It's been a whirlwind first half of 2013 for me. Most of it has been ordinary days of striving for balance between mothering and writing, working and playing, going and staying. It's been in this process, God has done big things in my heart. I can't even seem it all, much less describe it all, but I know He's continuing a work he began long ago.
Sometimes this balancing is exhausting. And when I get there, it's usually because I've been holding on too tightly. Letting go really is good for my soul. And so is regrouping and stepping away from it all, which is what I did this weekend. I looked out at that lake. I enjoyed my parents and siblings and their families. I read a whole book. I stayed up too late and got up too early. But I didn't work or write or really even plan.
And now this morning, my body is tired but my mind and heart are rested. I'm looking out again, this time at the past six months and how God has moved. It's as vast at that lake.
Author Holley Gerth has led a group of us women these past six months as we pursue our God-sized dreams. I had no idea what would come out of this group, but it's been nothing like I expected and more than I thought possible through online friendships. This is the last official link-up post, but I get the feeling it's only the beginning to real-life dreaming.
As part of this God-sized Dream Team, I formulated a mission: I believe God has created and called me to communicate stories from my own life and others' lives for families to know God as the author and creator of every detail through writing, promoting and serving.
And then I listed out three dreams and now I'm including updates:
- Pursue publishing a non-fiction motherhood book I've been writing. I've been working on the book sporadically. Some friends have read it. A stranger-now-friend read it. I've added to it and put it in the hands of a couple other friends I'm still hoping will read it. It's certainly a work in progress, but it's still there and will be for awhile because I'm convinced it's a project that will be best spanned over time. It's one of those then-and-now stories that deserves time.
- Continue praying God would lead us to a birthmom for our third adoption. We're still praying and hoping and waiting. Our home study for an independent adoption has expired, but I have the paperwork to gather the information, again.
- Build an on-the-side freelance business. This is the one that hasn't progressed like I expected, but it's certainly progressed. Along with managing our own vacation rental lake house for the second summer, I now also manage the details for another property owner's house. It's a niche I didn't realize I'd like, but it's a good work-from-home job for me. I'm also officially a freelance writer, having taken several writing assignments for a local parenting/family magazine.
Photo taken by my brother-in-law Zac, who happened to have my camera and noticed the view. |
But the asterisk, which, really, is the foundation and not a footnote is that being a wife and mom come first. These are the most important roles in my life, just after seeking God, of course. Everything else comes after. In these six months I've gradually transitioned to a work-from-home mom, but it's the parenting questions and strategies that still weigh most heavily on my heart. My work-related appointments and commitments fit around my family on my calendar.
Yes, it's a balancing act, but the view is nice here. Yes, the horizon is vast, but it's a place I believe I'm meant to be.
I'm also linking up with Jen at Finding Heaven Today, where she throws a weekly Soli Deo Gloria party and offers much transparency and truth.
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