Welcome home, mini van.

You may have heard, I totaled our mini van last month. Totaled as in wrecked. Once I got over the emotional distress of the wreck, I really just missed my van. I missed the space. I missed the ease of having kids get in and out. I missed the automatic sliding doors {even though only one of them was actually working ...}. I missed sitting up high but not being as wide as the Yukon I was borrowing. I missed not being able to hand my 3-year-old boy a wipe at a red light when the sucker the bank teller gave him had turned to red liquid was streaming down his face.

{I should say here I'm totally grateful my mother-in-law let me borrow her eight-passenger Yukon, which I kept calling a monster truck because I thought I was going to run over every other vehicle in any parking lot I had to navigate. Many of my in-laws have their CDL to drive buses. I am not in that group.}

I know of two well-read blogs {MiniVansAreHot and Rage Against the Mini Van} that have titles dedicated to the resistance that some moms have with driving a mini van. While I totally appreciate these mommas' words and stories, I don't understand why someone with more than one kid wouldn't want to drive a mini van. I'm not joking. 

While keeping his eyes out for what I'd requested, the manager of the local Chrysler dealership emailed me and asked, "Does it have to be a mini van? Does it have to seat seven people? I have some nice, small SUVs." No need to think about my response: Yes. And yes. I knew what I wanted to a replace my red 2006 Chrysler Town & Country: Another Chrysler Town & Country. Color and year were negotiable.

I did look at other brands of mini vans at another local car dealership, but none of them had the features I wanted: automatic sliding doors, stow-and-go storage and preferably no DVD player. I guess the stow-and-go storage is a Chrysler and possibly Dodge Caravan feature. Nothing like an organizational feature to keep me loyal to a vehicle company.

Needless to say, I was excited to find a used mini van with the features I wanted in our price range when we were in Louisville after Christmas celebrating with my family. Thank you, Internet, for allowing me to search used mini vans with in a 30-mile radius of my mom's house so easily.

By looking at the photo above, my daughter was happy for the return of a mini van. She and I were running some errands while we were in the big city after picking up the new-to-us blue 2008 Chrysler Town & Country. I said, "Hey, do you want to pose with our new van?" No hesitation, just this smile.

At this rate, my girl will want to drive a mini van the minute she turns 16. Hey, a momma can hope, right?
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always never alone

Photo by Angela Taylor

I cried a very ugly cry and verbally vomited my overwhelming emotions all over my husband when he got home from work today. Some of it unfortunately spewed on my two kids who pay attention when I wish they wouldn't and make me wonder if they hear me other times of the day. Then in the midst of the ugly, ugly moments of me retelling how I cried and felt alone while cleaning out my wrecked mini van, truth broke through the mouth of my 5 1/2-year-old girl.

"Momma, you weren't alone. Jesus is always with you."

Seriously.

I was still crying, but inside I was rejoicing.

Because she's right. And she's been paying attention to the things that really matter and not just my spewing, crying mess.
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Cleaning up and cleaning out

I had a to-do list today while both my kids were in school: Order cupcakes. Get blood drawn. Call back insurance adjuster. Clean out wrecked mini van. Start looking for new-to-me mini van. Pick up consignment money. Pick up prescription.

Crying while cleaning out my van wasn't part of my plan. It wasn't that there was more stuff stored throughout my van than I realized. It wasn't that I was saying good bye to a machine that has served us well and taken us to many places. It was the what-if scenarios running through my mind. It was the replaying of the other car crashing into a tree.

And I'm guessing the logistics of cleaning up after my wreck sparked an overflow of emotions. In the grand scheme of life, this isn't that bad. Sure, it's inconvenient. Of course, it's something I wish my kids hadn't experienced. But I know people suffering worse and I know people I don't know have problems that don't even compare.

We're blessed. We're safe. And we're surrounded by a community of people I wouldn't trade for a brand-new Chrysler Town & Country.
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A wreck of a day

Angels we have on heard high

Sweetly singing ore the plains

And the mountains in reply

Echoing their joyous strains

Gloria in excelsis Deo

My 5-year-old girl and her 6-year-old classmate were singing this Christmas carol behind me in my mini van while my 3-year-old son was adding in his own boyish sounds. We were almost to the big kids' school and I eased into an intersection, continuing on the small residential road toward the drop-off site and apparently into the path of the car I hadn't seen coming full speed on the bigger highway.

It was loud. It happened fast. And as my mini van slowed into the yard on the corner of the intersection, I saw the small red car keep sliding through the wet grass into the tree.

Time seemed to stand still yet speed along in the same instant. Perhaps that's what surreal means.

I turned around to the three kids in the back seat. The boys were speechless. My girl was spouting questions about the logistics of what had happened and what it meant would happen. I pushed open my slightly jammed door to check on the other driver. Her airbag had deployed and her door wouldn't open, but her window was down and she talked to me. She kept asking me if the kids were alright. I assured her they were and that I'd call 911.

Again, time was a funny thing. It seemed to take the emergency responders awhile to get there, but I'm guessing it wasn't really that long. I called my husband. A mom from the school stopped, helped calm my shaken-up nerves and then took the big kids to school while I awaited the police, my husband and a tow truck. The volunteer fire department showed up first. Then EMS. And then the sheriff's deputies.

I cried. I had been crying. And I cried some more. I told the police what happened. And I heard the fire and medical workers carefully getting the woman out of her car. The longer it took them, the more I cried. The school principal who has become my friend heard from another mom who drove by I had been involved in a car wreck, so she came to see if I needed anything. Apparently I needed a friend. She literally shouldered my tears, reminded me of God's faithfulness and provision, kept me from staring at the EMS guys loading the other driver onto a stretcher and into a neck brace. My husband showed up. The tow truck came and we made a plan for my wrecked van's destination.

And all the while my boy sat in his car seat looking at the fire truck parked right next to us.

Come to Bethlehem and see

Christ whose birth the angels sing

Come adore on bended knee

Christ the Lord the newborn King

Gloria in excelsis Deo

I probably cried again. And then I got it together to go check on my girl and our friend at school. I left with a heart full that she goes to school where she does, where I felt loved this morning in this small community, where her teacher reminded her she was safe, where the principal acted more like my friend and called me after lunch to give me an update on her conversation with my girl and check on me. My husband arranged for me to borrow a vehicle from his mom.

On the way to drop off my boy at his preschool, I texted a few close friends and asked them to pray for the other driver. I couldn't stop thinking about her. She seemed to have come from nowhere into that intersection, but when I pulled into her path, she came into my mind. And stayed there for much of the day.

After I'd stopped crying and was getting ready to leave the scene in my husband's car, I asked the policeman if I could get the other driver's name so I could check on her later. Well, apparently, he didn't write it down. Rather he just had our driver's license numbers and insurance policy info. Of course, he also had the names and birthdates of the three kids in my vehicle. But not the driver's name. I left praying I could get an update on her condition at some point, preferably before the seven to 10 working days I was told to allow for the official police report.

We got the back-up vehicle. My husband talked to the insurance company, which is sending an adjuster to look at my mini van tomorrow. I talked to a couple people on the phone. And then I managed to lock the borrowed keys and my spare house key in my house when I stopped at home to change my socks, shoes and jeans, all still wet from the morning grass made messier by our tire tracks.

Yep. My husband had to come rescue me again. Second time in two hours.

I managed to safely maneuver the much-larger Yukon I'm temporarily driving through the crowded Post Office parking lot and then meet a friend for lunch. She asked if I wanted to reschedule our already planned lunch, but I thought lunch with a friend and none of our kids may be just what I needed. And it was for more than one reason.

One reason: Her friend is an emergency room doctor at the little hospital where the other driver was taken this morning. So she texted him to see if he could give her an update on the lady's condition. A couple hours later, she told me the other driver had been discharged from hospital because she was doing OK. Thank God. Plus her company was good for my soul.

See him in the manger laid

Whom the choirs of angels praise

Mary, Joseph, lend your aid

While our hearts in love we raise

Gloria in excelsis Deo

Another friend brought me flowers. And I got teary-eyed as I read all the encouragement posted on my Facebook status. Other friends and relatives have texted. And I'm reminded that I'm not in this life alone. I'm thankful for God's protection and the community in which he's built around me. And for my little family who loves me, even when the dinner I make fails and we decide to go to Zaxby's, where kids eat free on Mondays, just 30 minutes before my husband is supposed to be at a meeting. He was a little late. But our bellies and hearts were full.
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swim, swim, swim

Cate has swim lessons every day [for 30 minutes] this week. And, well, because we already had our swimsuits and towels out, we went swimming two additional times Tuesday, another time Thursday, and once again today. That's in addition the swim lessons at the city pool each morning.

Tuesday included trips to the pool at Greg's aunt and uncle's house and later to friends' lake house. After swim lessons Thursday, we stayed at the public pool with some friends ... and many, many other people who weren't scared away by the threat of rain, which eventually came. This afternoon was spent hanging out with my sister-in-law Angela and her kids in their backyard pool.

I didn't look like I had overstayed my welcome in the sun ... until today.

And, you know, I didn't take any pictures until today. Yes, I had my camera, but, really, you know, it can be difficult to watch two kids in and around the water, keep my camera dry, manage to get some sun myself, AND take pictures.

But Cate is really good at jumping in and letting herself go under, thanks to five consecutive swim lessons. Want to see?

[No, she didn't jump on top of Ethne, like is may appear. Yes, that is our new van* in the background!]

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*In addition to swimming this week, I drove a 2006 Chrysler Town & Country minivan that I knew I wanted to own once I sat in it. Although I had been driving it since Tuesday afternoon, it officially became ours this afternoon -- just hours after we sold my Alero [thanks to Craigslist!] to a dad who was buying it for his daughter.

catching up ... with a hibachi grill, a day at the water park and some fishing

How about a catch-up post? We've been busy. Want to see?

First, on Thursday night, I went to a hibachi grill restaurant (Yes, we have one of those in Murray!) for the first time. It was a delightful time with some good friends and new friends.

Yes, I will be going back to Shogun again. The food was delicious!

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I spent six hours in the sun at Venture River water park on Friday. Yes, I took both kids. I went with two other moms and their combined four kids. We had a smooth day and even Ben enjoyed the water. He especially loved the ride in the lazy river (I mean, seriously, who doesn't?) with Cate and I sharing a double tube and him on my lap. He giggled and babbled the whole time. All three of us went down the family tube ride a few times. My arms got a work out when I hauled that tube up the hill while holding Ben, but it was worth it. We spent most of our time in the kiddie play area.


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Saturday afternoon/evening was spent at a fellow attorney's house, fishing and eating fish. Greg was especially excited, and it paid off with him reeling in the big catch of the day.

Cate and her Dora rod caught many, many fish.

At first, Ben wasn't so sure of the grass.

That is my favorite picture from the day. Seriously. I love the reflection, the flag and my daughter.

She went swimming. In her clothes. And someone gave her bubble gum. Which is swallowed soon after.

That's the big catch of the day. It didn't make it into the fryer because all of this smaller friends were already cooking.

Yep, that's my daughter at the end of the night. I didn't have an extra shirt for her after her swim.

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In other news, we've been test driving a mini van this weekend. I'm sold on the idea of having one (although that only took about 6 minutes of driving it and one loading/unloading of the two children), but I think we're going to look for something with less miles than what is currently temporarily sitting in our driveway.

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And, believe it or not, there are more photos in my Facebook album. Yes, I have been camera happy, as usual.

Memory Lane

I haven't heard them or seen them now that we're all grown-ups, but the New Kids on the Block are back together again. I have to wonder if I'll still think Joey is the cutest. In my own world, it seems rather appropriate that NKOTB are taking a chance at a comeback.

I keep catching myself reminiscing.

I think it really started when I watched the 19-episode series of "My So-Called Life" on DVD. Mom remembered how much I loved the show in 1994, (Gosh, that's 14 years ago!) so she bought me the DVDs for my birthday.

Angela Chase is always thinking and talking about what she's thinking. I can relate to that. And she's in love with Jordan Catalano, who is completely different from her. Yet they connect. They know each other beyond what's on the surface. The whole thing had me walking down Memory Lane.

Then yesterday when I was driving to Owensboro, I heard Wilson Phillips on the radio. I guess that's what I get for forgetting my CDs. Seriously, though, I left it on, and sang "Hold On" to Cate.

(For the record, I don't sing well, and I certainly don't sing directly to other people. But this other person is a year old and she'll never remember that obnoxious moment!)

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day

And the trip to Owensboro itself kept me on Memory Lane. I went to have lunch with Mrs. Quigley, who can best be described as my second childhood mom. Her daughter, Katie, is my dearest, closest friend. She's the kind of friend I can connect with just by the way we say "hello" on the phone, even if we haven't talked in weeks. She's the kind of friend that I miss pretty much every day of my life because there was a point in our lives we saw each other every day.

So, anyway, her mom hadn't seen Cate since Memorial Day weekend last year, so a visit was well overdue. We visited, ate lunch and shopped a little. I was really glad to reconnect and share my daughter with someone who had quite an influence in my teen-age life.

Later in the trip, I heard Jewel's song "Stronger Woman" on the radio, a country radio station, I'd like to point out. I like that Jewel is considered country these days so I can hear her because that's mostly what I listen to, especially on the radio. Anyway, I really love this song.

... Well from now on I’m gonna be
The kind of woman I want my daughter to be,
I’m gonna love myself
More than anyone else
Believe in me
Even if someone can’t see
A stronger woman in me
I’m gonna be my own best friend,
Stick with me till the end
Won’t lose myself again
Never, no
Cause there’s a stronger woman,
Stronger woman

Cate was a trooper. We spent about 5 hours in the car, traveling 312 miles. She took a nap there and nap on the way home.


I just sang along with the radio and thought about how I could have never planned my life. (Well, that's when I wasn't on the phone!) High school and college were good times for me. I love the relationships I build during those years, and I cherish the ones I still have today. But I really love where I am right now. My life is simple in many ways, and I love feeling free from complications. And I love having Cate along for the ride.

I know how fast my life has gone from a 15-year-old thinking my life wouldn't start until my friends could drive to counting down the days until I could start fresh at Murray State University to wanting to be finished with school to finding a job to being surprised with my boyfriend at my apartment door with a ring for me to moving back to place I thought I'd never live again to working at a community newspaper that was a better experience than I could have ever imagined to trusting God to give us a baby to quitting that job I loved because I was more in love with my daughter.

It seems so quick. And I don't want to miss these moments now. I want to cling to the details that are my life. Because, frankly, it's nice not to be planning for what's next. It's nice to be free to live.

Trace Adkins apparently knows how I feel.

You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this

a summer weekend

I really love Memorial Day because it feels like the opening of summer. (Yes, I know summer officially begins in June, but I think 90 degree temperatures make calling this summer a fair assessment.)

So, here's a run down of our summer weekend.

Our college friends Laura and Dave and their two children -- Gillian (2 1/2) and Phillip (6 months) were in town to visit. Laura and I let the guys keep the kids while we yard saling Saturday morning. And then we spent the afternoon catching up while the kids napped and the guys played golf. That evening we all went out to dinner when our Lexington friends Rod and Corbitt also stopped by to visit.


As you can see, Gillian was quite fond of Cate.

Sunday was a shower for Cate. Jaclyn did a beautiful job planning it and I, of course, loved showing Cate off. We got lots of nice (and many practical!) gifts. That night we had a cookout with some other friends from college who were in town for the shower.

Monday included another cookout and some time by the pool at Greg's aunt and uncle's house. It's become a tradition -- and a great one to ring in summer. That picture at the top of my blog (for those of you who actually read this far down ...) is Cate with Nana. Nana loves rocking and holding babies, but she and Cate have a special bond because Cate's middle name Anna is Nana's first name. (I just realize this week that the letters in Nana can be changed around to make Anna. I wonder if someone planned that ...)

Then last night Greg and I settled in on the couch to watch a few (maybe one more than a few ...) episodes of "Lost." We're not quite half way through the first season and I'm addicted. It's a really intriguing show and I love how the characters' stories are told through flashbacks while they're stranded on the island.

Another update: My car isn't totaled! This makes me happy because my list of why I don't like driving Greg's car was growing. (Manual locks, manual windows, a truck that barely holds the stroller, an uncomfortable seat position in relation to the steering wheel ...) You see, we were getting ready to sell his car when I wrecked mine. So we postponed selling his (or at least committing it to someone who may buy it later this summer) until we learned what the situation was with mine. So I'm happy to say that I can drive mine once its front bumper and surrounding area is repaired and new airbags are put in.

sleeping while wrecking

I wrecked my car today. And Cate slept through the entire thing.

I was taking Greg back to his office after we had lunch with his parents and brother today. For those of you familiar with Murray, I was trying to left onto Chestnut Street out of the BB&T parking lot. Well, meanwhile, another lady was trying to turn left from Wendy's across the street. Greg was watching to the right, which I was watching to the left. I saw a break in traffic; Greg say a break in traffic. So I pulled out after a pickup truck passed. Apparently she pulled in behind the truck. I didn't see her ... until I was looking over the deployed air bag at her smashed Neon.

I've never had a wreck. I mean, I barely backed into a concrete wall once at a gas station. But it only left a minor scratch on my back bumper. And then one time a car bumped me from behind while I was stopped at a red light on Brownsboro Road in Louisville, causing me to gently bump another car in front of me. Seriously, those don't count.

Today's counted.

So Greg and I were looking into the air bags. Then we looked at each other. Then I jumped out of the car and looked at Cate in the back seat. She was still asleep. I got her out and Greg took her inside the bank while I talked to the police officer, who was on the scene basically immediately because he heard the crashing sound while getting in his car at the bank. Everybody was OK, but, man, I was shaken. (The other driver seemed about the same.)

My nose feels like it's slightly sunburned (not really sunburned, but that's how it feels ...) from the airbag and I have some tender carpet-burn-like spots on my arm. Greg's nose is a little swollen and has a little mark from the air bag. I never questioned why baby car seats go in the back because I'm a play-by-the-rules kind of girl, but I understand now. And that car seat was so steady and kept Cate safe.

I'm just thankful everybody is OK and the only hassles are going to be dealing with the repairs and insurance. A few marks and burns sure don't matter in the big picture.