked meals each evening around our cozy table. I'd also find time to stay fit and indulge in my hobbies and wear something besides yoga pants.

How long have I chased those dreams of perfect?

Perfection is a myth, a fog that disorients and suffocates the well-meaning among us as we chase fleeting, changing images that dissolve into mist.

At the end of that long, grimy day as I cleaned up bowls of spaghetti and meatballs, a marinara-covered child hugged my leg. "I love that sketti, Mom! Thank you for makin' yummy sketti for me."

Grace.

Like a sweet rain, washing away the all the dirty residue of a long, exhausting day.

Children don't ask for perfect moms. They don't dream of impeccably clean floors or organized closets. Children need moms who are present and loving. Gentle touches to soothe boo-boos and warm arms to comfort fears. Soft words to heal a hurting heart and laughter to wash away worries.

So, sweet imperfect mama, stop chasing those misty illusions of perfect. That's not the mama your children need.

Your children just need you. All of you.

Bad hair and dirty floors and yoga pants and kid snot and all.
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Emily Simmons is a mother of two children and wife to a youth director living in Tampa, FL. She is addicted to true crime shows, Little Debbies and whales. She blogs about her crazy funny family and life at Emily Says. You can also follow her on Twitter and like Emily Says on Facebook. 
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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate link used, but most of you know by now that embracing imperfection is the theme of my year and "No More Perfect Moms" has been a huge part of that. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} On Being Perfect

I'd say Jill Savage wrote "No More Perfect Moms" just for me, but as part of the book's launch team and Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, I've learned I'm not alone in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection. It's in this spirit of community I've invited fellow mommas to share their imperfect lives this week. 

Also this week you can have a "mom university" delivered right to your computer when you buy Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." Buy the book and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.

Tonya Garrick is a God-sized Dream buddy of mine. She's a momma to boys and waiting on her adopted girl to come home. I love adoption stories, so I'm glad I've gotten a chance to start following hers. Let's welcome her here today!
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I remember when our oldest son was born, twelve years ago today. The “perfect mama” chase began. He deserved only the best, right? Then I realized that I am far from perfect, so this was going to be a challenge.

So many days of feeling guilty for his crying, his colds, his diaper rash, my frustration, my lack of sleep. (Why couldn’t I be more disciplined?)

I’ve realized over the years that this child of mine has turned me into a mother. I wasn’t a mother before. How could I be prepared? Our days together were not perfect, but so much better.

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him."

{Lamentations 3:22-24}

Then a second son was born. Boy, was he different. Here we go again! He was much more loud and needy. And different. Why couldn’t I figure out what he needed? What was wrong with me? I’m a pretty smart girl, I mean, really. The doctors didn’t seem too worried, but I knew. He wasn’t just a late bloomer. Cue the feelings of self-doubt and insecurity. I should have known sooner. My other son needs more attention, too.  Pile on the guilt.

Oh, it’s Sensory Processing Disorder? Autism? Oh. 

Now what? I’ll tell you.

This was the time (after the fall apart) that I realized something. My children were not a surprise to Him. Babies cry, they get sick, they fall down, they grow. They survive. We learn as we go. There’s no other way.  Autism did not surprise Him. He knew my boy was a quirky, hilarious, sensitive guy. He knew my oldest son would make the perfect big brother.

My abilities are no surprise to Him. He knows I’m impatient and flighty. (And goofy.)  He gave me these boys to parent right now, with all of their needs, with all of my needs. Because according to Him (and He knows better than me), I’m their perfect mother.
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Tonya is a southern girl who loves her family, coffee, traveling and a good book. Tonya and Sean have been married for 15 years and have two wonderful boys and one beautiful daughter waiting in Korea. A mom to a son with special needs, Tonya enjoys sharing her life experiences with others. Their family’s goal is to live out their faith daily.

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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate link used, but most of you know by now that embracing imperfection is the theme of my year and "No More Perfect Moms" has been a huge part of that. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} Remembering my worth and then laughing

Two fellow moms from Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms" launch team took me up on my invitation to swap posts sharing how we embrace imperfection. You've heard Wani's story earlier this week. Elly will share hers later this week. 

Continuing the "No More Perfect Moms" hype, I have stories on both their blogs today.
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... While observing this and trying not to think about how I just didn’t feel great, I said to my husband, “This house will never been clean again.”
Without hesitation, he said, “That’s alright.”

Then I realized he didn’t reassure me cleanliness and organization that meet my often-too-high standards would happen. But he did reassure me that my worth as a wife and mom wasn’t found in my housekeeping habits.

The crumbs will get swept. The piles will be organized and given and stored. Our heater is fixed and those dishes have been unloaded so others could be loaded. The laundry is a never-ending cycle, but, hey, I love these people who need to be clothed. ...

Go read the rest at Wani's World. 
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For five years, eight months and 23 days my daughter has misunderstood her middle name. 

We named her on our 4 ½-hour drive home the day we met her birth mom. God affirmed our adoption plan and relationship with her birth mom through so many details, including her name. Catherine Anna. Catherine for my mom and Anna for my husband’s grandma. Turns out Catherine is her birth mom’s middle name and Anna resembles part of her first name.

We call her Cate. But we often say “Catherine Anna” in both endearing and attention-getting tones. Plus she knows her initials spell C.A.T. I always attributed her liking of cats – other people’s and fictional ones because we don’t do pets, especially ones that make Momma and Daddy sneeze, here  in this house – to her initials.

So when she came home from kindergarten with her name written incorrectly, I couldn’t stop laughing. ...

Finish this story at The Unquiet Life. {Elly also has a giveaway going on that will land "No More Perfect Moms" in someone's hands!}

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Buy "No More Perfect Moms" this week and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. This works if you buy the Kindle version too. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu. Disclosure: Compensated affiliate link used. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} Let them eat pizza

I'd say Jill Savage wrote "No More Perfect Moms" just for me, but as part of the book's launch team and Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, I've learned I'm not alone in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection. It's in this spirit of community I've invited fellow mommas to share their imperfect lives this week. 

Also this week you can have a "mom university" delivered right to your computer when you buy Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." Buy the book and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. This works if you buy the Kindle version too. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.

Jenn King is here today sharing a glimpse into her life. And today is her birthday! Jenn and I became friends a couple years ago because we kept running into each other around our small town at birthday parties, in the preschool hallway, and when we picked up our CSA vegetables. My life is richer with her in it. 

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I've spent more time thinking about lunchboxes than I like to admit. I bought my kindergartner a fancy monogrammed one at least 6 months before she started school.  She would have been happy with the tin Hello Kitty option from Walmart, but no, I needed her to have the state-of-the art Land's End Cadillac of lunchboxes.

Only the best container would suffice for all of the whole-grain, organic, junk-free goodness I would lovingly create for her each morning. And for the first couple months of school, we all had what we needed and wanted: Chloe was happy taking her lunch and eating whatever I packed, and I was proud to tell whoever would listen that my daughter took her lunch every day. Each afternoon on the way home from school I would ask Chloe who she sat with at lunch and what the other kids near her had brought. Knowing that the lunch-bringers sat down together before the lunch-buyers, I made secret mental notes of which moms devoted the time to sending lunch. Those were the lucky kids, I thought. The kids I wanted my kid to befriend.

And then it happened. Chloe got in the car one afternoon, probably in October, and said she wanted to buy her lunch the following day. Pizza Day. I'm not exaggerating, I was devastated. At first I told her I would think about it; Daddy and I would talk about it; the three of us would discuss our options. And then I couldn't hold my tongue. Bringing lunch is so much healthier, I say. It's so much better for you. The school pizza is a greasy, fatty mess.

And don't even get me started on the accompaniments. Sidekicks? What the heck are sidekicks? They're french fries, Chloe tells me, but she doesn't like them because they're too crunchy. Well, at least I can hang my hat on that!  But then she says my fries are much better, and it's at that point that I know this is much bigger than cheese pizza. I don't think I've ever made fries, so I know she's just trying to make me feel better. I take a deep breath and tell Chloe she can buy pizza. She is pleased, and I am left to sift through what's really going on with my (over)reaction to her request.

Turns out, I am a food snob and I totally judge people's food choices. Ask my husband about the Diet Coke death glare. And the arguments over him not liking asparagus or goat cheese. And let's not forget the times I would have rather gone hungry than order Dominoes or succumb to the golden arches. Add to the eating-habit judgments a large dose of control-freakishness and self-doubt, and you have a recipe for disaster.

I used to pride myself on being a foodie. I would turn my nose up at the local restaurant options and insist on making everything I could from scratch. But when the Pizza Day drama brought everything to a head, I realized that my beliefs about food and how I should feed my family were keeping me from being the person I want to be. And I finally admitted that I don't like myself very much when I'm trapped inside my need to be perfect and feed just right. There's a reason I live in town where you can't get a good burger or a homemade tortilla.  There's a reason some of my very best friends use mixes to make brownies and others hand their kids a bag of chips at snack time. There's a reason the love of my life recently requested that I make corn dog casserole and chicken fingers. And there's a reason Chloe's lunch bag almost had to be thrown away recently because of an applesauce explosion.

I am not supposed to judge, and I am not supposed to hold myself and others to ridiculous standards of perfection.  It's OK if it's not organic. And if every plate I serve isn't overloaded with Super Foods. Sitting with my family and laughing while enjoying some Sonic corn dogs is a heck of a lot healthier than me yelling at my husband for wanting said corn dogs and forcing a my 4-year old to choke back one more kale chip. I don't want someone to like me or my kid because of which lunchbox she has, and I don't want my kids to feel like my love depends on what they want for breakfast.

Since my food-related come-to-Jesus, new gastronomic adventures have become available to me, right here in our little town: There's a place where I can order healthy stuff in bulk, a group of juicers I may join, and Kroger even got a sushi bar. I like to think these changes waited for me to be ready for them. I've also discovered an even cooler lunch box, and I will probably go ahead and buy it. But I don't feel like it has to be used every day. In fact, today's not even Pizza Day and Chloe wants to buy her lunch. I'm saying yes to chicken nuggets (they come with a whole grain roll, after all!) and I'm not worrying a thing about it. But you'd better believe tonight we're eating in!
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Jenn is a 36-year-old mother of three lively daughters, ages 6, 4 and 13 months. She and her husband chose the small (to them!) town of Murray, KY to grow their marriage and their children, create a home and build a neurology private practice, in that order. Jenn doesn't work outside the home, but there's not much staying in the house involved, either! She enjoys being in community, cooking, creating any- and everything, and capturing life through picture-taking.
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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate link used, but most of you know by now that embracing imperfection is the theme of my year and "No More Perfect Moms" has been a huge part of that. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{God-sized Dreams} Waiting

I don't wait well. 

When I get an idea, I like to go with it. When we pick dates for a trip, I like to plan it. We were engaged for six months, and I would have been OK getting married a couple months earlier.

I've had a book idea for years. And I've written on it little bits at a time during those years. It's not long, like you may think a book should be after years. Well, OK, I sometimes think years should equate to many, many pages. But, really, it's the kind of book that will be best if it spans time.

To give it more time means to wait. It means holding on my God-sized dream longer so it can develop more thoroughly. It means writing little bits at a time for awhile longer while the story unfolds.

Last week Holley Gerth challenged us God-sized dreamers to share an experience that answers these questions: What’s one fear you’ve faced when it comes to your God-sized dream? And what’s the truth that’s bigger than that fear?

I'm not sure I'd would have labeled waiting as a fear. But I've been thinking about it lately and realized this: Often I don't like to wait because I'd rather be in control. Waiting means depending on someone else's schedule, which they probably don't have control over either. Waiting means soaking up the moment and not wishing for tomorrow. Waiting means that I'm not in control. Perhaps this book idea I've had and continue to develop is God's way of helping me learn to wait on his perfect timing.

The truth is God's timing is perfect. My idea can be even better if I wait on the ultimate giver and creator. 

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!

Psalm 27:14

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37-3-4

I have this rough {rough!} draft of my book idea. I sent it to a stranger who is becoming a friend. She offered encouragement and truth. When I read her words on my computer screen, the idea that I needed to wait and develop and expand and build and tell more of a story was confirmed. I am thankful God works like that. He gives us assurance that we're doing the right thing and he's not finished yet. He whispers wait.
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Tuesdays are God-sized Dream days around here and I'm linking this post along with many, many other dreamers on Holley Gerth's blog. You'll find encouragement, truth and community there. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} Thoughts from a Recovering Perfectionist

I'd say Jill Savage wrote "No More Perfect Moms" just for me, but as part of the book's launch team and Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, I've learned I'm not alone in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection. It's in this spirit of community I've invited fellow mommas to share their imperfect lives this week. 

Also this week you can have a "mom university" delivered right to your computer when you buy Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." Buy the book and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. This works even if you buy the Kindle version. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.

Courtney French is here today. We met more than five years ago. It was a couple weeks after I became a stay-at-home mom and I had a 5-month-old girl in my arms when I walked into a mom's group that met at her house. Let's welcome one of my dearest friends here just like she did me into the mom's group and ultimately her life. 
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I have been a perfectionist my entire life. When I was in elementary school I would get throw up when I didn’t get a perfect score. My stomach would be in knots every time there was a conflict between friends. Carrying this into high school, I became sick when relationships were not going right. I was very self conscious about how I looked. My clothes and hair had to be just so. 

I gave up things {that I might have learned to enjoy} when I didn’t do them perfectly. I beat myself up mentally when I answered questions in class, critiquing myself, thinking of everything that I thought I should have said differently. I am a very task-oriented person, and love lists. I have a terrible habit of making a to-do list for myself that is not attainable, then am frustrated when I can’t check everything off my list.

Being a perfectionist carries over into every relationship. The first fight you have with your spouse is devastating because even though you know relationships are not going to be perfect, some little part of you still expects that! When your child throws a fit in public for the first time, it rocks your world and you feel like a bad mom because it is so embarrassing. Any kind of conflict with friends and family members is extremely hard because you just want everyone to get along! You end up setting such high expectations for yourself (or anyone else for that matter) that you always end up with disappointment.

Being a perfectionist carries over into all of life. Not a hair out of place. When you cook, you want it to be perfect. Holidays should be magically perfect. Decorating cakes, well, that is a challenge for a perfectionist! Homeschooling is also a challenge and should be perfect ... complete with a perfect schedule and exciting learning activities for the kids.

Perfectionism puts pressure on us moms to be the perfect moms. Balancing kids, school, schedules, extracurricular activities, hobbies, relationships, church, and finding ways to serve others and our community can be stressful. So many plates spinning in the air, and we try to find a way to keep them all going when what eventually happens is one of them falls and breaks ... and our idea of a perfect day/season falls apart.

Lately I feel like the Lord is gently nudging me to let go of the perfectionism. We put our house up for sale in May 2012 and spent the entire summer keeping it “perfect” for showings. Then we ended up selling it in August ... during our first week of school. This is a challenge for any mom, but for this homeschooling mom, it was exceptionally hard for me to figure out how to balance it all. I had come up with {what I thought was} a great schedule this year and had added a new way of learning/organizing our day ... when WHAM ... we have to pack it all up and move it into a different place. 

I wondered: How do I keep teaching my kids (and doing it well!) while we pack up a house and move? How do we unpack and get settled while trying to complete house projects and school? We moved into the new house the end of September and have had lots of days of crazy schedules, living out of boxes, and unpacking. 

There has hardly been a “normal” day since we moved. Right off we faced major plumbing problems in the house. Arrangements had to be made to get those fixed, and also make sure we were not using too much water in the house in the meantime (which is really fun with kids ... ). We had to have a day without water for it to be fixed. We painted four rooms, replaced carpet, had a yard sale, put together new furniture, replaced outlets/light fixtures, hung curtains, organized rooms, replaced locks, had to rearrange days to meet the cable and utilities guys, and all those other things that you do when you move. 

We have had unexpected trips this year, a death in our family and educational events -- all things that messed with our schedule this year. Days when I had *hoped* to have a “normal” schedule, other things have come up, such sickness. It just seems to be one thing after the other this year!

Moving has forced me to let go of some of those perfectionist expectations and just roll with what comes every day. I feel like God is trying to help me let go of being a perfectionist ... with my schedule {and I definitely think schedules are good, but not if you are a slave to them}, my relationships, and the state of my house! 

My job is not to make everything perfect. God doesn’t expect perfection from us. If He did, we would have no need for Him! The thing that I want to learn during this season of “letting go" is to embrace imperfections in my relationships, with my children, my schedule, my house, you name it. I want to step over the train tracks that frequently take up part of the floor {with a smile}, take more breaks to play games and dance with my kids, be extra gracious with others when disappointments/hurt feelings come, and let the laundry and dishes go sometimes when I feel my body telling me it is time to take a break. I want to enjoy and live life to its fullest, relax and trust God. I want to quit comparing myself to how I think others are and enjoy being who God made me to be. 

I want to trust God to help use my imperfections to draw me closer to Him, knowing that 2 Corinthians 12:9 is true: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." I also want to trust in Romans 8:28: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

This life is a race. It is not a sprint, but a marathon, especially motherhood! It is a long process as we raise children. It takes time, pain, hard work, energy and strength, just as running a marathon does. To do this successfully, we have to keep running and keep our eyes up. If we look down, we will fall. If we look around us, we may run into something or get off track. We must keep our eyes up and focused.

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

{Hebrews 12:1-2}

So ... if you come to my house, please ignore the mess. It’s more important for me to see you! If it seems that nothing is out of place, it’s probably in a closet somewhere. If you see me in Walmart in sweats and a hat, give me a high five ... that is a big step for this perfectionist! If my kids aren’t behaving as they should, please pray for extra patience. If I stick my foot in my mouth, please give me grace. None of us are perfect, none of us have it all together! We are all in this race together, so let’s help cheer each other onto the finish.

2013 is my year of giving up perfectionism. Will you join me?

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Courtney French is a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of two kids. She likes scrapbooking, crafting, decorating cakes and playing the piano. When she's not mothering, she's volunteering as a nurse at a local medical clinic that serves the uninsured working population. 
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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate link used, but most of you know by now that embracing imperfection is the theme of my year and "No More Perfect Moms" has been a huge part of that. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} Permission to be Imperfect

I'd say Jill Savage wrote "No More Perfect Moms" just for me, but as part of the book's launch team and Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, I've learned I'm not alone in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection. It's in this spirit of community I've invited fellow mommas to share their imperfect lives this week. 

Also this week you can have a "mom university" delivered right to your computer when you buy Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms." Buy the book and receive FREE resources worth more than $100. This works even if you buy the Kindle version. Here is the list of what you'll get when you email your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.

Wani Penrod is a fellow member of the "No More Perfect Moms" launch team and I'm glad she went along with my idea to swap posts to share about this book that has found its way into our lives. She blogs about her life and seems to be quite crafty. I'm glad she's here today!

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I get the perfectionist part of myself from my mother. She knows how she wants something and she wants it done right. And I have a tendency to be that way sometimes too. That is not always necessarily a bad thing. But we have to have boundaries with others and with ourselves. We have to be able to assess a situation and determine whether our standards are realistic. I have not always had this perspective. Shocking, I know!

There is this weird thing about being a perfectionist ... sometimes you get so overwhelmed by the knowledge that you cannot meet your own expectations that you are basically crippled by it. Sometimes I have opted to avoid a project or task altogether rather than do it "sub par." But in life we cannot always put off things that can't be completed "perfectly." We need to press on and do our best and accept that it's better to do something "good enough" than to not do it at all.

I recently read an article online titled "The Hamster Wheel of Perfection" that talked about how the Christian community should provide a place where broken people get healed, not where we feel wrong for expressing our humanness. We often feel like we have to put on our church clothes and happy face when we are with other believers. But we are doing ourselves and our friends a disservice by trying to hide behind a happy face when we are struggling or hurting inside.

"No More Perfect Moms" welcomes moms in all stages and phases to let go of the stress of trying to be perfect and helps them to embrace just being themselves! Motherhood is hard work that never ends and just doing our best is all we can ask of ourselves or anyone. The stories from Jill Savage and other moms are easy to relate to and give reassurance that we are not alone in our imperfection.

It is very liberating to put aside perfectionism and embrace grace -- both for the sake of ourselves and for others. We all of a sudden have the freedom to let our house be seen in its natural state of semi-chaos instead of never having company because we never feel our house is clean enough. We are able to share openly with friends about the struggles we go through as moms that we thought were unique to us but are really something that many other moms struggle with also. Sharing our burdens makes them a lighter load to bear. The God we serve loves us all just as we are, imperfections and all ... so can't we love ourselves and each other that way as well?
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Wani is a Christian stay-at-home mom with two sons and a beautiful daughter. She does a little photography on the side. She loves being able to capture people's personalities and special moments. She is a born-again, Bible-believing wife, mother, friend, photographer, sister, daughter, aunt, and cook as well as an aspiring scrapbooker, seamstress, decorator, and blogger. Her blog is a journal of her family's experiences as they navigate through the world of home education and special needs. It's a wild ride!
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Disclaimer: Compensated affiliate link used, but most of you know by now that embracing imperfection is the theme of my year and "No More Perfect Moms" has been a huge part of that. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.

{No More Perfect Moms} Perfect start to embracing imperfection

I've been talking about this book that has helped transform my perspective. Now it's available for anyone, and, really, every mom should read it! "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage is now available! Plus you're going to get all kinds of extra goodies {worth more than $100 and outlined below!} if you buy the book this week.

I'd say I feel like this book was written just for me, but as part of the book's launch team, I've learned I'm not alone ... in both craving perfection and wanting to rid my life of perfection! Plus my friends and I swap stories on a regular basis that remind me I'm not alone. Stay tuned this week because I have six fabulous guest posts lined up for you!

Since December, this launch team has been interacting in a private Facebook group that has been filled with real-life stories, prayer requests, advice, encouragement and conversation. Jill Savage has been active and real with those of us who are gaining so much insight for her.

I'm glad the book is officially out there. I know it's going to help so many families. Also as part of the launch team, I wrote a review on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com and Christianbook.com.

We run late because sometimes getting kids – or even a kid! – to move in a timely fashion is like herding cats. We clean up spills. Sickness interrupts our plan for the day. We have misunderstandings with the people we love most. The dishes fill the sink and the dirty clothes await their turn in the washer then the dryer.

Then while dealing with our daily lives, we start comparing and organizing and planning and expecting more than is realistically possible for ourselves, our husbands, our kids, and our friends.

This Perfection Infection, as Jill Savage calls it, needs to stop. Savage tells true tales that give readers practical advice on how to find freedom in reality while entrusting every detail of our lives to God. She discusses how to love your real life without perfect kids, bodies, marriages, friends, days and homes.

As a mom of two kids 5 and younger, I appreciated the way Jill Savage took real-life examples from her own mothering experience and stories friends have shared with her to help me remember I’m not the only mom who has tried too hard, reacted too emotionally, wondered what I should do, and struggled to let go.

If you're a mom who has ever felt exhausted, stressed, anxious, overworked, insecure, unsure, or busy {OK, so, any mom, really ...}, this book could be the perfect start to embracing your imperfect life.

Everyone loves a good investment…especially one that comes with a big bonus! This is one of those investments that you don’t want to miss!

Purchase Jill Savage’s new book "No More Perfect Moms" anytime today through Feb. 9 {online or at a store ... and yes, electronic versions for the Kindle and Nook count too} and you'll be given access to more than $100 worth of resources that will help you on your mothering journey -- absolutely free! Send a copy of your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu. Scan it or take a picture of it -- just be sure to send it to the email.

What resources will you receive?

6 hour-long audio workshops (MP3 format) from Hearts at Home

• Desperate for Wisdom - Dr. Juli Slattery
• How to Fight for Your Marriage - Dr. Juli Slattery
• It is Well with Your Soul - Jennifer Rothschild
• Multiple Intelligences - Dr. Kathy Koch
• Ten Stress Strategies Every Mom Needs - Jill Savage
• The God Who Sees You- Tammy Maltby

4 printables from Hearts at Home

• 10 Stress Strategies Every Mom Needs
• “Love Is” - I Corinthians 13 for Parents
• Mom Rules
• How to Fight Fair In Marriage

3 free e-books (including PDF, Kindle, iPad, and Nook editions!) from Moody Publishers

• "Live Free" by Kendra Smiley
• "Growing Grateful Kids" by Susie Larsen
• "Real Moms Real Jesus" by Jill Savage

1 Hearts at Home Conference contest entry
You will be entered in a drawing to win hotel accommodations and two Hearts at Home Mom Conference registrations for you and a friend at a conference of your choice! (If unable to attend a conference, a Hearts at Home Conference To-Go will be substituted for the winner and a friend.)

This offer is available for this week only! Grab a copy of "No More Perfect Moms," scan your receipt, email it, and start enjoying your new book plus all of the extra bonuses you’ll receive! It’s a “mom university” delivered right to your computer!

You can buy the paperback or the Kindle version through these Amazon links, but it's available at plenty of other bookstores too. If you decide to read this book and, more importantly, embrace its message, I'd love to hear about it. Leave a comment below or email me at kristinhilltaylor (at) gmail (dot) com.
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Disclaimer: Compensated Amazon affiliate links used. I received my own copy of "No More Perfect Moms" as part of the book's launch team, but I'm choosing to embrace its message and these opinions are mine. You can read my earlier posts about embracing imperfection here. Want more? Subscribe to get "Insights" in your inbox. Or follow me on Twitter.